“There is an innocence in admiration: it occurs in one who has not yet realized that they might one day be admired.” 
― Friedrich Nietzsche

 

 

Next three weeks were majorly uneventful, except for the fact that somewhere in the middle Ren suddenly realized that, hey, it's winter out there. But then, she was in the Fire Country and it was mildly climate-wise, or rather cold, but never below zero this time of year – so imagine Ren's surprise, when she woke up one day to world coated in pure whiteness outside the window. Only then she bothered to check that it was, in fact, the middle of February, and also, her birthday was due in two weeks or so.

(Maybe it wasn't most normal that Renee, too, had her birthday due the second of March, like Ren, but she didn't even bother freaking out over it anymore, really.)

Also, another very notable thing was that Sasuke invited Naruto and Kiba over. Actually invited – not Ren, not Hokage, not Naruto inviting himself. Sasuke, in his full, mighty and broody, eight-year-old form. It basically happened because he finally took pity of the boy and decided (quite angrily) that they're going to study together from now on, every single Tuesday, and Kiba just happened to be around so he told him that the Inuzuka boy is free to join if he wants.

So, it wasn't just any invitation. Sasuke actually had Naruto coming over every single week because of him. He didn't seem to count it as a friendly interaction, but Ren knew her fair share and Naruto was overjoyed, so she let her little cousin's awkwardness slide. And also, of course, Konohamaru had instantly taken liking to Naruto more than to Sasuke. But then, Naruto was (quite literal, mind you) ball of overactive sunshine, with his charisma and slightly bratty attitude, so, of course, Konohamaru would tag along in delight.

(They actually managed to lure Tenzo into trap, and would catch Kakashi, too, wasn't he a tad faster. Those children were frightening when need be, and Ren was so damn glad they were growing from her ducklings into faithful underlings/minions. So very glad.

In the end, Tenzo had to walk around with hair dyed glittery blue. Ren could bet that other ANBU were going to have have a field day – the secretive secret that they were just very well paid bunch of gossips was somehow known to majority of ninja ad minority of civilian population who actually paid attention.)

Ren's wound, thankfully, gradually stopped being such a nuisance as well. In four weeks from massacre she was finally, finally greenlit to kick Hyūga Hibiki's ass. And she did exactly that. Every. Single. Time. It wasn't difficult, though, as Ren placed near the top in the class ranking, and he was near the bottom. Teachers still majorly paired them up against each other, as things actually could've gotten hairy, had Hibiki decided to use his Byakugan for once. And he actually did – and gods bless Sharningan, because even with it Ren wasn't able to block all the Gentle Fist hits the first time around he surprised her with it. Well, at least he got detention afterwards, for 'endangering other students'.

Also, meetings with Hana and Kiba became sort of regular way of spending Monday's evening. They would just gather before Academy after school hours and then spend some time together, up until the sky would darken, most often. They wouldn't exclusively go to eat out; in fact, two weeks ago, they went to the park and had a giant snowball battle. It was, actually, a good training of accuracy, sneak and dodging. And if Ren and Hana put extra strength and precision into throwing extra hardened snowballs at people who eyed Naruto wrong, well. Accidents happen and so do stray snowballs.

Then, Genma magically appeared and they decided to build a giant snowman, trying their best to make it look like the tokujo. There was also that other Jōnin who stumbled by – Aoba, if Ren remembered correctly – who started making clucking noises upon spotting Genma dogpiled by kids on snow. Eventually, Genma got so fed up with it (Goddamn Aoba, don't you have work to do?!) that he tried to strangle the other man. Maybe, just maybe, Aoba would stand a chance against Genma alone – but against Genma and five kids? Not so much.

Things began to change on the beginning of fourth week, though, around the evening, on Friday, after school. Naruto somehow managed to drag Sasuke and Kiba away somewhere, and they would go pranking, she was goddamn certain, thus giving Ren some free time all for herself. So, she randomly decided to just take a stroll through the woods. And somehow in the middle of her walk, when she was pretty certain she's alone, she started singing.

