Death: the last, greatest adventure.

Mostly because, like all the greatest adventures recorded in human history, it’s possible (at least in my case) to try again with another save slot—which is, as far as I’m concerned, the true mark of a real adventure. Waifus? Monsters? Overpowered skills? Those are all well and good, but the true substance of an epic worth its name is being able to load a save point and try the stupidest dialog options just for the fun of it without any repercussions.

Repercussions like, you know, those dialog options being everyday routine because you live with three clinically insane girls who are utterly incapable of even recognizing a sane dialog branch or even a death flag, no matter how many times I try to educate them.

Or repercussions like the serene, dimly lit, mildly eerie place where I end up sitting in a chair in front of the goddess who greets me after one death flag too many being kinda… empty.

Kinda.

As in, there’s my usual chair for me to sit in, there’s the pristine, white marble throne in front of me, there’s the swirling void littered by glimmering stars and speared by ethereal light falling upon the previously mentioned throne, and there’s a velvet cushion upon it.

An undisturbed cushion. Because Eris, the only goddess I know who at least sometimes acts like she deserves the title, is nowhere to be found.

Well, nowhere other than behind the throne, peeking at me around the backrest and thinking I somehow must be moronic enough not to notice. I’ll generously chalk that up to her being used to dealing with people from my current world. Yes, that is a reasonable explanation for her believing I would fall for the kind of display of sophisticated stealth and tactics that wouldn’t baffle the average four-year-old.

…

“Yo,” I finally greet her, raising my hand with all the enthusiasm that can be expected from the recently deceased.

“Eep!” she lets out in an unfairly cute way right before she hides behind her throne so fast her floppy hat-cowl-thing cracks like a whip.

…

Fine, I’ll stand up and try to talk to her like an adult. But only because she’s been, up till now, a provider of a very valuable service—that is, giving me a few moments of uninterrupted, madness-free peace after my latest death in the line of duty and-or stupidity.

Not my stupidity, mind. Even if I had an occasional aneurysm that would explain me acting in a way that wouldn’t look amiss in a harem manga with mallet-wielding tsunderes, that would still not be my stupidity, but a bout of mental impairment brought about by the stupidity of those around me.

What I mean to say is that I’m surrounded by idiots, in case I wasn’t making myself clear.

Due to, you know, one of said idiots exploding me to death.

Right, take a deep breath. Whatever the issue, Eris has always been supportive, gentle, and graceful in a way that makes me completely okay with her padding her bust. I believe in true equality, after all.

“You do realize there aren’t too many hiding places in here, don’t you?” I tell her as I grab the top of her throne’s armrest and lean over it to see Eris’ red face nervously looking up at me from where she’s kneeling on the floor in a way that would warrant any and all ‘doki doki’ sound effects someone may care to use.

I mean, that hint of embarrassment? That slight apprehension? That nervous tick as she bites her lip while peering up at me, her chin tucked in, and her eyes wide and a gorgeous amethyst color? That frightened, bunny-like countenance that makes her the ideal victim of a rape doujin of the kind where the girl never once voices any kind of disapproval other than the ‘I’m cumming too much, I’ll become an idiot if I keep cumming!’ variety? Yeah, it’s doing things to me.

Things that, given the tattered state of my clothes, are quickly becoming apparent. I blame my orcish heritage and culture.

Or the industrial amounts of doujins that somehow ended up in my computer in my previous life. Or my recent exposure to too much sex for such a young and impressionable mind. Or me having spent too much time with Darkness. Or me having spent quite a long time inside Darkness.

Thing is, there’s plenty of things to blame, and none of them are me! Yet again, my behavior is immaculate and unreproachable.

“Hello, Kazuma,” Eris finally greets me with a thin voice that makes me lean in closer, the backrest digging in my chest as I bend over it to get almost in front of those big, mesmerizing eyes of hers.

Her cleavage is still covered from this angle, though. I guess the mystery will live on.

“Hello, Lady Eris. I, your humble servant who doesn’t recognize any divine authority other than your graceful one, have come to visit.”

She blinks.

Then she giggles.

Ah, how soothing. How tender. How resembling of birdsong from the Garden of Eden itself.

How fucking hard I am! Damn it all! I can’t show her this!

“Aqua will get mad if you keep talking like this,” she says with a gentle, elegant smile on her lips.

“I’ll take that as a bonus,” I immediately reply.

“Don’t be mean to her. She… tries,” she finishes, about as sincerely as she can without outright lying through her teeth.

I arch a very muscled, imposing, and well-delineated eyebrow.

Like, really, I don’t think I had anything as muscled as this thing in my human body. How many reps can it make? Does it take protein shakes? Does it yell ‘macho’ before stripping in front of two gym-going high schoolers?

“She does!” Eris insists, her two cute, small fists just below her chin.

While still looking up at me, kneeling on the floor.

I… recently may have gotten some ideas about what to expect of beautiful women kneeling in front of me.

“Setting the matter aside like I think everybody in her long life has already done, why are you trying to hide from me, Lady Eris?” I tell her while gentlemanly not bringing up how fucking hard she’s making me.

For a moment, she looks like she’s about to argue on Aqua’s behalf, then she appreciates the futility of the daunting task before her, realizes she doesn’t even have an entry journal for a sidequest that would warrant a self-imposed masochism comparable to playing the first few Final Fantasy without speed hacks, and focuses on the actual question.

Which is when her blush redoubles.

“Well… you are an orc, Kazuma.”

“At this point, I won’t even bother asking how you knew it was me—”

“Your file appeared before you.”

“Ah… You know, it’s refreshing to get a logical, sensible, non-offensive answer to that. But what does me being an orc have to do with you being so… apprehensive?”

Yet again, she nervously worries at her lip and then folds her hands over her lap. A lap that looks like it was made to give lap pillows, if I’m being honest.

Which I am. I always am, as a matter of fact. Being perfectly honest is a point of pride, and not just because I’m trying to get used to saying the truth in a non-incriminatory way in preparation for the next time I get interrogated with a magical lie detector.

Really. Cross my heart and hope to die and meet yet again a cute, bashful goddess.

Heh.

“Well, orcs have a very active… libido,” she whispers as if confiding a great secret.

“Really,” I answer in a tone that would make Sahara dwellers misty-eyed with homesickness.

“And… and there’s been talks between other goddesses who… who went down to the mortal realm and… Well, they took a long time to come back,” she continues, briefly licking her lips.

…

I don’t even know how to react to this other than being increasingly hard. Which, considering my previous state, is nothing short of an outstanding feat.

“And you… you’re interested in those talks?” I ask her, not stumbling over the words and not feeling my cheeks tingle as they rapidly heat up, because that would be silly after being balls deep in two busty blondes in a single day.

Yes. I’m not getting bashful and blushing at Eris being adorable, kneeling beneath me, and talking about other goddesses being railed silly by orcs who may as well be my forefathers pointing the way.

No, really! I’m perfectly calm! Composed! The very picture of dignity and poise! I could even pass as British right now!

“Kazuma? You’re… huffing?” she says, her hair swaying in the gentle breeze of… my own breathing.

