“Master.” Hilda warned.

“Right, sorry.” Etrius apologized as it crossed it’s arms.

“I’m- uh. Me?” Iris asked, flustered.

“I don’t see any other cute young ladies around here.” She smiled, stopping in front of Iris with her hand outstretched. “The name is Kira.”

“I’m Iris…” She said, taking a step behind Etrius.

“How about the two of us go out to chat?” Kira asked.

“She’s twenty-two.” Etrius said.

 

Once more, Etrius was in an elvish world where the average lifespan reached hundreds of years. Iris and her children, who were half elves, could live for just as long, as long if there was no accident. Given the common attitude among elves, Iris was still a child. In some places, she wouldn’t be able to rent a room at an inn or even order food alone. Luckily for her however, this was the frontier of an admittedly backwater throne world where even children could work. Upon hearing this, Kira made a ninety degree turn to face Hilda to reintroduce herself.

 

“The name is Kira.” She smiled as if nothing happened.

“Greetings.” Hilda bowed, almost falling forwards as she did so. “I am Hilda. Head maid of master’s maids. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

“How about you and I go out for some drinks after your shift?” Kira suggested.

“I’m sorry but I like men.” Hilda apologized.

 

Several men stood up.

 

“Sit down.” Etrius said.

 

Reluctantly, they did so.

 

“We don’t need to do anything but talk.” Kira insisted.

“I’m sorry, but I’ll have to decline.” Hilda said.

“Right, well sorry for the interruption.” Kira smiled backing away.

 

Glancing to it’s side, Etrius saw Touya looking dissatisfied.

 

“What? Not even going to ask me?” Touya muttered to herself.

 

Hearing this, Kira turned and looked at Touya’s boobs. Judging them to be too small, she shook her head.

 

“Master, can I hit her?” Touya asked, raising her fist. “Just once.”

“Keep your hands to yourself.” It said.

“No, it’s fine.” Kira said.

“Go wild.” It gave permission.

 

Getting in a proper stance, Touya brought her fist back and with all her power took a swing at her Kira.

 

“Take this!” She shouted as she punched her stomach.

“…pft!” Kira covered her mouth, trying not to laugh.

“Master!” Touya came crying. “She laughed at me! I hit her as hard as I could and she laughed at me!”

“There there.” Etrius patted her head.

“I’m not weak, I’m strong!” She said.

“Ah-” Kira tried not to laugh. “I’m sorry…”

“I’m the enforcer! I need to be strong!” She cried. “I wanna hit people so they fall over in pain! I want them to piss themselves and have trouble breathing!”

“I feel you.” Etrius said.

“Hehe- you can try again…” Kira said. “If you want.”

“She’s mocking me!” She accused. “I want to hit her but it won’t hurt! Master hit her for me!”

“Alright, fine.” Etrius sighed.

“Wait, I don’t-” Kira paled as she took a step back. “Let’s talk this out!”

“Just once, please bear with it.” Etrius said.

“Actually I got to go- Oohhough!?” Before she could finish, Etrius’ fist found her ribs. As the air left her lungs, she bent over.

 

Slowly falling to her hands and knees, Kira used one hand to hold her chest and took a deep breath as tears filled her eyes. 

 

“Ohhooo.” Unable to even say anything, she simply breathed through her mouth not caring about the drool that came out.

 

Her eyes were unfocused and each breath was labored. Rolling onto her back, all she did was breath without caring for anything else. Her head fell onto the wooden floor and she tried to get more air into her lungs. Turning from her, Etrius faced Touya.

 

“Was that good enough?” Etrius asked.

“Master, please teach me how to punch people!” Touya begged. “When I hit people I want that to happen to them!”

“I can teach you but you need to develop your muscles first.” It said.

“I’m strong! I can lift three chairs in each hand!” She said.

“I get it, but have you ever actually punched anyone before?” It asked.

“I have.” She nodded. “I punched our previous master on many occasions whenever he asked to sniff my feet.”

“Who was this guy?” Etrius couldn’t help but ask.

“He already exploded, so I don’t care!” She said. “Teach me to punch people!”

“Maybe some other time. We are a bit busy at the moment.” Etrius said.

“Master please! I’ll let you sniff my feet!” She pleaded.

“No! I wouldn’t sniff them even if you asked me to!” It said.

“Please!” She pleaded, pulling on its clothes. “I want to hit people!”

“Stop it!” It said. “I’ll get you a teacher, so just stop it!”

“Thank you!” She said, burying her face into Etrius’ chest as she hugged it.

“Kids these days…” Etrius sighed, patting her back.

“Master, we aren’t kids.” Hilda pointed out.

“You are to me.” Etrius said.

 

Coming from a back room, the clerk returned with Iris’s Id in hand.

 

“Sorry for the wait-” His eyes landed on Kira who was on the floor breathing heavily in pain. Seeing that no one was dead, he turned his attention back to Etrius and Iris. “I checked with our records and it states that the party that this Id was registered with has been suspended and all ranks and achievements have been nullified.”

