I have already talked at length about companion quests and why they are so important to make one feel attached to the bundle of pixels displaying more character and focused goals than most people you’ll ever meet outside of an eroge release queue.

(I never claimed it was good character, but the point stands.)

Anyway, those companion quests are part of a greater whole: the party system. Most RPGs worth their name have more available characters than party slots, just to avoid having a combat turn take longer than an argument about the best waifu in the franchise. Fire Emblem, Suikoden, and other outliers (like Shining Force—and the less said about Sega’s downfall, the better) can get away with a mix between RPG and strategy that doesn’t neglect any of the characters when it’s time for them to vent their frustrations on (allegedly) deserving victims, but they are not everyone’s cup of tea. That is to say, they aren’t Final Fantasy clones.

Still, given that the core of RPGs consists of rewarding people for wanton violence and that, by necessity and design, not everybody can gleefully murder unsuspecting random ‘encounters’ at the same time (no matter how heartwarming it is to see the Persona cast jump at once on top of downed enemies and pummel them into nonexistence or whatever the fuck the Shin Megami Tensei equivalent of death is), there comes a need to establish a way to handle such situations.

Do the allies in reserve still get XP? Do they get it at a reduced rate? Do they get anything at all to compensate for the fact that the player did ultimately decide they weren’t worth their time, and that’s a sad commentary on you, Yuffie, seeing as you’re a ninja girl, and how the Hell do you fuck up so badly that the ninja girl is not immediately lauded as the sexiest waifu of the franchise—

Ahem. I mean…

Yeah. Party mechanics.

They are the last resource of the pariah. Their last chance to maybe someday catch up to the main trio the protagonist rarely swaps out except for plot-related reasons—and aren’t Phoenix Downs a thing, Cloud? Aren’t they?!

… Fuck pointy-haired blonds, man.

Anyway, as I was saying, party mechanics are the power of friendship made manifest, the crystallization of the bond between partners sworn to face death itself by one another’s side, the link between kindred spirits.

Thus, it is a foregone conclusion that such lofty ideals never, ever include a loot-splitting mechanic, as the implicit trust in the leader of the party makes such petty concerns a non-entity.

Sadly.

“Here’s your breakfast, my dearest Master!” Aqua says with a face-splitting smile that’s been there since she woke up on top of my chest and giggled like a schoolgirl with a non-hentai-related crush before trying to get up and needing me to help her get dressed and walk to the bathroom.

She, for reasons beyond the ken of mortal men, is yet again wearing her dangerously short maid dress.

And, as she’s made sure I’m aware of again and again by bending over in my direction each and every time she’s brought Darkness, Megumin, and Yunyun (who keep looking at me as if I was unsplit loot) their own servings, she isn’t wearing any underwear.

…

I may need something with slightly more support than a jersey turned into an improvised kilt that’s definitely not a skirt. Just a hunch.

Also, because of something appropriately inscrutable and, dare I say, ineffable, she’s staring at me with an expectant look in her uncomfortably warm eyes.

“Well? Is it to your taste, Master?” she asks with the kind of tone that leaves little doubt as to the ambiguity of the question.

In front of me, there’s a bowl of white rice, another of miso soup, and a steaming cup of green tea.

Except both the soup and tea are… Water.

Steaming hot water.

I look at her, switching the lead eyebrow this time around so that I won’t get the freakishly asymmetrical body of a professional tennis player who isn’t a prince, and wait for her smile to wilt.

It… doesn’t.

“It’s water,” I point out. “Rice and water.”

“Ah! My apologies, my dearest Master! I didn’t realize I inadvertently purified your meal; please, allow me to make it up to you!”

And, without further preamble, she plops down on my lap, grabs the bowl of white rice, takes a spoonful (heresy!) of it, and softly blows on it before shyly lifting it to my tusk-parted lips.

She… blushes. Prettily.

And wiggles just the slightest amount to make sure a certain part of me is not only paying attention but perfectly aware of how few layers of clothing there are between us.

To my right, Darkness is heavily panting.

In front of me, Megumin is glaring.

To Megumin’s left, Yunyun is… softly smiling, biting the corner of her lip, and looking between Megumin and me.

Look, this isn’t my fault. It’s perfectly understandable that four girls who have recently had sex with a hentai orc would all want to monopolize said paragon of virility’s time. It’s also a foregone conclusion that said orc would have some difficulty keeping it in his pants, seeing as he still doesn’t have any. And it is no one’s, and I mean no one’s, fault that the two previous tautological inevitabilities would result in a slight scheduling conflict when vying for some one-on-one time with the lone source of a precious commodity. This is all an inevitable chain of events that no one could have predicted and nobody would have been able to stop once set into motion.

If you want to blame someone, blame the universe for making scarcity a thing. That’s the whole foundation of any economic system throughout history, and who am I to fight against the tides of history? The dialectical nature of the class struggle is not something a lone orc can do anything against, and it is entirely unreasonable to condemn me for not falling in line with what a German guy with a funny beard declared centuries ago—particularly the thing about seizing the means of production, seeing as those are my balls.

I open my mouth to maybe explain that, as the leader of the party, it is my job to allocate resources, especially when those resources are me, but before I can say something stupid enough to break the uneasy truce, Aqua shoves the rice right in.

…

It is delicious.

Is that yet another of her frivolous investments in skill points? Yet another thing that could’ve gone straight to life-saving spells that would make it so I don’t have to visit Eris so often? Is this what the useless goddess has deemed will make me look at her with less pity in my eyes in her eternal quest to be perceived as something other than dead weight?

