It had taken Danny quite a bit of pleading for Ariana to allow her to go get something from a local cafe, but in the end she allowed it because Danny really seemed like she needed some space to wrap her head around everything. She stood outside the cafe with her hood up, not entirely sure if she should go in. She was scared of someone recognizing her, or recognizing she wasn’t entirely normal; would they throw her out? The might, or they might scream and call attention to her. A chill ran down her spine at being outed while seating herself. How would she handle that? She would like to think she’d have some witty rebuttal, or that she could be the bigger person and just leave, but truth was she’d probably run.

She sighed, trying to reach for the door. Her hand shook, far more than just a little nervous. She had only once before gone out en-femme with Ariana, but that was with lots of makeup and at night. There’s no way she wouldn’t be clocked.

Someone cleared their throat, just behind Danny. “Uh… are you all right? Do you need some help with the door?” Danny turned, realizing she was blocking the entrance, and almost bumped into the woman behind her, who had stopped slightly too close.

The other woman looked to be in her mid-thirties, with sleek black hair that fell in wings around her chin. She was wearing a form-fitting leather jacket festooned with buckles and zippers–one of which was unzipped to reveal a generous amount of cleavage.

The woman’s pale breasts weren’t what made Danny blink, however–her eyes were incredibly strange. The woman tilted her head slightly and looked at Danny with a quizzical expression, and she realized that her pupils were distorted, extending horizontally across her yellow irises. ‘Don’t goats have pupils like that?’ she thought.

“Please, allow me,” the stranger said, and reached out to grip the handle of the door. Danny shyly made way for the woman, wishing she could sink through the concrete and hide from embarrassment.

“O-okay, sure.” As Danny backed away from the door she plunged her hands into her pockets, hoping to hide them before the woman asked about them. The strange woman opened the door for Danny and she quickly ducked inside. In her haste she almost ran into a large man who was standing in line for seating. The line itself wasn’t bad as it was moving at a decent pace, but what worried her more was the crowd of people leaving the cafe.

A few rubbed shoulders with Danny, making her jump slightly, and she attempted to avoid the rest. In doing so she did end up bumping into the man in front of her a few times; each time she’d apologize profusely, but it was apparent Danny was beginning to get on the man’s nerves.

“Listen,” the man said, turning around with frustration burning in his eyes. “I get that you might be in a hurry to seat yourself, but I’m getting sick of you pushing and shoving. It’s not going to get any faster by being rude.”

The bottom of Danny’s stomach dropped out as she flushed, a cold emanating from her core. She instinctively lifted her hands to wave in front of herself, trying to diffuse the situation by showing innocence.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t like people touching me and they were-”

“For you not liking people touching you,” the man started, leaning down to her height, his brow nearly touching hers. “You do an awful lot of it. Are you trying to steal from me?”

Danny began to visibly shake, the weight of this man’s glare pressing into her. Her fingers began to twitch to the beat she’d practiced so much through the years. It was only now Danny realized she should’ve never gone alone, not even to a cafe. Danny wasn’t ready to be around people. She stuttered out some apologies that were nearly incoherent as she backed up.

A long, black fingernail poked the man in the shoulder, hard. He gasped and reared back, turning to focus his outrage on the person attached to the fingernail: the woman in the black leather jacket, now at Danny’s side.

“Nobody likes being touched unexpectedly, do they?” she said coolly. “But it happens, in public places.” The man looked like he was about to pull his fist back to strike the woman, but she simply raised one finger and stared down her nose at him. She smiled, her teeth white and even save for a sharp canine. The man froze, looking uncomfortable.

The woman wagged her finger. “Do you really want to escalate this? Think about the consequences before you go any further.” She did that thing again, Danny noticed–tilting her head to look at the man sidelong, with those strange yellow eyes.

“You–you started it by poking me!” he sputtered, turning red in the face.

She held her hands up in a placating gesture, though her face wore a smirk with a hint of cruelty. “I was trying to prevent your forehead from smacking into my friend, here.” The woman put one hand on Danny’s shoulder, and her touch was startlingly warm. Danny flinched instinctively, feeling the urge to pull away, but she held herself still.

