In the annual gathering of the nobles, the heads of the Jayen's family which is his parents asked him to act properly. He wanted to go things smoothly so he nodded and practiced for more etiquette. 

 

"Jayen, let's play again!" Xian brought some spell books for a guide. 

 

"... I don't want to play, Xian." He says softly, balancing five books on his head while standing up. 

 

"What was that for? I thought you're finished on that thing already?" She sits on the ground, grinning widely at him. 

 

"That's true but remember the annual gathering next week?" 

 

"Yes? What about it? Our parents will throw us in a room full of other noble rats — brats, I mean." 

 

He laughs softly, "you didn't miss being so rude, hmm?" 

 

"Of course not. If people won't treat me with kindness and I didn't even do a single sinful thing for me to receive mistreatment, I'll give them the same treatment." She scoffs, putting down the spell books and crossing her arms. 

 

"I wish I have your confidence, Xian." 

 

"You have it though?" 

 

"Huh?" 

 

"You have confidence, but your parents are controlling it for now because you will be the future head of your family remember? You need control in order to keep everything in balance." 

 

His eyes widened and ears turned pink, "You and your wisdom..." 

 

"Do you like me now?" She says in a playful tone of voice. 

 

"You're like my sister, stop it — Ah!" He loses balance and falls right on his face. Instead of helping him, Xian bursts out laughing and lays down on the ground. 

 

"It's not funny!" 

 

"It does! Look at your face!" She slaps the ground too hard, "Ow!" 

 

From pouting, Jayen's face slowly turns brighter and he laughs at her misery. 

 

"You! Jayen!" 

 

"We're like that before?" Arete's eyes widened in surprise. 

 

"Yes. I'm a calm and collected kid. While you, you're the wild one." 

 

"It must be embarrassing for you to have a friend like me! I'm sorry!" Her ears turned red and she covered her face. 

 

"Don't be. It's full of fun and a lot of memories were made because of that." 

 

"More! Continue your story!" 

 

On the night of the annual gathering, Jayen and Xian arrived as partners. It's mandatory even in young nobles. They saw their rivals at the academy which slightly triggered them. 

 

Things were going so well at first. Xian helped Jayen in rehearsing his lines to make an acquaintance to the other young lords that he will make an alliance with when he gets older. 

 

Then some other nobles start comparing their achievements from Jayen's. He smiled throughout the conversation, keeping his emotion on track even though in his eyes, he's near breaking down. He's growing up and this is the harsh reality between young nobles. It's inevitable. Right? 

 

"I'm glad you achieved your present goals, my lords. I'm sure it will help you to stand out in the academy more." 

 

"What about you, Young Lord Jayen? Don't you have any recent activities for your family's adding honor?" A young lord says in a mocking tone. 

 

"I heard he was close to Lady Xian. Her family is the direct descendants of the first king of Iryankka. Maybe he's using her." Another young lord added. 

 

"No... Xian and I are friends... Friends don't use each other." He shakes his head, denying false accusations. 

 

"Who still believes in that kind of fairytale? I saw your parents talking to Xian's about expanding businesses in the west and just leave the processing on your family." 

 

"It's because Xian's father is already in the service of the king. He won't be able to attend meetings to improve the lacking in the area." He answered honestly. 

 

"But it seems like your parents are forcing her to give the rights to them. Isn't that suspicious?" The young lords start snickering. 

 

He sighs and maintains his smile on his face, 'I need to do my part. I'm the heir. The future head of my family. Everyone is expecting me to suck it in, in my heart.' 

 

Then a splash of juice came out of nowhere. Causing the suits of the young lords to be stained. Of course, they're enraged about that, asking everyone who did it. 

 

And there she was... 

 

Xian is grinning so widely, looking up for a challenge. 

 

"Hey, young lords! Want to have some sparring with me?!" She puts down the glass and cracks her bones in her fingers. 

 

'This is not ladylike at all... I should stop her before anything worse than this happens.' He goes to Xian's side, "We're in an annual gathering, Xian. The king and his sons and daughters will arrive shortly. We can't make some scenes." 

 

"Listen to your dog, Lady Xian. He's an all knowing brat, so get out of our sight." A young lord rolls his eyes. 

 

"How are your brothers, by the way? Don't you know that the real heir to your father's business is him?" She smiled evilly. 

 

"... What?!" 