Huh. I wonder if this counts as a class feature or a racial feat.

“I… my apologies, my Lady Eris. It’s just that discussing carnal matters such as these with such a pure flower—”

“I’m not pure!” she protests indignantly.

“… Excuse me?” I say to the still blushing yet now mildly indignant divine being who looks kinda rabbit-like and thus makes me wonder if there’s a crossover with Danmachi in the works.

“I… I am an experienced woman! I have… done plenty of things! Like, like… I don’t know! Things!”

“Sexual things?” I ask, not even capable of stopping the obvious retort.

She blushes even harder, tucks her chin in, refuses to meet my eyes, and mutters something so lowly I can’t even hear it.

…

Screw this. She can’t be pushing all those buttons on accident.

So I lean further down, grab her from beneath her armpits, and lift her entirely as I stand up and around her throne until her eyes are right in front of me and her rapid, frantic breathing washes over my lips in a too tempting way.

Seriously, are succubi and goddesses related? Because that small one kinda looked similar enough to her that I wouldn’t be surprised if they starred in some incest-related dreams that I will fucking pay anything they ask me for the next time I browse their menu!

Ahem.

Anyway!

“I didn’t hear that,” I tell her in the low, rumbling tone that comes so naturally to me in this shape.

And that has Eris dangling legs tightly press together before she starts squirming.

That may also be due to my orcish, rugged good looks, a previous yet perfectly reasonable crush on me, my orcish pheromones, our good relationship up till now, or my very obviously erect orc cock.

Three to two. I guess the orc side wins this one.

“I… I said that… touching myself counts?” she tells me, her lips closing into a pout that makes my cock throb.

“And… And did you ever think… about someone when you touched yourself?” I ask, bringing her closer to me until her purple robes brush my naked chest.

She freezes, her eyes widening.

And she nods.

Carefully avoiding my tusks, I lick my dry lips.

“Was it… someone I know?”

She bites her lip.

And nods.

And I bring her closer to me, her soft body pressing against my hard one, my rock-hard cock sliding up along the silk clothing and rubbing against the place where her legs meet in a way that makes her let out a suppressed, long moan.

So I lean forward and whisper in her ear.

“Was it… me?”

Eris stills perfectly, other than her body quivering so hard she almost vibrates against me, and then…

A strident cackle echoes through the space around me.

“‘Was it me?’ You seriously asked the washing board that line?! Pfft—I can’t! I can’t stand this! This is too funny!”

Oh. No.

“Wha—no, no, Megumin, listen to this! Kazuma was—”

“Aaaaaaahhhhhh! Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare infringe on a man’s pure romance! At least respect your fellow goddess’s maidenly heart!”

“What, Eris? You think she pads her chest because she’s innocent? Oh, come on, I’m sure she’s seen her fair share of… Huh. Now that you say it, I don’t think she’s ever had a boyfriend? What’s this, Eris? Did you really touch yourself thinking about Kazu—”

“Will you hurry up and resurrect him already!” Eris answers, refusing to meet my eyes and pounding my chest with her tiny, ineffective fists.

“No! I was in the middle of someone—I mean, something!” I immediately retort.

“You weren’t! I’m not naked! I’m not naked and jumping up and down on your cock!” Eris accurately describes her current circumstances.

“You could be!” I helpfully point out.

“Right, hilarious as this is, I don’t want to risk seeing you have sex twice in two days, Scumzuma. Resurrecting you now,” the goddess of Despair and Wasted Chances declares.

“Noooooo—” I yell as the barrier between dimensions cracks around me, and my soul gets pulled to a far less peaceful place, one with far fewer goddesses I wouldn’t be ashamed to have sex with.

And then, the one goddess I’ve met that I wouldn’t mind adding to my steadily more notched bedpost looks at me with watery eyes, flushed cheeks, and a bitten lip as the cruel winds of fate separate us.

And she, yet again, murmurs something too low for me to hear. Which is all nice and well in dramatic scenes, but I had asked a very simple question! It was a yes or no question! Just say it was me! Say you touched yourself thinking about me! Say it, even if it’s a lie, because I’m gonna need all the mental resources available to withstand Aqua and Megumin’s mockery after I—

After I stand up with a jolt as I reenter my physical body.

Which puts me precisely at the right height so that my still erect cock (guess some things go beyond the barrier between life and death) pokes out of my tattered pants and between the faces of the kneeling Aqua, Megumin, and Yunyun.

…

All being said, I’ve had worse resurrections. 8/10, would make the three of them blush at once again.

“Get that thing away from me!” Aqua yells.

“Yeah? Or what? Are you gonna laugh at it until it goes limp?”

Aqua, kneeling to my left and to Megumin’s right, looks up at me, then down at me, then pinches the sides of her chin as her eyebrows furrow in intense concentration.

“… Aqua?” I ask, Because, apparently, being suicidally stupid may be contagious.

“I am thinking! I—” she lies.

“No, you aren’t!” I immediately say.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?!”

“You haven’t thought a single time in your life, unless craving for alcohol counts! Your head is as empty and vacant as Yunyun’s eyes… Uh, Yunyun? You there?”

“Huh?” the Crimson Magic Clan heiress says, slowly blinking up at me from the right side of my uncovered, erect, precum-dripping cock.

…

I guess it would be bad manners to grab her hair and—

“Female orcs!” Aqua yells. “Female orcs pawing at you, taking off your clothes while you writhed in humiliation and horror, spanking you—”

“What the Hell are you doing?!” I say as I turn around so fast that my limp, noodly penis whips around me and splashes Aqua’s face with a thick dollop of precum.

“Aaaaaaahhhhh! I’ve been sullied! I’ve been sullied by the fluids of a subhuman beast! My divine visage has been marred by filthy—”

“You get used to it,” Megumin grumbles.

I blink down at her, and she, after making eye contact, puffs up her cheeks, crosses her arms, and looks up and away as she loudly huffs.

… Oi.

“Used to it?! Used to being marred by the bestial stench of—” Aqua indignantly turns toward Megumin.

“Why do you think I murdered him?! I was dripping the stuff. It got in my mouth!” the token loli answers, leaning back before turning to Aqua so as to maximize the distance from the tip of my cock.

“Really? How did it taste?” Yunyun asks.

There’s a weird, synchronized sound, something like three simultaneous cracking whips as three people focus on an increasingly red fourth one.

Yunyun, not used to having as much social interaction in a single minute, blushes harder.

And, seeing her embarrassedly writhing while right in front of my cock, catching sight of pristine, pale skin through the scorched patches of Explosion’s side-effects on her already risqué usual attire, my cock twitches.

“… You did not start to get hard because of Yunyun,” Megumin remarks with the same tone one may say ‘what did you just say about my waifu?’

Which brings up some very nice, natural, lily-scented images to mind.

And my cock twitches.

“Aaaaaahhhhh! Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare get hard because of yet another woman!” Megumin loudly protests as she jumps up to her feet and dramatically points at me, her cape flaring behind her in a way that must be a class feature. “Darkness! Luna! Eris! Yunyun! Does your lust know no bounds, you fell beast!”