“She didn’t mean to bump into you,” the woman continued, “but if you’d done the same, face to face? Allow me to apologize for poking you. But you should really get lost now.” Her glare intensified and the man scowled.

“Crazy bitches!” he yelled, and stormed out of the cafe.

Danny turned her head slightly to regard the strange woman. Danny examined her, taking a few faltering breaths as she tried to collect herself. “Th-thank you. I’m not normally th-this clumsy.” She looked between the woman’s eyes and her nails, and a strange sense of both danger and familiarity washed over her. She didn’t remove her hood, but she did face her directly, eyes wide in near-disbelief. Had she somehow managed a measure of luck? “Are you..?” Her question faltered in her throat, choking it off and not finishing it.

“Thank you for helping me, I don’t know what I was going to do… or him for that matter.” She sighed dejectedly, trying to push the encounter from her mind. The strange woman looked as if she was about to say something, but Danny finally managed to make her way through the line to go find seating. She tried ignoring the looks and stares from some people, knowing they were probably staring because she was acting strange, but she couldn’t help but feel that she was too exposed. That if she didn’t act the way she was she was going to be caught, seen, reported even!

As she sat down in her corner booth Danny bowed her head over the menu, holding it between her hands. “Oh God… oh shit, I shouldn’t be here. What was I thinking?” Danny whispered to herself, panic worming through every intonation. ‘Am I trying to get myself killed? What if there’s a Demon Hunter in here having an early dinner? Or some rando from the church who’s a little too keen on the weirdo in the corner?’ She thought to herself, her hands grabbing at her hair as they shook. ‘I can’t be here… I’m just going to stand up, walk out and-’

A familiar black nail tapped on the table, startling Danny out of her reverie. She looked up from where she was sitting, swallowing the dryness as best she could from her throat. The strange woman from the door was standing at her table, her strange eyes watching Danny, a strangely sarcastic smirk on her lips. Danny sat straight, her back against the booth. She would have backed away further, but there was no room to do so. Danny opened her mouth to say something, but the strange lady lifted a finger to her lips in a silent ‘Shh’, sitting across from her.

It couldn’t possibly have been more than a few seconds that they sat there in silence, regarding each other, but for Danny it felt like an eternity. She waited for the woman to say something, anything, to break what she felt was a tension between them. Danny had her suspicions of the woman, something Fey? Something more Demonic? Did it matter? Babel had warned her that she would have no friends in Heaven, Earth, or Hell because of what they were. All she could do was hope that whoever… or whatever… was staring at her, wasn’t planning on killing her. Or worse.

The woman across from Danny raised one finely arched eyebrow. “I’m not going to eat you. I’m trying to cut back on that, to tell you the truth.” She smiled again, but Danny still caught the feeling of a predator sizing up prey. “You’re so damn nervous. Let me guess… you’re wearing the baggy hoodie to hide your body, am I right?”

Her eyes narrowed at the woman, still nervous. She put her hands back into her pockets and looked down at the table somewhat, but nodded. “Y-yeah… I am.” She looked back up to the woman, curiosity overcoming fear. “How did you know that?” Though Danny believed that she could keep her eye hidden, her heightened emotions were making it dimly glow the faint magenta color. She knew it was by how it started feeling, like she had flexed it. It felt strained. She groaned lightly, once again raising a hand to cover and gently rub at her eye in frustration.

“Take a deep breath.” Danny listened to the woman’s voice, calm and low. “It’s part of you, but you can relax and let it pass through you, too.”

Danny looked up at her. The cruel twist of her smirk had been replaced by a kind look of concern; the woman lifted her hand from Danny’s shoulder. Danny hadn’t even realized she’d placed it there again.

“To answer your question… I’ve been there?” She fanned her fingers and waved them in a smooth motion across her ample chest, her sharp-featured face. “I didn’t always look like this, if that makes sense? Like knows like, unless I’m totally clueless… what’s your name, kid?”

