A voice inside ZaiWin¹ Literally zai (blade) + win (chaos).'s head told him that the old man was probably right, that he should just let him be, let him sleep, free from all the pain and suffering. And not only free from the devastating pain that would most certainly tear through him the moment he woke up. The future ahead of them was neither easy nor pleasant to behold. They would probably end up dead either way, the both of them, executed by the royals or murdered by some assassin sent kill them while they slept.

Waking him up, restoring the bond between them, would inevitably drag Snow into his dark, conflicting life. But, unlike him, ZaiWin wasn’t neither gentle nor kind. He was ultimately selfish and cold-hearted. He had wanted many things in his life, and he had always abode by his mother’s words, constantly restraining himself, repeatedly repressing his own wishes. But not this time. He had said so himself, in his own words. He wanted that brat back, no matter what. And now that he knew all that he knew, he wanted him back even more.

“Snow? Hey! Open your eyes!” he commanded, like he’d done many times before, and raised his head to look at him, expecting to see his command be obeyed like it had always been, but nothing happened.

The damned link wasn’t there anymore, he reminded himself and, for once, he cursed its absence instead of its existence.

“Snow! Open your eyes! Open them!!” he insisted, gently slapping his face, his pale cheeks slightly warming up, and a light frown marked the boy’s face.

“Wake up, damn it!! By the Heavens! I swear that if you don’t wake up right now I will smack you silly!!”

Snow’s frowned deepened, his pale eyelashes trembling, making him look down at him in anticipation, and then his eyelids finally opened, showing a pair of black eyes that, for an instant, left him stunned.

The same eyes, ZaiWin realized, looking into those pools of absolute darkness … But the expression of pure agony that immediately took over the boy’s face, and the sight of those pale lips parting, air filling his chest, immediately propelled him into action.

Urgently leaning forward again, ZaiWin firmly plastered a shaking hand against his lips, using his entire body to stop him from thrashing around.

“Don’t scream! I know it hurts but you have to bear with it! You can’t use your markings now! You hear me? It will kill you!”

Snow’s crazed gaze looked up at him, tears filling his eyes and sliding down his face, instantly freezing the moment they touched the ground. Catching him completely off guard, he shoved him back, his unexpected strength forcing ZaiWin’s weakened body to wobble back and almost fall.

Turning on his side, Snow gasped for air, pulling his knees up against his chest, squeezing his hands so hard that the reddened skin turned white.

The pain was unbearable! The pain was unbearable! The pain was unbearable!! And yet he still found himself obeying him, holding his voice back, biting his lower lip until his mouth tasted like blood. He wished he could freeze the entire world into absolute stillness and silence.

The warm hand that touched his head startled him and he squeezed his eyes shut. When he'd started this he’d hoped he could somehow survive it. Now all he wanted was to die, if that would only take that burning pain away.

“Snow, I know it hurts a lot but you have to focus and calm down. Just focus on my voice and relax. Focus on listening to me and let the rest of your mind fall asleep …”

He did try to follow his instructions, desperately holding on to whatever might be thrown his way, but all that was easier said than done. And besides his mind was a tangle of fragmented, disconnected thoughts. There was no way he could quiet it all down.

“Why …? Go away …”

ZaiWin heard him gasp between forced breaths, his frail, broken voice echoing in his head.

“No.”

Snow frowned, his lips quivering as he did his best to control the sounds that left his mouth, and more tears slid down his face.

“Why …? Aren’t you … free …?”

ZaiWin tilted his head to one side, looking down at him, at that small, trembling body, at the way he seemed to want to fold himself until he was able to disappear. Had he understood him right? Was he … worrying about him? Worrying that the stupid thing he had decided to do hadn’t work out after all?

Grabbing his wrist, he pulled him and turned him on his back again, Snow’s expression contorting in to one of pure pain, his chest heaving as he tried to control what ZaiWin knew to be the most excruciating pain of all.

“I am,” he declared, looking him in the eye, looking into those black eyes, the same eyes he recalled seeing on that small child’s face. “We are no longer linked. And so I’ve come here to take you back.”

