“Hey brat … stop crying … I’m the one lying on his deathbed here …”
Snow sniffled and wiped his eyes on the back of his hands, but more tears quickly replaced them.
“You’re an idiot! And I hate you!!” he spat back, obviously forgetting his whispering ways, and ZaiWin1Literally zai (blade) + win (chaos). chuckled, which immediately made him grimace in pain. His chest still hurt. In fact, his whole body felt as if he had been recently trampled by a dozen horses.
“Is that … any way to treat … an injured person?”
Snow glared at him through tearful eyes and actually punched him in the chest, making ZaiWin growl and cringe in pain.
“You’re a liar as well!!” he accused and his shoulders shook uncontrollably. “Didn’t you say you’d be all right? Didn’t you say my daitai2Literally dai (light) + tai (mark), or holy Markings, considered Heavenly Blessings. They’re the source of power. couldn’t hurt you?” he went on, heavy tears rolling down his face again as he did his best not to openly cry his eyes out. “Didn’t you say I didn’t need to worry? That you’d be fine? You said you wouldn’t leave me! That you’d always stay with me! And you still left!!” he spat out all in one breath, now sobbing uncontrollably, and ZaiWin couldn’t help stare up at him, completely taken aback.
What was he saying …? Was he even listening to his own words? When had he said such a thing? Not that it wasn’t true. No matter what, he had no intention to ever leave him. But still … And he hadn’t left anyone! Not really. But, looking at that child-like crying face, none of that mattered anymore. He could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he’d seen Snow cry. And that he would cry like that because of him, because he’d been afraid that he might leave him, was actually pretty amazing. And adorable. And it just made his chest feel warm.
Taking a deep breath and clenching his teeth, ZaiWin made an effort to sit up. The pain made him groan and grimace, and that simple movement was enough to leave him sweating. He was completely screwed. ZenTar3Literally zen (silent) + tar (wind) was going to kill him all over again.
“All right … all right. Enough with the crying …” he breathed and, placing a hand on Snow’s head, pulled him closer against his chest.
He was still having difficulty breathing and his mouth kept tasting of blood. But he was hardly in such a bad shape that others would actually believe that he was practically dead. Snow was just overeating. On the other hand, maybe his apparent ability to overcome that ordeal wasn’t all his doing, he considered, noticing the small bloody rock lying next to the boy.
“I’m sorry … I admit … I miscalculated things a bit …” he declared, feeling his clothes quickly becoming moist from Snow’s tears.
“I should just have left you die!” Snow sobbed back, his voice sounding muffled.
ZaiWin caressed his soft hair and tried to take a deep breath, but quickly gave up with another pained grimace.
“I’m sorry … And I’m glad you didn’t …”
Snow finally calmed down a bit but, instead of pulling away from him, he actually, and surprisingly, wrapped his arms around his waist.
“I still hate you …”
ZaiWin weakly chuckled again.
“You can’t hate me, remember? You’re a freaking Tien’Elhar.”
Snow finally raised his head and glared coldly at him, making ZaiWin smile. At least his eyes had gone back to their normal pale-blue color.
“Hasn’t VinWei taught you anything? Tien’Elhar can’t hate. They are holy, Heaven sent, loving creatures. So you have no other choice but to love me.”
“I hate you!” Snow insisted with all seriousness and ZaiWin placed a bloody hand against his pale cheek.
“You love me. And you should hurry up and realize that all ready!” he replied and, leaning forward, pressed his lips against Snow’s.
The taste of blood immediately made Snow pull away, but ZaiWin grabbed him by the back of his head and pushed forward, forcibly making him part his lips. They tasted salty, from all the tears he’d shed. Tears he’d shed for him. And that simple thought was enough to inflame his desire, as he ravaged that small mouth until Snow was clearly completely lost, unable to decide what else to do, except to try and catch his breath.
The pain that pierced ZaiWin’s chest was a rough but welcomed waking-up call. And ZaiWin finally pulled back, pressing his forehead against Snow’s again, unable to completely let go of him.
He was seriously injured and his own energy was wreaking havoc inside his own body, his markings defying the strict control he kept over them. He was definitely a mess, and the annoying pull of that freaking link wasn’t helping at all, leaving him feeling irritable and impatient. The only thing he could think of, looking at that brat’s face, was that he belonged to him.
Still trying to catch his breath, his lips feeling tingling and swollen, Snow looked back at him, at those ferocious glowing eyes. By now he had learned to recognize that gaze, and even though he couldn’t understand what exactly provoked it, he could instinctively tell that it didn’t translate into anything good. Even though he couldn’t see it because of the bracelet around his wrist, he knew that, on such occasions, the darkness that always surrounded him became even denser. And, although ZaiWin always retained a fierce control over it, Snow knew without anyone telling him that, in those moments, things could get pretty ugly very quickly, at the smallest thing out of place.
“You’ll have to kiss me a lot, until I’m fully healed,” ZaiWin said, obviously trying to lighten the mood and reassure him, but the hard fingers digging into the back of his neck told an entirely different story.
Snow nodded. And, for a moment, they just sat there, staring into each other’s eyes.
“Are you afraid of me?”
