The next day, they spent the morning going over the catalog software, Eliza showing Cassie how to look up books and recognize where in the house they were from the catalog entry, how to enter new books into the catalog, and so forth. That only took a couple of hours, and after a break for lunch, they started packing for their trip.

Friday morning, they left around the time Cassie usually got up, and took their time getting to Greensboro, using state highways instead of the interstate, detouring to see Fort Dobbs near Statesville and the World’s Largest Chest of Drawers in High Point. They got into Greensboro just after three, while Eliza’s parents were still at work, so they hung out at the mall, eating lunch at the food court and browsing the clothing stores, jewelry stores and shoe stores, and so killed time until Eliza’s parents would be getting home from work. Eliza didn’t buy much, having bought so many new clothes recently, but Cassie bought several things and insisted on buying something nice to celebrate Eliza’s completion of the internship assignment. After some initial reluctance, Eliza picked out a tasteful silver necklace.

At five-thirty, they left the mall and Eliza gave Cassie directions to the home her parents had lived in since she was nine years old, on the north side of town. A few minutes after they left the mall, Eliza texted her parents to let them know they’d be there soon. When they arrived, she was a bit relieved to see both her parents’ cars in the driveway; she wouldn’t have to come out twice, once with each parent. But she was still extremely nervous.

Cassie unbuckled her seatbelt and put on the parking brake, and was opening her door when she seemed to notice that Eliza was sitting still, not undoing her seat belt. And her hands were gripping the seat.

“Are you okay?” Cassie asked.

“I’m terrified.”

“Come on. I’ll be with you. And if they’re assholes about it, we can go and stay in a motel tonight.”

Eliza took a deep, shuddering breath. “Okay. Let’s do this.” She unbuckled her seat belt and opened the door.

They walked up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the doorbell. An anxious moment later, Eliza’s mom opened the door; her dad was standing a few paces behind her. Both had smiles on their faces that vanished a moment later.

“I’m sorry, young ladies, but this isn’t a good time for whatever this is. We’re expecting visitors any moment –” her mom began.

“Hey, Mom and Dad,” she said with a small wave. “This is my friend Cassie Merrick.”

Her parents stared at them for a long moment before either of them spoke. Then, “Elijah?” they both asked.

“Yeah, it’s me. I just figured some stuff out and made some –”

Her dad interrupted her. “Why are you wearing that?” Her mom talked over him, saying, “I thought you said your new friend was a man – Casey, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, I can explain, just –”

“Your voice…” her mom said. “You sound like a woman. And…” Her eyes glanced a little lower, and she didn’t say anything about Eliza’s breasts, but she didn’t need to.

“I’m transgender,” Eliza said. “I figured it out a few weeks ago. I wanted to tell you in person, because I figured it would be better than over the phone.”

“That’s why you sounded different on the phone,” her mom said. “But why do this?” She glanced at Cassie. “And why bring her along, when… I mean, shouldn’t this be a family conversation?”

“Don’t mind me,” Cassie said. “I just came along for moral support.”

“Can we come in and sit down?” Eliza asked.

Her parents hesitated long enough before answering that Eliza jumped to the worst conclusions, that they were going to disown her without even hearing her out and never let her darken their door again. But after a few moments, her Mom said, “Of course, come on in. Uh, do either of you want something to drink?”

“No, thanks,” Cassie said, and Eliza shook her head as she made her way to the sofa and sat down. Cassie sat beside her, and her parents took the easy chair and cushioned rocking chair they normally sat in.

“So,” Eliza began, “Cassie helped me figure things out, kind of.” She realized she’d said the wrong thing when her mom and dad both gave Cassie simultaneous glares and both started speaking at once, raising their voices.

“No, not like you’re thinking,” Eliza said firmly. “She didn’t ‘turn me trans’ or anything. She just cleared up my misconceptions about trans people when she came out to me, and once I knew what being trans actually meant, it just took a few days to realize that I was trans too.”

“But how?” her dad asked. “You look like you’ve been, uh, getting medical treatment for this for years, not a few weeks.”

“It’s called transitioning,” Eliza said. "And I can show you how in a moment. This is part of why I wanted to tell you in person, not on the phone.

Eliza focused on a bottle of the weird-tasting diet drink her mom liked which she’d left sitting on the end table, and started casting the levitation spell. Her mom and dad both interrupted with questions about what she was saying and why she was talking in a foreign language, but she didn’t let them interrupt her spell. A few moments later, the bottle lifted off the table and started to orbit around Eliza’s head.