“Well, yeah, I’m not getting hard because of Aqua,” I answer in a diplomatic and calm way just to reestablish the proper course of the discussion.

“Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! You bastard! How dare you disregard this beautiful goddess’ plentiful charms when she’s right in front of you!” Aqua says, trying to throttle me and, due to our quite obvious height difference, dangling from my neck, her body moving like a pendulum as she goes side to side, rubbing all over me.

And my cock twitches.

…

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

“Really? Because of… me?” Yunyun mutters, her cheeks as crimson as her eyes as she timidly looks up at me with a shy, barely there, twitching smile.

…

Right. Now I am at half-mast.

“Aaaaahhhhh!” Aqua coherently explains her own take on the situation as she lets go of my neck and jumps to the farthest corner of the room that…

Huh. I guess I could say this is an unfamiliar ceiling. Mostly because I’m pretty sure I’ve never been in this place before. The floor is carpeted in an obviously expensive purple, swirling thing, the stone walls are covered with draped tapestries of also purple velvet with arcane, geometric designs sewn in silver filigree, the only window is a gothic, arched thing with stained glass and a see-through curtain, and there’s an enormous bed with a dark, slightly reddish wooden frame that has the kind of draperies that are just begging for an aristocratic vampire to part them with a brushing arm.

So, this is the bedroom of a wealthy individual with chuuni, lavish tastes, and the self-awareness of a Naruto fan storming an American military base.

That is: Yunyun’s bedroom.

I am in Yunyun’s bedroom.

And my cock twitches.

… Honestly, I can’t even blame the orc part for this one.

“Really?” Megumin asks with a tone as dark as the soul of a sinner who would sully a pure goddess with his lascivious touch.

I said a pure goddess, Aqua. You’re safe.

Unless we’re going by Vegeta rules, of course. You could be purely useless.

“Look, it has a mind of its own,” I try to explain the intricacies of the fickle male anatomy to the indignant loli.

“Right. A mind of its own. That’s why it keeps getting hard for everyone but me,” she seethes.

“I… I mean, it’s not like I—”

“Me. The girl you’ve shared baths with. The girl you crawled into the futon of. The girl you almost—”

“Wait, he did what?!” Yunyun asks with a pleasantly scandalized expression that, combined with the barrage of memories Megumin keeps bringing up…

Well, yeah.

Obviously.

My cock twitches.

“Again?! Scumzuma, how dare you—” Megumin exclaims, pointing right at the steadily rising, offending appendage.

“I can’t help it!”

“Well, I can!” she says. And then she pulls out a prismatic crystal vial, takes off the stopper, and swallows the pink contents in a single gulp.

“Wha—” I start to question the girl who, up till today, I thought to be the sanest of my companions.

I stop because… Well, I’m kinda distracted when her almost flat chest suddenly bursts outward, about to flow up and out of the restraining confines of her previously loose dress as her hips and thighs flare, making the skirt of it steadily rise to a very risqué new height that gives me a glimpse of her always enticingly mature silk black panties as she writhes and moans throughout the whole transformation, her eyes closed and her voice husky.

And then her crimson eyes open, lidded into something dangerous.

“Well? How is it? My mature appeal, my seductive curves, my—why are you all still so tall?” she asks just as her eyes go from seductive to mildly confused.

“That was… an aging potion?” I ask despite my dry throat.

“I… well, I noticed how you looked at my mom and—I mean, this has nothing to do with that! I just wanted to showcase my superior, mature charm—”

“You’re an oppai loli,” I carefully tell her, trying to be compassionate and commiserating.

“A what?!”

“A shortstack. All curves and no height. You’re gonna be stuck like this forever,” I succinctly explain as Yunyun gapes at Megumin’s transformation and Aqua does whatever the Hell she feels like doing in her corner of the room that I won’t deign look at.

“…” Megumin looks at me, tears brimming in her eyes, then looks at her life-long rival for confirmation that Yunyun reluctantly provides with a pitying nod.

“Aaaaaaahhhhhh! Why?! I just wanted to, to… It’s just not fair!”

“There, there,” I tell her, soothingly patting the back of her head, because the hat is in the way of the most natural target for the finishing move for imouto-type characters.

And then she throws her arms around me, buries her face right below my chest, and bawls her eyes out.

“I just… I don’t want you to… I…” she incoherently explains as I keep patting both her nape and back as I try not to look as if I am about to freak out.

Yunyun stands up and timidly approaches before hesitatingly laying a hand on Megumin’s shoulder and looking at me as if asking for guidance.

Because, obviously, I’m not about to lose what little remains of my cool at having an emotional and otherwise bomb strapped to my chest like a political activist of a somewhat moderate bent. Nope. Not at all. I am composed and almost British in—fuck it. British people also freak out, don’t they?! Don’t they?! They had, like, witch hunters, and that’s obviously a thing I should think about while Megumin keeps rubbing her face and hat on my bare torso—

And her chest.

Barely above my cock.

A cock that was at half-mast and steadily rising before she hugged me, and that is now pressing against her body, the heat of the always slightly warmer than usual archmage seeping through her clothes as her grip on me tightens around a cock that she keeps writhing against.

A cock that is now hard enough to push Megumin away from me.

“Huh?” Yunyun questions her rival’s sudden separation before her eyes dip down and widen just in time to see my cock pulling Megumin’s dress up as it rises, gets caught on the previously loose clothing below her chest, and keeps rising in a way that manages to sheathe myself fully between Megumin’s newly endowed cleavage as I unwillingly reel her back to me by her stretched dress and the dick acting as a fishing hook caught on it.

This is mortifying.

It also, contrary to what I ever thought about Megumin’s likely skills in the realm of paizuri, feels fucking good. Despite the rough cotton fabric, and despite her proportions still not being up to Darkness’, Luna’s, or even Yunyun’s standards (even if they look competitive enough in her otherwise petite frame), the clothed titfuck feels far better than anything I ever experienced before yesterday’s events.

…

I refuse to believe that turning into an orc is a good side effect of my Luck stat.

Mostly because Megumin just put on her trademark smug smile that never bodes well and is now crossing her arms below her cleavage (and around my buried cock) and directing said smile to Yunyun.

“I win,” she says with all the authority of a character left standing after the K.O. announcement.

Yunyun keeps blinking at the quickly darkening piece of red cloth that covers the wet tip of my cock, and then something flips in her expression as she finally processes Megumin’s statement.

“Aaaaahhh! No fair! I didn’t state any challenge!” she says, her hair disheveled with the sudden burst of motion as she jumps back into the accusatory, pointing pose she’s so used to.

It makes her breasts bounce, so I won’t complain about the lack of variety. I’m generous like that.

“A woman’s charm is her most dangerous weapon. Not knowing we are always in the middle of a challenge is proof enough of how far you’ve yet to go,” the up till now washboard states in a cool tone and poise that seem to entirely disregard my cock still poking up between her tits.

