Loogman struggled to convince the intruders to leave.

Unfortunately, the big one had quit shaking, that guy was too concerned with the shrimpy one’s wailing to pay attention. Maybe if Loogman had a pointy stick his threats would be more effective?

‘What a bunch of litter squats. I’m pretty scary!’

‘Compared to Domadinggone? Ha!’

‘Ridiculous! I’m a god!’

‘Nope, you’re a bunsack, now. A bunsack so unthreatening, you can’t even compete with Domadinggone’s cute face.’

He agreed with himself. He lacked mass slaughter appeal.

There was only one solution, a solution Domadinggone clearly had all figured out. That guy was practically bursting at the seams with it. You see, those two were really scared of the Domadinggone, even in spite of his cute face. That led to only one conclusion.

Loogman wasn’t horny enough to be scary.

He pondered briefly what kind of past trauma those two had suffered through to be so scared of ‘horny’. Nope, nope, nope. Getting attached to bunsacks only makes the job harder.

Lamenting his own uselessness, he hopped over to Eta. Her behavior still worried him, lost in her own little world.

‘She’s all your fault!’

‘No choice! Better off all wrong in the head than devoured by Mister Jenkens, right?’

He didn’t answer himself, but Loogman knew that was true. That cunt in the well was terrifying. Everything was just a minor scratch in comparison.

Speaking of that, he hoped Eta had all that ‘scratching’ out of her system. He tapped her on the shoulder, hoping she’d turn her affections to the intruders whining in the corner. His head didn’t feel good, but he needed her help.

If anyone could conjure up the power of horny, it was her. She really, really liked sex.

‘But no sex for you, bugaboo!’

‘I can claim her knees, right? A shame she lost those chiseled wrinkles…’

Her head turned and an airy smile warped her cheeks. “Scrub-bucket…Scrub-bucket.”

Loogman shook his head. “Nope, Loogman.”

She’d given him a name, and though it didn’t hold any power right now, the Loogman formerly known as Scrub-bucket was determined to cling to it. Someday, that name would mean something.

“A real shame about the town,” she said. “Maybe we should clean it up? I miss my room. Not Thomas, though. He doesn’t visit anymore. Fuck Thomas.”

Loogman bit his tongue. Yeah, I fucked up. The zip-line was a bit much…

“It’s a game, you know?” he explained. “It was all a game and now we gotta keep playing.”

Loogman pointed at the whimpering idiots. “You see? We’re going to chase them around and you’ll understand how much fun it is to play.”

Eta studied the finger morsel Loogman had tossed her. Maybe she was too hungry to be horny?

Nope. She set it gently on the ground and went back to stubbornly humming the Wonderboys.

Getting desperate, he tried a different approach. “That big one, he was making eyes at you earlier. I bet he wants some smooches.”

It wasn’t entirely wrong. The big one was making eyes at Eta earlier, large scared eyes, probably recognizing all the horny oozing off her.

‘Those poor kids…ruined on the hanky-poky, and so young, too.’

‘Ha! You’re too impotent to conjure fear.’

His attempt was wasted.

“I’m useless,” Eta explained. “I can’t walk, remember? Scrub-bucket took me outside once. He had to use a wheeled chair, you know?”

‘Okay. She’s lost her fucking mind.’

‘What were you expecting?’

‘The zip-line was your idea!’

‘Not true. Whatever I know, then by extension, you know, too.’

‘As long as she doesn’t start answering herself…’

‘That’d be nuts.’

‘See! There’s still hope for her!’

Immediately understanding what to do, Loogman ripped open the Dragon's border and jumped through the portal, back into his own little world. Although, he wasn’t too big a fan of coming back here.

Glancing at the carnage he caused around town, Loogman shuddered. There was something downright unsettling about staring at your own disarmed body hanging from a well. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

What was worse, Eta’s old body was pretty messed up, too.

“You’re chiseled wrinkles…such a shame,” he lamented, shoving her corpse out of the wheeled chair.

Her mushy pile slumped to the ground, and the giant transfer stone clinked against the pavement.

Fortunately, Dragon wasn’t a cheapskate. He’d used a big enough transfer stone to collect every last ounce of the wealth Loogman had fed her—his arms, legs, every bit he could spare. Hopefully, that cunt in the well would savor his torso, making it last as long as possible.

That torso was all he had left to pay his dues.

'Maybe I could convince some bunsacks to pledge themselves to this world?'

'Fat chance of that.  Look at this place!'

Loogman hopped into Hank’s Hardware and grabbed a Super Shammy off the display. The super absorbency really did a good job soaking all the bits of entrails and puddled blood off Eta’s wheeled chair.

He had to hand it to Prometheus. That guy really put some neat stuff in his ‘Jumpstart’ book.

Pondering for a moment, Loogman hopped back to grab a few more Super Shammy’s off the display, shoving them into his pocket for later.

‘I ougta make some more, these are great!’

‘You’re too poor to make more.’

‘Yeah, but think of the savings!’

The Super Shammy’s made clean-up a breeze, no more wasted wealth!

Working his way back to Eta’s chair, he popped the bloodied chamois into his mouth, sucking all the ooey goodness from the rag. Never hurts to be frugal!

With a wave of his hand, he returned to the cave, pushing the wheeled chair towards Eta while sucking on the chamois from Hanks.

He might not be horny enough to inspire fear, but Eta…she was practically gushing apart at the seams!