Stephanie started to stir... she could feel she was still laying on the ground, and her left leg was cold and wet - but oddly it didn’t hurt even a little bit.   I must have blacked out, she thought, drowsily. Why don’t I hurt?

 

She must have accidentally said the last bit out loud, because the next thing she heard was a sultry female voice say “Because mom healed it?” followed by a nervous laugh.  The weird thing was that the voice said the words like Andrew would have - but sounded totally different.  What the hell is going on?!  Stephanie fought to get her eyes open - and blinked back a bit of pain as the slowly setting sun shone through the branches of the Black Forest into her eyes.   She was prone - and the strange woman holding her was wearing a pastel blue track-suit - and was surrounded by five very familiar wood-sprites.

 

“Andrew?  Andrew - is that you?”  She asked, still shocked and astonished.  If that was Andrew, he - no, she - was about a half foot shorter, two hundred pounds or so lighter, and a hell of a lot more girly looking than an hour ago.   “What the hell happened to you?”

 

“Uh...  Mom thought I’d like this better, so... I guess its Alley now.  Short for Alexandra.”  Alley said, nervously praying her girlfriend didn’t freak out on her. 

 

Steph sat up, still confused.  “Is that why my leg doesn’t hurt too?”

 

“Yeah - she healed you too, hon.”  Alley said.  “She gave me some gifts, and left - so I came to see how you were doing.”

 

Stephanie was still floored.   Of all the people to get sex-changed...why him?  Why didn’t she change me too, dammit?  Steph felt a bit guilty at her surge of jealousy and realized how worried Andrew – or Alley – must be.  “Are you going to be okay, honey?”  Steph asked the newly made Alley.

 

“I guess so.  With some help from you I’ll be fine...  You will help me, right?”  Alley begged.

 

Stephanie groaned, both from being tired and at how unfair the universe was.   I pray for something like what just happened to my boyfriend for my entire damn life, and he gets it out of the frigging blue, and now I have to help him adjust.  Fuck my life.   “Yeah, Alley is it?  I’ll help.”

 

“Sweet!”  Alley said, helping Stephanie up.  “Uh - you might need to help Billy – he’s pretty much toast.”

 

“He died!?”  Steph exclaimed.  “Holy crap - I guess he did.  I thought he was a super tough warrior.”   She looked at Billy’s armless corpse.  It was a bit morbid, but she thought he looked peaceful.

 

“He was - and still is, Ma’am.”  Thorn said, interrupting.  “Einherjar train for battle every day of their eternal afterlife.  There are no better warriors save the gods and spirits themselves in the nine worlds.   He was taken by surprise and killed by a sneak attack - take heed that it doesn’t happen to you and Alley.  The wolf obviously attempted to take out the strongest combatant as soon as it could, hoping to pick the two of you off after the initial shock wore off.   Billy and I might not get along, but his skills are prodigious and deserve respect.”

 

“And I can fix this?”  Steph asked.  “Jurin said I could heal him by offering him food and drink!  Do we have any MREs left, Andrew... I mean Alley?”

 

“Yeah – I’ve got some.  Let me get them.”  Alley dug through her napsack and found two MREs and opened one up, and grabbed a canteen of water, handing them both to Stephanie.   The MRE looked like a bag of Chicken Cacciatore, a few cookies, butter, peanut butter, crackers, salt, pepper, coffee, powdered mashed potatoes, and a wet nap, plus a few other things.   “Yum?” she said, offering them to Steph.

 

“If it works, I don’t care it if tastes like Sandra’s tuna casserole.”  Steph laughed.   Sandra was one of her and Andrew’s old neighbours in the building they moved out of when they started this crazy quest - and her poor cooking skills were legendary in the building - just as was her reputation for trying to foist new concoctions off on unsuspecting neighbours to test out the recipes.   The current joke was that she was secretly working to create new biological compounds for the pharmaceutical companies.  

 

Steph took the food and water, and dangled it over Billy’s corpse, while holding the Dog tags in her other hand.  I hope this works, she thought.   Let’s do this.  “Billy Kincaid!” she said in a strong voice.  “Get your butt off the ground and come get something to eat and drink!”