Seems to. She’s red enough to match her dress, and her smile keeps straining, so I think her being unaware of the throbbing piece of rigid meat caught between her breasts is fairly unlikely.

“I was trying to console you!” Yunyun protests.

“A woman’s tears are her most dangerous weapon. Not knowing we are always in the middle of a—”

“A rematch! I demand a rematch!”

Megumin, still blushing and lips quivering while trying to maintain her smug grin, blinks.

“But… Kazuma’s already hard?” she points out.

“Then make him go soft! Make him go soft, and I’ll show you I can make him as hard—no, twice as hard as you!”

…

Shooting a quick look to Aqua’s corner to make sure the wide-eyed, open-mouthed goddess isn’t about to bring up any other trauma to make Yunyun’s idea actually feasible, I delicately clear my throat with the soothing sound of a rock grinder.

The two chuunis look at me as if realizing for the first time in a while that the cock is still attached to a sentient being.

I feel so objectified.

… I kinda like it.

“If I may be so bold as to suggest an alternative… Well, it’s quite unlikely that I will go soft on my own while surrounded by such beautiful, smart, engaging women such as—

“Get to the point,” Megumin grunts, tightening her arms with an affronted gesture that just makes her breasts press tighter around me.

… This is quite likely to give me some unwanted preferences for cheeky, smug, short girls.

“You could… see which of you is better at making me, er, go down.”

Two girls blink up at me in confusion. Then one of them explodes.

No points for guessing.

“Are you—no way! You, you—you’ve already fucked Darkness! And Luna! And you were putting the moves on Eris! How can you even think I would get into a threesome with—”

“So… I win?” Yunyun inquires with a tone that manages to convey smugness, confusion, and the earnest, pure joy of a maiden who finally sees a long-pursued goal right in front of her.

“What the Hell are you even saying?” Megumin asks in a low, menacing tone that all but conveys the shift in palette, copious use of the ‘go’ katakana, and bizarre pose. That last one, though, isn’t so much conveyed as fully displayed, seeing how she has to contort to keep glaring at Yunyun while maintaining my cock hooked inside her cleavage.

Yes, I may be overly focusing on this little detail, but I can assure you I’ve got some very pressing reasons to do so. Two previously not-so pressing reasons, to be precise.

“Well, if you forfeit the challenge—” Yunyun starts.

And, with a swiftness that makes me suspect she may have actually taken up some Assassin lectures from Luna, Megumin jumps up and hooks her arms around my neck, her legs around my waist, and her overflowing ass cheeks on my recently freed cock.

“Wha—” I begin to maybe protest, maybe question, maybe open my mouth like an absolute cretin because you don’t protest a cute girl sitting on your erect cock, much less question her in a way that will make her reconsider her unwise actions.

Thankfully, Megumin takes pity on me and shuts me up.

By shoving her tongue into my mouth, aggressively taking my lips by using the full strength of her arms to pull us together as my hands reflexively take her (soft, yielding) ass to hold her up as I let her tender, small, agile tongue rub over mine before I close my eyes as we both slow down and go from frantic taking to soft caresses, to going back and forth, my tongue following hers into her mouth and back again as the world fades around us and I’m only aware of the short woman clinging to me like the most amorous koala to ever make it out of a hellscape almost on par with the one I currently live on.

Megumins’ hand cradles the back of my head, pulling me slightly aside to get more comfortable access as I shift her weight on my hands, holding her up with a single hand that’s big enough to cover almost the totality of her (bouncy, round, squeezable) ass while my right hand delicately traces up the curve of her spine, eliciting a moan from her that makes me violently twitch just below her, my cock smacking the back of my hand at the cute noise.

And then… I slowly open my eyes as Megumin does the same, and we barely separate, her red eyes right in front of mine, looking at me with an intensity that I will always blame for what comes next out of my mouth:

“That was… my first kiss,” I tell her, my throat briefly tightening.

And her eyes spread in wonder as a soft, tender, disbelieving smile blooms on her lips.

“Really?” she asks, her right hand cradling my cheek, the left arm tightening her hug around my neck.

I nod.

Her smile contorts, going from the soft, caring thing, to a wide, open-mouthed grin and back again.

“I… Mine too. My first kiss,” she says.

And I feel something in my chest that is likely stupid, misguided, and about to get me in a lot of trouble as I lean forward, almost touching her with my lips yet again as she keeps staring at me, the grin turning into something silly and likely matching my own expression.

“I think I…” I start before looking at pink, wet lips that look a bit fuller than usual. Maybe because of the potion, and maybe because of our kiss. “I think I would very much like a second—hmmmmmph!”

“Kazuma?” Megumin asks with clear concern.

And I try not to give away that my sudden interruption is due to Yunyun having swallowed the tip of my cock and giving it a tongue-lashing thorough enough I feel my knees weaken.

Obviously, and as has been a near physical constant of the universe since I was reincarnated in here, I fail.

Megumin, head quickly turning in a way that makes the brim of her hat almost slash my eyes, looks down and sees Yunyun doing the very same thing I always hoped she would do, and that, of course, she manages to act on at maybe precisely the one moment in my whole life in which I won’t be ecstatic at her doing so.

The Luck stat is a lie.

“What the Hell are you doing, you slut?!” Megumin politely inquires.

“Winning!” I hear Yunyun say with what I presume is a smug, competitive grin as she jacks me off with two hands, my cock right in front of her pre-cum-slathered lips, her movements vigorous enough she manages to hit Megumin’s ass on the way down.

“I was having a moment!” the diminutive archmage protests.

“Uh-huh. Like you were being so sad right before saying you won? You won’t trick me this time!” the never diminutive in any way archmage defiantly states in a way that, I’m sure, manages to be naïvely endearing while still violently jacking me off in a way that would be too uncomfortable and rough if I wasn’t, you know, a rape monster.

The rough stuff is kind of a given.

“I wasn’t trying to trick anyone! I was having my first kiss!”

“And I’m having my first blowjob! Ha! I win!”

I find Yunyun’s logic unassailable.

“Oh, for—you, let me go. Now.”

Having learned not to argue with Megumin when she uses this tone (that’s actually a lie, but I like to pretend I have some sense of self-preservation from time to time), I delicately set her down by Yunyun’s side in a way that, entirely coincidentally, manages to finally free my sight of the busty archmage devotedly lapping up any traces of pre-cum that keep flowing out at her rough, enthusiastic ministrations.

She’s blushing in absolute mortification yet still manages to shoot me a shy smile that makes my heart flutter. Truly, such care and devotion need to be rewarded.

Which is why I grab the sides of her face and, lovingly and delicately, pull her to me, forcing her to finally swallow beyond the very tip of my cock as her eyes shoot wide open and her tongue frantically goes to work.

Megumin glares at me and then kneels by Yunyun’s side before pulling down the loose cleavage of her black blouse, the one that always made me hope something would bounce out of it, because the lack of underwear was very apparent with every jiggling step she took.

And my most pyrotechnical companion grabs Yunyun’s breasts while hugging her from behind, pinching and twisting her nipples in a slightly harder way than I would to anyone other than Darkness, and glares up at me.

