What happens after death has been something mankind has always struggled, yet failed to explain. If you are religious or spiritual you may believe in something like Heaven, Hell, rebirth perhaps.

Others, with a mind for science, would likely say that after death there is nothingness. Believing our minds to be the home of our consciousness.

I'll tell you they are all correct. Yet it's only due to dumb luck. The universe answered to our insignificant whims. Providing us with an end we ourselves find fitting. If you believed in Hell, yet still sinned and believed that you were doomed to damnation, to damnation you went. Self fulfilling in a sense that our end is of our own making. both by our own minds and how we judge our own actions. I guess that's why everyone talks about their life flashing before their eyes. It must be some fashion of self judgement.

How do I know this? Well, I can't really say exactly. It sorta just came to me as i died watching my life flash before my eyes. Like some sort of repressed knowledge that my very being knew to be true was finally remembered suddenly. I just knew it on an instinctual level that I simply could not deny.

This begs the question of what happens to those with more childish notions of life after death held deep in their heart? Well, madness is what happens.

in a sweat I awoke only to see I wasn't at home..where the fuck am I?

All around me I see a never ending expanse of white, I'm on the floor and perfectly fine. Dressed as I remember last. Wait, I remember dying. This memory freeze's me in place as ice fills my veins. I calmed down, closing my eyes, hoping for this to be some dream in a dream. But to no avail. I really did die at a dingy gas station.

I was just unlucky, wrong place, wrong time. Some thugs started firing shots at each other at a gas station I stopped at. I then remember afterwards. How I bled out on the concrete, with nobody around as everyone scattered. I can't say I'm all too choked up about it. Don't get me wrong I wish those wanna be gangbangers dead, but honestly my emotions towards my killers felt dulled. Perhaps it was because I don't even know which one of them shot me. It's kinda hard being mad when I don't have a face to put with the person who did me in.

I don't have a wife and kids relying on me so my death isn't going to compound into more suffering thankfully. I never thought I would be grateful for being so lonely as to not leave a grieving dependant wife and kids. My brothers and father will be pissed I'm sure. But fuck mom she was and is a cunt.

I can also remember as I died and gained the knowledge of why I am here and more importantly where, or rather what here is. This is evidently my personally deepest held wish, for the afterlife. I must have read too many cheesy Isekai stories as a child because I have my very own R.O.B.

Right on cue in a comically scented puff of smoke, said R.O.B appears sitting on a small black couch with a table cluttered with an assortment of odds and ends in front of him.

Rob-" Yo, dude! I'm the god of the high, With a laid-back vibe and a trippy sky, I've got the munchies and a chillin' mood, Come join me, man, let's get in the groove.

So you're a mortal, passed away, But don't be bummed, it's a brand new day, I've got a game, with prizes so dope, In your next life, you'll have the grooviest scope.

Imagine, man, the power to fly, Or surf the waves, under a psychedelic sky, Or maybe you'll be a master of sound, Jamming on guitars, with a cosmic rebound.

But wait, there's more, my celestial friend, I'll throw in some perks that never end, Like unlimited munchies, all the time, Or a never-ending stash of the dankest prime."

I was absolutely stunned. I knew that while the process I was going through  was determined by my desires. This being was very much his own entity. I had no idea what to make of him. Or why he came to fill the role.

The rhyming God looks exactly like a charicature of a stoner playing the saintly bit. He is wearing white robes, and Sandles looking like a hippy Jesus. Compete with the long hair, dark tan skin and brown curly beard. 

He looks at me expectantly and I'm suddenly very much aware I'm holding him up, but as I approach he smiles warmly, and he gestures me to a newly appeared couch opposite him across the table. I have no idea where said couch came from, but I'm much more concerned about this God in the room, who begins to speak again as I move to take a seat.

Rob-" Come have a seat, let's play a game, of chance and fate, before it gets far too late. Three rolls of dice, that's all we need, To see what destiny has decreed.

First roll is for where you'll make your start, a city, a country, or a world apart. Will it be Paris, Rome or Tokyo, or a small town where the rivers flow?

Second roll is for when, your life begins, will it be bright or dim, with hardships or wins? The future is written, but not yet set, let's see what the dice will select.

Third roll is for who, you'll be born as, A king, a pauper, or someone with class. Perhaps a hero, or maybe a foe, or a farmer who'll sow and grow.

And now for a bonus, let's roll once more, To see what fate has in store. Will it be love, wealth or fame? Or something else, that's not so tame.

