[Mei Shimizu's POV]

I've always been "different" from others. Slightly more arrogant and condescending than others. Partly due to living in a rich and well-established household, and being spoiled by my parents from when I was a child, until now. High grades were normal to me, and sports came naturally to me as well. Due to this, I didn't understand other people.

"Why can't you do it?"

The first time I had said this to someone struggling to solve a problem, they broke into tears. 

"You wouldn't understand Shimizu-san!!!"

SLAP!

My cheek stung. They ran away, leaving me in the classroom.

Maybe for the first time, I had woken up from that slap.

Realising that other people were different from me, that things didn't come naturally to them as it did for me.

Alas, the only thing I thought when I was first slapped was, 

"Foolish."

----------

That first time was in my first year of Junior Highschool. 

I couldn't stop the words from slipping out of my mouth.

"Isn't this easy? You should be able to do this."
"It's not hard. Just think with your brain."
"It should naturally come to you. Why are you thinking so hard?"

Each time I made their hearts shatter, the more I grew colder. Frustration filled me, trying to understand why it was so hard for people to do the same things that I did. My words would only hurt other people, so I gradually began to close off my heart. I distanced myself from people, hoping that my words would never reach them, that I wouldn't unconsciously spit venomous words that plunged their souls.

The more I distanced myself, the sharper and colder my words and expressions became.

Eventually, I gave up. I accepted my fate as a person that only knew how to hurt people, that I would never learn to become a kind and considerate person, that I would never be accepted and understood.

That is, until I met Touma Jiro.

He was the embodiment of a good person. 

Kind, compassionate, honest, empathetic, humble, patient.

He was the first to reach out to me, after all these years of hurting people.

"Fujiwara-san, are you okay? You seem distressed."
"Don't talk to me."
"..."

Most people would normally get mad, saying that I was unbelievably rude and condescending. They would usually never talk to me after that. But not Touma.

Day after day, he would come to me with a bright stupid smile on his face, asking what I liked, the activities I would do in my own time, how I was so good at academics and sports. He would share his bento with me, even though I always brought the expensive lunch that my first-class chef made. Not once did he avoid me. 

He was stupidly positive and kind. His sincerity lighted up my dull gray world. He slowly melted the frost on my heart.

Eventually, I grew to like him. 

----------

Then the accident happened.

I was kidnapped by 3 unknown men for ransom. I let my guard down, after all these years of no trouble walking back home by myself. 

I distinctly remember the mental trauma that flooded my mind at the time. The feeling of their hands on my body, as their eyes seemed to lick the ins and crevices of it, the feeling of my clothes slowly being stripped away from me. I knew what was going to happen to me. I struggled, but I knew that I couldn't do anything. I was alone. Helpless, unable to call for help.

Nobody was going to help me. Not the boy who tried to call the police earlier and tried to stop them. Not the people that I hurt in the past. And not Touma.

How would he know?

He wouldn't have.

Yet, desperately in my heart, I screamed for Touma.

My prayers were answered.

But it wasn't Touma that came out from the dark shadows of the warehouse, but the young boy that had tried to save me first.

I didn't understand. I remember hurting this person too. I berated him, despised him, slapped him. He had no reason to try and help me. Not a singular reason. In fact, I wouldn't even be surprised if he just left me alone to suffer.

Yet, there he was.

He should of never been able to come here. I saw his head slam into the wall. He should of been injured, unable to chase us as the van drove away from him. He should of have given up. Yet-

Don't.

Don't give me hope. 

You should run away.

I hurt you.

Leave me and just go.

My thoughts were interrupted.

The sound of a metal crowbar reverbed in the warehouse, as I sat there dazed watching his dancing figure. The moonlight encompassed his body, as he swung the crowbar. 

The third person pulled out a gun. 

No! Watch out!

BANG!

He fell to the floor. My eyes clouded, as I felt the emptiness fill in my void.

However, the young boy was still alive. 

I took the chance. I tackled the man with the pistol. 

"G- get off my you fucking bitch!!!"

Just a few more seconds. I just need to hold on for a tiny bit longer. This will soon be over.

BANG!

The man stopped moving. I turned around to see the boy slouched over on the ground. He fainted.

----------

If I was to describe the difference between Touma and Ishikawa, it would be this:
If Touma was the one who lit up my dull gray world with light like the sun, Ishikawa would be the one who painted the entire world with colour.

Touma provided me with warmth, while Ishikawa made me attain the emotions that I had locked in my heart. 

The day when he saved me, I felt as if all my years of harshness and coldness disappeared from my body. 

I tried talking to him. But there was a big problem. While my coldness disappeared, my pride and ego stayed. 

I pestered him, like an annoying fly that buzzed around him. I didn't know how else to get him to talk to me. This was the only way I knew how. I knew that he was gradually getting frustrated at me, but I couldn't stop myself.

He was cute, in a good way. His reactions were more expressive and funnier than Touma's. Touma reacted in the same way each time, with soft words and a bright stupid smile, while Isamu's was all over the place, from furrowing his brows, to clicking his tongue, to darting his eyes left and right, and the rare occasion of him with a concerned face that read, "Are you okay?"