In past weeks she also discovered that she doesn't sound like a dying chicken anymore. Of all things, it was the voice that differed between Renee and Ren, with Ren's voice resembling more and more that of Sawashiro Miyuki, Ren's second favorite seiyu ever. First was Paku Romi, but that was Temari's voice, so… She apparently wasn't going to sound like a yowling cat or retarded donkey, thank the Sage. Actually, Miyuki could sing much better than Renee would ever dream about, but- but, well, she was technically an anime character now, and she could have her own seiyu, yes?

---

And so, she starts singing. Not at first, of course, firstly she thoroughly checks abut people around, of course. She still isn't taking chances in scarring minds for life, not really. But then, she likes humming around – humming that would turn into full-out singing had she forgotten the world. And, of course, she did.

"There are three things I do when my life falls apart
Number one I cry my eyes out and I dry up my heart
Not until I do this will my new life start
So that's the first thing that I do when my life falls apart."

She intones slowly, taking deep breaths of frosty, February air. Snow croaks underneath her feet as she walks.

"Oh the second thing I do is I close both of my eyes
And say my thank-you's to each and every moment of my life.
I go where I know the love is and let it fill me up inside
Gathering new strength from sorrow,
I'm glad to be alive."

Birds apparently all ran away from her. She kind of expected that to happen, so it's no big deal, really.

"The third thing that I do now when my world caves in,
is I pause I take a breath, and bow, and I let that chapter end.
I design my future bright, not by where my life has been.
And I try, try, try, try, try again.
Yes I try, try, try, try, try again."

She didn't particularly feel like yowling the refrain, so she felt justified from not doing it. And if she messes up the number of 'try', singing and counting at once is difficult. Well, at least no one is there to hear her poor cover of Jason Mraz's 3 Thing-

"That was very pretty, miss."

Fuck.

Ren's head snapped around instantly, and then just stopped, because she is greeted with most ludicrous pastel-pink hair and giant, mint-green eyes so full of wonder it was amazing they didn't pop out yet. So, yes, Ren basically just faces tiny-Sakura, who apparently heard her singing.

"How long were you listening?" she narrows her eyes at the miniature version of a person that, in ten years or so, will become very frightening and very talented second coming of Tsunade. Who, currently, is just another good-for-nothing Sasuke fan girl, really.

"Uh," mini-Sakura blushes, "from the second thing. You were so caught up in it that you didn't notice me, so I followed you, because the song was very pretty, and your voice is kind of pretty, too…" she smiles sheepishly and looks down, at the snow, and Ren brings her eyebrows together.

"Why are you here alone?" she asks then, and Sakura bites her lip and sighs. Suddenly she seems as if she's about to cry.

"Because…" she croaks. "Because Ino-chan was my friend, and now she's not- Or I thought she was, but she was friends with those mean girls who bullied me all along too, and I don't know anymore!" she wails, and Ren's waist is suddenly attacked by mini-kunoichi and used as crying pillow, and honestly, what's a girl to do? Wrong time, wrong place, and now she pays for it.

But… Wait. Wasn't Sakura and Ino the best friends forever before they started fighting over Sasuke? But then, the only post-war filler Ren ever watched was the one where Kakashi pretended to be Sukea and amused himself in Team Seven's hard tries in order to see his face whereas it was there all along. Well then, it was kind of obvious she missed thing or two. Or many. (Or were fillers even a thing?)

"There, there," she sighs, patting girl's back. "Then she apparently wasn't your friend, you know."

"But I want to be friends with Ino-chan! Because she's so pretty, and smart, and, and-" Sakura sobs and Ren grows more and more exasperated by the second. Sweet Jashin, why her?

"Look, kid," Ren sighs and somehow manages to pry the girl off of her, so she can kneel down. "If she can't get over the fact that you like the same boy and still be your friend, then she doesn't deserve you."

"But I was the one to say we're rivals now!" Sakura wails, and Ren fights the urge to roll her eyes, hard. To think that at this age all she cared about were dolls and cartoons, really. "I said that if we both like Sasuke-kun we are rivals now!"

"And if she didn't just laugh it off, then she never was your true friend!" Ren says louder, and the girl finally silences. "And, by the way, what exactly do you like in my little cousin, huh?" she cocks her eyebrows, and Sakura stills for a second.