She opened her mouth, ‘Darren’ she almost said, but she got the feeling that lying to this person wouldn’t get her anywhere. So instead she took a deep breath as the stranger insisted before continuing. “Danny. My name’s Danny…” After a few more breaths and managing to slowly collect herself and focus on the stranger, her world didn’t seem to spin quite so out of control. “When you say you didn’t always used to look like… that… are you meaning…” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “You used to be a… boy or…” Danny pointed carefully at her Demonic eye, trying to gesture silently. “I’m sorry if I shouldn’t be asking… I’m just… I don’t know.”

She placed both of her hands on the table in front of her, palms-up, and just looked at them. “I don’t know who or what I am anymore. Ever since… this… started happening to me, I’ve been so conflicted.” She tried not to, but she could feel warm tears burning at her eyes, threatening to fall at a moment's notice. “I’ve wanted to be so happy… but I’m so pissed off about it. I don’t know if I should allow it or…” She looked down, her face parallel to the table. The stranger didn’t have to hear the end to that statement; the fact of how Danny said it says she was ready to give up.

“Hey… hey!” The woman’s voice was insistent. “It’s all right. You’re going to be okay. Hold on to that for just a second, before you try to figure out anything else. Look at me for a second.” Danny looked up, into the woman’s intense, goat-eyed gaze. “I didn’t choose my own path either. Not exactly. And I fought it, hard… kind of like I sense you’re doing now.”

The strange woman leaned back and took a sip of her espresso. “You’re not even sure what your name is, are you? I’ve been there too. Heck, sometimes I’m not sure now. But you can call me Micki…. Do you want to tell me what’s going on, Danny?”

Danny sighed, taking another deep breath before lifting her hood off her head, smoothing her hair back in the process. “I would. Thank you… Micki.” Danny folded her hands into her lap, still looking tense but breathing through it. “My… name was Darren. It’s hard to hold onto, hard to recall, like a half-forgotten dream. A few nights ago I was just a normal student, going to college to hopefully become a Doctor someday… and then…” She took a bite from her cheese danish. “Babel showed up.”

She finished her bite before continuing, unsure if she should even continue, but something about this… Micki… was surprisingly disarming. Maybe because she wasn’t doing anything but listening, as if she did that professionally.

“Babel was in my apartment waiting for me when I returned from one of my night classes. She claimed that I owed her, saying that she’d given me a good life and it was time to pay up, and then she tricked me with the temptation to pass her on to someone else. She used it to get inside of me. At first it was small changes…” She let her nails clack on the table for emphasis. “And then came the dreams. Torturous, emasculating, shaming dreams.” She took another bite from her danish.

“And now suddenly… something’s gone wrong, she says.” She shook her head, closing her eyes. “My changes are ‘Out of her control’, she claims. But…” She took an obviously too-big bite, trying to silence herself, or maybe silence the burning shame written on her face.

Micki regarded Danny thoughtfully, then craned her head as if looking to one side of her, or around her. “Wow, Danny… that’s a lot, and a lot for you to deal with at your age.” She winced. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be patronizing. I’m somewhere between 50 years old and 9000, but that’s no excuse.” Micki sighed, and a different expression crossed her face… kind of tired, Danny thought?

“This Babel sounds like a piece of work, and I’ve tangled with a demon or three. I don’t know what you could owe her. But if you and she are ‘etherically entangled,’ as a friend of mine would say, there’s one thing you should remember: she needs you more than you need her. But you should think about the flip side, too… whether you need this?”

“Need this..?” She tilted her head in consideration, thinking back to before Babel. “Well… transition had crossed my mind a lot, but I’d made the decision not to months ago. My father had made me realize that if I did, I could basically kiss my scholarship goodbye. Or just the amount of harassment I’d be getting. People these days aren’t as accepting as I’d like.”

She sighed, shrugging her shoulders. “I want to be happy with this, I really do… but then there’s this Parturient nonsense of me possibly being in trouble just because of her.” She groaned irritably. “Everything Babel has brought to my doorstep is just… I don’t know. Insane. I don’t even know how to begin to process it all. I mean, should I be happy? I’ve woken up from my last few sleeps happy, bouncy even, giddy like some school child. And then when I’m finally completely awake, I feel trapped, scared.

