We were all getting to the point where we weren’t moving much in our sleeping bags. My eyelids were getting a bit heavy.

“Marshy, get up for a second,” Kalei said. “I just realized I’m still in my regular day clothes, I’m not sleeping like this.”

Kalei left upstairs again to go to her room, and Marshy dutifully followed her.

Lillia yawned.

“I like Kalei’s house a lot I think,” Oka said. “It’s bigger than I expected, but it’s not stupid big like my house.”

“You have a pool though.” I said.

“Yeah, but Kalei’s got a whole big gym.” Oka said.

“I bet there’s a gym somewhere in your house as well.” Lillia said.

“But it’s not cozy!” Oka said.

“I can’t wait for you to see my new apartment,” I said. “It’s super cozy.”

“Maybe we can do the next sleepover there!” Oka said.

“That’d be fun! Like rotate which house we go to.” I said.

“I wanna see Lillia’s house, too.” Oka said.

“It’s nothing special,” Lillia said. “And you’d have to deal with my little sister.”

“Awww, I wanna meet her!” Oka said. “Then I’ll complete my ‘meeting the Cadence sisters’ collection with you and Nurse Lyla. Does Lyla live with you guys?”

“No, she lives on her own,” Lillia said.

Kalei jumped down the last few steps and landed with a pose. “Night shorts!” She said, gesturing to the sleepwear she’d changed into, a video game t-shirt and dark green/white colored shorts. We nodded and clapped politely.

“Next sleepover when we’re not so tired we should do like a fashion night or something.” Oka said. “Like all of us get cute outfits and show em off like that. I’ve always wanted to do something like that with friends.”

“We can do that one at your place, since you have that big room with all the piles of clothes in it.” I said.

“Oh, true!” Oka said. “Alright, that can be the theme for my house. Oooh, we should have themes for each house we go to! Here can be, I dunno, video games? I get fashion…we’ll figure out the others later.”

Marshy trotted down the stairs and looked at all of us as if he forgot we were there already. We nodded and clapped politely for him too, which he seemed to appreciate.

“Before I get comfy again, we good with the star thing or do we want all the lights off?” Kalei asked. “Do we need the TV back on or anything?”

“I’m good with just the stars,” Oka said. “When I get really anxious like tonight, my eyes get all buggy and light sensitive. I’m still kinda coming down from that. But I get more anxious if I can’t see anything at all, so the stars are nice.”

“That light sensitivity is a thing? I know that feeling!” I said as Kalei got back on the couch under her blankets with Marshy hopping up as well. “Like when everything’s getting too bright, right?”

“Yep,” Oka said.

“Are you good?” Kalei asked.

“Yeah, as long as I know what’s up, like I said, I’m coming down from it.” Oka said. “I’m like, ninety percent down from it, but it still kinda lingers.”

“That stuff must really suck,” Kalei said. “I get wound up sometimes, but I don’t think I’ve ever had anything that messes with my actual sight like that.”

“It can be a big pain, yeah,” Oka said.

I kinda related. By kinda, I mean kinda a lot. I knew I was more the nervous sort, but the stuff Oka talked about with her anxiousness sounded very familiar. I was tempted to look up some of this stuff on 3WMB right away but decided I would later. I only had two panic attacks as far as I knew, one at school and one on the void trip, and both were truly terrible experiences, so I couldn’t imagine what it was like for Oka to be at the point where she knew them well enough to have an estimate of what percent she’d recovered from them.

“But it’s always kind of nice on the come down,” Oka said. “It’s like I’m returning to myself in away. When the fog lifts, it’s just a really nice feeling. I’ve been in that nice feeling for a bit here. Er, sorry if I’m being a downer or anything.”

“I think I could officially classify myself as a jackass with the bureau of jackassery if after everything tonight I was suddenly like ‘no Oka, don’t talk about your stuff, this is just about me,’” Kalei said. “You say whatever you want to say.”

“Alright…” Oka said. “I have to see my doctor this week. Not Diast, my brains doctor. I think…I’m gonna ask if I can change my meds.”

“You mean the Elka medicine?” I asked.

“No, I…take some other stuff too. For my brain business. The worrying and such.” Oka said. “I’ve never really talked about this with you, huh?”

“Tonight’s a good night for conversations like this.” Lillia said. Her voice was really starting to sound groggy, but she was muscling through to stay up with the group.

I was taking a few pills at the time, mainly the daily anti-Elka pills we got after the Fang Moon Web trip, and a monthly pill I took for trans-related reasons. “If you don’t mind me asking, what are the ones you take then outside of the Elka pills?” I asked.

“I take two in the morning that regulate my brain junk better so I’m not all sads and worries.” Oka said. "It might be from those Elka pills too, but they said it wouldn’t affect that…”

"Yeah, after I started taking them I had to talk to Diast for like two hours just for her to say they don't mix with my other pill, the Elka pills have their own like deal that don't interact with others, which is nice." I said.

"Yeah, the no interaction makes me think it's my other pills that are the problem."

“What's wrong with those?” Kalei asked. "If that's not too rude or whatever to ask."

“I dunno, they’re just not working as well as they should, I think." Oka said.

“You did have a panic attack tonight.” Lillia said.

“Right, my meds are supposed to curb those pretty hard.” Oka said. “I just don’t want them to get mad at me about me wanting new ones.”

“You know you best, I’m sure your doctor will be cool with you asking for a change.” I said.

“Just don’t get any that dull the sex drive or Zates will be pissed.” Kalei said. “What? That’s definitely a side effect I read about.”

"She isn't wrong." Lillia said.

“Let’s just move on from that.” I said.

“You’ll thank us later.” Kalei said.