"You're that mean lady who keeps Sasuke-kun away!" Sakura says, suddenly the only trace of her crying being the slowly-freezing tears on her cheeks, and Ren can't help but laugh.

"Oh dear Sage," she snickers. "It doesn't matter now. What do you like in Sasuke?"

"Well, I- I think he's very smart and cute," girl says with small smile, and Ren rolls her eyes yet again.

"And…?"

"And what?" Sakura cocks her head.

"Is that all?" Ren questions, because surely, that' can't be all, can it?

"Uh, yes?"

Ren stops for a moment, then groans, and then facepalms so hard, that at the sound of desperate 'slap' of her palm connecting to her forehead, remnants of birds rise up and scatter away in fear.

"I had no idea your 'love' for Sasuke was so shallow, like what?" she whines, hiding her face in her hands. "Sweet Jashin, Lord of Carnage…"

"Is this wrong?" Sakura asks, cocking her head, and Ren sighs again.

"Yes, yes it is!" she whines. "Except for the fact that you're eight and not supposed to be interested in boys at all for at least next six years? Yes! All you like in the boy is the fact that he's cute? Dear lord, this is a reason for one-night-stand, not pursuing a long-term relationship!"

"What's an one-night-stand?" Sakura asks, and Ren facepalms again, this time at her own stupidity.

"It's when two people meet, have sex and then part ways. Like in relationship, just… Without relationship," she explains, scratching back of her head.

"And what's sex?" she asks again.

"You're going to learn that in class in few years. Perhaps," Ren sighs. "If not, and if your parents won't say it, then come to me, okay? That's not a kind of thing to learn from a total stranger, really. And not at the age of eight, either. Right now I can tell you, though, it's how the ugly, good-for-nothing, shrieking larvae called newborns are made, so they can, maybe, and just maybe, evolve into proper people one day."

"Woah, you know a lot!" pinkette smiles.

Duh, of course I do, Ren thinks. I'm thirty-one, for crying out loud.

"Yeah, I kinda do," she shrugs, because knowing things is what she do. What her former job was all about, in fact. And in the matter of one-night-stands… For someone unable to love, that's the closest to relationship she's ever had, really. "What are you doing?" Ren asks, as Sakura undoes her headband and allows her fringe to fall freely onto her face, making her look even more miserable.

"Ino gave me this, I don't want it anymore," she puffs her cheeks, and that's a new thing, really. Ren sighs, and kneels by the girl again, extending her hand.

"Give me that," she says, and the girl obediently places the material in her hand. Then she motions at Sakura to come closer, and so the girl does, and Ren starts working at taming her fringe. Slowly and without a proper comb, but somehow she manages to part the hair into something akin to what she would wear during The Last Movie and up. Different from what she wore in actual Naruto, but Ren always found that other hairstyle working with her aesthetics much better.

"Uhm, what are you doing?" Sakura questions.

"Something so you wouldn't look like such a scarecrow… Okay, done. Can't show you though, but looks better than what you had before," Ren smiles. "It would look better I you god hairclips for it, though. Or I'm just shit at doing hair. Or both."

"Bad words!" Sakura giggles, and Ren rolls her eyes.

"Sure, sure, you're not the only to complain," she sighs. "And you know what? I couldn't care less."

"I'm Haruno Sakura, by the way!"

"Sure, sure. 'm Ren. Uchiha Ren."

"Oh, Uchiha! Like Sasuke-kun!" girl squeaks in surprise.

"Well, duh, I'm his cousin, I've said that before. Few times," Ren rolls her eyes. "Third…? Yeah, third. So we're pretty closely related still. But then, who isn't… Wasn't, related within our clan?" she sighs, running her hand through her hair.

"Could you…" Sakura starts, digging in the snow with her shoe. "Could we meet here tomorrow?"

"Why not just after school, before the Academy building instead? I go there too, you know" Ren asks before she can bite her tongue, and Sakura's eyes light up.

"Yes!" she chirps, and just runs away.

And so, that is how it starts.

(And if, when coming back home, Ren stops by accessory shop and buys black hairclips with pink cherry blossoms and proper red headband, well. She just doesn't have better things to waste her money on, okay?)