“Greens, please step forward.”
GinWan1Literally gin (golden) + wan (fire) did as we was told, with a bored expression on his face, carrying his sword under his arm as if it were a mere piece of wood. The boy who would soon face him looked even paler than the girl, nervously chewing on his lower lip.
“You may take your positions.”
Both boys jumped to the closest stones and from there to a platform of their choosing.
Though obviously nervous, the blond boy was clearly a much better fighter than MinXin2Literally min (fast) + xin (rain)., easily finding his balance on top of the floating platform, his stance proper and secure.
GinWan, on the other hand, looked more like a live-size doll, his lean body wobbling back and forth, his sword still tucked under one arm. His red-hair remained carefully pulled up by shiny silver hairpins and the free fiery locks kept dancing against his neck and face.
“Begin!”
FeiWan3Literally fei (raging / furious) + wan (fire) at his side sighed as if he were about to watch a depressing show.
Nervously holding his sword, the blond boy immediately took on a defensive stance, obviously expecting some kind of blitz attack which, after a few moments of waiting, was clear that would never come. Slowly relaxing, he took his time observing his opponent.
With his eyes half-closed into two slits, as if the bright light of the day didn’t allow him to clearly see his surroundings, GinWan looked as disinterested as always, wobbling back and forth, almost as if he were about to fall asleep.
Obviously confused, the blond boy took a peek towards the river bank where they all stood and, since no one signaled him otherwise, finally decided to take matters into his own hands.
Holding his sword to one side, the tip pointing towards to raging waters, he made his move, jumping in a beautiful but predictable textbook attack. And yet, even though his trajectory and purpose were more than obvious, GinWan still didn’t move, looking half-asleep.
Seeing that his adversary wasn’t trying to defend himself, the blond boy forced himself to hold back, diverting his sword to one side at the last minute, grazing GinWan’s tunic and lightly cutting his arm in the process. Jumping back in alarm at his adversary’s lack of reaction, he almost fell into the water, fighting to regain his balance. Reason why he missed the expression of cold, maddening fury that immediately took over GinWan’s face.
Slipping his long fingers through the cut on his tunic he stared at his own blood, anger building up. And in the next instant he’d already jumped from his platform, moving so fast that ZaiWin4Literally zai (blade) + win (chaos). could hardly follow him. Holding his sword with both hands, he swung it as if it were a bat, crashing it into the blond boy’s back, sending him flying head-first into the water and easily taking his place atop the floating platform.
Once more relaxed, looking as if he’d just concluded his task, GinWan stuck his sword under one arm again, his expression back to that cold indifference, and just stood there, wobbling back and forth.
Watching the river, they all waited to see the blond boy swim up to the surface like MinXin had done but, for a long while, nothing happened.
FeiWan at his side sighed again when the two judges jumped into the water to look for him. It didn’t take them long to find him, and the blond boy’s dead body was dragged out of the water and sprawled on river bank.
Even though young of age, ZaiWin had seen his share of dead people to know that it was too late, and that all life was gone from him. But the two men that had guided them there still tried their best to reanimate him, MinXin sobbing in fear.
“He’s dead,” one of them finally announced and they all turned to GinWan, still atop the floating platform. “For use of deadly force, GinWan, minus five points.”
As if he couldn’t care less, he simply jumped back to dry land, sword tucked under his arm, and joined them as if nothing had happened. In fact, besides MinXin, who kept sobbing, no one really seemed to care. Not the contestants and much less the judges.
Please continue to write for the whole day. I am not looking forward to catching up with your current updates. That means I'll have to find new things to read. I'm happy that you are milking this flashback because that means you plan to take your time with the story, to which I give two thumbs up! But in my black little heart, I'm frustrated that this arc is gonna eat up all the chapters that have been stockpiled thus far. ***hnngghh***
less five points
--> minus five points
Yeah, I know ... Lots of people wanted to chew my head off at how long this arc is -_- I even got some nasty reviews on another platform I'm writing on. To tell you the truth even I was conflicted about uploading all of it or simply chopping it down. But then I felt that this was a good foundation, not only for ZaiWin, but for other characters as well, like FeiWan, CalWan and NimRen, not to mention my psychotic twins. Because Snow is not around everyone gets really impatient ... A bit further ahead I had another arc like this one, about how ZaiWin, VinWei and LanWei met. But I've already decided to tell the important facts another way, before I start getting curses and death threats thrown at me through my computer screen.
@Silvareiel Seriously they need to lighten up. Just let it show you how invested they are in your story. Pay no heed to black powder fans. It's just a twisted form of love. :P If you haven't read MXTX, she's a real genius at flashbacks, I think. When you watch the MDZS anime (sorry, I'm a huge fan), they do the flashbacks in one big chunk, taking up the whole season. BUT, in the book, it was all brought up when it was necessary, without it seeming like the author just threw it in there the moment some extra backstory was needed. It's a fine balance between showing forethought and being tedious! I certainly can't funambulate that well!
@LiquidCeil Me too! Huge fan here! ^_^ I even got to the trouble of copying every single chapter so I can safely keep them, in case one they they're brought down or something. I have a folder in my pc with everything MDZS related, from novel, anime and live lol And I have to confess I did learn a lot reading the novel ^_^ I also wish I could write flashbacks like those - interesting, well-paced and well-balanced. Above all I envy the ability the author has of suddenly making you laugh. It's something I greatly lack. My sense of humor as a writer sucks lol.
@Silvareiel I couldn't watch the untamed. The acting physically hurt me DX (I'm such a wimp when it comes to production quality. It can make or break the experience for me. I'm too used to America's high budgets & resources.) I'm really bad at being a good fan and knowing where all the people are gathered, sharing their fanart and fanfics, but oh well. I'm fine in my little recluse corner away from social media where I can drool at LanWanJi and re-reading chapters 96, 111, & 117 over and over again.