ZaiWin¹Literally zai (blade) + win (chaos). watched him as Snow coldly unlaced his own tunic and took it off, pulling it over his head. Somehow it pained him, seeing that detached expression back on his face. Now, no matter how closely he studied him, he couldn’t capture a single hint of what was really going on inside Snow’s head.

Carefully folding his tunic like he always did, Snow reverently placed it on a rock, protected from the wind. Then he simply sat down, with his legs crossed, like he’d done numerous times when they practiced his daitai²Literally dai (light) + tai (mark), or holy Markings, considered Heavenly Blessings. They’re the source of power. control.

Seeing him sitting like that, his face an unfeeling mask, his gaze serious and set, his silver hair dancing in the wind, ZaiWin couldn’t help but sigh inwardly. Snow actually did look a lot like the beautiful, mindless, golden-haired dolls of the Palace. And he immediately wanted to annoy him, even anger him, so that he would actually show some kind of expression. He could have at least blushed a bit from embarrassment, while taking off his clothes. But by now ZaiWin knew better. Unless he teased him into becoming self-aware, taking off his clothes meant nothing to Snow. Just like kissing and touching. He was too used to all of that, too desensitized. Not to mention that he hadn’t had anyone to teach him that such things were far from normal or commonly accepted.

Approaching him from behind, ZaiWin’s gaze inevitably fell on the silvery markings covering his skin. No matter how many times he looked at them, they were still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Swirls of glistening silver covered his entire back, from his shoulders to his waist, forming the sacred symbols of his daitai, looking, as a whole, like a delicate pair of wings.

Crouching behind him, ZaiWin couldn’t help touching his back, following the silvery lines with the tip of his fingers.

Snow’s shoulders immediately tensed up. Not because he was touching him, he knew, which was a shame. But because no matter how detached he might look, he was actually very much afraid of what he knew would follow.

With a mischievous smile on his lips, ZaiWin leaned forward and placed a kiss between his shoulder-blades. And, as expected, that was enough to make Snow jump to his knees and quickly turn around, a scared and confused expression on his face, his cheeks blushing all the way to his ears. Now that was much better, ZaiWin thought, calmly sitting down.

“What was that?” Snow demanded, now frowning, and ZaiWin shrugged.

“A good-luck charm?”

Snow’s scowl only deepened.

“Come here,” ZaiWin gestured him closer with his hand and Snow stared suspiciously at him, but ended up obeying, walking on his knees. The moment he was within reach again, ZaiWin held his hand, lightly caressing his cold skin, trying to reassure him.

“We’ll be fine.”

Snow lowered his head and sat on his heels. Since he clearly had no intention to get any closer than that, ZaiWin shamelessly dragged his butt forward, until Snow was kneeling right in front of him, between his long, parted legs. Squeezing Snow’s cold, inert hand for comfort, ZaiWin took a deep breath and focused on more serious matters.

“Like before, we’re going to activate only one daitai at the time, all right?”

Snow nodded, his head still hanging low.

“I’ll be right here. And I will knock you out cold, if things get out of hand. So don’t worry. I’ll make sure you don’t lose control.”

Snow obediently nodded again.

ZaiWin wished he would at least raise a complaint about the knocking out part.

Raising his free hand, ZaiWin placed it on his naked shoulder and slid his hand down his back, to the top of his shoulder blade. Even though he couldn’t see it, the moment he focused his mind he could feel a soft buzzing sensation.

“Here. We’ll start with this one. Ready?”

Snow squeezed his hand, the only hint of how nervous he really was, and simply nodded.

Taking a deep breath, ZaiWin closed his eyes and cleared his mind. He had to be careful about this. Unlike Snow’s other daitai, these ones were too aligned with his own energy, so they would easily accept it and feed on it. Not that he was afraid that he might be drained in the process. But he didn’t want to risk over-exciting them. The purpose of the whole exercise was just to nudge them awake, and then allow Snow to take over the process, learn about them, and learn how to control them. If he gave them more energy than needed he risked simply making them go berserk.

Pushing the energy through his body into the tip of his fingers, ZaiWin fed the softly buzzing marking he was touching just a little bit of it.

The most breathtaking, piercing pain he had ever felt immediately exploded inside his head.

ZaiWin had been knocked over the head a few times in his life, but nothing could compare to this. It was as if his brain had exploded inside his skull. Better yet, as if the entire world had exploded inside his skull. Hundreds of screaming voices filled his mind. Desperate voices. Desperate words. Desperate pleadings. Darkness washed over the world, leaving him blind. His heart was breaking inside his chest. He couldn’t breathe. And suddenly one single voice overcame all others.

“No!! Please don’t! Please don’t kill him! Please don’t kill him!!”

The heart-wrenching, desperate pleadings that filled his head made ZaiWin urgently turn around, searching franticly, even though darkness was all he could see.

“Snow? Where are you?” he shouted back, easily recognizing his voice. He had never heard him shout like that, cry like that, until his gentle voice sounded broken and hoarse. With such desperation and hopelessness. It made his chest hurt.

“Snow!”

“Stop!! Please stop! Please give him back to me! You said we’d be together! You promised you’d stay with me!!”

ZaiWin spun dizzily around, trying to understand the origin of that voice, trying to find a way to go to him.

“Snow!”

He was crying now. Inconsolable. Sobbing and bawling like a child. The painful sound of that voice speaking of a deep sadness and hopelessness.

“Snow!”

His own voice echoed in the darkness around him and the crying stopped. For an instant everything was silent, and all ZaiWin could hear was the loud sound of his own heart beating.

Silvareiel

This won’t be easy ... ?

Next update will be tomorrow. For now, I will try to update Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. I’m really sorry about that ?. But I promise I’ll spend my time writing new content. To be honest the stuff I’m writing right now is more or less giving me a headache. I’m feeling I’m leaving important stuff behind. I need to read the last 20.000 words or so to see if there aren’t any holes in the story. ?