This feels good.

Like, way too good.

Is this why guys are so goddamn horny all the time?

Allie’s spot had ceased its throbbing soreness and was now throbbing for a far different reason.

Christ, I should… I need to stop, I'm still in front of everybody!

But she had come too far along to stop now.

Kat clapped her hands together and jumped up from where she was still kneeling. “Well, how's about we get going then? I'm ready for some Chet specials!”

“Uhh… Can… can y'all hold on a bit longer?” Allie asked, trying to hold back a stammer. “I need to… get ready and shit.” Sudden inspiration. “Yeah, that's it, I need to take a shit!”

Should be enough time to give me some good cover for this operation…

She got up and started towards the bathroom, but Kat snapped her fingers at her. “Earth to Allan, we might have just discovered a new kink of yours but don't think for a second you’re going to delay us getting breakfast just so you can release your frustrations, got it? If you really need to use the bathroom, do it at Chet’s.”

Damn it.

“Can I at least get changed though?” She pulled at her shirt, displaying the puke stain from last night. “Completely forgot to take this off before passing out on the couch.”

Kat sighed. “Fine, but if you take longer than three goddamn minutes, we’re leaving you behind.” Allie ran into the bedroom with a hasty “yes ma’am”.

She poked her head into the closet and marveled at the sheer blandness of Allan’s clothing choices. Graphic tees, loose jeans, and even looser Bermuda shorts were hung up neatly on the racks. She hunted through them but graphic tees were never really her thing, and none of them were jumping out at her anyway. Finally, at the back of the closet, she spied some things she liked: a slim gray button-up shirt patterned with white chevrons, paired with slim-fit khaki shorts and a white undershirt she found in his dresser.

She hurriedly ran to the bathroom and began to change quickly. As she stripped off her black graphic tee, though, she slowed down and gaped at the mirror.

Despite knowing that they had swapped, the sight of a guy in the mirror (undressing, no less) was still shocking to her. Allan wasn’t exactly fit, but she couldn't help posing and flexing a bit, showing off what could potentially be a pretty attractive body underneath a layer of pudge. She laughed a bit at the absurdity of the situation and reached down to strip off her jeans before freezing in her tracks.

Am I really about to do this? Do I dare?

Gingerly, she unzipped the top of the jeans and slid them off, noting that the mass beneath had become substantially less massy. This took Allie by some surprise, as she had expected the mere thought of what she was doing to set it off, but she realized she wasn't aroused at all anymore.

A sudden loud banging startled Allie from her thoughts. “ALLAN, YOU HORNY BASTARD, YOU BETTER NOT BE DOING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE DOING! YOU HAVE ONE MINUTE LEFT AND I HOPE TO GOD THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TIME FOR YOU TO FINISH!”

“Christ, Kat, I'm almost done changing, just gimme some space!” Hurriedly, Allie buttoned on the shirt and slid into the khakis, then examined her hair in the mirror. It was a goddamn rat's nest, just like hers, only shorter. She quickly brushed through it, trying to tease out the worst of it, and came to a style that was somewhat satisfactory. She took a breath, glad she had finished before Kat burst down the door.

She looked over herself in the mirror and felt a sense of calm wash over her. Peace. Like everything was right with her and her place in the world and like she wasn't currently occupying someone else's place in an entirely different world from her own.

This worried her.

…Shouldn't I be more freaked out by this whole thing? Why am I so damn fine with this?

But she wasn't allowed even another iota of self-reflection as Kat burst through the door with a Tarzan yell. Allie yelped and very nearly fell backwards into the bathtub but Kat caught her by the hand.

In a very un-Kat-like whisper, she asked, “So… how did it feel?” Allie’s only response was to roll her eyes, shove Kat away, and stroll out the bathroom door, leaving a cackling Kat in her wake.

Back in the living room, Allie saw Jessica waiting by the door with her shoes on, arms crossed, and Allan sitting on the edge of the futon wearing his own flip-flops, which definitely did not fit anymore. When they saw her, though, they were both taken aback.

“Wow, Allan, I… I don’t mean any offense, but I've never seen you this put together before,” Jessica commented first. Surprising Jessica… that was rare.

Allan, though? “I thought those clothes looked bad on m-you, but…” he mumbled, unable to look her in the eyes, cheeks red.

 Hopefully not with attraction… I'm not into that freaky clone sex stuff.

Allie gagged, just a bit.