Because it’s kinda working…

I mean, the soft, round, Platonic ideal of butts rubbing on top of my erection is certainly helping, but the texture of the steamed rice? The subtle fragrance of mirin (And how the fuck did she get mirin in here?), married to the perfect mixture of salt and sugar? The woman I recently fucked hand-feeding me?

Is this what married life is like? Is this why an eroge protagonist sometimes chooses anything other than a harem ending? Is this the bliss that awaited me after all the travails and suffering of patiently waiting for Aqua to grow out of her rebellious phase and learn her place as my cock slave?

How wholesome.

Also, there’s a hand grasping my arm and insistently tugging at me that—

Huh.

Darkness is… Looking up at me. Pouting.

And holding up a fork with a piece of fried egg near my face.

…

“Ah!” Aqua yells as she squirms and seems to grow just a tiny bit taller.

A smidge, mind you.

“Really?” Megumin asks with a dark tone. “You have Aqua wearing that and grinding all over you, and what makes you lift her up with your… Excalibur is Darkness acting sulky?”

“I think it’s very cute,” Yunyun comments with the same smile from earlier but with a tad more of a blush.

Which makes Megumin take a look at her out of the corner of her eye and start flushing in turn.

…

One of these days, I’ll be brave enough to ask what went on in Megumin’s room yesterday morning. That day is not today.

“Really?” Darkness asks. “You… You did get hard because of this slovenly, loose body of mine?” she continues, gesturing at what lies beneath her white, flowing nightgown that is just transparent enough to make me acutely aware of the pale pink signaling she isn’t wearing a bra, her breasts as free as they can be while still covered by frilly cotton.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Aqua claims from atop her… throne. “He’s hard because he has a beautiful, pure goddess tempting him with charms that no mortal can—”

“It’s because of Darkness and her loose, erotic meat,” I say, making the crusader moan, and the goddess turn to me so fast she slaps me with her hair. “Definitely because of that, and not at all because she looks like a bashful bride asking for her husband’s attention.”

“Wha—I don’t… I am definitely not looking at you with an adoring gaze, and… Uh… I mean… I… I am but a lowly servant of your cock! I’m just fearfully waiting for you to degrade me and put me in my place!”

“Well, tough luck, Lalatina,” Aqua says with all the bitter tone of a bartender who just looked at an unpaid tab—she must’ve taken notes, “because, as it turns out, I am already in my place. Isn’t that so, my Master?”

I look at Darkness’ flushed cheeks, her nervous darting tongue briefly peeking out of plush lips, her wide, azure eyes fluttering as she beholds the smug Aqua looking down her nose at her while she stakes her claim on my lap in a way that will, sooner or later, end up with me inside of her.

Then I dare shoot a brief glance at Megumin’s dark mood, her eyes as shadowed as if she was wearing her hat while her crossed arms strain to contain her magically enhanced bosom as her pastel beige pajama top strives to do the same while leaving a pale stretch of white skin visible between the lower hem and her matching pants.

At her side, Yunyun, wearing her usually lewd outfit, keeps looking between the four of us, fidgeting and blushing before gifting me a shy, tremulous smile that becomes that much more tender when she turns to Megumin.

All right, Kazuma, you’re a smart man, and you’ve got the character sheet to prove it. This isn’t a trashy harem manga; this is the kind of elevated harem story where sex is actually on the table.

The breakfast-laden table, if things keep going as they are.

But, Kazuma, as the borderline genius that you are in comparison to the sadly lacking standards of your current plane of existence, there’re a few things you should consider before grabbing Aqua’s hips and making her scream your name at the top of her lungs, hard enough that she will need to heal her throat before she can ask for more.

“Ah!” said screamer briefly interjects at the unexpected, nay, traitorous twitch the mental image brings.

Fine. OK. Let’s accelerate the timetable because this just became urgent. The countdown has already started before matters are taken out of your hands and between her thighs.

“Hn!” she says as matters twitch.

Right. Focus on something other than how you did not, in fact, bend Aqua over yesterday and made her beg for your cock on all fours as you finally feasted your eyes on that ass she keeps tempting you with, something that, just by itself, would give lie to your claims of higher than average intelligence, no matter how much blood was unavailable for the thinking process in the heat of the moment.

Focus.

“Kazuma…” Aqua dangerously whispers as she leans to her right to lay a gentle kiss on precisely the same spot in the middle of my chest she seems to always focus on.

Fuck it.

I grab her hips and lift her off me to her squealed delight, then I take a short step to the side to gently sit her on the table in front of me, her legs spreading to show me the bare, dark wood between thighs that are immediately unveiled by the short, black skirt with white ruffles riding up and doing a very poor job of hiding her wet, dripping sex from me.

She’s staring right into my eyes, her sky blue glimmering as her lips twitch into a silly, happy smile that I first saw yesterday.

She isn’t even looking down at where my cock is pointing straight at her with all the strength of my orcish instincts.

Yet, before I became Orc, I was Man.

I now have the might of my forebears, yes, but the cunning of my earlier ancestry hasn’t deserted me, and it is that cunning that allows me to see Darkness tightly grasping her left breast as she spreads her legs on her chair so that a wet patch can already be seen on the thin fabric draped over her crotch, or Yunyun staring at me with her mouth open, spellbound by what is about to happen.

Yes, those are entrancing visions. Tempting, alluring possibilities.