“Ta-da!”

Cassie did a kind of Vanna White gesture, pointing at the levitating bottle with both hands and a big smile. It didn’t exactly go over well.

Eliza’s parents both stared at her for a few moments before they burst into further questions. Eliza couldn’t understand everything they were saying, with them constantly interrupting each other, but she got the gist. “So yeah, it’s magic. And that’s how I’ve transitioned so much in just a few weeks since I figured out I was trans.”

“So when Monica said you’d gotten involved with the occult…” her mom began, looking worried.

“It’s not like you’re thinking,” Eliza said hastily. “Apparently there are several kinds of magic, and the kind I’ve been learning doesn’t have anything to do with the kind that involves making deals with demons. It’s just taking advantage of little-known laws of nature.”

“And who told you that?” her dad asked.

Eliza didn’t have a good answer. She still didn’t know who had written and edited her spellbook. But she said, after a moment’s hesitation, “…The book I’ve been learning from. I found it in Cassie’s library, back around the middle of May, and started learning to use magic.”

“Can you use this magic to change back?”

“I could,” Eliza said. “Most of the spells I’ve cast on myself work both ways. One of them even has to be cast every day or my hormone levels will go back to what’s normal for a man. But – well, originally I was planning to change back before I came to visit you for a few days at the end of the summer, and not come out to you until later. After it had been long enough since we’d seen each other that I could have plausibly transitioned the normal way. I didn’t feel ready to tell you, not until I’d figured out more about myself and what kind of woman I am and all, but when I thought about casting the spells to change my body back to what it was, I felt gross and disgusted with the very idea, and couldn’t stand to do it. So when Cassie suggested a road trip, I made up my mind to tell you, even though I wasn’t sure I was ready.”

“I am very concerned,” her dad said. “About that, yes, but mainly about the magic. How can you be sure the book you found is reliable? I mean, obviously the magic works…” He waved vaguely at Eliza and the diet drink bottle that was still lazily floating around her head. “But what do you really know about the source of that magic power? It sounds like it’s kind of addictive, if you thought about changing back and couldn’t stand the idea of it.”

“That’s just being transgender. I’ve vaguely felt like something was wrong for a long time, but I didn’t realize what until recently. Until then, my body was sort of uncomfortable, but I could live with it. Once I knew exactly what was wrong with it, though, it got a lot more uncomfortable, and when I realized I could use magic to fix it quicker than most trans people who have to rely on hormones and surgery, of course I jumped at the chance. I don’t want to change back because that would mean going back to feeling really uncomfortable with my body, not because I’m addicted to magic. – Actually, I think if I were addicted to magic, I’d just be switching back and forth because I enjoyed casting the spells more than living with their results? Or just using a lot of spells that don’t involve changing my body, like the library science spells I’ve been learning.”

“Even if it’s not addictive, I’m still concerned about it being dangerous,” her dad said.

“Can you tell us more about it?” her mom put in. “How you found the book and what all spells are in it?”

So Eliza told them how she’d found the book and realized it was magical after it started changing in her hands, and then quickly summarized many of the spells she’d learned so far. Cassie pitched in a little, telling them how she’d helped her with her transition.

“It sounds like those spells led you down a path to thinking you’re transgender,” her dad said when she’d finished. Eliza gaped at him.

“Toward figuring it out, maybe. If I hadn’t been transgender, I don’t think it would have offered me those spells at all, or at least not most of them. The introduction said it would offer me a mix of basic spells that would help me learn the fundamentals of magic, and spells that would help me achieve my personal goals or fulfill my needs, conscious or subconscious. And, well, several of them will help me be a better librarian, and several of them helped me gradually figure out I’m trans, or helped me transition faster than normal after I’d already figured it out.”

“But can’t you see how wrong it is?” her mom pleaded.

“No, not really? I mean, I’ve heard people say it’s wrong, but the reasons they gave didn’t really make sense when I thought about them.”

“Like what?” her mom asked.

“Well, people say ‘God made you this way, you shouldn’t try to change it,’ but if we applied that to other problems people are born with, people would complain about doctors helping blind people see, in cases where they can do that with surgery. Or making prosthetic legs and arms for people born without the whole set of limbs, or giving anxious and depressed people medicines to adjust their brain chemistry.”

“Those cases aren’t remotely similar,” her dad objected.