Blushing like a tomato.

“Is this it? Is this what you wanted to see every time you leered at her? These cow tits that only lose to Darkness and Wiz? Well, are they everything you hoped they would be, Scumzuma?”

Looking between Yunyun’s stretched lips around my shaft, her wide eyes, her also stretched breasts, and Megumin’s glare in quick succession, I do the only thing a heterosexual male in my position would do.

I nod. Dumbly.

Megumin’s eyes narrow as Yunyun’s seem to crinkle in a happy smile.

And I throb, a particularly thick dollop of precum going out of my tip.

And Yunyun’s eyes roll to the back of her head before she drops back into Megumin’s hostile embrace as she lets out the kind of moan I usually can only find in the kind of anime that has a very broad appeal yet a sadly lacking budget for animation that leaves the scriptwriters as an afterthought.

It may also have been illegal for me to watch.

“Yun… Yunyun?” Megumin asks with obvious concern.

That is, the kind she only shows when she’s almost certain Yunyun won’t notice.

… Oh gods, she’s a loli tsundere! The most destructive force in the known universe!

Yeah, should’ve noticed that sooner.

“He tastes… He tastes so good, Megumin,” Yunyun says with a wide grin and a slightly drunken gaze that, yet again, makes me throb a thick dollop of pre-cum. A dollop that she immediately launches herself forward to run her tongue over before her lips close right around my slip and she sucks hard enough to make my knees buckle.

Megumin’s eyes widen, and she hesitatingly lets go of Yunyun’s breasts  (I understand, really, I also would hesitate to let them go) before shuffling around the girl devotedly trying to show me what I missed out on that night the succubus was unfairly chased out of my home by a homicidal, bigoted goddess who—

Who keeps staring open-mouthed at what’s going on.

… All right, this is concerning, and I’m pretty sure I’ll later on regret not doing anything, but as long as Aqua keeps her damn mouth shut, I’ll call this a win.

A win compounded by Yunyun’s tongue and Megumin curiously sniffing my ballsack before giving it a tentative lick and shivering like a cat arching its back.

…

On second thought, I’m not even being sarcastic about this being a win. Yep. This is it. This is what not being a loser looks like.

I think. It’s not like I have too many samples to compare.

“It really… It really smells nice, doesn’t it?” Megumin mutters distractedly before giving me another exploratory lick and, with a nod of approval, swallowing my left nut.

“Fuck!” I succinctly tell them about the pressing issue of what overstimulation is likely to cause in short order.

Which Yunyun seems to take as encouragement before she dives down, her jaw opening to accommodate me until the halfway mark, when my pressing against the entrance to her throat seems to become an issue as tears start brimming from her eyes.

So I, as gentlemanly as befits me, decide to give her a helping hand, hold her head in place with two hands cupping her cheeks, and—

And she looks up at me, that same smile from earlier on her eyes as one hand caresses up my stomach and another shyly rests on Megumin’s moving nape.

…

Fiiiine, I’ll refrain from fucking her throat until she chokes on my load, but I want it on record that it’s not because I just had another unwarranted case of feelings.

Ugh. Those are the worst.

Also, it’s not because Yunyun’s usual issues with solitude and her quite evident happiness at feeling included in something vaguely resembling physical intimacy are making me tear up that I gently brush my thumb over her cheek as she closes her eyes in reassured, safe, relaxed affection while she tilts her head to the side and, with my cockhead still in her mouth, nuzzles my broad palm like a very affectionate, if inappropriate, kitten.

Nope, I just do it to trick her into remaining right there while I enjoy the ministrations of the chuuni duo. Yup. That’s my one and only reason. It’s not like every time I watch a woman melt while having sex with me I get a sudden, protective urge to hold them, and protect them, and take them away from this crazy world.

Not at all. I just… enjoy having two young girls sucking my cock and balls. Yup. That’s absolutely everything there is to this whole thing.

Even if my lips still tingle from my first kiss with Megumin.

…

And now I feel like cumming. Great. I assure you it’s just because of the spectacle of Yunyun’s breasts gently swinging back and forth to the rhythm of her renewed blowjob and the sight of Megumin’s ass, clad in too small and stretched panties, swaying side to side as her whole body moves with each circling motion of her tongue over my scrotum.

Actually, that seems like a reasonable explanation. Let’s go with that.

“Girls, I… I’m about to cum. And, well, I kinda cum a lot, so I would suggest that—”

‘That you make me fall on my back with the sheer intensity of your renewed assault’ was not how I was planning to continue that sentence, but well, I’m not about to complain.

Mostly because long vocalizations are about the highest form of communication I can manage as both Yunyun and Megumin assault me with a fervor I’d usually associate with, respectively, winning at rock, paper, and scissors and making cartography obsolete.

So, with a last thrust upward that has my cock finally go past the entrance to Yunyun’s throat as her eyes widen and her double handjob resumes with what I think Aqua would describe as religious fervor right as Megumin’s tongue goes into a frenzy, I cum.

The first shot makes me close my eyes as I feel the almost jelly-like glob burst out of me and into Yunyun’s throat. She then pulls back, but still keeps my slit between her tightly sealed lips as I feel her suck more and more as soon as the second burst comes out.

And then I manage to open my eyes just in time to see Yunyun pull out at my third shot, cum already dripping past the corners of her lips as she grabs Megumin’s hair and forces the smaller archmage in front of my cock before plunging her back down, making her swallow the fourth shot as Megumin’s eyes widen while Yunyun, face plastered with thick ropes of semen, looks at her with the kind of tenderness that manages to wring a fifth shot out of me and into Megumin’s bulging cheeks.

And then I see those cheeks shrink as I feel her swallow around me, her tongue lapping at my cock with as much care as she previously did to my own tongue.

… I don’t think I’m about to go any softer.

“Wha—what were you—” Megumin asks as soon as Yunyun lets her pull away from my cock. Well, not precisely ‘as soon as.’ Let’s just say there’s been a slight delay.

“I… He just tasted sooo good, Megumin! I—I wanted to share it with you,” the perpetually lonely girl says, managing to both break my heart, restore (part of) my faith in humanity, and make my cock throb so hard I splatter a drop of thick cum right on Megumin’s hat’s brim.

The girl’s dangerous.

Also, going by Megumin’s crimson cheeks, she concurs on my analysis.

She’s also fidgeting, blushing, and completely uncaring of the sperm slowly dripping off her hat, so it’s not like she is that safe to be around, either.

“I don’t…” she starts to protest before looking into Yunyun’s hopeful smile. “I mean… Thank you?”

“You’re welcome!” the heiress enthusiastically says, fists cutely clenched right below her wide smile in a way that has her arms perfectly press together and present her bouncing breasts.

Breasts I’m staring at.

Just like Megumin is.

…

Oho?

“Sooo… is it safe to say you two enjoyed yourselves?” I ask them while trying to get my throat to cooperate and not growl out the question.

Yunyun enthusiastically nods before something resembling self-awareness goes through her face, and she then blushes and bashfully nods.