 

Billy’s corpse shifted - and she realized he wasn’t alive - not yet... Instead his severed arm crawled back across the ground, and reattached itself to his torso, and color slowly refilled his body.  His horrible wounds sealed, and soon his chest was rising and falling as he breathed.  He coughed, and spat up something Stephanie couldn’t identify and didn’t really want to, and crawled to his feet.  “I’m up... I’m up...  By Vidar’s balls, that hurt.”  He said.  “Did you guys make it?”  He brushed the dirt and blood out of his eyes, to see Stephanie looking relieved - and a new girl in a blue tracksuit and no shoes standing with her.  “Who’s the cutie?  And where’s your boyfriend?  Did he make it?”

 

Alley stifled a laugh.  Cutie! Awesome!  “Right here, Billy.  Mom thought this was an improvement.”

 

“Damn, she does good work.”  Billy said, smirking.  “Nice.”

 

“Stop ogling my boyfriend, dammit.”  Steph said snarkily.  “Seriously, he’s been a girl less than 10 minutes and you’re already thinking about making a play for him - I mean her?”

 

“Well, unless you’re offering I don’t see a problem.  If she says no, then I take no for an answer.  Doesn’t mean I can’t ask.”   Billy said with all seriousness.   “She’s cute, you’re cute. I’m cute.  We could have a really good time if we tried.”

 

Steph just stared, more surprised than angry.  First, the idea that someone as handsome as Billy would find her cute was surprising, and second the idea that he would have no problem whatsoever at bedding someone who was male 10 minutes ago was confusing her too.  Billy is pretty strange, she thought.  But I guess the only thing pissing me off, is that as far as I know I’m still with Andrew... but am I still with Alley?  Oh shit... have I lost Alley?  Her face fell.  “Billy, just stop, please.”

 

Billy looked oddly at her, but stopped.  “Sure thing boss.  Sorry I upset you.”   He took the canteen and proffered food and gobbled it all up cold, even the powdered coffee and mashed potatoes.

 

“Ewww.”  Alley said.  “How can you eat that stuff like that?”

 

“I have to.”  Billy said.  “It’s what was offered to me to bring me back - its magic sustains my body.  If I don’t eat it, I’ll start falling apart and die again... and frankly dying sucks.  I don’t recommend it.   Besides, unless we make a fire and boil some water, if I don’t eat it like this, I won’t eat it at all - and I didn’t think you wanted to spend the night in the woods with no shoes.”

 

“My feet are pretty cold.”  Alley agreed.  “And for now the answer is no, okay?”

 

“Fair enough.”   Billy answered while eating.  It was amusing to see him try and shovel spoons of dry coffee powder into his mouth then take a swig of canteen water to wash it down - and kind of gross at the same time.   They waited a few moments for Billy to finish eating, while the sprites kept watch.  Alley left Stephanie with Billy, and began collecting the gear she and Stephanie had dropped during the battle.

 

“I need to talk to Alley for a minute, Billy.”  Stephanie said.  “Just finish your dinner, and leave us alone till were done, okay?”

 

“Sure thing, boss-lady.”  Billy said.  “I didn’t mean anything by it, you know - I wasn’t trying to piss you off.”

 

Whatever... it doesn’t matter right now, Billy.  I’ll talk to you a bit later about it, okay?”  By the tone of her voice, Stephanie was stressed out and possibly frightened, not angry - terse perhaps, and maybe a bit resigned.   She left her Einherjar, and went to look for Alley.   Her once-boyfriend had cleared up their packs and weapons they had dropped, and was getting them ready to travel. 

 

Stephanie took a good solid look at the new Andrew.  She was cute, to be honest - probably nicer looking than Stephanie ever would look without surgery or magical aid.   Bitch, she thought, sort of jealously but good-naturedly.  And she looked younger, with a totally different build.  She even walked like she was born to it.  Damn, She thought. She’s more girl than I am right now.  Steph felt a jealous tear come to her eye, and she brushed it away.  No, you don’t get to be jealous today, she thought.  It’s still Andrew, and he’s probably confused as hell.  He needs my help - I can be jealous later.  

 

“Hey, Roo?”  She called, using her old nickname for him.  “Can we talk?”

 

I was waiting for this, thought Alley. I hope she doesn’t flip out.  I can’t lose her - I can’t.  “Yeah sure thing, love.”