So come and play, let's have some fun, and see what destiny has begun. With rolls of dice, we'll discover anew, the life that's waiting just for you."

The rhyming God finishes and I try to speak but nothing comes out of my mouth. The god puts a finger up to his lips showing I am not meant to speak. He then gestures me to the now suddenly cleared off table that has two dice resting side by side waiting for me.

The dice are not normal except in size. Perhaps some crafty tech could simulate them in appearance, but these dice are unlike anything I have ever seen. They change colors, and numbers constantly. Sometimes they show no numbers at all. With trepidation I pick them up looking closer at the details the dice show. Sometimes I see galaxies or stars. Other times I see grand forests. The scenes are fleeting but many are entirely unearthly and fill me with worry. Which the god obviously could see.

Rob-" Oh mortal, with your fate unknown, roll the dice and you'll be shown the path that destiny has set, the course on which you'll soon be sent.

Your future lies within these cubes, With each roll, a new world ensues. And as they spin and tumble down, your fate is sealed, no turning 'round."

After he spoke I summoned my courage and rolled the dice. As they leave my hand green felt and high borders magically surround the table stopping either die from falling off, as they bounce around and come to a stop. I'm unable to determine my result as the colors and symbols mean nothing to me. So I'm left not knowing what I rolled until he speaks again.

Rob-" The dice have spoken, and it's clear, A new world beckons, have no fear. Your fate is sealed, it's plain to see, to a world of ninjas and aliens you'll flee."

I was left confused and then stunned as I got my answer. Ninjas and Aliens didn't take long to make a guess, but I can't say I'm happy about the outcome. As I'm left processing things the dice appears in my hand with the god awaiting the next roll. This time it is for when.

When I tossed the dice my hand was shakey. I didn't drop the dice at all but my toss was anything but fluid. The dice bounced around separately from each other only to meet again in the middle of the table. As before I looked to my benefactor.

Rob-" Far out, man, your fate's no joke, You're headed to a world you know, when a child of prophecy will soon be shown."

I guess that's Naruto? When is a bit hazy, but I assume it'll be around the cannon events or prior. I wonder if I'll even be in Konoha.

The dice once again appeared in my hand as the god finished his rhyme. At this point I had realized I would be rolling for who I would be. Or rather my place in the world. This is an incredibly important part. My intincts ingrained after death assure me that I'll retain my memories and sense of self. But aside from that my vision of life after being isekaied was not detailed enough. If I had been the type for wish fulfillment would I have been given everything i desired? I suppose my own personal tastes may have backfired on me tremendously. With resignation I cast the third roll.

The dice didn't go far. Resting neatly against the backboard near the God. He looked at them curiously before speaking in his rhymes once again.

Rob-" You, my dude, are in for a ride, you're gonna be reborn, my high-riding guide, As Kiba, the Inuzuka's wild child, with a partner in crime, a wolf so wild."

Well, it could be worse. I really do like dogs. And I really, really didn't want to be a baby Uchiha. Funky eyes or not.

Surprisingly the dice filled my hand again, but as I soon realized I had one more roll. As the god put it." A bonus To see what fate has in store."

The last cast of dice was hopeful. The inuzuka clan was not a bad place to be at all as far as I remember. 

As the dice finished tumbling, they laid to rest against one another, both balanced impossible on their corners. I looked towards the god as it has become normal, but this time I saw him being surprised, before he spoke he took a toke, letting the smoke roll past his face as he spoke.

Rob-" Mortal, hear my voice, heed my decree, I am your god, the one who holds the key, To power untold, a gift from the divine, With emotions as your fuel, creation shall be thine.

You are chosen, mortal, to wield this gift so rare, To create with your feelings, to craft with care.

With love and joy, you'll weave creations of beauty and light, And with sorrow and pain, you'll bring forth works of strength and might."

I had no real idea what his last poem meant but that wasn't my concern. It was the fact I was being sucked into the crack between the cushions I sat upon that had my attention. But no matter how I struggled I kept being pulled into the couch somehow. At first it was just my butt. But soon I was folded into a pretzel as I was sucked into the small sofa. Unable to so much as speak a sound. Just before I lost sight of him the god waved to me as if saying goodbye.

As I was fully engulfed everything started to feel weird. My body was so weak I could hardly move. I felt wet, but warm and safe. I couldn't even open my eyes. I was growing incredibly sleepy as well. Sonuvabitch...I'm a damn baby again aren't I?