But amidst them lies Megumin muttering under her breath as a very familiar gleam shoots across her red irises.

“Rain check!” I yell as I turn right on my heel and run for the nearest window in a show of foresight and wisdom that humbles even me at how magnificently my intellect can shine through despite the direst of circumstances.

“Yunyun! Get him!” Megumin yells, thankfully discarding her incantation and buying me a few extra seconds to leap toward—

“Wha—right! Sorry about this, Mister Kazuma!”

Wait, what?

“Darkness under moonlight, shadow that binds! Grant me ties that will make my lover delight! Bonds of the age!”

Wha—

I trip.

Then faceplant and rip a sizeable portion of the red, expensive carpet with my tusks as I keep sliding forward until my face smashes against the section of the dining room’s wall beneath the closest window.

Ouch.

Also, ‘bonds of the age?’ Did Yunyun just—

“Good job,” Megumin says with that tone she has when she’s trying to be smug while being, in fact, mortally embarrassed.

Darkness is panting. I recognize those pants. I don’t want them aimed at something that just happened to me.

“What the—” Aqua starts to ask, her poor, overworked brain likely just catching up right now.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! It’s just, Megumin asked, and after using the spell on her yesterday—”

“We agreed not to talk about that!”

“But—”

“Not. A. Word.”

“But I taught you how important it is to have a safe word—”

“Aaaaaahhhhh! Not again! Don’t say that in front of him! He’s a pervert, of course he knows what that means—”

“A safe word?” Darkness asks, as if fascinated by the very concept.

“Yes!” Yunyun brightly replies, as if relieved to speak about this very important topic with someone other than a Megumin who’s about to explode, yet not in any of her two preferred ways. “It’s this word you’re supposed to say when you want things to really stop.”

“Really stop?” Darkness asks with what I know to be slowly blinking, azure eyes, and the kind of devotion most reserve for deities deserving of actual worship.

“Say… If you wanted to play at Kazuma raping you—” Yunyun’s educational lecture is briefly disturbed by the loud sound of what I hope to be Darkness swallowing rather than something else equally fluid-related. “Well, things can get intense, but if just saying ‘no’ would make him stop, then you wouldn’t really be able to enjoy the fantasy. So you agree beforehand that, no matter how hard you resist, beg, or plead, as long as you don’t say your safe word, then everything’s all right, and he should continue—”

“So, what’s your safe word, Megumin?” Aqua asks with the smug dripping off her like my cum dripped off her face after she watched me with Yunyun and Megumin. “Because I bet ‘explosion’ is what you yell when you—”

“Shut up! I don’t have a safe word! I have done nothing that would require a safe word! I’m a perfectly normal girl who—”

“I thought it was ‘first kiss?’” Yunyun says with a wondering tone, damning us all.

“Aaaaahhhhhh! That’s embarrassing! That’s mortifying! I want to die! I want to die! And if I die, I’m taking you all with me! Thou who are darker than even darkness—”

With an effort not only of might but will (because I’m trying very, very hard not to notice precisely where Yunyun’s ‘bonds of the age’ are digging in and around), I strain my Orcish muscles to break the shadowy, silky substance constraining me, and, as the motes of wispy smoke evaporate, I jump on top of the mini-archmage, sending the two of us tumbling to the carpeted floor and her chair clattering away as I cover her mouth with my hand.

“Ah, yes, if you’re using gags, you need to agree on some kind of signal that will do the same as a safe word, usually tapping with your hand,” Yunyun states, her voice sounding a bit lost even as I see Darkness staring up at her from the other side of the table as if she was experiencing a life-changing revelation.

Below me, and at the reminder of non-verbal safe words, Megumin’s eyes fly wide open, and she struggles to free herself. Likely of the burden of a continuous existence.

“And he’s still hard…” Aqua mutters from someplace right behind me.

Which, I mean…

“OK, look, it’s not my fault. I just jumped on top of a female adventurer, immobilized her, and restrained her from using her magic. Being erect is, at this point, a matter of biological imperative.”

Also, upon hearing Aqua’s words (just Aqua’s, mine are obviously innocuous and perfectly innocent), Megumin has gone suddenly still. Which… Honestly, I don’t know if that’s better. I mean, I kind of like the way her chest rubs against me when she struggles—no, Mister Police Officer, I can assure you I don’t know how all those doujins ended up in my hard drive. What’s that, you say? That lolis are for protecting and treasuring, not for lewding? Well, yes, I certainly agree, but I do think big-titted lolis of the shortstack variety are more the exception than the rule, given that they are basically MILFS scaled down on the Y axis, you know—

Before I can finish arguing my innocence against the remnants of a morality I brought with me from a world that has better use for it than this one, the unseen, traitorous Aqua kicks me.

It’s just that, well, she kicks my ass. Literally, not figuratively.

And that makes me drop forward on top of Megumin, her eyes once more flying open as my face goes past hers and my hips fall on top of flimsy pajama pants that seem to strain against my tip before she lets out a muffled sound against my palm and her eyes roll back.

“Ah… Didn’t the enhanced sensibility wear off? Why didn’t you say anything, Megumin?” Yunyun asks with fretting worry as she kneels by our side and clasps her (girl)friend’s hand between hers.

…

1. OK, Kazuma, calm down; you’re an orc. If this is an eroge RPG setting, you’re an apex predator. You shall know no fear, no matter how many of Yunyun’s spells make you think of a trainer from the Taimanin series trying to turn Megumin into a lust-addled wreck of a girl who will replace the Path of Explosions with the Path of the Cockslave.

