--- --- Week 1 - Day 6 - Sunday, 8th Day of the Seventh Month --- ---

Celies grumbled. She had not slept enough.

She had stayed up trying to read up on epic characters, the shrine, kitsune, shrine maidens, Tamano no Mae, and house Kairan.

It was ranging from simple to confusing.

The simplest thing was however the shrine. Old, not used for 23 years, in need of repairs, a little out of town, and according to a new report had been used as a hiding spot for thieves' loot. Said thieves had been spell bombed by the albino shrine maiden.

According to the books, epics ranged from monsters that slaughtered to perverts that banged everything. Some were crazy risk-taking adventurers, others explorers that would climb the tallest trees and scale the largest mountains. They could even appear entirely ordinary, spending their lives buried in research or doing nothing at all. It could be said that every epic was eccentric with one quirk or another.

What she had found out about shrine maidens was simple again. Shrine maidens were normally content spending their life at their shrine and rarely moved around. Their opposite, the dark shrine maidens tended to curse, summon the dead and were far more inclined to wander around until they found a place, they spent a few years extorting their surroundings.
It explained a lot why her headache was interested in a shrine.

Kitsune were a nice change, like with all races they had their racial traits. Like True Seeing as their racial sight? Celies had to read again to make sure she had read correctly. Natural true seeing was really powerful. It went a long way towards explaining the Level Adjustment of +2 for the race. Character wise most kitsune were normal, some however were clearly influenced by their goddess.
Going after whatever struck their fancy, or in many cases whoever struck their fancy. Celies rubbed her tired eyes. She blushed. They could be found as adventurers, as artists, as pretty much everything if it struck their interest … it was rather unhelpful since that was true for almost any race.
And why were there so many futa references to kitsune? Especially shrine maidens had references in official books, not just her erotic novels, were said to be very large.

The high elven maiden sighed. The goddess was especially hard to predict. There was no telling about what her reaction could be. Sure comfort, relaxation, beauty, and good food and drink.

House Kairan was hard for her to find information on. The Kairan daughter Zaria van Kairan, a human girl of the age of 14 got assassinated. Human girl. The one walking through the town was not a human. All this made no sense.

Despite everything she had read, she still felt very unprepared. The white intruder was simply too powerful, too weird, and kept a lover and a sex pet.

Celies blushed. She had read that Zaria had a sex pet bunnygirl. She did not know how it managed to handle the kitsune's size.

She decided she needed real information. Someone who had spent more time with Zaria. Unfortunately, there was nobody … actually there was.

"Sienna, I need to talk to Mrr'am"

------

Mrr'am was a pretty happy kitten.

She was full, very small elf had small elf, the little sister of sweet elf, bring food. Now she was full and had enough food for later. Small bunny was out with big sister and big moo.

Mrr'am agonized a little over her homework before she decided to use the trick white one said. Taking twelve coins she started to arrange them into four piles. A coin on each pile. Then add a coin each until you run out.

"Twelve apples are three apples each for four people."

Satisfied, she checked the next question.

"How many apples will three people get, if they split twelve apples."

Mrr'am stared at the coins hard. Then she split the fourth pile and shared the coins with the remaining three piles.

"Four apples." Mrr'am mumbled. "If three people share twelve apples each gets four apples." She noted down.

She pulled a parchment out that white had made for her.

"Three times four same as four times three, both twelve. Oh, two times six twelve too." Mrr'am tried to make herself remember that.

There was a knock on the door suddenly.

Mrr'am tiptoed to the door.

"Nyah?"

"Hello? Mrr'am? I am Sienna, we have met at Lady Celies for dinner. My Mistress asks for your presence." A female voice came.

Mrr'am frowned, there was too much at once, she was confused. What did white say? Start at beginning, ignore rest. Then simply do next step. Like with cooking, you can't make a steak without having the meat cut, you can't fry without a hot pan.
"Who is nyah?"

Sienna frowned, clearly her name had not stuck to the kitten. The cookies and tea had been more of a focus … that was it! "I baked the cookies when you met Fel'ctas party members, I also gave you tea with honey." The elven maid paused.