Megumin just looks at my still hard cock, then at Yunyun’s bare tits, blushes, and repeats the three parts of the cycle.

Never say I didn’t do anything for you, Megumin! I’m now heroically and selflessly set on helping you explore your Sapphic attraction to your lifelong rival that only your tsundere tendencies stop you from calling your best friend!

With benefits!

“So, you are satisfied with a tie?” I say.

And, suddenly, four crimson eyes focus on me as intently as they would on a limited-edition figurine of Lina Inverse, patron saint of collateral-damage-unaware sorcerers anywhere.

“A… tie?” Yunyun hesitantly asks.

“Well, the challenge was about making me go soft…” I hint at the underlying issue. That is, that I’m still rock-hard at the two of them.

And, before I can do anything other than allude to a possible way to resolve the stalemate, Megumin throws aside her (wet) hat, followed by her cape falling to the (very comfortable) carpet as if carried by an unseen breeze, kicks off her boots, jumps up and down while trying to take off her panties without bending over before realizing the futility of her actions and giving me an unontended show, and then struggles to pull off her now quite tight dress in the least erotic yet still enticing way possible.

Then she adopts an imperious pose, fists on her naked hips, chin tilted up, and…

“My name is Megumin! She who will master the path of Explosions! None shall stand in my way! No challenge shall be left unconquered! No monster undefeated!” And then, fists still on her hips, she lifts a dainty foot to rest it on my hipbone, right beside my erect cock, and she bends over at the waist, her grin spreading and showing far too many teeth. “Prepare to be fucked dry,” she adds in a low, growling voice.

…

I am perfectly okay with this.

“Ah!” Yunyun Yunyuns as she leaps up, her breasts following the movement in perfect, jiggling harmony before they are shaken side to side as she points at me. “My name is Yunyun! She who will lead the Crimson Magic Clan! My Light of Saber shall cleave a path to a brighter future! My many friends will stand by my side! And I… I… I’ll have plenty of children for the future of my village! Mister Kazuma! Prepare yourself to give me plenty of practice!”

…

I am even more okay with this.

Megumin, apparently, may not be, because right after she stops gaping at the blushing Yunyun, something sparks in her eyes, and she straddles me, her eyes briefly clenching closed as she lines my cock up with her pussy and glides up toward my cockhead.

“Wait!” Yunyun asks, her tone pleading enough that even Megumin, in her ruthless, competitive mood, manages to stop herself. “I… I think we can make it fairer!”

Megumin looks at my twitching cock, then back at the pleading Yunyun.

“Fairer how? He’s only got one of these, and I’m already on top of—”

“Precisely!” Yunyun happily exclaims. And then she points at me, a magic circle glowing into being beneath her gorgeous, though still sadly covered, legs, and pink light floods the room as her lips move in a silent casting.

And then the light fades, and I have two cocks.

…

Honestly? I don’t even know if I should be angry, terrified, or ecstatically happy.

“Wha—” Megumin naturally reacts as she stares at the appendage that just sprouted in front of the one she was almost done climbing.

And then we get to watch Yunyun slowly walking toward us as she unbuttons her blouse, dropping it on the lush carpet right before she unzips her short skirt. She wasn’t wearing any bra, but her panties… they are a black affair with lace roses that are wet enough to cling to her and show in pristine detail the shape of the slight triangle of dark hair pointing to the glistening sex below.

And then she stands above me, one leg on each side of me, and she bends toward Megumin as she rolls down those very same panties of hers until they are tautly stretched and indenting her soft thighs while she points her ass and sex toward me.

“I… Megumin, I…” she says.

“You… You wasted skill points on sexual spells?” Megumin accuses.

And Yunyun shifts forward, bending lower, her hands resting on her rival’s shoulders.

“I… I don’t think it’s a waste. I always thought… always wanted to have my lover feel as good as possible. To maybe give them something nobody else could give them, something special, just mine, and… And I think that, even if it’s just for today, it will be worth it, because… Megumin…” She pauses, and I can’t see her face, but it’s too easy to see Megumin looking up at her with eyes that look a bit lost, and a bit eager, and a bit hopeful. And I think even Yunyun manages to read her this time around. “Megumin, do you want to… lose our virginities? At the same time? To—together?”

… Yunyun, it’s my cock you’re supposed to make cum, not my heart.

“I…” the shorter girl starts. And then stops as her hands leave my hips and travel up to touch Yunyun’s hands on her shoulders, only to follow up those slender arms until she’s cupping Yunyun’s cheeks. “I still won’t lose, but… we could… start at the same time?”

…

Stupid feelings.

Before I can say anything to ruin this, whatever this is supposed to be, Yunyun nods and shifts aside to pull her panties down all the way off, only her crimson tights and brown boots remaining, and then she straddles me yet again, sitting on my stomach with wet heat, facing Megumin.

And they hug.

With my cocks between them.

… It’s becoming increasingly harder not to spoil the atmosphere.

Which reminds me to look at Aqua, who’s still staring at the three of us from her corner of the room.

Just… slightly more naked than a few minutes ago.

And with one hand on her left breast, and another between her bent legs spread on the thick carpet, whose violet tone nicely compliments the patch of sparse blue hair I can see hints of around her slender wrist.

She meets my eyes with an almost panicked gaze, then looks at the most heterosexual yuri romance I’ve ever seen that didn’t involve a futanari, and shushes me with a wet pointer finger over her lips. The upper ones.

Which means this is a situation so emotionally charged and somewhat sacred that even Aqua gets the idea.

…

I silently nod at her, and she shoots me a smile of relief and gratitude.

Then goes back to masturbating to the scene.

I may have slightly misjudged her motives.

“Ready?” Yunyun whispers, still hugging Megumin, their breasts pressed together in a way that makes them spill from the sides.

Megumin nods.

And they rise.

I feel the distinctly weird yet not disturbing sensation of my two cocks gliding along two wet channels, each of the girls similar enough in their inner heat and slick wetness that I could get confused about which one of them is on each cock.

And then they get to the top, and their embrace loosens as Yunyun gets my lower cock’s head aligned with Megumin’s entrance, and Megumin does the same with my upper cock, and it takes the very last dredges of my self-control not to thrust up into them.

“One, two,…” Yunyun starts the count. And then she pauses, and I fully expect Megumin to just drop down only to be able to claim that she was the first to lose her virginity.

But then Megumin whispers a soft “Three,” and the hand that was pointing my cock up goes to Yunyun’s hip, and she pushes down as Megumin’s own weight shifts to have my cock finally go into her wet, warm opening.

Right as Yunyun does.

… I’m not gonna lie: I’m kinda proud of her. And of me. For not ruining this.

The two girls hiss, their arms yet again completing their naked hug as they hold each other aloft, my cocks just barely inside each of them.

“He’s… thick,” Yunyun says, and, while I love the sight of her ass and naked back, I would pay a full patent of a product for Wiz’s shop to see what face she’s making when she says that with a voice that makes me twitch inside the both of them.

And that makes them moan.

“He… is… Are you scared?” Megumin asks.

“Just... maybe a bit? I never thought I would with… you know?”