 

"You thought he's the bastard. That's why you've been mistreating your brother but oh heavens, I heard that your mother was pregnant with you when your father decided to marry her. It was all forced so you can have a father." She laughs maniacally, "You're the bastard!" 

 

"Xian... That's enough..." Jayen holds her arm. 

 

"I've been silent the whole time you are getting harassed by these people because you don't want to disappoint your parents. But I can't help it if you're being degraded like that." She says, gritting her teeth in anger. 

 

His eyes widened and tears up, "The fact that you're getting trouble for me is enough... But can we retreat for now?" 

 

Xian looks at him for a moment then sighs, "alright. Let's go." 

 

"I... I was that confident about what I believe in?" Arete's eyes widened more. 

 

Jayen laughs and covers her eyes, "your eyes will hurt, idiot." 

 

"But... Han and Lobin told me we changed the time we entered the academy? It seems like we're still fine when young." 

 

"Oh.. They meant, we changed after we came across the laboratory dungeon of the academy and became one of the people who does it." 

 

"Laboratory and dungeon combined... place?" 

 

"Yes." 

 

"That sounds horrifying..." 

 

"Since I'm competing with Han for being the top student in the academy, passing my paper about that place, they gave me an access to study about the reconstruction of it. Well, I got addicted to the feeling of having power." His eyes turned emotionless. Hard for Arete to read. 

 

"That's why you started inhumane tortures?" 

 

"It's... Beside that one." 

 

"Oh.. That's why you told me you valued people's opinions about you? Because you still hold the title of being the future head of your family?" Arete touches his arm to comfort him. 

 

"Mn. Even though I reached the point where everyone feared me for what I'm going to do, it's still empty." 

 

"Is it because you didn't do it the right way?" 

 

"I did though. Even if Han came to our lives, I still became their guide. And it's tiring. It's repetitive. They're using you to their benefits. They're pulling strings to make you obey." Veins popped out on his temple despite having a calm voice, "I became faithful to the academy. I became their puppet to attain power." 

 

"You don't gain respect when you're good so... You went the other way..." She looks down. 

 

"Do you feel sad for me, Xian?" 

 

"Yes... Yes, I do." 

 

"Don't be, Xian." 

 

"But... Everyone around you didn't appreciate your warmth and kindness. They... They're unfair." 

 

"That's how the world works." 

 

"No. I refuse to accept the inequality." 

 

"Inequality exists before time. There's always something above everyone else. There's no in between." 

 

"So we really need to pick sides?" She looks at him. 

 

"Yes. As Arete, whose side will you choose?" 

 

"... Who? What?" 

 

"The demonic cult you're talking about... Maybe they are from the academy itself." Jayen revealed, looking away from Arete. 

 

She gasped in horror. She tries to speak about the manner since she doesn't remember anything from her life as Xian, but all she could make is a choking noise. 

 

"Xian... I'm not sure, but... I think the demonic cult that is appearing in the Sera is from the academy and... the disciples of the underworld." 

 

She looks at him. She can feel her heart being stabbed several times or even ripping it off from her body. The fear of being dead is going back to her. The feeling of that fight with Leruji is going back to her mind, causing her body to shudder. 

 

"Xian?" 

 

"I... I fought with the demonic cult leader..." 

 

"Yes, you told me that. What happened? You seemed scared." 

 

"Well... In that fight, I controlled Koryn using my blood, right?" 

 

"Mm?" 

 

"Then I was able to destroy the little illusion he made in that mountain. I saw Han regenerating his body slowly. I was guided by his magic. I... I don't really know how to use it..." She was in a complete state of panic, "it ended abruptly because someone interrupted but I don't have a chance to win... Because of that, I went to the place of living and death... I... It's... I'm sorry —" 

 

Jayen hugs her tight, "You sounded like you wanted to cry." 

 

"I.. I'm fine. I must be fine. I'm the leader of our group now. I have Crying Sun and guqin... I should be stronger... I..." 

 

"I'm here, Xian..." 

 

"When I saw my other self... I feel like the path of flowers is being prepared... I don't want to die..." She hugs him back, tears slowly forming in her eyes, "I'm not the confident and brave person anymore... I don't have any memories... I don't have any skills that stand out..." 

 

"Why do you keep looking down on yourself? Why do you keep pushing yourself when all you have to do is realize your pacing?" 