The dark eyes widened in disbelief and then he tried to get his wrist free. But, if ZaiWin could barely keep his back upright due to the absurd quantity of energy he’d spent to get there, Snow was in an even worse state, and so there wasn't much he could do besides twisting his own hand.

“I … don’t want to … Go away!”

“I don’t care. And I am not going anywhere.”

Snow squeezed his eyes shut. He really wanted to stop breathing now. Just sleep and be done with it. And what was he talking about? He couldn’t understand. He couldn’t understand anything, besides the fact that he was being an arrogant bastard again.

“Let … go …”

“No.”

Opening his eyes he looked up at him, at those cold, blue eyes that kept staring unwavering at him.

“I’m … dying …” he whispered, wishing that hearing could somehow dissuade him, but the sound of those words only made him feel even worse, new tears sliding down his face.

“Yes. You are,” ZaiWin simply agreed, sounding completely unconcerned, and a complete different kind of pain tore through Snow's chest, making him sob bitterly.

The warm breath that caressed his face made him open his eyes with a startle, and Snow just stared up at him, momentarily forgetting even to cry. ZaiWin’s face was so close to his that he could clearly see all the darker and lighter sparks that inhabited his blue eyes.

“Do you want to die, Snow?”

Blinking in confusion, for a moment his mind couldn’t formulate a single thought. What was the use of asking him that? Now there was no turning back, and so there was no meaning in wishing for a different end. And had he just called him Snow? His breath caught in his throat at that sudden realization. He had never called his name before, not once. And the sound of it in his voice was both cold and intimidating.

“You don’t, right? You want to live. And see the world. See the ocean and its golden sands. See the mountains and their snowy tops. That’s who you are, right?”

Snow couldn’t stop staring at him, feeling completely numb, even to the heart-wrenching pain melting his back.

“So choose me again.”

The sound of those words were like a bucket of icy water poured over his head, and Snow immediately shook his head, fighting with doubled strength to push him back, wishing to escape him and get as far away from those mesmerizing eyes as soon as possible.

“Let go!”

“I said no.”

Obviously unable to move from where he laid, much less fulfill his delusional wish to escape, Snow closed his eyes and tried to focus his scattered mind.

It wasn’t as if he had chosen to do this light-heartedly. He had had an objective, a purpose, which was still valid, which still had an unbearable weight. There was no way he was going back on his own decision just because he had come for him!

A sharper pain made him wince, his entire body tensing up. It was getting worse. It would only get worse. He felt so sick now that he wanted to throw-up, even though he knew there was nothing in his stomach to throw-up to begin with. And the smell … the smell was the worst thing of all, maybe even worse than the pain. He was starting to smell just like those horrible things, and he couldn’t help wonder if he would end up transforming into one of them.

Opening his eyes he stared up at him, his decision made.

“I will never … choose you again. So just forget about me. And go back to your … people …!”

ZaiWin looked down at him for a moment. He had seen that expression on his face before, even if now his voice sounded weaker and broken. It was the same expression he had wore when he had told him that he wanted to stay and face the woman that had held him captive for ten years. The same expression that he had on his face, when he had declared that he wanted to follow him to Woodbridge and face the place where he'd lived as a child, the place where Sand had died.

Releasing his wrist, ZaiWin straightened his back. He now knew that no amount of pain, no amount of begging, no amount of pleading, would ever make him change his mind.

“Fine, then. Between choosing me and not choosing me, you choose not to choose me,” ZaiWin declared and Snow couldn’t help looking up at him, feeling suddenly apprehensive.

It wasn’t like him to give up so easily. He had expected him to threaten him, maybe even hit him until he gave in. And the cold smile that touched ZaiWin's lips didn’t do anything, in terms of alleviating the bad feeling that was starting to squeeze his chest.

“Here’s another one for you, then,” ZaiWin went on, that scary smile still plastered on his lips. “Choose again. Either choose me, or let me die,” he simply stated and, before Snow’s alarmed gaze, a dark sword flew right at him, burying itself right in the middle of his chest, making ZaiWin bend forward with a loud huff.

Silvareiel

ZaiWin is such manipulative prick! Of course Snow could never let him die! Even if he were just a stranger, he still wouldn't let him die. My poor Snow, falling in his hands again. ZaiWin is definitely a devil! ? ?