I mean, Aqua is already geared for that position, and the last thing we need is redundancy in the party formation. We need our burst DPS, Megumin, not another… Uh… Tank? I mean, taking everything I want to throw at her would certainly merit the appellation, but I can’t see Aqua doing anything useful with that defense stat.

Healslut! Of course, how could I have forgotten! Darkness is already the tank and shall continue to be, so Aqua will slightly switch her role to healslut. And no, that isn’t just because I want to watch when she finally manages to convince Megumin that she needs some healing, and… Wait, would that be NTR against Yunyun? I don’t want to introduce the concept into the setting, just in case it’s not already part of it, and I’d be doing something unforgivable. Possibly to myself, further down the line.

No, wait, Vanir-chan explicitly said she wanted to NTR Aqua yesterday, so—

“Hmmmmph!” Megumin yells against my palm, her entire body shivering as, for no reason whatsoever, my cock twitches against her hard enough that the tip of my tip pushes her pants inside her.

“Mister Kazuma! Please, Megumin is not in the right state to take your gigantic, throbbing cock!” the gentle, rabbit-like girl says as she, still holding Megumin’s hand, grasps my cock and pulls me out of the tight crevice and on top of the flat belly of my archmage.

… She isn’t letting go.

“Oh. Oh, dear, you’re… really hard, aren’t you?” she asks, smiling at me with a gentle, reassuring, slightly tremulous tone as Megumin’s eyes bulge in what my experience tells me is likely PTSD of the auditory-induced variety.

“Oh no, you don’t,” Aqua says as she kneels down on my other side and shoves her head between Megumin and me before swallowing my cock’s head until her lips reach the dainty hand of the Crimson Magic Clan’s future leader.

This time, it’s my eyes that widen as I turn to look at Darkness, my actual girlfriend, who’s…

Who has her nightgown pulled up to her waist and is slowly masturbating as she watches me get blown by her teammate, hold down her other teammate, and be jerked off by whatever Yunyun is. Team mascot? Moral support? A living example of how we should always strive to overcome adversity no matter how bleak the present, the past, and the most likely future? Megumin’s trainer?

Yeah, at least one of those.

“Little help?” I mutter through clenched tusks right before Aqua decides to twirl her tongue around my slit, loudly swallowing every dollop of precum that comes out before a rhythmic sloshing signals her joining Darkness in her onanistic explorations.

“Wha—you need more? Kazuma! You are an insatiable beast! A ravager of women! It is my solemn duty as a knight of the kingdom to keep your boundless lust under control so as to keep the female adventurers of the city safe!” she says as she stands up before throwing her nightgown away, the piece of white fabric fluttering through the air far more gently than Darkness breasts jiggle at the sudden motion.

Megumin’s eyes seem to be… kinda focused on the spectacle.

Aqua’s far more concerned with other matters.

“I… Mister Kazuma, do you want me to help?” Yunyun asks as she gently slides her hand down my shaft, briefly pushing between Megumin and me in a way that makes the shortstack shudder, and then gently cups my balls, caressing them like I never knew I needed.

I’m pretty sure that, in the future, when I look back at this very moment and the chain of events that will inevitably unfold from it in such a way as to ensure maximum emotional damage, I’ll remember how Aqua’s tongue felt on my tip, how Megumin’s breasts brushed against my chest through her thin, strained top, how Darkness’ entire body bounced as she walked toward me with hip-swaying steps that gave Aqua even more to delightedly suckle out of me, and how Yunyun’s voice was so gentle that only her delicate touch could rival it. I’ll remember all of these extenuating circumstances and come to a single conclusion:

That past Kazuma was a fucking asshole, and I should allow him no mercy for wrecking my life.

Still, as I currently am past Kazuma, and it’s been established that I am an asshole, I can only look into Yunyun’s crimson eyes, shining bright enough that I can’t even dip my gaze to look straight down her exposed cleavage in that revealing outfit of hers that’s making so much more sense since I learned about her choice of recreational spells, and nod dumbly.

… OK, when you look back at this moment, future Kazuma? Remember that blooming smile, the way it made our heart beat even harder than Aqua’s best efforts, and fuck off with your sanctimonious complaints.

This was all worth it. Whatever this is.

“I… I’m glad. I never knew if I would be able to use this spell, but I’m so glad I learned it,” she whispers as Megumin suddenly goes pale beneath me.

… Future Kazuma? This is me, past Kazuma. Look, some things may have been said in the heat of the moment that I don’t actually mean, and I just wanted to make sure there are no hard feelings—

“Mankind, you are an ignorant race. How foolish it is to believe your kind rules the Earth. Know now that you are not alone; there are unseen worlds that exist parallel to yours. These are the worlds of the Makai, a race of demons. And the Jujinkai, those that are half-man and half-beast. There is an ancient legend, a prophecy foretelling the appearance of a super being every three thousand years. He is called the Chojin! A god above all gods, the Overfiend! The Chojin will appear through the body of a human, and with his great power, he will unite the three worlds. He will create a new world, a world of peace and harmony. His time has now come!” Yunyun declares.

… Fuck.

The room darkens as a violet circle slowly spins and grows beneath Yunyun, growing in size and brightness with every accelerating revolution until it reaches the beige walls, alien symbols crawling beneath me, Megumin frantically shaking her head as soon as she catches sight of one of them.