"Nyah~ Sweet elf~ sweet elf sister come today~"

Sienna relaxed a bit; the kitten had remembered. The door unlocked and opened to reveal a nude kitten. "May I come in?"

"Mhm~"

Sienna followed the kitten inside, and saw math homework and more money than a kitten should have.

"Mrr'am doing homework, coins help count." The kitten scampered back to the table and checked the question sheet. "Mrr'am must find out how many arrows are needed to kill ten goblins if one goblin needs two arrows to be killed." The kitten started pilling coins before she stopped. She took the multiplication table white made for her. "Two times ten is twenty!" The kitten ignored her baffled audience.

Sienna was staring at the loveseat. It looked comfortable, just right for two three affectionate people.

"White make that."

"Sorry?" Sienna was confused.

Mrr'am was even more confused. "Why is sweet elf sorry?"

Sienna paused, she needed to be clear and precise. "I don't understand what you mean. Who is white? And what did white make?"

"White is white. And white make … Mrr'am forget name … large soft seat for cuddling?"

"It is called a loveseat." The maid explained calmly, at least she knew now what had been made. Now she just had to figure out who white was. Actually, there was one white figure who probably had no qualms about putting a loveseat in a house that was probably worth less than the loveseat itself.

"White is the one as tall as you? The one that you went on a picnic with?"

Mrr'am nodded agreeing.

"My Mistress wants to talk to you about white."

"Nyah?"

Sienna pondered how to explain, maybe lure the kitten with cookies? "White is strong and special, so we want to know more about white."

"White is white?"

"We want to know what white likes …"

"Meat!" Mrr'am interrupted.

Sienna ignored it and continued. "... and what she did while you two were meeting. So, you are invited to cookies and tea with honey."

"Cookies!"

"Yes, cookies. If you get dressed then we can go sooner and you get cookies sooner."

The small pink catgirl ran off, probably to get dressed. Sienna decided that whatever her Mistress wanted, was not what she was going to get. It was probably going to be very confusing and amusing.

Now however she had an eager kitten that had her dress buttoned up incorrectly.
"Let me help you button it right."

"Thank you, sweet elf~"

The maid fixed the buttons with practised motions and straightened the hair a bit. "Now we can go."

"Cookies~"

"Yes cookies, I made some fresh ones today."

"Fresh cookies!"

The very unlikely duo left the home, with Mrr'am returning quickly to lock the door.

The happily skipping kitten caught the attention of many people.

------

At the mansion the guard gave the pink catgirl a curious look, but let them pass without a word. You annoyed or stopped the head maid at your own risk. After all, Celies might be the boss, but Sienna controlled everything.

The pair arrived at the door, where Sienna let them in with her key.

"Please wait here, I will be back with the cookies and my Mistress in a moment."

"Cookies~"

It was clear what the main thing on the kitten's mind was. Sienna decided against warning her Mistress.

Mrr'am was meanwhile sitting impatiently, the couch was soft and had enough spring that it allowed her to bounce. The room was pretty, Mrr'am decided, it was sparkly, clean, and had a lot of colours. She saw a painting, she decided it looked familiar, the pretty woman looked very familiar, but something about her seemed wrong.

"I am back Mrr'am, this is my Mistress Celies, you have met her before when your sister introduced her party to you."

"Greetings Mrr'am, I am Celies van Arielle, I asked you here today to talk to you about Lady Zaria."

Mrr'am then realized why the painting looked familiar yet off. "Very small elf is not very small in painting?" The kitten compared the painting and the person.

Celies took a moment to realize what her pink guest was talking about. Then she felt the blow to her pride.

Mrr'am rose from the couch and patted Celies hand. "Tiny elf will grow up."

Sienna knew her Mistress well enough to understand how badly these words stabbed her. It was time for a distraction. "Please sit, I brought tea and cookies."

"Cookies~"

"Yes, would you like honey in your tea again?"

"Mrr'am likes honey. Sweet tea and cookies." Mrr'am agreed.

The high elven maid led the kitten to the couch. With practised ease she filled the teacup and added the honey under the watchful eyes of her captured audience. Honestly Sienna enjoyed the way their guest was captured by such routine moments.

