Snow took a deep breath, stretching languidly. He felt warm and cozy, lying on that smooth surface, his body wrapped in something soft. He had never felt this good when waking up. Waking up had always meant having to face the world around him. And, most of the times, what he had found once he opened his eyes had been far from pleasant.
Lazily opening his eyes, he had to blink a few times to bring his sight into focus. There was someone there, standing by the window. And, even though that fact should have scared him, at the very least sent a subconscious alarm running through his brain, his body remained relaxed, his mind still enjoying the comfortable feeling of that moment.
He was getting dressed, Snow realized, watching ZaiWin pull a tunic over his head. For a moment he caught a glimpse of his back, as the smooth fabric covered his skin. Black. He had the sensation that his back had been completely covered in black lines. But, by the time he tried to focus and get a better look at it, ZaiWin was already dressed again, and he was quickly gathering his long, silky hair in a new ponytail.
Even though Snow didn’t make a single sound, it didn’t take long for ZaiWin to turn back, those blue eyes catching him red-handed as he blatantly watched him. With some sense finally crawling back into Snow’s mind, he quickly averted his gaze, feeling his cheeks heat up.
So … hmm … how was he supposed to face him?, Snow wondered, sinking deeper, under the blankets. ZaiWin had … hmm … touched him there …
It wasn’t as if he had been the first person to do that to him, he recalled, foggy images of other people, different men and women, doing the same exact thing. But, back then, he hadn’t had the slightest idea of what was happening, the world around him constantly spinning and shifting, constantly going out of focus, the faces of those people changing so fast that he couldn’t tell when they had arrived or left. Some had even … used their mouths, Snow recalled, feeling sick to his stomach, pressing a shaky hand to his mouth. And then he realized. That was exactly how he had felt, every time they touched him. Even though he had been drugged, his mind in a constant daze, he had always felt sickened, disgusted, he had even thrown-up on more than one occasion. He had hated the feeling of those hands on him, of their warm breath on his skin. He had felt sick with the smell of their sweet perfumes. He had hated even more the fact that he hadn’t been able to move, that he hadn’t been able to control his body, that, even though he felt all that, sometimes his body would still react to those repulsive hands.
But with ZaiWin … Snow never felt anything like that. Not when he kissed him. Not when he touched him. Not even … when he had done that to him. Quite the contrary. It had felt … embarrassingly good. His heart hadn’t cowered in fear and disgust inside his chest. In truth, it had beaten even faster, even stronger, wanting to reach out to him. And, even though Snow always felt scared at the way he lost himself to those overwhelming sensations, those warm hands always felt comforting and reassuring, telling him that there was nothing to be afraid of, because they would always be there to catch him when he fell, and to gently put him back together when his mind shattered from sheer pleasure. Of course, those hands were also the hands that always mercilessly broke him to pieces to begin with, Snow grunted in his thoughts. Especially when ZaiWin openly ignored his pleas to be spared. Still, even though he knew he should, he couldn’t truly resent him for any of that.
The way the mattress sagged immediately erased all his thoughts, leaving just the sound of his heart, beating faster inside his chest. Soon he would touch him, Snow knew. And warmth would flood his entire body. And he couldn’t help but want that. But, at the same time, he still had no idea of how he should face him.
A warm hand covered the top of his head, telling him that he had failed in his attempt to completely hide under the blanket. And then something even hotter touched his hair, and Snow knew he had kissed him.
“Are you going to hide in there the whole day?”
There was a certain, strange playfulness in ZaiWin’s voice that Snow had never noticed before, and his silly heart immediately jumped in response to that. Was he smiling again? Snow really liked seeing him smile, all that serious bitterness erased from his beautiful face. But, right now, he didn’t have enough courage to take a look and see.
Gripping the blanket, Snow simply nodded.
A heavy sigh filled his ears.
“I was going to ask if you wanted to take a look outside.” Snow’s curiosity immediately perked at this. “This is also my first time in this town. Seven Waters, they call it,” ZaiWin casually went on.
“Someone told me that it was called this way because of its seven water channels, and that the people here use them to move around town. They even have a floating market. So I was wondering if you wanted to go and take a look at it. Maybe get something to eat? I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”
Yes, now that he talked about it, Snow was actually feeling hungry as well. And he did want to see the floating market! He had never seen one before. He couldn’t even imagine very well how it would look like. But … wasn’t ZaiWin embarrassed at all? Not even a little bit …?, he wondered, slowly lowering the blanket to take a peek at him.
He was immediately greeted by that disturbing smile that always made his heart beat faster.
“Want to go?”
Snow nodded timidly. ZaiWin looked just fine. No changes at all. Except for that smile, of course. Realizing that actually allowed Snow to relax, although, at the same time, he couldn’t help feeling a bit irked.
“Good. So. Will you get dressed on your own? Or do you want me to help you?”
Amusement danced in those blue eyes, and Snow couldn’t help glare angrily at him.
“I can do it myself!”
ZaiWin smiled and, leaning forward, placed a kiss on his forehead, stealing his breath away.
“You’re such a good boy when you want to,” he declared, making Snow blink in confusion. And then he simply stood up, quickly straightening his own clothes. “Can you unfreeze the door for me?”
Snow frowned. Somehow, he had the feeling that ZaiWin had just made fun of him. Sighing in defeat, he cleared his mind and did as he was told.
“I’ll be right back,” ZaiWin told him, already halfway to the door. “Just hurry up and get dressed,” he added, and then Snow was finally left alone.
Language:
ZaiWin: Literally zai (blade) + win (chaos).
I really hate hearing those past experiences of his