5

Dressed Up

I sat down exhausted for the last period of the week. It was Friday, and two nights had passed since I had gone to the arcade. Once again, I had English with Ms. Castillo. The class had gone by pretty uneventfully, although I did feel Ms. Castillo taking glances at me pretty often. I rubbed my temple, I really hope she didn’t think I was gay.

“Psst. Hey, Jacob,” I heard Ryan say from the seat next to me. I internally sighed, I hoped he wasn’t going to ask for anything more from me.

“Yeah?” I replied. I took out an earbud I had on while working. I always did like to listen to music while working, although my taste in it was a little old-fashioned. Rock and Grunge from the 90s made up the majority of my playlist. “What is it?’

“Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to catch a movie at the mall after this class,” he said. “It’s okay if you don’t want to, but I thought I needed to repay you.”

“Umm,” I said, checking my phone. My parents would be out until 8 today and I was ahead on all my work, so I did have plenty of time to go. Ultimately the choice came down to me. “Sure. Let’s watch one.”

“Great,” Ryan said, pumping his arm. “I’ll see you after school.”

***

We walked into the dimmed theater, illuminated by only a few lights. It was quite messy, as the smell of popcorn lingered in the air and the carpeted floor seemed to be as sticky as could be. Several posters hung on the wall, showing all the latest movies. Immediately, I felt overwhelmed by the number of choices we had. The theater was massive and had far too many movies playing.

“So, what do you want to watch?” I asked, hoping Ryan would make the choice for me.

“Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, this sounds interesting,” he said. He looked at his phone and looked back up at me. “There’s one playing in ten minutes, so we can catch it without a wait. Our other option is the Boss Baby 2, which is also playing in ten minutes, so I think Shang-Chi is the safer bet.”

“Yeah, I would rather not watch Boss Baby,” I said laughing.

“Look, all I’m going to say is the Boss Baby Netflix show wasn’t too bad,” he said.

“The more interesting thing is why you’d even watch that in the first place.”

“Okay, okay,” Ryan held up both hands above his head as if he was guilty of something. “I was bored, I needed something to watch, the Boss Baby was there.”

“So you watched an entire season of Boss Baby.”

“Four, actually,” he said, coughing.

“Maybe we should watch The Boss Baby instead, it seems like you’re its biggest fan,” I said. A playful grin grew on my face, as I internally giggled at the idea of this jock watching a kid’s show at home.

“Hey, I’m not its biggest fan, I just enjoyed a few seasons of quality kid's television. Anyways, let’s go get our tickets now.”

We both walked up to the automated ticket booth, where Ryan quickly selected and paid for our tickets.

“I’ll pay for today,” he said. “As apologies for the blackmail, of course. Anyways, are you into Marvel movies? The one we’re going to watch is one, so hopefully you like them.”

“No, not really,” I replied. “I kind of kept up with it until Endgame but I haven’t cared about it since.”

“Same,” Ryan said. “But still, I’m sure the movie is fun enough.”

We made our way to the concession stand. I scanned the menu, and it was filled with all the movie theater classics. They even had a large-sized pizza on there. But despite the multitude of choices, there was nothing I particularly wanted.

“I don’t really want anything,” I said. “You can just get popcorn, I guess.”

“One large popcorn and two bottles of water please,” Ryan said to the employee.

“Water?” I asked. I was expecting us to get a soft drink.

“Healthiest drink out there. Don’t think I got these by drinking junk all day,” he said, pulling up his sleeve and flashing a bicep.

“Yeah, yeah, sure Mr. Olympia,” I said. I couldn’t help but laugh at his antics.

“Here’s your order,” the teenage employee said, handing us our food.

“Okay, let’s go watch the movie now, there are only a few minutes left,” Ryan said, sticking his thumb at the theater halls.

***

“That was pretty good,” I said. I tossed the empty popcorn box into the trash bin as we walked out of the theater. I rubbed my eyes a little at the sudden brightness of the mall after sitting in a dark room for hours.

“It was,” Ryan said. “If I didn’t fall asleep, it must mean it’s pretty good.”

“You fall asleep during movies? What’s the point in going then?” I asked, leaning over to look at him.

“I don’t intend to. It’s just sometimes the movie’s boring, the seat’s comfy, and the room’s cool. Sleep just naturally comes to me.”

“Okay, sleepyhead,” I said. “Are we going to do anything else?” My eyes scanned the various shops nestled in the mall. I did want to go shopping, but I looked like a guy and I was still broke as can be.

“Is there anything you want to do?”

“I mean I would like to go shopping but I can’t really when I look like this.”

“What do you mean?” Ryan asked. He looked intently at my face, trying to figure out what I was saying.

“I mean, I still look like a guy without makeup,” I said. I drew a circle around my face with my finger, emphasizing it. “I’m not sure if this would pass as a girl.”

“Why would you need to look like a girl to go shopping though?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh,” I replied. “I don’t really care about male fashion. If I’m spending my money on clothes I want it to be feminine.” It was the truth. I didn’t bother much about what I wore as a guy. I usually went with jeans and a shirt in the summer and jeans and a hoodie in the winter. When it came to girl’s fashion, however, there were just so many options. Not to mention I wanted to look cute and all dressed up.

“That makes sense, I guess,” he said, clearly not getting what I meant. “I’ll be honest, you still look like a girl. But if you’re nervous we can always get you some makeup. Here, let’s get going.”

Ryan suddenly grabbed my hand and started marching off to the nearest makeup store. I blushed at the sudden skinship. His hand was larger and rougher than mine, but still felt warm and comforting. I was surprised by the strength of his grip, especially in comparison to my very weak arm.

