A day like an eternity passed and, under the threat of rain, I carried my bag to Mr Arl’s. My bag paid for with Hyraj’s money, full of clothes Hyraj bought me. Every step heavier than the last, every breath louder, heart aching with regret.

But I would have regretted it more if I had stayed.

Arriving at the familiar house at an unfamiliar time, I took a deep breath. It didn’t really help. Nothing would, nothing but time.

So I kept moving forward.

“My thanks, again,” I softly said, resisting the urge to bow my head, instead holding my hands up in like a “give up” gesture. It was funny how ingrained these gestures were, things that meant nothing in this world. Or well, it made me realise that, even in my world, a lot of what I thought was natural probably wasn’t.

Mr Arl chuckled, hand over his mouth, then he shooed me. “I am sure their thanks will sound less sincere by morning,” he said, his other hand not-so-subtly patting Sisi’s head.

Looking down at her, oh, she looked so confused. Our eyes meeting, she sort of shuffled behind her dad. Shy at the unknown. “What’s Miss Loulou here?” she asked.

The better I understood the language, the funnier I found Sisi’s “accent”, speaking quite posh, but shortening phrases and such.

“They are… having a sleep-night here,” he said.

She looked up at me again, then something seemed to click into place and she stepped over to grab my hand. “Really?”

I lowered myself down, smiling. “Really.”

She burst into a grin, all giggly, and tried to tug me away only for Mr Arl to pick her up, hands under her armpits. Even without tickling her, she wriggled and giggled, making an unserious attempt to pry off his fingers.

“Papa!” she shouted through her laughter.

He laughed back, hoisting her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, one hand on top to keep her steady while his other arm locked her legs still. “Miss Louise has her luggage to put away and Little Miss Sisi has promised to bathe.”

As if this had all been part of her now-foiled plan, she went limp, no longer struggling. “But Papa….”

That whiny tone, one I heard so rarely from her, it tugged at my heart and my mouth moved before I’d even thought. “I could help bathe her—if that is fine?”

Yes, only after offering did I realise that, in this world, maybe that wasn’t the sort of thing to offer.

As I started to overthink things, though, Mr Arl gave the biggest laugh so far. “I dare say their offer will sound less sincere afterwards.” Then, in a softer voice, he said to Sisi, “Well? Should Miss Louise help bathe?”

Just like that, the defeated Sisi was revived. “Yesh!” she said, wriggling so much I was worried she’d fall off—but Mr Arl’s hold on her was firm. I remembered what Hyraj had said, that he’d wrestled at the equinox festival a couple years ago. Had he always been a bit athletic? Did he start after Sisi was born, wanting to be a strong father? Was it his natural strength as a man?

Well, it was natural for women, at least in these days. Natural to become strong enough to wash laundry, carry pots and buckets of water, stirring for hours, and then along came a baby, not too heavy at the start, but always getting a little heavier every day.

Putting Sisi down, he said to her, “Show Miss Louise her room and collect your lefsonsa.”

“Yes, papa!” she said, taking my hand and tugging me along.

A wave from Mr Arl, then we were gone. As bubbly as Sisi was, it was the end of the day and, before I’d left earlier, she was already slowing down, now going upstairs at a calmer pace than usual—not to mention quieter. Still, she dutifully guided me to what had been Mr Arl’s room until today; the main bedroom’s door no longer had the white cloth over the handle.

I felt a bit bad about that, but only for a moment, Sisi urging me inside. “Papa and we took all the old stuff out,” she said.

“Really? Good girl,” I said, giving her a smile before looking around. The room certainly did look empty, but I hadn’t been in before. A bed with folded linen and a blanket on top, then a side table and a chest of drawers. Not much different to my room with Hyraj… but different. Maybe the room Sisi was supposed to move to when her little sibling came along.

No point making myself sad with what-ifs.

I settled in, but didn’t settle down, just put my bag down for now and took out fresh clothes. The thing about bathing young children was that water had a magic ability to soak you regardless of how much you’d rather it didn’t.