Isamu was very different from Touma. While I wouldn't describe him as kind, he was someone who was perceptive and considerate. His "kindness" was different from Touma's.

Touma's kindness was the type that would warm your heart and naturally make you smile, while Isamu's kindness was the type that was extremely subtle but cute.

Isamu hid his kindness behind actions and words, such as switching with my position to walk on the side closest on the road, calling me annoying yet adjusting his body in such a way to make it easier for me to sit next to him and talk to him, and slowing down his pace of walking to match mine, even though he expressively told me to leave him alone.

Deep in his obsidian abyss-like eyes, I could see the small sincerity that treated everyone the same.

My body filled to the brim with warmth each time I saw him. I felt as if I could act as my true self, without the need of wearing a mask that protected my fragile fake coldness. He tore the chains apart that held my heart in place.

That is what Isamu is to me. 

----------

One day, I was talking to Touma again. Apart from Isamu, he was really the only other boy that I could talk to without lashing out in venom as a defense mechanism. 

He extended his right hand towards me to give me something.

I jolted, as my body violently shook.

"Huh? Are you okay Fujiwara-san?"

"..."

My body shivered. I still couldn't get over the trauma. The touch of any boy caused a violent reaction in me, feelings of puking and anxiety filled me, as if something was stuck in my throat.

"...Sorry, Touma."

"...No, it was my fault for forgetting."

Awkwardness fell between us. 

----------

"Do you want to hold hands, Ishikawa-kun? Maybe the problem will go away then."
"Sure."
"..."

I was shocked. This was my chance. Yet, it turned out that I was a bigger coward than I thought. I wrote it off as a joke.

"...Thank god you were just kidding... I wouldn't know how to react if I found out that the Ice Princess was secretly a pervert that held other people's hands for her own pleasure..."

I froze.

"Wha- Ha-!?"
"Seriously, I was scared shitless for a moment."

No! That isn't what I was implying when I asked to hold hands! The only person I want to hold hands with is you...

I felt my face feeling hotter after acknowledging my thoughts.

'You stupid idiot, Isamu!'

I stormed off.

----------

"Hmm? Shimizu-san, do you know how to cook?"

"...Yes."

I lied. I wanted him to think I was extremely good at cooking. Who wanted to show the bad sides to the person they liked? Partly because my pride and ego didn't allow me to admit that I was terrible at cooking.

"Damn.... I never knew the Ice Princess would lie to me!"

What!? No, how did he find out?

"Don't be telling lies now, young lady! Cleaaaarly, it seems more that your lunch box was packed not by you, but rather a chef!"

"I- I'm-"

"Now you're resorting to making excuses??? I never thought you were that low, Shimizu-san."

"NO! Tha-"

"You definitely suck at cooking too, don't you?"

"NO!"

He found out. I was embarrassed and shocked. My heart palpated like crazy. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. I just wanted to feed food to him, yet things turned out like this instead.

"I mean, I wouldn't be surprised, especially when you live in a well-established household, so obviously someone's gonna be cooking for you... So rest assured, Shimizu-san! The fact that you cannot make any sort of identifiable edible food will forever stay with me, zipped and sealed away from the rest of the world. You can count on me!"

"..."

I felt as if my whole body crumbled from the ground up, turning into a mist of dust that faded into the atmosphere. 

Ahhh... It's over for me.

Tears rolled down the side of my face. Sorrow filled me, while Isamu stood there stun-locked in place as guilt filled his expression.

I saw the presence of his right hand extending to me, just like what Touma had did to me earlier a few days ago. My body was supposed to reject it, to feel disgust, to run away from it. Yet-

Eh?

The feeling of his rough yet warm hands touched my head. 

I didn't feel revolted. Instead, I felt like a small flame was gradually firing up inside of me, as if filling each and every part of my body with warmth. 

It felt good. Really good. 

To the point where I didn't even think about anything and wanted him to do it forever.

Eventually though, the warmth left my head, alas making me quite regretful and unsatisfied.

"...Ah..."

Isamu said he would make it up to me. So, I took the only chance I had.

"Mei." (Shimizu)

"Huh?" (Isamu)

"Call me by my first name, Mei." (Shimizu)

He struggled to get his words out. Eventually, he called me Mei-san.

No. That isn't what I want.

I tugged the hem of his clothes.

Hurry up. I want to hear it now.

Seemingly made up his mind, he opened his mouth once again.

"Mei."

The myriad of emotions that exploded within shook my body. 

"Isamu."

His name came out easily. It was not hard at all to say it. I had longed to call him by his first name the first time he walked in the classroom after his departure from the hospital. I held back until now.

The edges of my lips naturally curled up.

Isamu seemed dazed. Then after a few moments he-

"...Cute."

----------

I immediately ran off. 

What?

What did he mean by that?

Cute? 

Me?

A person that has always shunned other people and shown a cold demeanor was called cute?

Ah.....

My palms were sweating, and my body felt like it was burning in a hot fever. 

It's over for me....