Then from behind her, she heard, “Damn, Allan! Why haven't you worn these bad boys on any of our dates? Your butt looks fantastic!” Suddenly, she felt a slap on her rightmost cheek as Kat walked by her. She couldn't help but flinch at the unexpected slappage in buttocks area. Kat turned away from the front door and mouthed 'sorry’ at her, motioning to Jessica with her eyes.

I know we said we need to keep up appearances but… Christ, Kat.

Then, she got an idea.

She closed the distance across the room, covering it easily with her long strides, stopping right in front of the girl who had casually violated her glutes’ personal space.

“Thanks, babe, but I think yours looks even better.” With that, she gave Kat’s ass a slap in return, causing her to yelp and make a strange expression. Discomfort? Disgust?

Huh. I thought revenge would taste sweeter, but… seeing Kat’s face just makes me feel bad. Did I do something wrong?

Behind Kat, Allan looked positively startled. To their left, so did Jessica. In an effort to escape the awkward situation she had created for all involved, Allie reached past Kat and opened the door as far as she could with Kat still in the way. “Uh, so, hey, let's head out then?” she said as she squeezed through the gap and out onto the front porch.

“And your shoes, dumbshit…?” Kat called after her.

* * *

The late morning sun shone down on them as they made their way towards the small diner they had spent quite a few hungover mornings at. Kat and Jessica were walking a few paces ahead of the extra-dimensional twins, chatting away, but Allie and Allan were quiet, occasionally sneaking glances at the other.

Eventually, Allan broke the silence.

“...Dude.” He floated his hands over his body, palms facing out, in a gesture meant to demonstrate 'look at this shit, what the hell’.

Allie turned to him, eyes wide open, her head nodding violently. “Dude.”

“Is this just… something that happens in your universe or something? Because it's pretty damn uncommon here!” Allan whispered.

“What kinda magical freakshow world do you think I come from exactly??” Allie hissed back. “This is goddamn insane to me too!”

“Great, so we're both clueless…” Allan pinched his brow, seemingly trying to think through the situation, but had to release his grip when he stepped on one flip-flop with the other and needed to catch his balance, with a yelp. “Do you at least know when it happened? The last thing I remember happening was you going to the bathroom and making a ruckus and me rushing in to help…” He squinted, looking off into the distance. “…and then I was on the floor, crying?"

Allie couldn’t help but snort. “Yeah, you had no idea what was going on and thought you’d gotten so drunk you’d worn those clothes and people would think you were a pervert, or something.”

Allan’s face flushed a deep red. “Oh… yeah, right.”

“What's even the deal with that getup, anyway?” Allie tried to stifle a chuckle. “You're not gonna try and tell me those are Kat’s clothes, are you?”

Allan turned away. “It’s… complicated.”

Allie lightly punched him in the arm, realizing she may have overdone it when he stumbled sideways, squeaking. “Sorry! I keep forgetting how strong you are.” She flexed and kissed her bicep.

“Quit it, I have noodle arms, that just looks sad.” Allan slapped her arm down, but Allie just laughed.

“I can't help it! This is a weird fucking situation, but damn it if I'm not enjoying myself!”

“Clearly, like how you’re taking advantage of the optics to slap my girlfriend on the ass…”

“Hey, we’re just trying to keep up impressions… and she did it first!”

“Yeah, she did it first. Because she does those things. Because she's Kat. I, however, do not slap my girlfriend on the ass like that… or at least not so brazenly in front of others.”

“How the hell was I supposed to know that wasn’t normal for you? I was just acting natural, like a guy would in that scenario… and maybe also getting revenge for a certain dick-slapping incident…” Absentmindedly, she reached over to start rubbing it again, but Allan slapped her hand away again before she could.

“Especially quit doing that, you horny fuck!” Allan seethed, then gestured to his chest. “How would you like it if I just started rubbing your tits for all to see?”

Allie cringed at the mental image, but... “Hey, I mean, this is your universe, my guy. All you’d be doing is embarrassing yourself indirectly as your ‘sister’, or encouraging me to do something to embarrass you directly. And plus, even if we are technically the ‘same person’, that's still my body, so you better fucking not.”

“And where was this desire for restraint when you were trying oh so desperately to escape to the bathroom and jerk my dick off?”

“That… that was different!” Allie insisted. “I'm not used to all this testosterone making me so damn horny and impulsive!”