“Why? Gender dysphoria is something people are born with, like blindness or missing limbs sometimes are, and it’s something that makes people unhappy unless it’s treated.”

They continued talking for over an hour, switching topics back and forth between magic and gender issues, but it got more and more frustrating as Eliza realized she wasn’t going to change their minds, not any time soon. Finally, she said, “I don’t think we’re getting anywhere. Do you want to table this discussion and do something else?”

“Like eat,” her dad said.

“I’ll go finish fixing supper,” her mom said.

“Let’s get y’all’s luggage in while she’s working on that,” her dad added.

That was a hopeful sign, Eliza thought. They disapproved of her and Cassie being trans, but they were still letting them stay the night. “Yeah, we don’t have a lot of stuff. Just a couple of bags each.”

Between them, they carried everything from Cassie’s car in one trip. They put Eliza’s stuff in her childhood bedroom, and Cassie’s in the guest bedroom.

Eliza hadn’t changed the decorations of her room since senior year of high school, and not much then. The walls were mostly lined with bookshelves containing books she hadn’t had room for in her dorms, but the little bit of free wall space was covered with posters for contemporary Christian music groups she’d been sort of into in her teens, as well as a couple of literacy posters she’d gotten when the school library was throwing some old ones away. “Read or the Owl Will Eat You” was a particular favorite. As she was looking around, bathing in ambiguous nostalgia, Cassie stepped into the room and said, “Nice room. Oooh, is that Lud-in-the-Mist?” She stepped over to the nearest bookshelf and bent down.

“Yeah, I loved that book when I found it in a thrift store in middle school. I really should bring it with me and re-read it.”

“I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never seen a copy. Can I borrow it?”

“Sure. It’s not actually that rare, there was a reprint about fifteen years ago, but I didn’t find out about it until after I’d read this old copy several times.”

They continued chatting about books until Eliza’s mom came and told them the spaghetti was done. During supper, Eliza’s dad asked some more questions about Eliza’s gender discoveries over the summer. She answered them as best she could, at first, but after a few minutes her mom said, “Could we please not talk about that at the dinner table?” Conversation fell silent for a few awkward minutes until Cassie asked about one of the photos she’d seen in the living room, a picture of them and a twelve-year-old Eliza with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background. That led to reminiscences about that and other past vacations until after supper, when Eliza and Cassie volunteered to clean up.

“So,” Cassie asked in a low voice when Eliza’s parents had left the room, “has it been going better or worse than you expected?”

“A little better than I was afraid of,” Eliza replied, gathering up plates and silverware and bringing them to the dishwasher. “Still not great, though.”

“Yeah, it’s natural they would misgender you sometimes when they’ve had just a few hours to get used to you being a girl, but I don’t think they’ve even been trying.”

“I didn’t really expect them to. Not until they’ve had time to think about it, and realistically not even then. I’ll be happy if we can just hang out and be family.”

“You shouldn’t have to put up with this.”

“But I want to give them a fair chance. They may not be as accepting as your family probably is, but they’re more likely to accept me as a girl – at least eventually – than my aunt and uncle or grandparents.”

“Oof.”

They finished loading the dishwasher and washing the big pots by hand, then rejoined Eliza’s parents in the living room.

“Do y’all want to go for a walk?” Eliza suggested. “The sun’s just set, it’ll be cool.”

Her parents looked at each other. “Yeah, that might be a good idea. Let me get Josh on his leash so he can come with us.”

“You have a dog?” Cassie perked up and looked eager to meet him.

“Yeah, he’s in the back yard. Want to come with me?”

So Eliza followed Cassie and her dad as they went to the kitchen and got a couple of flashlights out of the drawer, and Josh’s leash, then out to the yard, where Josh, a five-year-old Norfolk terrier, white with a few brown patches, ran up to meet them. Eliza’s dad knelt down and attached the leash to his collar, while Cassie squatted and petted him several times.

“Who’s a good boy? Is it you, perhaps? I nearly think it is!” Eliza smiled and waited her turn to pet Josh. She didn’t know him as well as Posy, the dog who had lived with them when she was growing up. Posy had died in Eliza’s junior year of high school, and her parents had gotten Josh not long after Eliza went off to college, leaving them with an empty nest. But she’d gotten fond of him on her occasional visits home, especially the summers she’d spent with her parents in her first two years of undergrad.

After Eliza had her turn to pet Josh, they went out the side gate and met Eliza’s mom in the front yard, and walked down the street deeper into the subdivision – their usual route. Going the other direction would take them to a busy road within five minutes, while this way gave them almost an hour of walking before they exhausted the streets of their subdivision.