Oka clasped her hands together as she looked up to the ceiling. “I also think…I’m quitting choir.”

“You are?” Lillia asked.

“Yeah, it’s just getting too stressful.” Oka said.

“The play’s not stressful like that, is it?” I asked.

“The play’s hard, but it’s fun,” Oka said. “And I have friends in it. Lillia’s in it! That’s part of our routine. Choir just…it sucks. That won’t stop me from singing, though!”

“You can sing any time for me.” I said.

Oka smiled. “Maybe I’ll just take you up on that offer.”

Kalei adjusted herself on the couch, working up to another thought that she had some difficulty getting out. "Lils," She said. "I forgot there was a thing I had just for you."

"Hm?" Lillia asked.

"I uh," Kalei said. "Since we're both like crushing pretty bad for our, ah, crushes, I thought, I dunno. You know how it helps to have a workout buddy sometimes?"

"I understand it for study purposes at least," Lillia said. "Oka is also my 'buddy' for venting about our crushes as well, do you mean that?"

"We're all kind of talking about our crushes together tonight." I said.

"Yeah, that's what the whole lightning round was about, no?" Oka asked.

"Oaks, Zates, just like stay out of this for me, this is just a me and Lils thing," Kalei said.

"Fiiiine," Oka and I said in unison. Then got really giddy with each other that we accidentally did that.

"Right, so while they're zipping and oohing about each other over there," Kalei said. "So I haven't been texting Nikki as much."

“Are you still texting her?” Lillia asked.

“It kinda…dried up.” Kalei said. “I got really bad at responding.”

“For what reason?" Lillia asked.

“I dunno, we just were bumming each other out,” Kalei said. “That was the vibe I got at least. But like, I was thinking. Since you got a crush, or crushes. I thought we could maybe like inspire each other to like do something. On Monday?"

"Why specifically Monday?" Lillia asked. "And what kind of 'something'?"

"I was thinking..." Kalei said. "I was going to ask Nikki to hang out. Like maybe as a like...date. Thing. Since I'm gay and all. But I might keep it casual and just say a hang out. But I was hoping...that maybe you could have something you were going to do to, so we each make sure we do it? Like workout buddies."

"Hmm," Lillia said. She stroked her chin. "I have been having difficulties scheduling an event with Ko. Maybe...I too could ask her on more of a date-like scenario. If you'll make sure I do."

"I'll back you up," Kalei said. "It's like a workout where one of us doesn't want to and the other is tired but we both kick the other's ass in gear. So you'd...want to do that?"

"If you ask Nikki out on Monday, then I will do the same for Ko." Lillia smiled.

"Sweet." Kalei said. "You're awesome, Lils."

"You are as well." Lillia said.

"Can we jump back in now?" Oka asked. 

"If it's about Ko, I'd rather you didn't..." Lillia said. "I of course understand, but..."

"No, I'm not gonna be rude about Ko even though I totally could be after tonight, I just want to say good luck!" Oka said. "To both of you! I chickened out of asking Zeta out even though I wanted to for a while."

"We talked about that a great deal." Lillia said. "You were lucky Zeta asked you first."

"I still am not entirely sure how I did that." I said.

"Speaking of, Zates, since Lillia and I just decided this, got any secret player tips on asking someone out?" Kalei asked.

"Hmmm," I said. "I just kind of hit the point with Oka where I got scared that if I waited even a second longer, we would never get any farther."

"Awwwww." Oka said.

"I feel that," Kalei said. "I feel that big time about Nikki."

Lillia got out of her sleeping bag and went to the couch.

"Uh, Lils?" Kalei asked as Lillia held out her hand.

"I thought of something that could guarantee our success on Monday." Lillia said. She closed all the fingers on her hand save for one. "Pinky swear that you'll ask Nikki out Monday, and I'll pinky swear that I'll do the same for Ko."

"Yeah, I think that motivates me a lot too," Kalei said. "I pinky swear I'll ask her Monday." The two shook on it, and Lillia returned to her sleeping bag. "Now it feels real."

We were all quiet for a bit. The night was winding down, and all of us were just content and happy to be hanging out like this.

“Guys, I think I’m nodding off a bit,” Oka said. “I might have to do some PMR, but if you guys are cool listening to me breathe kinda deeply, it shouldn’t be too intrusive?”

“What’s PMR?” Kalei asked.

“Progressive muscle relaxation,” Oka said. “It’s a way to help me stay calm and let out some stress and anxiousness.”

“That sounds kind of familiar, I think it was in a book Diast gave me…” I said. “How do you do it?”

“I load up a video online that talks you through it,” Oka said. “You kinda just clench every muscle and de-clench. It’s super chill.”

“I kinda want to try that?” Kalei said. “Would it be super dorky for us to all do that together?”

“I think it’d be kinda neat.” I said. “Like a bonding thing only us four have.”

“Just a heads-up though if we do it, I’m probably gonna be zonked and asleep by the time it’s done.” Oka said. “It really helps me sleep!”

“I’m falling asleep as well,” Lillia said.

“Well, there you have it,” Oka said. “Get any last questions out if you need them from us tonight.”

“I got nothing,” Kalei said. “Let’s…program…ily…relax our muscles? Was it programming?”

“Progressive.” Lillia said, sounding half asleep now.

Oka loaded up a video on her phone and played it for us. The footage was just of nature, so we just shut our eyes and listened as a gentle voice guided us through tightening our muscles and letting go, with one spot at a time. We started with raising our eyebrows, then moved downwards. I was surprised at how tense my body was, and how I could feel great relief immediately just from each clench and de-clench. When the video ended, I was pretty sure Oka and Lillia were already asleep. I felt incredibly calm and yawned a lot, but was still awake.