That night when my sister and brother were doing their best to keep me company in my time of need, my mother was outside gathering medicine that could dull the pain.

When she came back, she didn’t hesitate to shove Wisternal Hablus down my throat—or Serpent Grass to those who did not have to learn the conceit to appease annoying fly lizards

I spent a good half my life memorizing useless information. I try to use them as much as possible to validate the effort that I spent. 

To elaborate, the Serpent Grass used to neutralize poison. Or in this case suppress its effects. When I couldn’t even chew it properly, Mother forced it down my throat. The convulsions resulted in me thrashing around. 

But Mother only told siblings to get back while she spoke comforting words, “It’s going to be alright, Arch. Shh, it’s going to be alright.”

She was bruised by my violent thrashing. But she did everything she could to help me. Even when bruised, she stayed by my side.

As for my Father? He arrived thirty minutes later, drenched in sweat with the Town Doctor dozens of kilometers away on his back.

“The Doctor’s here! How is Archon!” that was the first thing Father said when he arrived. His legs have long been tired, but he was never concerned about himself but only at the circumstances of his useless son.

The Doctor was still wearing his nightgown and had been paid Five hundred Copper Coins to tent to my wounds. Anyone could tell that Father went to find the Doctor at the most inconvenient of times. 

When the sun had barely peeked from behind the mountains, I was all patched up.  

It took a total of fifty stitches to get my body back together. A lot less from what I remember. Maybe it was because I had stopped moving around in this timeline.

Everyone was asleep. All but the patient. 

I was awake. But not from the pain. I learned how to control my injuries to a certain degree. I had also developed an impossible amount of toleration to pain.

No, it was from the incredulous feeling of me staring at the family members that I had once lost.

This event happened to me decades ago. The events had been hazy for me. But was it because I arrived in the past that it was flowing into me like water?

A time when I was young, barely in my teenage years at the age of thirteen. I had just stepped on such a year and had been accepted to the Patrol Squad, and in one of my patrols, I foolishly got injured to save a maiden.

It was against the Magical Serpent of the Lake. The Legendary Beast Bakunalis. Its tail lashed out like a whip and injured me.

I barely made it out alive. When I was found by the other patrolling men, I was bleeding heavily and was subjected to poison. It hurt, like torture.

It was my first introduction to true pain. Even at my old age I never found quite like it. Getting injured by the Bakunalis was a death sentence only a meager 2 percent could live through. But I managed to hang on. I suppose this was where I got my talent for holding in pain. My stubbornness and my burning desire to cling to the sliver of life that I had.

Remembering this now, I feel a little bit nostalgic. But, there were many things that time stole away.

Before after this event, my life would be flipped on its head. So I never had the time to fully digest the events that had transpired tonight. My young and impressionable mind would be too overwhelmed by what it would experience that it never got to consider this event.

Yes, I felt gratitude and my affection for my family deepened, but that was all there is to it.

I never realized just how much my family sacrificed to keep me alive. Not even mentioning the pain I put my Mother through, the Serpent Grass I was fed was seen as a panacea in these parts. It was something that the Leader of the Village only had… Mother must have gotten it from them. 

She never told me this. In fact I never knew I was fed Serpent Grass. Oh just how much did she plead the Leader of the Village to give her the Serpent Grass? 

Then how about my Father? 

The next town over was dozens of kilometers away. But, to employ him one would need money. To drag him to this village, it must have cost a significant lot. Just how much did he pay? 

Those bruises on his knees. Just how much did he beg them?

My parents, my siblings and I were serfs. To buy our freedom, money was needed. A hundred copper for each person. 

My Father was a Hunter who wanted to become a Common man. His Parents were also Serfs, and so was his Father’s father. He didn’t want to limit his children’s future, so he would always sing about wanting to be the common man.

I could still remember the nights when he would stay awake, counting the coins he had saved. 

But only I rose out of the marsh that our family had trudge upon for generations.

My family never became more than Serfs. All because they perished not too long after.

A bandit group had come to ravage our little Village. Killing all the Serfs and taking their belongings. 

I was lucky to survive. All because of the opportunity I was presented. But my parents… weren’t. But they could’ve lived if they had moved out. If they had just been able to buy their freedom. If they had just become common people.

But because of me. Because of my youthful ignorance. Father was forced to spend the money he had saved to save his useless son’s life.

I robbed my parents of their freedom.

Robbed my siblings of their future.

I… I did all of that and I lived without even knowing what I had done.

‘What’s this?’

Tears welled up from my eyes. Tears that had once dried. 

The realization… was too much.

If only I was more filial. 

If only I was better.

If only I had never been born.

They would’ve been able to live.

As the morning sun peeked from behind the mountains. 

My family found me in such a sorry state. Crying and sobbing without an end.

“What’s wrong, Arch… is it painful? Come on, tell Mother.” Mother held my hand. Her rough palms reminded me of the hardships she had faced. Yet, her expression had never been gentle. 

“Yeah, tell me son. I’ll bring back the doctor and take a look at you again.” My Father laughed as he patted my shoulders with his strong hands. When I groaned, I saw him panic. He had always been awkward.

Seeing them like this.

Seeing my siblings on the floor who had fallen asleep crying for my sake.

All of it resulted in my incapability to stop the tears.

With great difficulty, I moved. I forced my body to get on its knees.

“I’m sorry….” 

So I kneeled the parents I have abused with my youthful ignorance.

“I’m sorry….”

To beg the family that I had forgotten.

“Please… forgive me…”

“Arch! What are you doing!”

“Stop that! You’re going to open your wounds!”

Even when they were angry, it was all for my sake. 

Oh just how much of an unfilial bastard was I? To have neglected them so. To abandon them for the chance to move up in society. Even when it was with their blessing… what I have done was a mistake.

But in this life… it will be different.

This time.

I will make it better.

So please, I beg of you, “Forgive me for everything I’ve done….”