 

“Are you going to be okay, like this?”  Steph asked.  “I mean, really okay?”

 

“Yeah.”  Alley answered.  “We need to talk later, for sure - but I’ll be okay.  Are we still okay?  You and me?”

 

“I... I want us to be.  Do you want us to be?”  Steph asked.  

 

“Yeah...  I still love you, hon.  I just look different.  It’s still me inside, I think.” 

 

Stephanie breathed a sigh of relief.  Thank god!  She thought.  I don’t know if this will work, but at least we have a chance.  “You’re right, we do need to talk.  Maybe back at the hotel.  Billy’s right - we need to get out of these woods before too much longer.”

 

“You’re worried I don’t love you anymore?”  Alley asked.  “Or do you think you can’t love me because I’m a girl now?”

 

Stephanie brought herself up short.  “No!  It’s not that!” She said, surprisingly violently.  “I love you, either as a girl or a boy – it’s just I wasn’t sure if you were into me anymore.   Your mom might have changed more than your sex - she might have changed your preferences too, you know.”   She sighed, and gave Alley a strong, loving hug.   “I love you.  That’s all there is to it.  I can live with this if you can.  Really.  But we don’t know what this change has done to you, and it might not be safe in the woods.  We know we still love each other - lets table the rest until we get to safe territory, okay?”

 

Alley stiffened a bit in surprise... To be honest, she hadn’t thought of that.  Did I really say ‘no for right now’ to Billy instead of Hell no, not ever!?  Maybe mom did change more than I thought.   “Okay Steph, let’s get going.”   Alley hugged Stephanie back for several seconds, and the two stood there, lost in their own thoughts and grief, together.

 

Eventually they broke apart and came back to the site of the battle.   Billy and Thorn and Rose were discussing the bands next move, while Stump, Thistle and Petal were watching the two lovers.  

 

“Is everything okay, Mistress Alley?”  Petal asked.

 

“It is for now, Petal.”  Alley said.  “If I can’t handle this,” she said, motioning to her whole body, “is there a way to change back?”

 

“Yes, mistress, but it takes a great deal of training to achieve.  Perhaps months or even years if you’re not talented at it.  You might want to find a way to deal with it for now – you’ll probably be like that a long time.”  Petal looked truly upset at the idea of her mistress being unhappy for that long a time.  

 

“Just knowing there’s a way makes me feel a lot better.  Don’t worry about it, Petal.”  Alley said, smiling.  “What are those three up to?”

 

“They’re trying to decide what we should do next, mistress.”  Stump answered.  “Probably deciding if it’s worth finding Greyfang’s lair anywhere nearby.   Sometimes magical beasts like him keep treasures - and if he did, they’re yours by right.  Better you two have them then some random other guy who finds his den.”

 

Stephanie laughed... Oh my god, she thought.  We’ve become RPG characters.  Were looting the bad guys before we keep going in the adventure.  Oh my fucking god...  At least it wasn’t rats in the basement, for Pete’s sake.  Stephanie laughed a little hysterically, until Alley was able to get out of her why she was laughing - and soon they were both laughing a little hysterically.   Alley broke it up first, with “I call first dibs!”

 

Steph laughed, and said “Fine, but I get first dibs on my quest.  Fair is fair, after all.”

 

By the time the two of them stopped their little laughing fit, Billy and the other sprites were with them.  “Feeling better you two?”  Billy asked.

 

“Actually, yeah - I think so.”  said Stephanie. 

 

“Good.  Thorn found a trail which he thinks leads to Greyfang’s lair.  I suppose the others told you there might be treasure.  We can either go there and see - and maybe get back to town by dawn - or head back now, and try and come back tomorrow and hope we find this place again.”

 

Alley nodded.  “What do you recommend, Thorn?”

 

“Mistress, I recommend we go now.  I have the trail, and one storm could wash it away forever.  If we get back late, take a day or two or three and rest up - you both deserve it.  You’ll need to buy clothes too, so you won’t be going anywhere soon without preparations.  Besides, if there are any treasures, they might help you in your next trial – Stephanie’s cave in Norway.”

 

“If it’s any help, boss, I agree with the little guy.”  Billy said.  “Tonight is better.  We still have a little light - if we hurry we can get to his lair, and maybe even back here by the time full dark falls - and we can use Alley’s sprites and the flashlights I packed to find our way back to Biederbach.  Better to get it done that risk losing it by delaying.”