“What I want is,” she began, her voice lowering again, “to feel like myself. To feel normal and wanted. Not like some… monster.”

Micki’s smile was genuine, open, and full of teeth. She looked as if she might break out in a laugh, and Danny wondered if she’d said the wrong thing. “Wouldn’t we all?” Micki shrugged. “Welcome to the shadowy side of the world, Danny. Just because someone else thinks you’re a monster or a demon doesn’t mean you are one–that’s up to you. But shit, your situation sounds awfully complicated.”

Micki rubbed her forehead at her hairline, as if searching for something with her fingers. “I feel like I should be writing this down, given the weird readings that got me sent here. But I’d rather just hear about what’s going on with you.”

Her smile had faded to a frown of concentration. “Am I understanding right that… you were already thinking about transitioning, of living as a woman, before any of this happened? And now, when you wake up you feel happy at first, before all the ramifications of your new reality hit you?”

“I guess,” Danny said, furrowing her brow. “I’m not entirely sure. I don’t know what’s going on in all of my dreams. There’s been a couple that I don’t remember.” She leaned back, running her fingers through her hair, a small note of a smile playing at the edge of her lips. “It’s like… I feel welcome… loved? Babel says it’s something called the Meta, it’s supposed to be mixing us to make a… well…” Her face turned a bright red. “A baby. I don’t know why, but…”

She looked at her reflection in the glass window beside her, her face falling ever so slightly. “I’m scared. What if I’m going to be ugly? What if after I change I’m not me anymore? I’m scared of people hating me…” Danny set her food down, thinking. “I used to have dreams where I was just a girl, walking around downtown, doing some store hopping. As soon as I saw myself in those dreams, everything would change. People would mock me, throw things at me… hurt me.”

She sniffed back a tear and her voice cracked a touch. “My mom left me when I was a kid, y’know? I haven’t told anyone else but… she told me she’d love me no matter what, so I thought I could tell her. I told her how I felt, what I wanted… I remember smiling widely thinking that my mother was going to love me. A few hours later she abandoned me in front of my father’s home… they were divorced.” She wipes her face with her sleeve. “Ever since, I just… can’t accept it. I can’t do it. I can’t lose my father, my friends, my scholarship, all of it. All I have are those, and I’m terrified if I give in I’ll lose it all.”

Danny looked up again. Micki’s expression had changed again. She looked older, slightly different somehow, with a brow creased by worry and care. “Danny,” she began. “I’m so sorry to hear that. You lost so much, and no child should have to go through what you did.” She paused, letting the words sink into silence.

“Someone went away, someone who was supposed to protect you.” Micki ran her slender fingers through her hair. “And Babel, whatever part she’s played in your life, wants something else from you now. It’s really understandable that you’d feel scared, feel like others can hurt you.”

Now she curled those fingers into a fist. “You can use your power to be strong, to find where and who you’re meant to be and plant your feet there. I see that potential in you, in your aura. But also…” She let her hand open again. “Danny, do you have someone… a person who really knows you and has your back? Sometimes that’s the best thing to remember when you’re lost: that there’s someone who’s your home.”

“Yeah, I do,” She said smiling somewhat, “Ariana’s been amazing, my rock. She found out when I, well…” Danny chuckled nervously. “I started growing…” She motions to her chest. “Things. She sort of walked in, and she confronted Babel that night too.” Her smile got wider and she let out a few humorous laughs. “She started throwing things at Babel, got her right in the face with a bar of soap.”

She unconsciously brushed some hair behind her ear, smiling shyly. “She’s the only person that knows about me… besides my dad. And she’s been extremely supportive, telling me she wants me however I want myself.” She lays her hands on the table, palms-down, looking at them. “She was my first kiss. It happened right after I told her I was tr-” She stopped herself, a learned reaction to keep her from accidentally outing herself.

“After I told her I was trans.” Danny smirked slightly, playing with her nails, her mind elsewhere. “So… yes, I do.”