"I want to talk to you about Zaria." Celies started the interrogation.

"Who Zaria?" Was the confused reply.

"She is the albino kitsune." Celies explained.

"Mrr'am only know white kitsune."

"Albino means white." Celies explained calmly.

"Mrr'am confused, why not call white white?"

"Because there are races with white skin, albino means that someone is white from a race that is not white normally." Celies tried to explain. "If you were white, you would be an albino."

"Mrr'am is pink!"

"Yes, you are, but I meant that as an example."

The kitten pondered for several moments. "Because white is white, white is an albino."

"Exactly."

"Mrr'am not exact when drawing circles or lines, teacher always complain."

Celies tried to return the conversation back on track. "I want to know more about white."

"White has fluffy tail."

"That is a kitsune tail, they are fluffy like foxtails."

"White have red eyes."

"All albinos have white skin and red eyes."

"White smart?" Mrr'am understood that the tiny elf wanted to know more, but she was not sure what she wanted to know. She picked a cookie while she wondered what else to tell her big sister's friend. "White very smart, teach Mrr'am division, also teach Mrr'am to use coins as help, and make mu … multiplication table for Mrr'am."

Celies wondered about the girl. She was clearly mentally behind, yet she was friendly and happy. Maybe it was easier for simple people to be happy. "Has she told you anything else?"

"Mhm~" The small catgirl nibbled on her cookie and took a sip of tea. "White tell Mrr'am if no understand to start at beginning and try to understand bit by bit. Mrr'am should skip the impossible, sometimes things make sense after." The kitten nodded to herself, and she looked adorable with her partially confused look. "Like can't make steak without the cut meat. First must get meat, then must cut meat, then must flavour meat, then must roast meat, only then can eat steak. If skip something, not steak."

Celies almost gaped at the explanation. It was very logical, yet the example was weird, but looking at her guest she understood why a steak had been chosen as an example.

"Ohh! White like meat, white cook meat because want to get flavour right. White told Mrr'am next time cook together."
The small catgirl almost bounced on the couch.

"Is white a good cook?"

"White make best steak and meat skewers! Mrr'am learn that bacon with meat better than just meat."

The high elf tried to ask in a way that could not be misunderstood, or enabled her to hear more random things. Why an epic character and future duchess was a great cook was very confusing. "So, she is good cook, what else is she good at?"

"Math!"

Celies did not groan, that was something she had already heard. "Aside of cook, what else does she do?"

Mrr'am tilted her head, before she seemed to have an idea. "White does magic, loooots of magic."

That was a topic Celies could try to learn more about. "Like what kind of magic?"

"White make coin shine, make adventurers go bzzt, make thieves go fwoosh, make chair turn comfy seat, repair dress, heal big sis, make metal change shape, and disappear."

The wizard tried to parse that list, bzzt was probably a lightning spells, there had been the report and tale of the adventurers she had knocked out, fwoosh was probably a fire spell, healing was a cure or something spell, Celies felt bad about Fel'ctas getting hurt, transformation was already mentioned by that Kairan guard having turned cowgirl, shine is a light spell, disappear was probably teleportation, or maybe some invisibility.
The elf tried something different. "That sounds like a lot of magic."

"Nyah, white say that if you have a lot then you should use it, if you don't have much, you must save it."

That made sense to Celies, in a horribly epic way. A starting wizard like her had to save every spell, if you had the spells, why not use them? Especially if you did not need to save them for adventures. The wizard in her wanted to scream at the injustice, spontaneous casting was nice despite the spell limits, she had to sit down each morning and ponder each choice. "What about her companions?"

"Nyah?" Mrr'am was not sure what the wizard wanted to know.

"Her friends, my Mistress wants to know more about her friends." Sienna corrected.

"Not small bunny, big elf and small elf?" The kitten wondered.

"Yes, what can you tell me about her friends." Celies jumped at the lifeline her maid had thrown her. "Like what about the big elf?"

"Big elf not only friend, but also lover and soft." Mrr'am tried to explain, to the best of her ability. "She dark, look weird, but smell nice."

Celies realized that big elf meant the drow maid, they were known to have larger busts than most elven races.