Snow’s eyes widened at the sudden question. Of course he was! Who in their right mind, knowing what he knew, seeing what he saw, wouldn’t be?
“Shouldn’t you be the one afraid of me instead?” he asked back, and a cold smile stretched ZaiWin’s lips, clearly indicating he’d noticed his escape strategy.
“I’m not afraid of you.”
“Even though now you know that I can kill you too?” Snow insisted and ZaiWin’s smile only widened.
“Although it’s true that you can kill me, now I’m even more confident that I’ll be able to stop you.”
Snow gaped in disbelief.
“You were practically dead, just a moment ago!” he declared, wondering if something had gone wrong with his head, and ZaiWin nodded, his warm forehead still sticking to his.
“Like I said, I miscalculated things a little. It won’t happen again.”
Snow was at a loss for words. Where in the world did he get that absurd and unfunded confidence was beyond his understanding.
“But I will only stop you as long as you want me to,” ZaiWin went on and Snow stared into those blue eyes again. “If you ever decide that you want to kill me, or anyone else, even if you decide that you want to kill the entire world, I’ll be fine with it.”
Snow opened his mouth but couldn’t speak. His heart was beating so fast that it felt like it could jump out of his chest at any minute.
“Why … are you saying that …?”
“Because you were born with that right.”
“I was born with that right …? I’m a Tien’Elhar. And Tien’Elhar shouldn’t be able to kill anyone …” Snow argued in a small voice, and the blue eyes looking straight at him became even harder.
“Shouldn’t be able to kill anyone …” he repeated in a cold whisper. “And yet a Tien’Elhar murdered my mother, her Chosen One, in cold blood. I’m sure VinWei has told you about that, by now.”
Snow swallowed dry.
Yes, he had heard the story from VinWei’s mouth. But hearing ZaiWin say it like that was completely different. Also, unlike before, now there were no filters covering up his real emotions, no socially-expected politeness to smooth things up. And the hatred that impregnated those few words sent a cold shiver running down Snow’s back.
“And you. You are not a Tien’Elhar.”
Snow’s eyes widened in shock at the sound of those words.
“You are something entirely different. You are much, much more than that.”
“What … do you mean …? You all said …”
“We are all ignorant fools! How can a heavenly being like you blindly believe a bunch of mortal idiots like us?” he mocked and Snow blinked, confused.
“But … I have the same kind of daitai,” Snow still argued. “And I’m bound to you, like they are!”
“That you are. Not very smart of you, if you ask me. But, even if you hadn’t chosen me, you’d still belong to me! That will never change. No matter what you are, you will always be mine.”
Snow frowned. Even though they’d already been through that mine-yours situation it still irked him, hearing him bluntly say that kind of thing!
“You can hate it all you want,” ZaiWin arrogantly declared and Snow lowered his gaze.
“I … don’t hate it …” he muttered back and ZaiWin finally released his neck, his warm hand slowly sliding down Snow’s bare back.
Because he had specifically touched almost every single one his markings, ZaiWin could clearly distinguish the different nature of the daitai beneath the tips of his fingers. Some were warm and caring. Others were cold and hard. And finally, the ones that called to him. How hadn’t he noticed it before?, he wondered, closing his eyes, focusing on those small vibrations. So detestably familiar. He hated them and loved them equally.
Lowering his head, ZaiWin nuzzled Snow’s soft hair, rubbing his face against it.
What a pair they made. What a terrible, gruesome pair they made. Suddenly, the reason why he had tried so hard to keep his darkness under control was nothing but dust. He should have seen it back at the Fortress, the instant some scrawny silver-haired brat had been able to simply reduce him to nothing, sealing all his monstrous power with a single touch. He had just told him that he belonged to him. But now he was perfectly aware of who really belonged to whom. Snow was like a bright, divine archer, holding a bow able to fire both life and death. And he … he was just an insignificant arrow. A deadly, destructive arrow. But only an arrow, nonetheless. And, as an arrow, he had no other choice but to abide by the archer’s will.
“These here … these are mine …” he whispered, softly caressing Snow’s cool skin, feeling the daitai vibrate against his fingers. “And I am sorry that you have to carry them …” He suddenly felt sorry for so many things that his throat tightened and he couldn’t speak.
A gentle hand petted his head and ZaiWin immediately relaxed.
Snow couldn’t understand the meaning of his words, but he could tell that he was suddenly feeling very sad, which in turn left him sad as well. And so he tried to comfort him as best as he could, even though he had never comforted anyone before. All he could think of was the way Sand used to pet his head, and that it always made him feel better. And so, even though he still felt unsure, that’s what he did.
The large hands that suddenly grabbed him startled him, making him gasp. And before he knew what had happened he was sitting on ZaiWin’s lap, straddling his legs, which was terribly awkward, to say the least. What was he trying to do?
The hand that grabbed his chin made him tilt his head back and look up at him.
“You really are a silly boy, aren’t you?”
Snow blinked in confusion and then frowned. Was he trying to pick a fight now?
ZaiWin didn’t wait for him to answer and hugged him tight against his chest.
“Close your eyes. I’m taking us home.”
Was all the warning Snow got, before ZaiWin dragged them both into the darkness.
AutumnLeaves· Aug 7, 2020
