1: The beginning?

My life seems to have finally come to an end. At least, that’s what I was told. Dying in my sleep doesn’t seem too strange, especially with how little I cared for my own health. I do worry about my old friend that will be left behind, but with my life over, there’s little I can do about it. One thing is really confusing me though: The god telling me all this, now says that the being I’m most suited to being in my next life is a Succubus.

Me: I want to love and be loved. How can being a succubus fit with that? Succubi aren't loved!

God: You could make people very happy, and give them a good time.

Me: It's not love though. Pleasure and happiness are nice, but it's really a poor substitute for love. Besides, aren't succubi predators?

God: Not really. In this world, they are just a manifestation of lust. Much like how the anger and wrath of people form into monsters, lust forms succubi. In your case, you'd be the manifestation of all the unrequited love and desire in the world. All that loneliness would become yours to sate.

Me: So, you're really saying I should be a succubus, because it fits what I already am, not because it suits my desires.

God: That is correct. You have an abnormal amount of love for others, which has remained unsated. As such, the form most suited to your nature, is that of a succubi. 

Me: Are you sure you aren't just trying to make me do the work of settling all those regrets for you?

God: I admit, I do need someone to do it. You are the one I've chosen because of your affinity for it. It's not often I find someone who will care about the fate of an entire world the way you do. I know you've always run away from your feelings, this time, I hope you'll accept them, and accept this role.

Me: If I don't, then this job would fall to someone else, right?

God: Yes, and I can guarantee they won't be able to do as good a job as you could. You are... unique.

Me: Broken you mean.

God: Perhaps. In this case, it's for the better. After all, the entire reason succubi are feared, is because of how most people respond to being overwhelmed with lust and love.

Me: They take it by force?

God: They try. It doesn't really end well for anyone involved. There are people who understand love better, but they lack the unquenched desire necessary to become succubi. So the role is usually filled by fools who don't know any better.

Me: *sigh* All right. I'll give it a try. I get the feeling that even if I give up and do nothing, you'll consider that better than what most succubi do.

God: Of course. That's what makes you so special. Even in despair and anger, you continue to restrain yourself from making things worse. No matter what happens, that light within you doesn't die. I've seen others with an undying light before, but none cloaked in so much darkness as yours. Your despair, is perfect for this. Your self-loathing, broken self-esteem, and endless suffering is what makes you suited to being a succubi. Your undying light, is what will keep you sane; just like it always has.

Me: ... are you fetishizing misery?

God: Ah! Sorry, got carried away a bit. I've seen plenty of souls lost to darkness, and plenty protected by their own light. Yet it's very rare to find one who can carry both at once. It's made me a little... excited. Oh, I'm doing it again. Enough, I'll send you on now. Good luck!

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2: A new life?

Waking up, I feel the water of tears in my eyes, running down my face. This pain in my heart… waking up crying… How long has it been since I last had a good cry? Remembering all that I have now lost, all the emotions I’d always kept hidden, the people I’d never see again; I closed my eyes and cried. Cried for all the things I’d failed. Cried for all the people I’d never see again. Cried for all the pain I felt pouring into me. It wasn’t all mine, somehow I knew that. Vague feelings and memories came up as if I was recalling events of other lives. A mother who’s children never returned. A father that lost his family in a fire. Many kinda blurred together; people that all shared common love for various famous idols. The heroes that left broken hearts everywhere they went. 

I don’t know how long I spent crying. By the end of it, my memories felt like a mess. All the names and faces and loves and losses kinda blurred together. Yeah, this, kinda made it easier. It might not be right, but I wiped my face and stood. Letting the details fade, and just keeping a vague feel of who and what I am; I calmed down, and took a look around. 

Standing atop a flat roof, this town looked very familiar. The largest town in the country of Azan; Tyrannia. It wasn’t the capital, it was instead a busy trade town. With a large port, and excellent roads, many goods passed through here. 

I was standing atop a warehouse near the port. Looking out at the ships and the sea, I felt like I’d experienced many a sad goodbye here. Even if these memories weren’t really mine, I still felt them just as strongly as if they were. 

This world is much like the old fantasy tales. A world filled with magic, monsters, and majesty. Though I couldn’t help but think the royalty were terrible. A great many hearts were broken due to how they ruled; both, inside and outside the royal family and nobility.

Monsters I knew of, in part, because they were responsible for so much heartbreak. They were probably among the largest cause of it. However, no specific monster stood out as a main cause. 

My strongest memory, strongest feelings, were all directed at the current hero party. So many loved them and/or desired them. If past succubi were to respond to this by assaulting the hero’s party, or other famous and beloved idols, it would clearly become the cause of the succubi’s infamy. I wouldn’t do such a thing. What I desire cannot be attained in such a manner. Attempting to get close to the party is also a no go. While it might be a wonderful experience, it would be like playing with fire. The infamy of succubi is too great, and the heroes too dangerous.

Then… what should I do? If I just watch, my desire for intimacy will never be met, and my painful feelings will only grow. 

***Author Note***

I'd actually forgotten about this one entirely, until I saw it in my old stuff. I realized I had no idea where to actually go with the story after the initial premise was complete. I still have no idea.