The Clumsy Goddess

Oof, let’s take stock of the current situation. I’ve become a girl. I’m in an unfamiliar location. My best friend is with me, and insists I’ve become a goddess. Yup, I don’t get it.

Both of us are in new bodies. My friend is still a guy, but I’m not. With how often he’s joked that I’m a goddess in the past (due to some silly things that happened in a game), I’m not about to believe him now, even if becoming a girl makes it closer to true than it used to be. Besides, I tried doing god things and it totally didn’t work. If this were a dream, I should be hovering in the air by now.

The location we’re in looks like a forgotten temple. Vines and moss everywhere, a broken statue that can no longer be identified, and some nice stone benches for an audience to sit. Sunlight shines in through broken windows and I can’t shake the feeling that this place is rather grand. Even if it’s a mess now, I just know it was beautiful once.

“Shall we take a look around, my cute goddess?”

*sigh* give it a rest already… even if I do seem to enjoy being called cute for some reason… gah! I don’t want to think about it. Ignore the idiot, I’m heading out!

Without bothering to reply to my foolish friend, I walked out of the old church to take a look around. The breeze outside felt nice, which was good since my simple blue flared dress was thin enough that it offered no protection. Using one hand to keep my long green hair out of my face (despite the winds best efforts) I looked around and spotted a large lake on the other side of a dirt road. A large tree grew near the lake on this side, and on the other side of the lake, it seemed there was a forest. Sadly, the area was hilly enough that I couldn’t see very far down the road in either direction.

“You totally blushed when I called you cute.”

“...” Not thinking about it, not thinking about it. Stay calm, like that lake… wait what’s happening at the lake?!

“Is that a giant frog?”

“Definitely looks like a giant frog.”

“Are those people fighting it?”

“I think I just saw a fire spell.”

“... I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto.”

“I’m not Toto… and I’m definitely not a dog.”

I giggled. “Of course not.”

“I think I should help. Thank you goddess for your support.” With that he patted my head, stroking my hair a little, and then took off towards the frog.

How is he moving so fast? And why am I smiling? Gah, straight face, this isn’t a smiling matter. He’s rushing to go fight a frog that’s two stories tall. 

I decide to hurry after him. While there’s no reason to believe I can fight, I don’t want to just leave him alone. Why does he think he can fight? Why am I so much slower than him?

“Aaahh!”

I tripped. It was the steepest part of the hill going down to the lake too. I slide, and rolled and finally came to a stop after colliding with something that then fell on me.

“Ah! I’m sorry!”

I totally knocked someone over. Some guy in a robe and wizard hat with a staff. Totally looks like roleplay, except it’s probably real. Even the long white hair looks real, and that… wait no, that totally looks like fake strap-on facial hair. The heck?

“Are you all right?” 

“Ah, yeah, just a little stunned.” That’s a very high pitched voice for a guy.

*boom* Hearing a loud sound so suddenly I looked to where it came from. Did my friend turn into an action game character? He’s got the frog trapped in an aerial chain combo… he doesn’t even play those kinds of games that well! Whenever a challenge in those games required a combo like this, he’d struggle at it! I do not understand this world at all.

“Hey! Get up! Get up!” That’s a new voice. A pretty voice.

Getting up I looked to see who it was. Dressed in white robes she looked quite beautiful with her long blonde hair and… that’s a beard. That’s a long braided beard. I’m getting very confused. 

***Author Note***

I basically just ran out of steam while writing this, and never continued it. It's like a chain of bad jokes, and then I ran out of jokes, and didn't know what to do because I had no actual plot, just a collection of silly ideas. Pretty sure I've restarted this same idea a few times and never gotten anywhere with it. I think this was one of the earliest attempts.