Back in the hall, I found Sisi waiting for me with her lefsonsa—pyjamas. A bundle of something that looked like thick linen. “Shall we?” I asked.

She stared at my clothes, folded over my arm, then grabbed my hand and led the way once more.

Downstairs, it wasn’t my first time going into the bathroom. Was my first time using the shower. We didn’t play outside as much as I’d like to, not wanting to give the “family” a bunch of washing to do in this muddy weather, so hadn’t needed to wash Sisi before.

“This is the tap,” Sisi said with a very serious tone. “Don’t turn it until Miss Loulou is ready.”

“Okay, I understand,” I said, couldn’t help but smile.

Once she had shown me everything, she started stripping down. Her pyjamas, old clothes, and towel went into a cupboard to stay dry. Much like the dorm, there wasn’t a bath, the whole room like a shower stall, a bit of a slope towards the one wall where a drain was. Unlike the dorm, the toilet was in here too. A small mat by the door to wipe your feet if you had the misfortune of needing to go after someone showered. Well, from my own experience, it wasn’t too messy if you were careful. From what I was sure I was going to learn soon, I doubted Sisi was careful.

While I added my clothes to the cupboard, Sisi took out her “bathing bucket”. A small, metal tub, which had some kind of soap and a scrubbing block? Watching her, it was actually two wooden blocks with a hinge and she wrapped a cloth around it, then closed it to hold the cloth in place.

Again with a serious tone and expression, Sisi turned to look at me. “Papa fills the bucket, then rubs some soap in, then scrubs me with this.”

I nodded with my hand. “What about your hair?” I asked.

She didn’t exactly flinch, but definitely winced, trying not to look over where the bucket had been. So I looked there and noticed a “comb”. It was like Hyraj’s, kind of just metal nails stuck in wood, but better made. Or rather, it looked nicer while Hyraj’s was like a travel comb that could cope with being thrown into a backpack.

“We have to do it, but I’ll be gentle, okay?” I softly said.

She bit her lip, then weakly nodded with her hand.

“Good girl.”

Everything arranged, we started and I was very thankful that Sisi didn’t actually shower yet. Wiping her down with the soapy cloth was much less, well, wet. Though she sat nice and still for me, that didn’t mean she couldn’t make things awkward for me.

“Miss Loulou?”

“Yes, Miss Sisi?” I asked.

She giggled, but it trailed off quickly. “That is it, why is they here and not with Miss Hyrash?” she whispered—like it was something she wasn’t supposed to ask. She’d looked surprised to see me earlier, so I doubted Mr Arl had told her not to ask.

Whatever the reason for her whispering, she’d asked, so I wanted to answer. Of course, I wasn’t going to tell her it was because Hyraj kissed me.

“Well,” I said, “I was sad, and Miss Hyraj was sad, so we said some things that… weren’t nice.”

“Oh.” After a long second of silence, she said, “Are they… not friends now?”

I smiled to myself, not a happy smile. “We said ‘my sorry’ and we are still friends.”

“Oh.” Another second of silence, then she asked, “Why are they not staying with them?”

So many questions…. “Mm, Miss Hyraj did something that made me sad, so I wanted to stay somewhere else for a little bit.”

“Oh.”

I counted the seconds this time—two, three—and let out a sigh of relief when I reached ten.

Another thankful thing, I didn’t get too wet from the rest of “bathing” time. Wiped her down, rinsed her with water, then bundled her up in her towel, laughing along to her giggles, ticklish as I helped dry her. Before she dressed, I gently brushed out her hair. Though her hair looked better these days, how tense she sat, I guessed Mr Arl wasn’t great at brushing, but I was sure he was trying. Whatever the case, she relaxed once she realised I wasn’t tugging on her knots.

After that, she dressed and I sent her out. For a moment, I just stared at the closed door, softly smiling. It was kind of funny how everyone had their own lives. She probably had sat better for me, but still, Mr Arl thought she was difficult?

A shiver ran through me. No point hanging around in damp clothes, I changed my trousers, shirt dry enough. Pretty glad women could wear trousers here. Not many did in town, but there were a few and no one had made an issue out of me or Hyraj not wearing dresses.