“Pathetic. My rival shouldn’t fear something as trifling as… Kazuma’s dick,” Megumin says.

…

“Oi,” I reply.

“What? Do you think just because you deflowered two archmages of the Crimson Magic Clan at once, that means you’re somehow impressive? Please. Just keep quiet and be a good dildo while we ride you into a puddle,” she says while mockingly looking at me over Yunyun’s shoulder.

You know? I’m pretty sure she’s just doing this to put her rival at ease and take some gravitas off the whole situation.

I’m still gonna fuck her.

“Ka—Kazuma?! Why are you grabbing me—hnnnnn!” she blurts out as I hold her in place with one hand right before I thrust up inside her.

Yunyun has been spared due to my other hand grabbing her and helping her move up right in time with my thrust. I’m generous and gentle like that with those who deserve it.

“Is mocking me that fun, Megumin? Or is it just that you want me to fuck you silly, and you don’t know how to properly ask for it?” I say with a cackle that is not, at all, villain-like.

Unless we are talking about hentai villains. Then yes, it perfectly fits.

“Ka—Kazuma? Megumin’s eyes are rolled back!” Yunyun says.

Ah.

“Don’t worry, Yunyun, that just means she’s a quick shot.”

“A quick shot? Not at all! Explosion magic has one of the longest chants—”

“Right, no. What that means is that Megumin, who was already drenched when she was sucking on my balls and about to cream herself while watching you strip and walk toward us, has just come at me pushing half my cock suddenly inside her.”

There’s a slight pause before Yunyun, very slowly, turns to look at me over her naked shoulder.

“I… I think I may be a ‘quick shot.’ Can you help me find out?” she asks with big eyes that—

Huh. That roll back right after I thrust up inside her, Megumin’s limp body pushing Yunyun back as she loses all strength, and they both end up on top of me.

I discreetly look toward Aqua, and she’s still very occupied with her self-worship.

So I wrap my arms around the two girls reinforcing their earlier embrace with some added monstrous strength, and, with some difficulty, manage to stand up and walk to Yunyun’s luxurious vampire-bait of a bed.

I part the muslin curtains on the right side and lean down to have them gently rest on the purple (I’m sensing a theme), luxuriously soft duvet, then look down with all my tenderness and satisfaction at the two girls laying on top of each other, their naked bodies even more beautiful together than apart.

Then I grab one hip with each hand, and drive myself forward.

“Ah!” Megumin exclaims, her eyes shooting wide open.

“Hn!” Yunyun agrees, biting her lip and throwing her head back, twisting it so she’s lying on her right cheek, staring both at Megumin and at me with a shocked expression.

“Fuck!” I add as I feel two tight, wet, eager pussies clench down on me.

And then I decide to experimentally repeat the thrust. Not because it feels fucking good, but because the scientific method all but demands I check whether I can get such a perfectly synchronized reaction yet again.

It turns out that I can.

Or, at least, something quite like it as I pull back to their expressions going slack and unfocused and thrust forward to all three of us grunting at the sheer intensity of it all.

So. Scientific method. It turns out it’s good for something other than making me filthy rich.

It’s also making me as hard as Darkness’ therapist’s life.

And, when I look down and see Yunyun and Megumin clinging to one another as if they need the reassuring contact not to drift away, their minds carried by bursts of pleasure they keep moaning and yelling at? Well, it turns out I can get even harder.

“Kazuma! Ah!” Megumin yells, looking straight into my eyes as she spasmodically clenches on my lower cock and her fingers keep trailing and grabbing at Yunyun’s pigtails. “You—you’re filling me up! You’re—oh gods! This is almost as good as an Explosion!”

Oi.

I mean, I know she’s being flattering, but… almost?!

“Just—just how much do you like Explosions, you crazy—aaahhhh!” Yunyun protests, protecting my honor in a way that makes her instantly jump up the ranks and me to grab and squeeze at her ass as I make sure to grind the base of my cock all over her lower lips and drive her to grind her own clit on Megumin’s.

“It’s a compliment! Nothing in the world can compare to the glory that is an Explosion spell as—oh fuck! Kazuma! Stop trying to fuck me into heresy!”

“No! You’re gonna become a puddle of well-fucked shortstack addicted to orc cock before I leave this room!”

“You’re the only orc in the world!”

“I know! Isn’t that great?!” I tell her with a radiant smile that is not me just ominously flashing my tusks at her.

Megumin lets out a long, slutty, toe-curling moan as I bury myself deep inside her scalding hot sex.

And Yunyun giggles.

“You two—you two love each other so much…” she says with a heart-clenching smile as she tenderly caresses Megumin’s cheek and looks into her eyes.

…

Fuck it.

I, regretfully, let go of not-quite-twin asses into which my fingers sink with delightful ease and reach down to grab the back of their heads, briefly marveling at how silky and soft their hair feels before I press them together.

“Now, kiss,” I tell them the ancient phrase.

Megumin looks panicked at me, then at Yunyun right in front of her, then opens her mouth to protest:

“Wha—hmmmmpppphhh!”

And gets interrupted by Yunyun diving forward and, apparently, giving her tongue a workout more intense than what I gave her earlier.

It would make me jealous if it wasn’t making me so hard. Yes, yes, I know I keep repeating that, but… Look it’s either that or describe how the way Megumin’s eyes go from wide with panic to relaxed and at ease after she leans forward to return Yunyun’s affections is making me believe that there’s actual beauty and good in the world, and we all know how things go when I let myself believe that.

So. They make me hard.

They make me delight in moving their bodies back and forth over the bed with every long thrust of my hips.

They make me all but inundate their wombs with enough precum that it keeps splashing against my balls and lower body each and every time I decide to pause and grind on them, to make them gasp muffled bursts of pleasure into each other’s mouths.

They make me caress their backs and sides, grope at bouncy, tender, yielding asses and breasts, bury myself inside them just to watch how some angles make them open their eyes in wide surprise, how some make them clench them shut in intense pleasure, and how some make their eyelids flutter.

They make me… focus on two beautiful, loving girls being perfectly safe in expressing their love for one another without any pretenses for the first time in their lives.

“Ka—Kazuma?” Megumin asks, her lips barely apart from Yunyun’s as their crimson eyes focus on me. “Are you crying?”

“Wha—no! I am a depraved rape beast enjoying fucking you two silly at once! There’s no emotional depth to be found in here!”

Megumin’s jaw drops right before I thrust hard enough that she clenches her teeth and her eyes roll almost all the way back in what experts would deem three-quarters of an ahegao.

Of course, I should’ve expected the actual attack to come from elsewhere.

“I—it’s all right, Mister Kazuma. I understand. It’s hard being alone,” Yunyun tells me with tender, lonely eyes that never stopped trying and are now finally being fulfilled.

…

So I fuck her.

“Aaaaahhhhhh! Wh—whyyyyy?!” She protests as I rail her so hard the mattress all but vibrates below the three of us.

“Because you’re too cute! You’re too cute, and precious, and adorable! And if I can’t protect you, then at least I’ll mindbreak you!”