"Mrr'am think big elf like white, and white like big elf."

Celies decided that if even Mrr'am realized that bit, that the lover status was probably true.

"Big elf weak, Mrr'am stronger than big elf!"

That threw Celies for a loop, the small kitten was stronger than the drow?

"Big elf good at cleaning, not small bunny also good at cleaning."

That made sense since both were maids.

"Bunny not like meat so much. White say it race thing. Like moo big or very big, Mrr'am have tail, sweet elf not have tail."

Celies once again felt the stab from the words. She had clearly not thought that flaw through, it was not her fault she had not understood it's full ramifications, the descriptions were insufficient! "What about small elf?" Celies had the suspicion that this meant Lady Elior.

"Small elf boring, talk a lot, complain a lot." Mrr'am frowned. "She loud."

The two high elves shared a look. The famous lady Elior was described as boring and loud?

"But feel important, like teacher, white say she strong." Mrr'am frowned. "But white much stronger."

That made more sense, comparing a high epic to a level 14 did not make sense. "And the bunny?"

"Bunny like veggies and cleaning, also like hugging, the ears look fun to bite."

"I agree, the ears look cute." Celies said thinking about Tinkerbell.

"Mrr'am agree, ears go twitch twitch, and ears big."

"White is right, it is a racial thing." Celies agreed.

"Mrr'am would miss tail." The kitten then asked the maid. "Sweet elf not eat cookies?"

The maid smiled gently and explained. "No these are for you and Mistress."

"Mrr'am feel bad if eat all alone."

"I can pack some more for you sister and friends."

"Nyah~"

Celies finally remembered her tea, and that she had not tasted her cookies and tea yet. The cookies were a bit sweeter than normal, probably for her guest. Celies realized that she had not really found out a lot about the epic shrine maiden. "Do you know why she wants a shrine?"

"White say that shrine like temple but not as expensive?" The kitten remembered the explanation on shrine maidens. "White want shrine because shrine maiden." That should explain it best.

For Celies it did not explain why it was a shrine belonging to her town. "So, she likes Trianna?"

"Mhm~ White like it here, is fun when sheep go baah."

"She bought wine from the vineyards." Sienna explained to her Mistress.

Sheep were a skittish race; it usually did not take much to scare one. Probably she found it amusing.

"Why don't we have the cook make dinner for you and your sister."

"And bunny, bunny live there too."

Celies felt a slight stab of jealousy. "And bunny."

"Nyah!"

However, Celies really understood why Fel'ctas cherished her little sister. When you did not need information, the kitten was rather adorable. For her it only increased the confusion, and the intruder to her domain was not really making more sense than before.

LazyFloof

Glossary has D&D 3.5 Game and Rule Information
https://www.scribblehub.com/series/69709/lets-explore-and-enjoy/glossary/
Discord Link - The good stuff manual is in #information
https://discord.gg/chtmk3t
Character Sheets sorted by Chapters
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1vzsM3kW_dXlHtbA6lrqL2YJW42L52esY?usp=sharing
Current Character Sheets and Various other Sheets
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1sJdLJ_NUhYLzvsVnnyeNTjpE-X5ksjBw?usp=sharing

Spoiler

Dramatis Personae (quick Character overview on who, where, what, contains spoilers)
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1oyEHE2l_FYYl6Q2iaj6e3BQmbbHpnZIAVja59T4i-xM/edit?usp=sharing
Timeline (which mc did what where and when, massive spoilers)
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1TD7tSrDjTnwvTyqV3OtvJzoxzxzLtvhlZY3LtGplkvI/edit?usp=sharing
Current Character Sheets and Various other Sheets
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1sJdLJ_NUhYLzvsVnnyeNTjpE-X5ksjBw?usp=sharing

[collapse]

Notes:
That was fun, Mrr'am is fun to write. Hope everyone has as much fun reading as I had writing.

Poll: Nom Nom?
1: Steak
2: Meat Skewer
3: Meat & Bacon Skewer
4: Vegetable Skewer
5: Mixed Skewer
6: Fresh Milk
7: Cookies
8: Cake
9: Chicken
10: Duck