But Yunyun’s still concentrating, the magic gathering around her as thick as the haze of a mixed-gender hot spring in an all-ages anime. Soon, the entire room is bathed in a night only broken by the pulsing light of her spell circle, geometries more ancient than man dancing in reflections over painted walls and now opaque windows.

Then she opens her eyes, flashing with the same light as her spell, and Yunyun and whatever else is behind violet-streaked crimson look straight at me, holding me still as every instinct in my body, human or orcish, screams at me to run.

Her lips part, and I—

“Legend of the Overfiend! Urotsukidoji!” Yunyun declares, the magic around her roaring.

And I sprout… tentacles.

Because of course I do.

Yunyun gasps and falls on the red carpet beside me as Aqua keeps her lips wrapped around my cock without breathing, even as a veritable bouquet of phallic tentacles writhe past her from my groin.

And Megumin facepalms. Which, given I’m still covering her mouth, kinda stings.

Slowly, I retract the muting hand and look at the only conscious person who may be able to tell me what just happened.

“The moron did purchase the entire sexual spells tree,” she mutters as she looks to the softly snoring Yunyun with what one not versed in the ways of the tsundere may identify as mere fond exasperation.

I’m onto you, yuri fiend.

Not into you at the moment, but… well…

My tentacles seem to be… wiggling.

And Darkness grabs one.

“What… What are these supposed to do?” she asks with the naivete of someone without access to the internet who just learned what a safe word is minutes ago.

Slowly, almost fearfully, Aqua gets off my cock with a loud, popping noise, and falls to her knees.

Then she trembles and points at where Darkness is grabbing the green tube of flesh that seems to be curiously looking at her.

“That… That… The forbidden invocation,” she says, her voice shaking and…

Wait.

“Seriously?” I ask as I lean away from a momentarily displeased Megumin to sit back on my haunches in a seiza position that my new body seems better able to withstand than my old one.

Any and all implications about Japan having hypothetical orcish ancestors are now less baseless than moments ago, but I think I should focus on my new organs.

Particularly seeing how Darkness’ idle curiosity in turning one of my new appendages this way and that is… kinda noticeable.

As in, there’s very little doubt in my mind about what these are for. And it’s taking me quite a bit of effort to limit their movement to mere, expectant wiggling.

“It’s… It’s an evil sealed since ages ago! Just calling this small aspect of it could… could…”

“Could?”

“I don’t know! But it won’t be good!”

“Seriously? An ancient demon sealed before the age of man, and all you know is that it ‘won’t be good?’ What use is having a goddess in the party if you can’t even provide exposition?”

“I can expose myself plenty! Look at what I’m wearing!”

“That’s not what exposition means, you moron goddess!”

“Well then, stop exposing yourself if you’re so smart!”

“Oh, I’m going to do you one better—”

“Ka—Kazuma?!” Darkness interjects, breaking Aqua’s and mine routine in a very inconsiderate way that points toward controlling tendencies that, as a good boyfriend, I should try to get a hold of before they become a concern in our nascent relationship.

“What is it—oh.”

I… Look at Darkness.

Darkness, naked, her arms pressed to her sides as a single tentacle wraps tightly around her belly and forearms, making her squirm as she’s lifted above the red carpet, peering nervously down at me as the upper half of the tentacle binding her sways from side to side in front of her face like a snake trying to decide whether she’s dinner or not.

“Kazuma, I… Whatever happens, I want you to know that…” she looks straight at me, momentarily ignoring her captor as she gathers her courage before she closes her eyes and screams: “My safe word is ‘arranged marriage!’”

Then, as something inside my brain refuses to process the scene, the tentacle whips forward and thins before wrapping twice around each of Darkness’ round breasts, lifting them up and pressing them together right before it shoves itself up between them and into Darkness’ still open mouth.

Her eyes shoot wide open, and I feel myself go past the tight ring of her throat before she shudders, throws her head back, and something drips down her thighs.

I blink, trying to process the image of my girlfriend being tentacle raped by myself and being deprived of the use of her safe word right after learning of its power. Not to mention the… tactile feedback.

Unfortunately, as indecisive as I may sometimes be when it comes to pondering matters of the heart (as has been previously established with my undue reticence to get into Megumin’s bed even after being given her mother’s approval—and really, in a pseudo-medieval setting, that’s as much as you need, no matter how much Megumin may have or not pretended to protest the societal mores in which she was born), my new additions seem to have their own ideas.

In this particular instance, this means that I’m now holding up Yunyun, Megumin, and Aqua, in increasing order of panicked resistance.

“Kazumaaaaaa! Don’t you dare rape me with a sealed evil from beyond the stars!” the tearful goddess says.

“You can’t rape the willing!” I repeat my earlier, flawless legal defense.

“Yunyun’s unconscious!” Megumin protests, for once dropping the tsun façade to show the true depths of her caring for her oldest companion.

That Is, a mild concern for her being raped while sleeping as deeply as in one of those ‘sleep attack’ games. Truly, Megumin, your bleeding heart is broader than the horizon itself.

“She gave me these! It’s hard to think she didn’t know what would happen!” I logically object.

“Have you met her?!” Megumin counters, her own logic utterly flawed and full of holes.

I hope. Let me see if I can come up with one.

“Kazuma! Kazuma!” Aqua cries out, yet again getting in the way of the progress of science. A science that may be slightly impeded by Darkness noticeably swallowing around the flesh tube shoved straight down her throat.