“Those are two entirely different thiiiiings!” she protests.

“No, no, he’s—oh, fuck—he’s right!” Megumin, for once in her life, agrees with me in a way that isn’t just to fuck with Aqua or Darkness.

But that, given that it ends up with her dragging Yunyun into a heated kiss as she pinches and twists the older girl’s nipple, is still related to fucking.

This is a very nice image.

But I think I can make it better.

So I once again grab their thick asses to hold them steady as I violently thrust against them, my cocks reaching different places as I try to focus on one or another, changing depth, height, and angle, at one point lifting their lower bodies off the mattress entirely and forcing their shoulders to get buried in the duvet below them, the thick, soft fabric moulding to their even softer bodies.

And then I go from their asses to just grabbing their waists, my fingers long and strong enough to keep the Crimson Magic Clan sandwich together as they start to lose control and grind on one another, their mouths only separating to yell out their intense pleasure.

And, finally, Megumin buries her fingers on Yunyun’s hair, and Yunyun bites down on Megumin’s neck to muffle her cries as their bodies shake in something other than the force of my cocks driving deep inside them.

And their pussies go mad, spasmodically clenching around me so hard I have to use all of my strength just to keep pulling in and out of them, even if with slower thrusts as I accompany the two girls through their first shared orgasm, timing my movements to the writhing muscles beneath my grasp.

And then they go limp, and I carefully set them down, admiring the beautiful sight of them curled around one another before carefully and slowly pulling out.

It turns out that, in the end, they both lose: they never managed to make me go soft.

I don’t think they’ll care too much about that.

So I gently hold them in a very messy, wet, sweaty, and tangled bridal carry as I manage to open the bed up without letting them go and then get them inside it, their embrace never breaking through the entire process.  Then I tuck them in before checking they are still out of it and kissing each of their foreheads.

And that’s when I turn toward Aqua’s corner, who’s looking at me with eyes wide enough that it’s hard to decide whether there’s terror or a junkie in there.

I take a few careful, silent steps that make me stand above her, twin erections in each of my hands, my feet between her spread, bent legs, her sex barely covered by the hand burying two fingers inside her, her naked breasts rising and falling with each audible breath as she keeps squeezing the left one.

“Ka—Kazuma? Have you come to beg this magnanimous, beautiful goddess to help you relieve yourself of your bestial urges?” she asks before licking her lips.

“No,” I answer.

“N—no? What do you mean ‘no!?’”

“This,” I tell her.

And then give myself the last two pumps needed before my strained balls finally decide to give up and release the torrents of cum that have been building up since Megumin’s and Yunyun’s combined blowjob, aiming the two streams right at Aqua’s open mouth as her fingers convulse in and out of her drenched pussy lips and squeeze her left breast hard enough to dig into it.

It’s intense enough that I don’t even notice when one of my cocks disappears, which is a sentence I honestly never thought I would use.

And then I find myself panting out my release as I barely hold myself up with a hand on the corner of Yunyun’s bedroom, looking down at a blue-haired goddess with her eyes rolled back, her mouth gaping open, and her tongue gathering dollop after dollop of the thick cum dripping down her face and breasts.

“A… Aqua… If you ever want me to… fuck… If you ever want me to do anything other than cum on you like on a well-used porn mag? Beg me for it. Worship me, you fucking NEET,” I tell her with an increasingly wide and satisfied smirk.

And then, before she can process what I just said, I turn around, take up my discarded spare capes, and get the Hell out of Yunyun’s house.

***

“Kazuma? Are you wearing a skirt?” Dust asks me as we cross paths on a deserted street.

…

“All right, two things: the first and probably most important one is that this is not a skirt, but a kilt,” I explain, pointing down at the improvised mess of capes tied around my waist to preserve what little of my modesty can still be preserved. “A kilt, I’ll have you know, is the traditional garb of one of the manliest, fiercest warrior clans from my homeland—”

“Yeah, I would also be fierce if somebody forced me to wear a skirt,” Dust interjects with a knowing, dare I say compassionate, nod.

… Fucking asshole.

“The second, and likely more infuriating one,” I continue, ignoring the interjection, “is how?! How the fuck does absolutely everyone know I am an orc just by—”

“Oh, Luna put out an announcement at the Guild. The whole town knows already.”

…

“Do you mean to tell me I’ve spent the past hour skulking around back alleys and wasting time and effort with my Conceal skill without any need for it?” I tell him, my increasingly muscled eyebrow twitching in a set of rapid reps that I’m told are ideal for burning fat but very bad for hypertrophy.

“Uh, I mean… I guess? Why were you hiding, anyway?”

“Because I’m a monster—”

“Well, yeah, but people are already used to you—”

“By which I mean, an actual monster, the kind adventurers hunt for fun and profit.”

“Ah,” Dust says before uncomfortably scratching his cheek. “Yeah, about that… There’s a royal decree protecting male orcs. They think we could use them to negotiate with female orcs, so killing one of them if they are ever found is a very bad idea.”

I stare at Dust.

He shrugs.

And, without any further words, I turn around and head straight to my home, ignoring any and all commentary from the fucking NPCs that try to bother me along the way.

***

It is with no small amount of wariness that I go through the doors of my dwelling as the setting sun tints the whole atmosphere in a very fitting, dramatic orange that’s precisely the right tone to light an empty classroom that’s about to be a battleground for two heroic spirits.

My trepidation is, so far, unfounded, as I don’t see anyone.

No vengeful Aqua, no bashful (and, thus, about as dangerous as if she was vengeful) Megumin, and no… Darkness.

… I don’t even know how to classify her. She’s a danger all of her own.

So, kinda exhausted from all the social interaction crammed into two very long days, I go to my room.

And, in front of my door, pacing up and down the corridor with barely restrained nervous energy, I find a very worried-looking Darkness.

Oh, dear.

“Ka—Kazuma?!” she exclaims before I can run away.

“Yes? Kazuma here?” I reflexively answer, trying to lighten whatever mood needs lightening.

And the worry melts away as pure, undiluted joy washes over Darkness’ face, and she jumps right at me to smother me with her breasts and demand I take her right here and now, possibly using a leash to demean her with some pet play.

Except she instead hugs me with all her actually monstrous strength, burying her face in my chest, happy tears brimming out of her closed eyes.

“It… Kazuma, it wasn’t a dream… You weren’t a dream…” she mutters, the words so loving they make my chest clench in both guilt and something else.

… Goddamn feelings, I swear.

 

 

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Hello there! This bout of green fever is brought to you by both my own insanity and my supporters voting for it one too many times in a row until it became a monthly series. It currently has ten chapters, nine of which can be found on QQ, and the tenth one on my Patreon. I’ll be posting the chapters here twice weekly, on Wednesday and Friday, until we’re caught up. 

Also, I’d like to thank my credited supporters on Patreon: Niklarus, Tinkerware, Varosch, and Xalgeon. If you feel like maybe giving me a hand and helping me keep writing wholesome orc rape, consider joining them or buying one of my books on Amazon. Thank you for reading!