Part 4
Izayoi let out an enormously pessimistic sigh as soon as the cafe door closed behind him. He briefly checked his watch before sighing again.
Two hours.
Two hours of answering stupid questions like 'do you know this person', 'how long have you known this person', 'do you know where we might locate this person'.
Sometimes the officers interviewing him would change things up a bit, make it sound as though he was just as guilty, if not more so with questions like 'what do you feel when you see a pretty girl', 'if we looked underneath the table, would we be shocked by what we find', 'is this some ploy to throw suspicion off of you about being a shameless, good for nothing pervert and creep'. There was the occasionally veiled threat of 'you would do well to confess now if you share any similar beliefs, withholding anything will only hurt you later'.
Such a regretful experience. Not worth the effort.
Izayoi turned the corner and felt compelled to let out another exasperated sigh.
"What the hell was that?" Came another voice. Izayoi found Matsuda leaning against the wall, arms folded. He wanted to punch him in the face for causing so much trouble, but his body was still fatigued from the last two hours.
Instead…
"Sorry my guy, but if you will leave yourself open like that, I have to take advantage."
Matsuda’s disappointment didn’t fade. “You could’ve gotten me in serious trouble back there.”
“Whatever happened to ‘if it’s my time, it’s my time’?”
“But that wasn’t my time! I haven’t even done it with a cute girl yet!”
“You haven’t done it with any girl yet.” Matsuda furrowed his brow and pulled an annoyed face. “Come on, we should probably get out of here before the Obscenity Institute drags your pervy ass to jail.”
“I can’t believe you just did that,” Matsuda complained as they started walking again.
“Serves you right for doing something like that out in the open."
"Hmph."
"Whatever. Can we please just get to the hanging out part of ‘hanging out’?”
“Sure. But first I wanna check out this new store that opened up. Supposedly they have some really cool stuff.”
“Might as well. Anything’s better than answering questions.”
*
“Seriously?” Izayoi couldn’t believe his eyes. “Have you lost your mind?” Various kinds of sexy lingerie hung on the walls. Pocket pussies of all shapes and sizes, along with dozens of adult memorabilia decorated the shelves of the store.
"Hey Izayoi, which of these do you think would feel better?" Matsuda held up two flesh lights as though it was the most normal thing in the world to do, cementing the fact that he not only didn’t have any shame, but very few brain cells.
“We can’t be in here.”
“Relax. Look around. Pick something you like.”
Izayoi would if ninety-nine percent of the merchandise up for sale wasn’t totally illegal.
Being in possession of pornographic material…seven years.
Buying sex toys without a valid marriage certificate and a qualified sex therapist’s prescription…fifteen years.
No. There was nothing even remotely relaxing about this place.
"Look, the label says this is supposedly a perfect mold of Yukio Hanabana but I don't know. It looks kinda small, don't you think?" Izayoi faltered at Matsuda practically shoving the thing in his face. "I always imagined her pussy to be bigger.” Matsuda inspected the pocket pussy by twisting and turning it over in his hand, studying it from every angle.
“I don’t care. I’m getting out of here.” Izayoi turned to leave.
“Hey! Wait! Just a few more minutes!”
Izayoi ignored the cries and left the store, transitioning into a power walk to get as far away from the crime scene as possible.
“Hold up!” Izayoi didn’t, but he did slack his pace a little. “Look around. This place is deserted. The Obscenity Institute has no clue this place exists. Heck, nobody knows this place exists.”
“Or maybe they do and they just don’t want to be arrested.”
“A few more minutes won’t hurt.”
“You’re welcome to all the minutes them.”
“Don’t be like that. I genuinely thought you’d like it.”
“You did, did you? You thought I’d like enjoy standing at the gates of hell paying for a mold of some seductress’ vagina?"
"Excuse you! Yukio is still very much a virgin!" Izayoi wanted to slap Matsuda for choosing to focus on that part of his complaint, but instead just decided to leave at even quicker pace.
“Hey! Where are you going?”
“Home. You’ve wasted enough of my day.”
“It’s barely dark out. We can still hang out.”
“I have work I have to do tomorrow. Besides, sleeping sounds a heck of a lot safer than gallivanting with you.”
“I know! Let’s try and find one of those adult clubs!”
“Good night, Matsuda!”
“Come on! Don’t be like that.”
“Happiness through efficiency,” Izayoi began to chant under his breath. “Efficiency through procreation. Decadence is prohibited. Decadence leads to independence. Independence leads to disorder. Disorder leads to displeasure. Displeasure leads to despondency.”
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Yes, very much so. Votes: 25 100.0%
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No, not quite there yet. Votes: 0 0.0%
LOL!
So much for that. Bet Izayoi didn't count on needing to answer so many questions. You ruined your own day, if you ask me.
...and he didn't even get the maid pu**y.
Let this be a lesson young men reading this: Don't try to be a hero in front of us cute girls. It ends badly.