Micki took her hands. “Danny, listen to the voices who love you, who care for you, who know you. There will always be those who scream and gnash their teeth–half the time, they’re in even more pain than you or I. For your own journey, they might as well be the howling winds of Hell. A constant, but not something you can let define your life. Listen to love, let yourself be seen, and follow the star that appears. Just remember that.”

She leaned back. “What am I doing? I’m not here to take your confession. Sorry kid, I get a little preachy sometimes. Old habits are hard to break… but I have to admit, you seemed like you needed a word of advice from a sister.”

“I think I did… I mean, it helps to hear them talk about how much they love me and want me to be happy. Not to think less of them or anything, but… it helps to talk to someone who knows what it’s like.” For the first time since their encounter, she smiled at Micki, warm and invitingly. “Thank you, again for helping me with that… guy. I’ve never been good at confrontation.” She takes a breath before asking her another question. “Is it strange? I mean, I’m not exactly the paragon of normal, but I don’t know what it would be like.”

She chuckles and shakes her head. “I mean, look at you! You’re gorgeous! And I’m just-” She paused, stunned for half a moment as if just realizing something. “That man… called me a bitch. Did he mistake me for a..?” She asked herself.

Micki laughed, a trilling contralto. “You look like a girl, Danny. One who’s scared to be out in public, but most people can’t tell why that would be. It’s not all about your body or clothes, I hope you realize?”

She tossed her hair with a flip of her hand. “Wanna hear something funny? This hair used to be a wig, the first one I ever tried on, actually. Then my actual hair changed. As my own guiding star told me once… it’s better to take control of your own life and destiny than to let things happen to you. Figure out who you want to see in the mirror, Danny, and walk towards her. We’re luckier than most people who have to figure that out, at least in some ways…” She placed a hand over her heart. “The power to transform your own life is a blessing, no matter where anyone says it comes from.”

“I didn’t know, no. I’ve been so caught up in things I guess I haven’t been paying close enough attention.” Danny looks at Micki’s hair, considering it. “It’s not bad, y’know. My wig is below my shoulders, but I haven’t worn it in a long time. Before I cut my hair I actually had it at a decent length. It was actually something that brought me comfort for quite a while.” She flexes her fingers considering. “Is it really okay for me to accept this? I don’t know what allowing it will do to me, even Babel is confused.”

She felt her eye flex, and she winced. She could feel something, someone. Her eyes are drawn to another few people, sitting at another table some thirty or so feet away. Danny could sense the passing thoughts, though not clearly, from the group. Their topic had switched ever so briefly to Danny and Micki, their curiosity about the odd pair. Even that was enough to get Danny’s attention.

“If I could have one thing go back to normal,” Danny said, still slightly wincing. “I wish I couldn’t feel other people’s desires or intentions towards me.” She sighs, blinking the pain away. “It feels like I don’t have any privacy anymore, which is strange considering it’s them I’m feeling inside me.” She brushed her fingers through her hair, her nerves still steadying. “Can I ask, how was it for you? The change and all? I take it that you didn’t exactly plan on it either?”

Micki’s eyes widened just slightly. “Interesting. Yes, I think the powers can be the hardest thing to adjust to, especially when it comes to… being responsible, I suppose? It’s one thing to avoid harming others, but when it comes to trickier topics like invasions of privacy and personal autonomy… phew, don’t get me started!”

She shook her head. “And you’re correct, I didn’t plan on it. Some… unpleasant people decided I’d be suitable raw material for an experiment, so they pulled some strings. Before I knew it, my life was upside down… and I couldn’t figure out what I really wanted.” Micki shrugged, the tight black leather bunching around her slim shoulders. Danny noticed that the jacket’s zippers had an unusual design, allowing Micki to remove the sleeves.

“It’s the hardest thing in some ways, isn’t it?” she mused. “Knowing what we really want, if we were truly free. I figured out a path for myself, and decided to become… this.” She gestured at herself and grinned. “Me, a succubus, feeding on the sexual desires of others. When I actually chose it, embraced it… I knew it was right. Not because of the choice, but because once I set a foot on that road, my foot just felt right.”