 

Stephanie considered both Thorns and Billy’s advice.  “Can we really, really turn down looting our first treasure hoard?  We’d have to turn in our official RPG gamers card.”  She said, joking - there was no such thing, but the principle mattered.  “I think we should at least look and see if there’s something there.”

 

“Yeah, true.”  Alley agreed.  “We should look.”  Alley couldn’t deny she was incredibly curious about the wolf’s lair. 

 

“Then we should go mistress Alley.”  Thorn said.  “Follow me.”

 

“Whoa, chief.”  Billy said, grabbing his knife and hacking out a number of teeth from Greyfang’s corpse.  “Have you told them about trophies - cause I’ll bet these teeth are special, with a name like Grayfang.”

 

Stump answered for the sprites.  “Um... trophies are like bits of dead monsters - skin, or scales, blood, eyes, fur - stuff like that - that have magical properties.  They’re usually one or two uses before they’re used up, but they can really help turn the tide if the power they give is useful.  We’ll probably be teaching you all about it soon - but Billy’s right, the teeth might be helpful.  It’s good to grab some if you think they’ll help out.”

 

“A lot of scions carry a cooler with icepacks.”  Said Rose.  “Cause dead body parts either have to be dried, or they start to um... smell bad.”

 

“Eww.”  Alley said.  “Gross.”

 

“Maybe.”  Billy said.  “But when using one of these gross trophies saves your life or Stephanie’s I’ll bet you’ll change your tune.”

 

“Until then, then.”  Alley said.  “You got what we need?”

 

“I’ll take that to mean the trophy, cause I promised Steph to stop talking about the other thing.”

 

Alley blushed as she realized what Billy was actually talking about.  “I meant the trophy.”

 

“Oh, in that case, yeah - I got it right here.”  He said, patting his chest pocket.  “We’re good to go.”

 

“Good.”  Stephanie said.  “Cause I’m starting to regret summoning you.”

 

Billy laughed.  “I’m hurt.”  He said, kind of joking.  It was obvious he didn’t take her comment seriously.   “I won’t mention it again.”

 

The eight of them walked off deeper into the Black Forest, following Thorn as he led them to Grayfang’s lair.

 

*              *              *

 

 

When the group of them got to the lair, they found it to be a rather smelly, sour cave opening in the lee of a great fallen tree - the stump had heaved up as the tree fell, leaving a large cave like hole beneath its stump and boughs, widened by the huge wolfs tunnelling.   It stank of wet fur and earth.   The two women and their guides looked at the dirty, gross hole.

 

“Don’t look at me, Alley.”  Steph said, laughing.  “You called dibs - you get to go inside first.”

 

Alley stuck her tongue out at Stephanie, and gave a quirky “Harumph.”  A few moments later, she was climbing down and inside.  Stephanie and Billy followed - the sprites, with their better night vision, waited outside.   As the three climbed down the hole, it was apparent that Grayfang like bones.  There were deer bones, bear bones, and human bones - amongst other smaller bones of vermin and other animals.  It was obvious the creature they had killed had had a prodigious appetite.  

 

It was soon equally obvious that he didn’t much believe in treasure.   They found a strange trio of trinkets - an amulet of a dancing monkey make of brown jade, its leather thong long since eaten or rotted away, and an ebony wand capped with a silver skull, which oddly didn’t look chewed on like all the other bones in the cave.  Alley also found a small medal with a scrap of ribbon shaped like a German cross, which she put in her pocket, figuring it might be important.  There was also a pair of rusted helmets with teeth marks and bite marks that looked like they belonged to World War II vets. 

 

Maybe they had, Alley thought.  “It looks like this is all there is.  Let’s get it bagged, and get out of here.  My feet are cold, and these bones really hurt to walk on.”

 

“Good.  It’s time to go anyway – it’s getting late.”  Billy said.

 

The three of them climbed out of the cave, with their interesting trinkets held in Alleys bag, and began to make their way back to Biederbach.   The trip was long and arduous - but the largest predator in the region was dead.  Nothing bothered them - and they arrived around 11pm, tired and exhausted and footsore.