It’s been a week since Luo Feng had arrived in China. 

He needs to join today. Luo Feng was filled with a myriad of emotions inside him as he checked and found his tie is a problematic one. It’s been like this since his birth. Tie sure is a demon cloth. 

 He sighed and began his final attempt. If this is also fucked up, then he did rather go without a tie. 

The night shift ends in 6:00 am and the day shift will start at 6:30 am. However, when there is a new doctor joining, a welcoming ceremony will be held in this half an hour time. Its a rush hour time in hospital, Doctors leaving and arriving.

 It’s understandable that the time schedule in walnut hospital is very strict. Afterall it’s a famous VIP hospital only for the richest. Every single patient here is a millionaire if not a billionaire. But the requirement for doctors is fame and experience. No money can get people to work here, even as a cleaning staff. 

After the welcoming ceremony, Luo Feng officially became a member of Doctors’ Panel. He showed a satisfied smirk on his handsome face looking at his new, big consultation room. 

‘Really… worthy to be called #onlyrich-hospital.’

There are 26 buildings here. Each with 14 floors. Of which 7 buildings are patients’ rooms. Another 7 buildings are test rooms with each of the abovementioned having one exclusively for them. 3 buildings are doctors’ personal consultation room like the one Luo Feng have and the remaining 9 is casualty, office, walnut bank, two critical ICUs and a public hospital. 

Luo Feng’s patient arrangement is already decided but he can still try to apply for an area himself. If other doctors unanimously agree, everything is set. Luo feng was sure that those old men will surely give him face as long as he asked them.

But he felt his courage run dry when it was time. It was always like this. When it comes to ‘HIS’ matters, he was always a coward. 

He looked at the thick books about the detailed descriptions and photos of the patients in his building. He is in afternoon shift and the original doctor is in morning shift. It was clear that his comrade doctor is glad to see him sharing the workload. 

Luo feng looked at his shaky hands and opened a book with much difficulty and began flipping through the catalogues in each book. The books are in yellow, orange and red covers indicating early, middle and late stages of cancer respectively.

He began endlessly murmuring; ‘god please, please don’t be him.’

Yet, contrary to his fears, he finally saw the name he doesn’t want to see most, especially in a patient record book.

‘WEN XIAN’

Luo feng felt his bones go stiff. His throat dry and heart pounding like crazy. He pressed his cold hands in his chest and arduously breathed in. 

He couldn’t gather a bit of courage to look further. 

Luo feng had treated all types of brain cancer patients before. He was brave, rational and never failed to judge a situation. However, those were strangers. They were only patients to him. But when it comes to Wen Xian, his ex-boyfriend, things are completely differently.

A man once he loved and the one who he still loves… 

When it comes to Wen Xian, he has only a phrase to describe him

- ‘An unfaithful bastard’.

Luo Feng’s love story was simple. No love at first sight, no enemies to lovers, or any kind of dramatic plot. 

He simply made a post about him in the LGBT+ forum during his studies in Beijing University. He had earlier known the fact that he was gay. As a law-abiding citizen, he only bared his claws when he was over 18. As he has no family to come out to, he was very cool about it. The famous rich second generation of the Wen Corporation, Wen Xian then asked him out for a date after a few days. Luo feng was rich in his own right with various competition medals and scholarships at his disposal. So, he didn’t even hesitate and readily agreed. The two, one study god and one male god got to know each other better with passing time and both of them proposed to each other by the end of the next semester. And thus, they became one of the known BL couples who led to the birth of many BL fanfics in their university and a rather huge FENGXIAN fandom.

There was even a thread debating whom is top and bottom among them. Their dilemma was understandable as both the male leads look way too manly. Not like those sassy bottoms and overbearing tops in dramas. 

They understood each other very well. When Wen Xian came out to his parents, no big waves were produced like many predicted. Father Wen and Mother Wen, just accepted it, calm and cool. 

When he went to see them, he was very happy for Wen Xian to tears. Just the time they managed to find for him every day since childhood despite their busy schedules is enough proof for their love towards their son. Everything was just wonderful until…

Luo Feng slowly skimmed through the pages and reached Wen Xian’s page. This is a book with general information about patients.

He saw Wen Xian’s before and after results.

Luo feng remembered one thing. Wen Xian was a star lover. He loves to look into the starry sky together with him. Lying on his back, talking about life while counting stars… It was one of the daily quality time they spent since they were together. 

His goal was an achievement in Astrophysics. 

“Xiao feng. If we die together like in that tv drama, won’t we become stars and blink to each other?”

“You feel it is funny? There won’t be a star love story to say if we are far from each other.”

“Aii. God is merciful.”

“AMITHABHA”

“Pffft hahaha”

Luo Feng ran his cold, shaky fingers through one of the photos. 

The young man had lost the burning spirit he had in those years. His eyes looked dull and lifeless. Not a glimmer of hope is seen. His head is free without a single hair. His skin darker than before. The left side of his face is unbearable to watch. They had lost symmetry. It’s frighteningly caved in with several stitch marks and burns like those alien cartoon pictures he had seen when he was young.

Luo Feng had seen bigger than this. But…

His lungs felt dry. Every inhale fill scorching air inside his wind pipe and suffocate him.

Why??

This is the question every family member of the patient asks themselves. That despair when they witness the suffering of their dear ones…  

Luo feng too had been unable to focus at first in UK. Gradually, he adapted. He hardened his will and drew a line between personal and work affairs. 

It was not that difficult back then. But now…

Luo Feng looked into the bright sky. He saw the silhouette of a young man with dead eyes and asymmetrical head. He was like a star even glimmering in stinging day light, searching for darkness. 

No, he looked like a….

Deformed star!!.......

……in the sky. 

___________

To be continued......