Eliza tried to make small talk about subjects unrelated to the elephants in the room, telling her parents about some of the rare and fascinating books she’d catalogued that summer, but soon found herself at a loss for words. Yes, she’d found a lot of fascinating books in Cassie’s collection, but none compared to the spellbook, or the other magic books she couldn’t read yet. Cassie picked up the slack, telling Eliza’s parents a little about the software she was developing. Eliza’s dad understood it a lot better than she did, and they got into a technical discussion that left out Eliza and her mom for a few minutes. Her mom trailed behind her dad, Cassie and Josh for a few moments, and Eliza fell back with her. Then her mom said, “So… when you said, a few weeks ago, that there was drama at church and you were thinking of going somewhere else… was that about, well, this?”

“Yeah,” Eliza said in a subdued voice. She should have known better than to hope they could go the entire walk without reverting to her transition. “A few days after I started transitioning, I went to church as usual, and…” She told her mom about being asked to leave, and about how her car had been vandalized, and how Brother Greg had apologized and taken up a collection to repaint her car, but she’d decided to go elsewhere anyway.

“I remember when I was a teen, someone came to Bethel in short shorts and a tank top, and the ushers asked her to go home and put on something more respectful of the Lord’s house.” Bethel was the church Eliza’s grandparents went to. “I don’t remember that ever happening at Centerpoint or Prince of Peace, though. People might speak to someone who’s dressed like they’re at the beach and ask them to reconsider, but they don’t ask them to leave… Your situation, though.” She paused, and Eliza’s mind again started jumping to the worst conclusions. “What were you wearing?”

“A high-collared blouse and an ankle-length skirt. Kind of like what I’m wearing now.”

“And you looked… like you look now?”

“Not quite. I’ve gotten another spell that helped with my hips and face since then, and one that shrank my Adam’s apple, and… well, mostly, but not quite.”

Her mom was quiet for a moment. Then: “I can sort of see how some people might think that’s disruptive of the worship service… not that I agree with them,” she said hastily. “But it’s understandable. If people are watching you and gossiping about you, they’re not paying attention to the prayers and music and sermons.”

“That’s their fault, not mine.” Eliza felt betrayed, despite her mom’s ambiguous claim to disagree with the people who’d kicked her out of the service. She didn’t say anything for a while, and soon quickened her pace to walk beside her dad and Cassie, whose conversation had turned from the technicalities of Cassie’s work to the misconduct of various big tech companies. Eliza was equally unable to contribute to this conversation, but didn’t feel as excluded as she had by the previous one.

When they returned to the house, it was well after nine. “I don’t know about y’all, but I think I need to go to bed,” Cassie said.

“Yeah, I expect I’ll go to bed too,” Eliza said.

“Good night,” her mom said. “Your dad and I will probably watch something before we go to bed, but we’ll keep it quiet.”

They hugged, and Eliza and Cassie went to their bedrooms. Despite being tired from a day of travel, Eliza tossed and turned without getting to sleep for over an hour. She finally gave up and turned on the bedside light, intending to grab something from the shelf that was within arm’s reach of her bed and read (she kept short story and essay anthologies there, for exactly that purpose). Not surprisingly, she found the spellbook on the bedside table. It probably wanted her to study; she hadn’t practiced any of her spells since yesterday. She wasn’t sure what she could do, though. She’d already practiced the search string spell and the air conditioning spell to mastery, and she didn’t want to cast the bone-shaping spell on herself again without a lot of research and planning. And maybe getting some more spells to help keep her safe while her bones were changing?

Then she remembered something. She got out of bed and went over to one of the other shelves, where she had various things displayed that she’d collected from nature over the years. Feathers, snail shells, turtle shells, pretty rocks, acorns, sweetgum balls… and the skull of a small animal, probably a squirrel. Would the bone-shaping spell work on a dead bone, as well as living? It was worth a try.

She sat down again, opened the book to chapter nine, set the tiny skull on her lap, and started casting the spell. Since she’d only cast it successfully twice before, and the other-directed version twice, it took a few tries, but on the fourth try she was rewarded by seeing the skull elongate by about fifty percent. Smiling, she continued practicing until she was reshaping the skull every time she tried.

She was starting to feel sleepy by then, so she checked whether chapter ten had unlocked. Not yet, but she could feel it was close. She laid back down and turned off the light.