Idle thoughts to keep my mind busy.

Once I changed and dropped off my clothes in the room, I joined everyone in the lounge. It was a bit funny staying somewhere with rooms—plural—again. Somewhere with actual seats, settling onto the couch next to Frinnef while Sisi sat on the arm of Mr Arl’s chair, snuggled up with him as he read a book. Not aloud, looking like a “proper” book, but Sisi wasn’t really awake, her eyes half-closed, just happy to sit there and fiddle with his collar.

Honestly, it seemed childish. She was small for her age, at least from what I was used to, but she was still six. Maybe this was normal for here. Maybe, well, maybe it was normal in my old world too, I just didn’t know how children were with families.

How little I knew….

Closing his book, Mr Arl gave Sisi’s head a pat, then looked over at me. “Trouble, was she?”

“Not at all,” I said, smiling.

He chuckled, hand over his mouth. Before he could say anything else, Sisi gave a big yawn, her whole body stretching with it. Another chuckle from him, his hand coming down after to show a gentle smile.

“Ready for sleeps?” he whispered.

She made a sleepy noise of disagreement.

Without thinking, I said, “What if I ta—put Miss Sisi to bed?” Both might have been right in English, but here you could put someone to bed or take someone from bed.

Mr Arl gave me a wry smile, then leaned in close to Sisi, finding her face as she buried it into his shoulder. “What does Sisi think?”

Sisi hummed again, then found a burst of energy, rolling onto Mr Arl’s lap before sliding down onto the floor with a giggle. Her sleepiness returned when she stood up, though, holding onto his knee to steady herself, other hand rubbing her eye.

I held out my hand and, this time, she let me lead the way. She must have been exhausted. With a smile, I thought it was no wonder Mr Arl thought so highly of me if she was this tired after spending the day with me.

Or maybe not.

Well, we brushed her teeth, then went up to her room. She was so cute in her pyjamas. Like, two sizes too big, but rolled up so she didn’t trip. Plain linen, but not scratchy like I expected, so maybe blended, maybe broken in? Or maybe I was confusing my world’s pure linen that I had read about and this like-linen cloth.

Focusing on the task, I whispered, “What does papa do next?”

She hummed, fiddling with the edge of the blanket by her face. So cute. Just her little face poking out, cheeks red, eyes fluttering. “Papa tells a story,” she mumbled. I honestly was more guessing than hearing, picking out the word “story” and working from there.

“Okay,” I said, then took in a deep breath before rattling off the story of the tortoise and the hare. After seeing her book of “fairy tales”, the stuff from my world was maybe a bit… violent? Even the watered down versions made into movies. Maybe because of her age, Mr Arl only bought her a book of fables. Whatever the reason, I went with a fable to “match”.

Although I dragged out the story with some additions of my own, she didn’t fall asleep, and I soon noticed she was getting a bit tense. It was easy to see myself in her right now. Hard not to. Sensitive to children’s moods.

I wrapped up the story, then stroked her head a few times. Seeing she wasn’t settling, I whispered, “Should I get papa?”

She hesitated, then nodded with her hand.

I smiled. “I’m very prou—prideful of Sisi. It’s good to try something new, and it’s okay to decide they like it better the old way.”

Her gaze that had been avoiding me now drifted over. “Really?” she whispered.

I stroked her head again. “Really,” I whispered back.

With that said, I left to go get Mr Arl for her—leaving the door open on the way out. A kind of necessary habit. Nothing upset kids liked closed or locked doors, especially if they were already unsettled.

Downstairs, it was just Mr Arl, Frinnef already gone, and he readily understood, going up to see Sisi. No reason for me to hang around the lounge alone, I readied for bed.

Once I finally lay down, though, I only had my thoughts for company.

Rain pitter-pattered against the window, distant rumbles. I hoped Hyraj was okay. Remembered how guilty she’d looked when I mentioned staying elsewhere, how pained her smile was when she sent me off. How, despite all that, she asked Mr Arl if I could stay, while I had just planned to stay at the inn with my babysitting money.

The rain fell, and I fell asleep thinking of her.