Allan snorted. “Heh. Tell me about it. Shit sucks. I was so goddamn angry and frustrated at everything and desperately trying to hide it so I didn't come off as an asshole. Now though?” He twirled around, somehow coming across as graceful despite his unwieldy footwear. “Now I feel light as a feather, not having to shove that down all the time.” Then he gagged. “Still hungover. Right. Thanks for that, by the way.”

“I dunno, dude, it doesn't seem all bad to me. Being a guy, I mean, not being hungover, that shit sucks regardless and I'm sorry, the only person I thought would be affected by my drinking is me because that’s usually how it fucking works. In any case, I've been enjoying my time as a big strong man-dude so far.” She smirked. “Be glad it's not my Shark Week yet or else you'd be singing a very different tune.”

“Honestly? One week every month doesn't sound that bad compared to feeling like shit all the time. Plus…” He reached up and cupped his borrowed chest. “Your body has some pretty big bonuses, if you catch my drift.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” She shoved his hands back off. “They may look nice on others, but living with them is more trouble than they're worth, and they're not worth much to begin with. Frankly, I'm glad I’m getting a break.”

Allan looked disappointed, and a little confused. “How could anyone not want boobs though…?” he mumbled under his breath.

It's simple, dude. They suck, you're just not used to them. Soon enough, you'll want to rip them off and throw them across the damn street. I love being flat.

Then Allie suddenly stopped in her tracks. “Hey, uh, I thought it was just me, but are you also like… more okay with all this than you'd expect?”

Allan looked at her inquisitively, then got red and turned away. “I… I dunno. Maybe. It's just, like-”

“Comfortable? Maybe even too comfortable?” Allie interjected.

Without looking back at her, Allan silently nodded.

“Well, don't you think it's a little… weird that we’re so comfortable like this?”

“M-maybe? I guess?” Allan stammered.

“This might sound stupid, but I think this swapping nonsense is fucking with our brains somehow.”

Allan turned back to her and gave her his best deadpan stare under the red-flushed circumstances. “No fucking shit, Sherlock.”

“Besides that, obviously!” She wanted to give him a thwap on the side of his head, but thought against it after the last few times she'd used more force than intended. “No, I mean like being in different bodies with different chemicals and everything is making our brains fit more, y’know? Like it's adapting how we behave to make us feel comfortable as these genders.”

Allan looked up at her, wide-eyed. “Shit, you really think that's happening to you?”

Allie’s brain broke for a second.

Damn, how… how did he do that with my face? He actually looks… cute?!?

“To- to us, I mean!” he backtracked, seemingly mistaking Allie’s brain freeze for befuddlement over his word choice. “Both of us. Brain changes. Yes.”

“Yeah… uh…” Allie shook her head to clear the freeze. “Yeah. That's what I think is going on, anyway. I have no way to know this, but how else do you explain it?”

Allan shrugged. “No… no other explanation, yeah.”

“This is freaking me the goddamn hell out. We have to fix this.”

Allan looked down at his chest once more, this time in… apparent sadness?

Allie grabbed Allan by the shoulders and shook him back and forth. “Dude, snap out of it, you’re getting lost in the sauce! You’re a guy, remember? Hold onto that. Don't forget it. We need to keep our heads above water if we want any chance in hell of fixing this.”

Allan yanked her hands off his shoulders. “Or… or… hear me out… maybe it really is a Freaky Friday kinda thing and we need to learn how to respect each other's gender or something, and fighting that would actually be counterproductive? Who's to fucking say what the rules are? You know just as much as I do about how any of this works. Hell, maybe that's why you goddamn came here in the first place, to learn something about how shit it is to be a guy or whatever. And as a side effect, I get to learn about the trials and tribulations of womanhood.” He flipped his hair back in an exaggerated motion. “I say we go with the flow until we figure this out. I don’t get how, but you were enjoying it, yeah?”

Allie slowly nodded.

Wait… enjoying? I just said 'comfortable’… Am I…

Before she could think about it any further, she heard a booming yell that originated a few blocks down.

“WHAT THE FUCK Y’ALL, HOW DID YOU GET SO FAR BEHIND? FUCK THIS, FUCK YOU, I'M NOT WAITING!”

“Comiiiing!” Allan yelled back, in a considerably more feminine tone than he'd been using a second ago. He skipped down the sidewalk towards the angry Kat. Or tried to, anyway, managing one single skip (which was still impressive for being in oversized flip-flops) before stopping to hold his stomach. “Oh God oh fuck that did it.”

“Did what?” said Allie, concerned, as she came up behind him. “Everything okay?”

Allan puked all over the sidewalk.