Her eyes widened in response, fidgeting ever so slightly. “It felt right, the road.” She taps her foot on the floor, thinking. “I think I get what you mean. Where it’s like, it’s not so much a feeling as a comfort, right? Where it’s like you just finally feel like there’s a current pulling you and it’s impossible to ignore?” She bites her lower lip, her eyes seemingly looking past everything and into her own thoughts. “I can choose to be who I want.” Micki nodded silently.

She looks up at Micki. “So, you’re a succubus, you chose to be one? Are there more like us? Like me? I mean, I’ve heard some pastors talk about Succubae and the like, but are there more Parturients? Maybe I can learn how to control myself or find how to… direct my changes?” Her eye twinged again, but this time it was stronger, less fleeting and very direct. There was an older gentleman sitting in another booth along the same wall who was staring intently at both Micki and Danny. Her breath caught and her face flushed, her hands grabbing Micki’s. There was a piercing fear present on Danny’s face.

She could sense directed and powerful animosity coming from the older man. It felt intentional, threatening. Their eyes were locked, every instant it felt as if her heart was about to stop in its beating. The man didn’t say anything, but Danny knew he’d been listening.

“I don’t know what a Partu–” Micki had been saying, but broke off when she saw the look on Danny’s face. “What’s wrong?” She followed the direction of Danny’s gaze. “Fuck. You said something about trouble? That guy is definitely trouble. Maybe you should hightail it out of here.”

As Danny moved to leave the booth, the man did as well, moving out as much as she did. She felt her mind swirl sickeningly, putting a hand to her forehead. “C-creature of the lost brood…” Danny started, her voice not sounding entirely like her own, almost like a second voice overlapped hers. “Betrayer blood, daughters of none-” She leaned back as she snapped back into her own head. “C-cambion! It’s a Cambion!”

The old man jumped out of his seat, rushing over to the pair. Danny screamed and jumped back, trying to throw herself aside from the man trying to grab at her. She kicked at him as he tried to grab at her, yelling mostly incoherently. “Church… Priest… Soldier… Cambion..!” Her eye flashed wildly as she accidentally probes the man’s thoughts while he attacks her. “Get off!”

With a snarl, Micki leapt to tackle the man, her lithe frame slamming into him with surprising force. The two of them went sprawling backwards onto the floor, Micki roaring in anger and the man grappling her head, first with one and then both hands. Suddenly Micki stiffened, then reeled backwards, toppling off the man.

Danny scrambled over the edge of the seat into the booth next to it, which had been hastily vacated when the brawl began. Turning, she saw the man extending his hands towards Micki, gripping the air. Micki screamed and clutched at her forehead. Red splotches broke out on her face and hands, and her eyes rolled back in her head before she collapsed to the ground.

Danny jumped at the man, running her shoulder into him. Unused to not being bigger, or heavier, she barely made the man move, but Danny did grab his attention. Her eyes widened as she scrambled back to her feet, shoving her way past patrons who’d stood up. She could feel his gaze burning into her, his mind pressing against hers. He’d all but forgotten Micki, and with a terrible strength and stride, followed Danny into the street.

Danny spared only a momentary look back into the cafe, guilty as she catches the last glimpses of Micki on the floor before running away, the Cambion hot on her trail.

KrakenRiderEmma

Parturient is a written by The Wolf Among the Woods and presented by KrakenRiderEmma as part of the Nexus NYC shared universe. She's currently planning on writing about three per week. The Wolf Among the Woods is a growing author, so please be sure to encourage her with a "TFTC," a favorite or a comment! She's interested in your thoughts and feedback.

If you’re looking for some more bizarre, supernatural gender-bender stories, check out our other series set in the same universe, written by the KrakenRiderEmma collaboration:

• Succubated! — a parish priest possessed by a succubus who wants his body... transformed into hers!
• Redraw Me — a trans girl discovers a magical means of transition, but it's not without complications...
• SYNCHRONY::OVERRIDE — a private investigator gets abducted to a pocket dimension and a strange new body.
• Samira's Curse — a smutty little romp about two friends who run afoul of a misfiring family curse.