“Yes, Kazuma here—”

“Drop that stupid gag and stop tearing up my uniform! Aaaaahhhh! It was really, really expensive!”

…

No.

“Just… how expensive?” I say, breaking the sudden silence filling the room only marred by Yunyun’s gentle, soft, cute snoring.

And Darkness’ sloshing, but I’m far too focused to let a mere titjob combined with a deepthroat distract me.

“I…” Aqua looks worriedly at the two tentacles peering at her face, who may not be distracted by what’s going on with the blonde hanging in mid-air, but sure seem to be interested in maybe emulating their more enterprising sibling.

She doesn’t see the ones below her.

“Aqua…” I growl in warning as I stand up without, somehow, shifting their respective positions.

“I… It does look good on me, doesn’t it?” she says with a tremulous smile as her thighs shift against one another while a single, thin tentacle lifts the front of her skirt to show me a soft patch of blue, glittering hair.

“Aqua,” I growl, no longer in warning.

“I needed matching sets! They gave me a discount because of it! It was a smart trade!”

“Matching—just how many porn maid uniforms did you buy?!”

“Well, two for Darkness, two for Megumin, one for Yunyun, one for Wiz, five for me—”

“Why the—one for Wiz! Are you—why?! Why would you buy Wiz a porn maid uniform?! You despise the undead—”

“But you like her!” she says, eyes still full of panic even as a slight, pink tinge blooms over her cheeks.

I… blink at her.

Then, not at all out of embarrassment at Aqua deciding to offer me a troupe of porn maids catered to my personal preferences, I shove a tentacle into her mouth.

“Hmmmmphhh!” she says, showing her appreciation for my considerate gesture of gratitude.

“Ah… Kazuma, are you really going to—” Megumin stupidly asks.

And so, I focus.

The tentacles are… weird. They feel like a natural part of me (particularly in how natural both Aqua and Darkness’ tongues feel on them), but they are still unlike anything I ever had before. Maybe the most apt comparison is that they are like tongues, if, you know, tongues were longer than I am taller, able to change length and thickness with a thought, far nimbler than actual tongues, and as sensitive as a cock yet in no way overwhelming me with too much sensory input while normally Aqua and Darkness tag-teaming me would be almost enough to force me into the ugliest ahegao ever seen.

That is, not like tongues at all.

That being said, they are intuitive enough to use, so…

I delicately lower Megumin to the ground and unwrap her as she blinks at me in surprise before I move Yunyun in front of her and free her suddenly enough that she falls forward, forcing Megumin to hug her ‘friend’ to steady her, their foreheads resting against one another as Yunyun makes a criminally cute moue of sleepy discomfort.

Then, just as I can visualize Megumin’s brain short-circuiting (and Aqua frantically circles the head of her dedicated tentacle with all the enthusiasm of an exorcist who just learned about succubi), I wrap a tentacle around the two Crimson Magic Clan representatives and lift them off the ground before said tentacle bravely slithers between their bodies, shoves its way past two pairs of delightfully jiggly breasts, and pokes its head between two sets of plush lips that were wrapped around my cock not that long ago.

What can I say? I’m a sucker for nostalgia.

I blame the gaming industry.

“Ka—Ka—Ka—Kazuma!” Megumin yells, her eyes almost crossing as she stares at the tip dripping with precum wiggling in and out of her cleavage and drenching her pajamas badly enough that they stick both to delightful mounds and to my tentacle.

“Uh?” Yunyun replies, her eyes slowly opening.

And then I suddenly lower the tentacle until the head is just nestled between the bouncier parts of the two, drag them to me, and echo one of my greatest feats:

“Now, kiss,” I say as I grasp the back of their heads and push them together.

Megumin’s eyes go wide as Yunyun’s close in happy, sleepy acceptance before she hungrily (yet tenderly, softly, and giving any and all chances for retreat) takes the lips of her rival.

Before long, Megumin leans forward with a suppressed moan, and the movements beneath their cheeks assure me that plenty of tongue is involved by this point.

So, regretfully yet considerately abstaining from breaking their kiss so that they can engage in a double blowjob (the yuriest of heterosexual acts), I slide another tentacle around their waists, lowering both Megumin’s pants and Yunyun’s (purple lace, naughty) panties off wiggling, cooperative hips, and then make said tentacle glide through the gap between two pairs of plush legs, their flesh molding to the thick shape as I make sure to press upward with every undulating thrust, baptizing this part of me with twin sources of sacred water.

I’m briefly surprised by Megumin shaking and trying to scream like a banshee despite Yunyun’s best efforts, but the most likely explanation is that her ‘enhanced sensitivity spell still hasn’t worn off.

…

Ah, well. Anyway!

With an effort of will that should be sung of in sagas, I turn away from the display of the two girls once more reaffirming their pure friendship to see Darkness staring up at the ceiling with blank eyes as my tentacle keeps shoving in and out of her throat as it mauls her delightfully jiggly breasts.

Also, Aqua is kinda glaring at me.

With the sigh of someone facing the unavoidable (such as death, taxes, and feisty tsunderes), I take my tentacle out of her mouth.

Then I immediately wrap it around the upper part of her thighs hard enough to sink into delightfully soft flesh and thrust it up between and past her cheeks, finally giving the Platonic ideal of butts some of the attention it deserves.

“Ah! You—you beast!” she says, her tone part genuine indignation, part Darkness’ indignation.

“You just made my morning very complicated,” I say, arms crossed as if I was a respectable authority figure and not, you know, molesting four girls at once.

