Sir Turtle had safely crossed the road. After making sure of my lord’s safety, I wandered into the classroom albeit late. Fitting of a delinquent, isn’t it?

            “You’re finally here.” Sighed Finn-sensei.

            “What was it this time?” she asked.

            “A turtle! Man, he was one good-looking guy, I tell you. I was totally amazed at the beautiful legs he had.” I said with laughter. And the rest of the class laughed along. At this point, my morning adventures had apparently become a norm for them.

            “Okay, okay, just sit down. Hey Izumi-kun, can we talk after school again? This time it’s something different. Not the usual.”

            Not the usual makeup lessons. What could it be? Have I finally been expelled? Freed from the cursed place they called high school. I went to my seat, the seat near the window in the back row, in other words, the protagonist’s seat. For some reason, ever since I was born, I have always been confined to this one area of the room for seating arrangements. What a strange world. Could I possibly be the protagonist of this world? No, it can’t be, I’m a de facto bona fide delinquent.

            Sitting in the seat next to me was a beautiful girl… Why are there so many beautiful girls in this school? Well aside from that, her name was Hanami Yuzuki, a cool beauty with a foul mouth towards boys. Only I with such a fate, will be seated near this woman with astute beauty. Hopefully, I won’t be tasked with fixing her foul mouth like some poor soul in a rom-com. Well again these beautiful girls have nothing to do with me, so let’s leave it to that. This is just lip service for the fans after all. Fans of what? You tell me. How am I supposed to know, idiot?

            Hey, don’t look over here. Oh, she’s angry! Well, it’s the usual anyways. The readers wanted your description, but you’re just a beautiful girl, nothing more, idiot! You can’t say bad things to me while class is going on, idiot! I made funny faces to spite this beautiful cool beauty. It’s working, her face is turning red in anger. Her abuse is no more. If it’s the real world, you can’t verbally abuse me during class. Take that, cool beauty heroine! With a satisfied and triumphant feeling, I now ignored her and went to sleep until the time that lunch break would start.

            Do you know the seven mysteries of this school’s lunchtime? One, if you order the special, the next day you will gain superpowers. Or so it seems… However, the special is so rare and is never officially announced on the school’s website. How will you know when to order it? That would be simple! Just order it every day! But if you do and there is no special, you will get nothing but a bottle of water for your meal. And it’s not even cheap at all. You could buy 5 other meals just for the price of the special. I personally think it’s probably some cheap scam started by the cafeteria members to entice stupid students to order the special and get scammed out of their money. That said…

            “A special please!” There it was! Some stupid student was in the front of the line, with the ticket for the special meal. What could he be thinking? And of course, that student was me! Izumi Jun! Because of course. I the great Izumi Jun would not be fooled. I will one day gain superpowers by drinking this holy water. That was the secret. With one-hundred bottles of this stuff, I will gain the power to destroy the world.

            “Muhahahaaha!” 

            “What’s with this guy?”

            From behind me, I could hear the words of the common folk speaking. What lowly commoners, but this time I’ll forgive you, because it is the time to enjoy holy water, not fight over trivial affairs.

            Now how about the other six mysteries, you wonder? Don’t worry about it. I’ll explain everything in detail one day because I’m Izumi Jun, the voice of truth and reason.

            Now where to sit for today’s meal of holy water? Wouldn’t the courtyard be suitable? Ah yes, that would work.

            The courtyard of our high school was larger than the average high school’s. The flower garden was large and there was even a fountain! Along with a fountain, there were many porcelain tables and patios for the students to use. What a noble-looking place for me to rest! There!

            The Sakura tree and its large limbs dangling down as if it was hugging and protecting someone from the harshness of this world. The beautiful shade of pink, as if it was the first spring. Well, it’s April after all. The time of new beginnings, and the time of rainbows and sunshine.

            Lying on my back on the tree trunk, I enjoy my food by myself happily enjoying the warm spring breeze. It’s so warm that I can’t help but get sleepy. No, I need to go to class later. Just kidding. Bye-bye world. See you later.