Kim chose to walk home instead of taking a taxi, or accepting the offer of a lift from his new friend. He threw those words around his head as he walked; ‘new friend’. Neither word was correct. Gun was friendly, like a scorpion sidling up to you. He was new to Kim, but his kind were well known. Kim didn’t trust him, but needed him so much.

The sun was hot and high in the sky, and Kim let his jacket fall from his shoulders and scooped it up under his arm. For a moment he let the gentle sound of the wind, and the few city birds singing above to take him over.

But the quietness would never last, and soon Kim’s mind was drifting back to Gun grinning at him, a hand reaching out to his shoulder. ‘Let me take you home,’ he’d said, that grin telling Kim so much more. The worse part of their meeting just moments ago, was not the hand, the hint, or the grin, but the fact that Kim had felt tempted.

Gun was taller than him by just a few inches, but he stood straight from his military background, and seemed to tower over Kim. He was broad and obviously fit. His clothes, although absently chosen, hung well from his frame. Kim had noticed this the first time Gun had approached him. Kim’s disloyal mind couldn’t help but consider what Gun could do to him, and, Kim could guess, wanted to. Kim felt the heat riding in his cheeks as he walked.

His mind then decide to punish him further, as it slipped from Gun’s strong grip on his shoulder, to Porchay.

Chay’s wide, full smile entered his mind, the excitement he would show just by seeing Kim, and the joy such a simple thing as one kiss had brought him. The innocence Kim saw in Chay hung heavily around him now, and his stomach ached to see his smile again.

Kim shook his head, and sped up his walk. Chay was as out of it all as he could be; he’d moved away from Kinn and Porsche, and was staying in a tiny flat in the city. Kim had made sure to always know where Chay was, but would never let Chay know this. Chay was the one sweet thing in his life, and Kim couldn’t let him be distorted by everything Kim had to do. By everything that had happened.

But still, he found himself missing Chay more than ever, as he brushed thoughts of Gun from his mind.

Kim decided to force thoughts forward, rather than let his mind decide what to ruminate on. He chose Kuhn, and the meeting they’d just had. Kuhn had been as strange as ever, rambling and lost. And yet Kim always felt there had to be something else to what Kuhn said. He still hoped. He was so obsessed with death, always asking who would die in a drama, but insisting on watching that same show over and over. Kim wanted nothing more than to unravel what had happened to Kuhn. His brave, thoughtful brother still remained, he had to.

The line of thoughts that stood across his mind now like an impenetrable army battered him even more than the one about Chay. Kim rubbed his forehead to try and dislodge them.

Fine, Kim said to himself, if you want to think about terrible things, think about something useful at least.

He allowed the conversation he’d had with Gun to enter his mind again, and went over that he’d told him.

‘Still not finding anything, I’m guessing.’ Gun had grinned at him.

Kim shook his head. ‘The place has so many hiding place, but I thought I’d found them all. It’s just the attic I can’t get into.’

‘What’s in the attic?’ Gun asked.

Kim thought about the woman who still decided to stay up there, hidden away for so many years, for her own safety she was told, and chose to believe. She would leave her rooms there sometimes, Kim would see her, almost floating through the house, until she would disappear again. The only person she would spend time with, other than her son Porsche, was Kuhn. They seem to be kindred in their madnesses, and could communicate to each other with just their eyes. Nam couldn’t speak, or wouldn’t maybe, but they seemed to understand each other on such a deep level, it made Kim jealous of her. He wanted that with Kuhn, and would risk his own madness through all this to get his brother’s true words.

Kim ignored Gun’s question. He wouldn’t let Gun know about the strangeness of their family tree, not just yet, and never unless it was needed. ‘There must be something I’m missing,’ Kim continued, ‘some secret I haven’t found in the house yet.’

‘Like a secret passage?’ Gun asked, his voice tinged with humour.

Kim didn’t find it funny; that’s exactly what he was thinking. ‘There’s more to that house,’ he said, ‘ways in, and out, hidden spaces, liminal and lost but filled with everything I’m looking for.’ He was talking to himself now more than to Gun.

‘Well, be careful, there’s more secrets outside it, too. Like your cousin, Vegas. He’s up to something, he’s not happy with the take-over, you must know that.’ Gun said.

Kim nodded. He knew to keep an eye on Vegas, even after Pete seemed to subdue him for a while. Kim had never expected Vegas to lay down for long.

‘He’s getting pretty close with Porsche, too,’ Gun continued. This made Kim stop walking and look over at him, and Gun stopped too. He leaned in close to Kim. ‘Be careful of the cuckoo,’ he whispered.

This is when Gun reached out to Kim’s shoulder. He squeezed it almost harshly, giving Kim a hint to an experience he could have if he let Gun take him anywhere. Kim let his hand linger there, and he asked to take him home. Who’s home? Kim wondered. But he shrugged Gun’s hand from him; he didn’t need that level of complication. He said goodbye, and strode off down the street, leaving Gun behind.

Now, walking away from his family home and to his new place, Kim felt he’d made a mistake letting Gun drive away. He shivered at the thought, and sped up more.

Once in his flat, Kim went to the bathroom to wash the day form his face. Looking into the mirror he saw what he knew was a handsome face staring back, but it seemed so aged, ancient even, with everything its angular, youthful frame hid behind it.

As he began to unbutton his shirt, Kim saw something almost shining on his neck, and he remembered how close Gun had come to him as he asked to take him home, his mouth next to Kim’s ear, his blond hair brushing across his neck, leaving one strand to follow Kim home.