“Wha—me?! You—you have tentacles!”

“And this all stemmed from you acting possessive and riling up Megumin,” I calmly explain as I tighten the tentacle around Darkness’ tits suddenly enough that her nipples shiver while I burrow the tip of another enterprising member into Yunyun’s exposed cleavage.

“I—I did no such thing! I just wanted you to—to… You said I was yours…” she mutters, avoiding my gaze.

… Oh, so this is the fabled power of the ‘doki doki.’ Truly, such a dangerous weapon should never be mishandled.

So I take a couple of steps toward her and shift her body in mid-air as I free her arms of the tentacle wrapping them to her sides.

Then I cup her cheeks between hands large enough to dwarf her and lean forward until her ragged breath washes over my lips.

“You are. You are mine,” I say.

And I claim her.

My tongue shoves past her own glossy lips, pushing her down until I reach her throat, and then I push past it, the stimulation I take from her eerily similar to what Darkness is offering me right now, and I thrust the lower tentacle harder, her delightful cheeks rippling against me with every movement as her eyes roll back before she closes them, her fingers running over my bald scalp as she does her best to swallow my tongue.

I can feel the heat and wetness of her pussy. I can feel it calling.

Yet I resist. Because there’s one last thing I need to do.

So I slowly, agonizingly slowly, pull out of first her throat, then her lips, and then lean back the barest amount so that our breaths still mingle between the two of us as her breasts almost spill out of the lowcut hemline of her askew maid uniform, the top of them seeming to scorch my chest.

“You are mine, Aqua. Mine. And so, you’ll do your best to satisfy your Master’s wishes.”

She stares at me, sky-blue eyes not blinking even as they tremble.

Then she… nods.

“Good,” I purr against her.

And then I bring Darkness to us and spin Aqua around so she’s face to face with the woman whom I gave my first time to.

Or, well, face to something else. Something quite involved in said virginity thing.

“Wha—” Aqua starts to, I suspect, protest.

And so I take my tentacle out of Darkness’ throat and use it to cradle her nape and gently push her into looking down at us.

“Uh? Kazuma? I… I didn’t say the safe word,” she says, doing her best to shatter my self-control.

Yet I’m an orc! A bastion of strength and will! One who looks at civilization with disgust for its soft-hearted ways! I shall not be swayed by a mere knight with curves to die for, long blonde hair that shimmers in the morning light, and eyes that remind me of every tender moment we shared! I shall stay my course, tread the path I decided upon! I am the captain of my soul!

“Ah! Kazuma, what the Hell?!” Aqua says as I shove her right against Darkness’ pussy.

“Shut up! You two shut up! You are my girlfriend and my cockslave, respectively, and, or interchangeably, I don’t even care anymore, so you’re going to get along, and we’re going to solve this jealousy issue one step at a time!”

“But… I am not jealous?” Darkness, cuckqueen that she is, posits with genuine confusion.

“You are not. Of course you are not,” I say, remembering just precisely what went down in Wiz’s shop yesterday.

“You are not?!” Aqua asks with burning outrage. “But—but I’m fucking him! I, a beautiful goddess with no equal among earthly women, am taking his cock for myself!”

“Hn! Yes! Tell me how a dirty sow like me can’t even compare to your heavenly figure!”

“You can’t!”

“No, not like that; add a little more detail—”

“Enough!” I say before Darkness can Darkness too much. “Aqua, don’t you see how she disrespects you? How she doesn’t even consider you to be competition? She thinks you’re below her, not a threat at all—”

“I mean—”

“Not now, Darkness; shut up and listen to me explain what you think. See, Aqua, how unconcerned she is? How even now she’s pushing her chest forward, those tits bigger than yours bouncing up and down with every thrust of my tentacle? See how little she cares for the shorter girl who’s literally beneath her?”

“I—I—Darkness! How dare you?!”

“She dares! She dares because she follows Eris!”

“Gasp!” Aqua vocalizes in what I’m pretty sure is still actual shock rather than her playing things up, but I’d rather not check and wreck the ongoing momentum.

“Gasp! Yes! She has an actual goddess in her party, yet she still worships your apprentice! And you know what the only thing you can do is? The only thing Justice itself demands that you do?”

“What? What?! Tell me, Kazuma!”

“You’re gonna eat her pussy until she worships you!”

For a brief moment, there’s silence only broken by Yunyun and Megumin’s delirious kissing noises as even my tentacles still in silent contemplation of the moment where history itself will tilt one way or the other.

Then Aqua looks up into Darkness’ eyes and, with a defiant tone that would make Vanir-chan shudder in something other than eager NTR anticipation, whispers:

“Why won’t you worship me, you masochistic sow?”

Then she dives forward and, amid wet, sloshing noises, Darkness’s eyes cross as her jaw slackens.

Nodding to myself, satisfied that I have once again successfully navigated the treasonous waters of interpersonal relationships, I grab Aqua’s hips, briefly admire her bare, astoundingly rotund ass, and shove my cock right into her pussy.

“Hmph!” she yells against Darkness as my girlfriend slides her arms beneath the tentacle binding them to grasp the blue hair loop with desperate strength.

I look at her. I look up at my girlfriend’s azure eyes as I rail another woman against her sex, feeling Aqua contracting around me every time Darkness shifts her hips below her lips.

She’s… Her mouth is open in something that looks almost like agony even as the tip of my titfucking tentacle gently brushes her cheek in a tender gesture that leaves a glimmering trail behind. Her breasts are covered with traces of her falling saliva and my own precum. Her tongue keeps falling out of her mouth as she struggles to take it back in.