 

"I'm the leader this time, Jayen... Last time, it's Han, right? This time, he passed that responsibility on to me... Koryn passed his weapon on me... Lily and Faier looked up to me... I... I shouldn't have been in Sera in the first place." 

 

"Responsibility and misery comes together, Xian..." 

 

"But... I don't have what it takes. I'm basic. Plain! How... How can you still look at me with respect?!" She pulls out from the hug, demanding an answer while crying. 

 

"It's because no matter what kind of soul I'll find... You will always have a high morality. Your old team when you still have your memories as Xian, you commanded them through its victory and loses." 

 

"But... I'm not Xian anymore..." 

 

"You still are. You have your mind, heart, soul and body..." He wipes her tears, "you're still yourself but more principled." 

 

"But I killed someone before I met Han... I... I hurt people to save someone..." 

 

"Sacrifices must be made." 

 

"But... It will kill my light, Jayen." 

 

"Han and I will be your light. We'll try our best to be your guide." 

 

"Why... Why are you so sure about this...? I'm not deserving..." 

 

"You are. But you can't still see it because of your clouded mind. Let it pass and you will appreciate yourself more." 

 

"Will... I..?" 

 

"Yes. You will." 

 

A warm feeling in her heart... Jayen truly cared for her... He's her best friend. 

 

"You're safe with me, Xian... May I touch you?" He asks. 

 

She nodded and the man hugged her tight. He brushes her hair to calm her down. 

 

"Jayen?" 

 

"Hmm?" 

 

"Thank you..." She buries her face on his chest. 

 

"At your service, Xian." 

 

"You will not leave like what you did when I regressed to being a newborn, right?" 

 

"Of course I won't, silly." 

 

"So... You will be in my group now?" 

 

"Yes." 

 

"But... I feel like you have issues with Han..." 

 

"The two of us can fix it but the priority is getting you stronger. Does Han helps you in making your core firm? Because if you want your memories back, both light and dark energy will exist inside your body." He explains while still patting her back. 

 

"What will happen if it won't work?" 

 

"It will destroy the flow system of your life force, causing your body to depend on the strength of your soul alone. Your body systems will close except your nervous system." 

 

"So... You will live mindlessly?" 

 

"Not the whole of it. You will be logical and practical without any capability of having emotions." 

 

"You... Will you teach me about it?" 

 

"If you want to, of course." 

 

"I would love to have another mentor. Especially it's my best friend." She looks up to him, smiling so sweetly. 

 

"You look adorable as Arete, hmm?" He raises his eyebrow, smirking as he teases her. 

 

"I don't remember anything but I know that I look adorable and maybe fabulous." 

 

"Waah... This sudden confidence... I don't know if I should be happy or annoyed." He laughs and pinches both of her cheeks. 

 

"You should be happy! And ow!" 

 

"Your late reactions are cute." 

 

"I said ow!" She punched his stomach. 

 

"Ack —" he backs away from the impact, "Why does it have to be so hard, huh?!" 

 

"Because I already said ow and you didn't stop!" 

 

"You can just repeat it for the third time, you know?!" 

 

They looked at each other for a moment and burst out laughing. Jayen loses composure. Even having a tear on his eye from laughing too much. 

 

"You're getting physical now, Xian." He wipes his tears and tries to calm himself down. 

 

"Did I use music to punish you every time you make a mess?" She asks in between laughs. 

 

"Yes. Koryn will make it stop so I can live for another day." 

 

"Well, you used Lobin's real name comfortably. Did he give you permission?" 

 

"Yeah. Koryn is a nicer name than Lobin." 

 

"But it's his mortal name though." 

 

"I don't care." He shrugged and continued walking, his face became serious, "I'll let you see something. Han and you from the past didn't know about it." 

 

"Then... Why do you want me to know you now as Arete?" 

 

"Hmm... Maybe because there's peace around you?" He smiles warmly, "I miss that." 

 

"Oh..." She looks down, "I still think it's unfair..." 

 

"Because I remember all of it but you don't?" 

 

"Yes..." 

 

"Xian, you always distance yourself from everyone. Carrying the burden of each decision you make, that we can help." 

 

"Maybe because I'm a horrible person." 

 

"No... You just want people to leave right away before they make a choice to leave you." 

 

"But you didn't leave." 

 

"Because we're family." 

 

"Jayen..." 

 

"It's fine... I'm here now..." 

 

Tears formed and she nodded while smiling, "thank you." 

 

"Anytime."