“Is that so?” Etrius asked before turning to Iris. “Do you want to re-register?”

“Um…” Iris looked troubled. “W- what should I do?”

“We aren’t troubled for money, but it might be good work experience for you.”

“I know but…” Iris hesitated.

 

It was hard work for her to rank up and now if she re-registered, she would be back at the bottom.

 

“If it makes you feel any better we can form a party together.” It said.

“Can we?’ She asked hopeful.

“Of course.” It gave her a reassuring smile.

“Can we do that?” She asked.

“Yeah.” Etrius took out it’s Id. “Can you upgrade this to a proper membership?”

“Yes, although there will be a fee to do so.” The clerk said.

“Got it.” Etrius nodded. “Also, for ordering the other Ids, do you want me to pay now or is that separate?”

“If you’re able to, we can handle them all together.” He said.

“Then let’s do that.”

“Alright, here is your receipt. We can have your new cards ready by tomorrow.” He said. “Is there anything else you would like to do?”

“Yes, I would like to make a request for a teacher for combat. Rather just self defense and preferably hand to hand.” It said.

“Understood. How much would you like to offer for it, how long, and how many teachers do you need?”

“Let’s do it for a week at a time and for now just one teacher. As for the amount, how much would you recommend?” It asked.

“Well that depends…” He started.

 

After a bit of back and forth, the request was successfully placed. With their business done at the guild, they headed back to the convoy of maids as Kira had just about managed to find her way to her previously occupied table and lay face down. Etrius still wanted to do some shopping, however since it had been away for long enough, it decided that it should at least show itself back with the others. Not only that, but it wanted to get opinions from everyone as to what they wanted for dinner.

A short walk later, they soon arrived. Many of the maids were hard at work, setting up camp, with others cleaning up the nearby streets. As for Iris’ kids, they were playing with Pepper as Haley watched over them. Seeing them approach, she bowed.

 

“Master. Lady Iris.” Haley greeted. “Welcome back.”

“We’re back.” Etrius said.

“Hi.” Lily waved.

“I’m hungry.” Violet said.

“So.” Etrius started. “Any suggestions for dinner?”

“I want cake!” Rose said.

“Well, we did just arrive in town, so it would be nice to celebrate.” Etrius said.

“Master, I’m afraid that we have no oven or time to make any cakes.” Hilda said.

“We can buy them since it’s on such short notice. And if we can’t find them, we can make some cookies.” It said.

“Understood.” She bowed.

“So, any suggestions for dinner?” It asked. “Also, would you mind getting volunteers to help me in bringing desserts from nearby stores.”

“Understood.” Touya bowed.

“So, any-” Etrius started.

“Can you make us something we haven’t had before?” Iris cut it off.

“I suppose I can do that.” Etrius nodded, before turning to Hilda. “Are you interested in learning any new recipes?”

“If we have the ingredients for it, yes.” Hilda answered.

“Cool.” Etrius nodded. “I hope you are ready to learn what spaghetti is.”

“Sounds sinister.” Haley said.

“Far from it.” It said. “We don’t need to start right away, but let’s do some prep work.”

“Understood.” Hilda agreed.

As it did so, Etrius focused its attention on its other form far away. Walking down the hall of the castle, Etrius’ child form headed to the mailroom of the castle. It’s objective was simple. Today, an urgent letter from one of the outlying regions about a special visitor to the throne world. Something that needed to be delivered to the local queen immediately. With it’s own letter in hand, Etrius opened the door. Inside was a single worker sorting the incoming mail. Hearing it enter, he looked up for only a moment.

 

“Outgoing?” He asked.

“Um, yes.” Etrius answered shyly, holding it’s letter with both hands.

“In the green box then.” He said turning back to his work.

“Yes.” Etrius nodded and then spoke hesitantly. “Do you have any spare stamps?”

“Yes, give me one moment.” He sighed.

 

Standing up, he moved to the far end of the room to a cupboard with various boxes. As he did so, Etrius moved to the desk and picked up a letter with a red wax seal on it with a lord’s seal on it. After a single glance, Etrius consumed it with it’s black sand. Once it was done, it resumed holding onto it’s own letter with both hands. After a moment, the elf returned and gave Etrius a single stamp.

 

“Thank you.” Etrius bowed.

“Yes yes, hurry up.” The elf said, continuing his job. “It’s late.”

“Right.” Etrius said, quickly applying the stamp.

 

Once done, Etrius looked carefully at the stamp as if to be sure that it wouldn’t move. Once it was sure that it wouldn’t it placed the letter into the green outgoing box. Thanking the mail clerk once more, Etrius left the room. Having successfully destroyed the letter, Etrius walked back to the bunk room it’s been staying in. Luckily for it, no one seemed to care that one day a new, young maid started working here with no one so much as even knowing it’s name. She was popular because she was small and cute, although a bit clumsy. Who cares what she just suddenly appeared? Besides who would pretend to be a maid for the odd queen of a backwater throne world?