And she’s looking at me with so much love and devotion that it almost hurts.

So I tighten my hold on Aqua and go deeper inside of her, making her scream against Darkness as I speed up, the tentacle that is hotdogging her lengthening just enough to twist back and slap her cheeks one at a time.

Aqua shudders, and I bind her wrists behind her back with yet another tentacle that slides and pumps between her closed fingers, forcing her to arch her whole body as her tied legs make her feel even tighter than yesterday.

Then a splash against my thighs signals an orgasm that Darkness manages to silence as the blonde throws her hips forward, Aqua’s face lost between plush legs and the valley between them.

I… I focus on them. On my two women, grasping and touching, caressing, rubbing, and all but tasting their bodies as they give me everything I could ever ask for.

Then… Then I feel myself about to finish, both my cock and tentacles pulsing with a burning warmth that I’m eager to share with them.

“It’s so… they look so beautiful…” Yunyun mutters somewhere below me.

With a pang of panic, I tear my eyes off Aqua’s ass rippling with each and every thrust against it and look down to see Yunyun kneeling on my left and Megumin on my right, both naked, each of them holding a pulsing tentacle in each hand.

Yunyun smiles up at me tenderly, with that same loving care that she showed me in her bedroom and made me decide I should affectionately mind-break her.

Megumin’s left eye twitches, but she’s still jerking off two of my phallic appendages, so I would venture she’s not as angry as she could be.

“He’s just… He’s just thinking with his dick. It’s all he’s doing nowadays,” she bitterly mutters.

“I… I don’t think so. I think he… I think Mister Kazuma likes us, but maybe it’s just wishful thinking and—”

“I like you. I adore you. You’re an amazing girl, and you don’t even know how much your courage shines to a former shut-in like me,” I immediately say. Because fuck hormones and emotional openness, and I just knew sex had to have some drawbacks.

Yunyun, still slowly jerking me off at double the rate usually possible, shoots me a heartbreakingly warm smile.

“Mister… Mister Kazuma, I…” she says, struggling to continue.

And then Megumin violently swallows two of my tentacles at once, struggling to keep them both in her mouth as she jerks them off with what seems to be more determined defiance than emotional openness.

Oi, Megumin, learn to read the room. There is no place for your rancorous shenanigans in this wholesome scene.

“Fuck!” I succinctly expose my thoughts on the subject.

Yunyun’s smile quavers into something smaller yet still brightly happy, and she in turn brings one of her captive tentacles to her mouth before delicately kissing it as she strokes the other one up and down.

Aqua quakes around my buried cock, Darkness throws her head back to scream her religious revelation at the high ceiling, and I—

The rush of searing warmth hits me all at once, each and every tentacle jerking as my cock throbs between Aqua’s folds, and, as soon as I shoot the first jet of sperm, as I force her into another orgamsm, I can see Darkness’ face and open lips being showered with it as I feel Yunyun’s mouth filling up and bursts of uncontrollable liquid exploding (heh) out of Megumin’s through the gap between the two tentacles shoved inside it.

I roar, pulling Aqua toward me as hard as I can as I keep filling her womb, as more and more of me ends up splattering out of her, renewed with each subsequent jet as I fall to my knees and Darkness wails before I shove her dedicated tentacle right down her throat, holding her as steady as I can as I let go of Aqua to hug Megumin and Yunyun’s shoulders, mashing their bare breasts to my chest and the goddess’ half-covered back.

Then I slump backward, still shooting even more sperm out of every single one of my tips, bathing the four girls' bodies in white as they quiver, moan, and cling to me.

Until finally, exhausted, I lie on the carpet that will need to be replaced, and not just because of the tear I ripped through it with my tusks, and allow myself to enjoy the comfort of two girls lying on my chest, one sprawled on top of my legs, and another one convulsing inside and around my tentacles.

It is a moment of peace. Of fulfillment. Of, dare I say, harmony.

Of course, that means it can’t last.

“Kazuma!” Wiz’s voice echoes from the entrance as the door that should’ve been locked slams against the wall. “Kazuma, Vanir-chan says I can no longer afford to pay rent! Kazuma, he says I should ask to live with you! What can I do, Kazuma?!” the tearful mistress of the undead says as she bursts into the room, the teary tone a prelude to me seeing her crying face as she’s once again forced to confront the failure of her business acumen.

And, well…

Among other things.

“Wha—wha—wha—!” Wiz whaes.

“Forbidden… magic…” Aqua exhaustedly explains before once again dropping her face on top of my right shin.

Wiz falls to her knees, covering her mouth with her hands and, inadvertently, soaking her robes with three puddles of orcish sperm.

I hope she can afford to do her own laundry, because, after Aqua’s sartorial expenses, I don’t think I can.

 

 

==================

Hello there! This bout of green fever is brought to you by both my own insanity and my supporters voting for it one too many times in a row until it became a monthly series. It currently has ten chapters, nine of which can be found on QQ, and the tenth one on my Patreon. I’ll be posting the chapters here twice weekly, on Wednesday and Friday, until we’re caught up. 

Also, I’d like to thank my credited supporters on Patreon: Niklarus, Tinkerware, Varosch, and Xalgeon. If you feel like maybe giving me a hand and helping me keep writing wholesome orc rape, consider joining them or buying one of my books on Amazon. Thank you for reading!