“So, what do you need?” he asked as we entered the makeup store hand in hand.

“Can you let me go first,” I squeaked. By then I was furiously blushing, and very embarrassed. I really wasn’t used to that level of physical intimacy with someone. My parents were the only ones who touched me, and even they didn’t do that all that often.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he said. He let my hand go and shoved his own in his pockets. “I just grabbed you out of instinct, sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I muttered. I shook my head, trying to forget about it. “But I’m not sure if we should do this, last time I went crossdressing in this mall, well, you know what happened.”

“If you feel uncomfortable you don’t have to do it. But I can watch out for anyone at school and distract them if they come near us.”

“You know what, sure,” I said. I couldn’t hide forever and I did really want to go shopping. “Anyways, the bare minimum for makeup would be foundation, eyeliner, and lipstick.”

“Okay, then let’s get those,” he said.

“Okay then, let me choose some real quick,” I replied. I looked for some foundation that matched my skin tone. After furiously rubbing a lot of different shades onto the back of my hand, I was able to find one that matched me quite well. From there, finding some decent ink eyeliner and lipstick only took a minute.

“Okay, I got them,” I said to Ryan. “There isn’t a whole lot but this should be enough for me to pass as a girl.”

“Great, I’ll buy it for you,” he said, snatching them out of my hand. Before I even had the chance to say something, he was already handing his card over to the cashier. “There, you go,” he walked back to me and handed me the products. “You can get them on now, there’s a mirror over there.”

I awkwardly applied makeup using the tiny mirror provided by the store. Applying eyeliner was even more difficult than usual considering that I was standing up and could barely see my own eyes. After a few painful minutes, I was finally finished with my emergency makeup.

“I’m all done,” I said. My voice automatically changed to my feminine one without me even thinking.

“I’ll always be amazed by what you can do with your voice,” Ryan said, shaking his head.

***

I’d been dragging Ryan across the mall for 30 minutes now, but I didn’t find anything I particularly liked yet. Something finally caught my attention as I skidded to a stop in front of a store. A very pretty dress stood on display, the very same one I saw on Monday, the day when Ryan caught me. The soft shade of blue was just as pretty as ever, and I adored that ribbon.

“Something caught your eye?” Ryan asked. He strolled up behind me and looked around to see interested me.

“Oh nothing,” I said, shaking my head. “Let’s get going.”

“Really? Because to me, it seems like you like that dress a lot,” Ryan said. He pointed towards the dress and nodded. “It does look really nice.”

“How did you know?” I asked, sighing. “But I don’t have the money for it though, so I can’t get it.”

“Come, I’ll get you it,” he said. He began walking into the store nonchalantly as if it wasn’t a problem at all.

“Wait,” I said, chasing him into the store. “It’s super expensive, you can’t buy it for me.”

“Ma’am, can my friend try that dress that’s on display please,” he asked the worker, ignoring my words. I stood there shaking Ryan’s arm while the worker went to work stripping the mannequin of the dress. “Come on, we got this far, you have to at least try it on.”

“Fine,” I said back. I gave the cashier a thank you and scampered off to the changing rooms with the dress. I slipped off my rather plain clothes and put the dress on, enjoying how the smooth fabric touched my skin. I looked in the mirror and couldn’t help but smile, it really did look cute. I really did look cute. I couldn’t help but strike a few poses as I relished the feeling of the cool breeze on my legs.

“Are you going to come out?” I heard Ryan’s voice echo from outside the room. I had lost track of how much time I’d spent looking at myself.

“Sorry, I’m coming out now,” I said. I opened the door and did a quick twirl to show off the dress’ skirt. “How does it look?”

“Wow,” he said. “You look really cute.”

“Do I?” I asked, my voice cracking slightly. I looked down, embarrassed at his words. “Thanks.”

“Anyways, I already bought it,” he said. “We can get going now.”

“What?” I yelled. “But it’s super expensive and you already bought me so many things today.”

“Look,” he said, cutting me off. “Just take it as thanks from me and the rest of the club for helping us get it off the ground.”

“Fine,” I said. I felt that Ryan would be as stubborn as a mule and that it would just be better to accept the gift. He had already bought me so many things today that I was feeling guilty. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” he replied. “Let’s go get some dessert now, I need something to get rid of the greasy feeling I have after devouring that popcorn. We definitely put way too much butter on it.”

“We did,” I said, laughing.

***

I licked at the ice cream, holding the cone with both hands. Ryan sat across from me in the vintage ice cream parlor. It was designed as if it was the 50s, with a checkered floor and old-fashioned menus. Even the workers were dressed up in vintage costumes. All in all, the place had a really unique ambiance. I was able to eat in peace, considering Ryan finally relented and let me buy the ice cream for the both of us.

“So,” Ryan said. “Today wasn’t too bad, was it?”

“No, it was actually pretty nice!” I exclaimed, wiping my mouth with a tissue. “I guess I can’t really turn down free clothes. I usually have to buy those myself with the money I make selling homework. Thanks again, by the way.”

“No problem,” he said with a chuckle. “I feel like it was the least I could do to repay you. That dress really does look nice on you.”

“Thanks,” I said. Red involuntarily filled my cheeks, I wasn’t used to being complimented very often.

“Oh, by the way, do you have another name you use when you’re out like this?” he asked, broadly gesturing at my current getup. He leaned in a little bit and whispered. “It would feel a little weird calling you Jacob when you’re like this.”

“Oh,” I said. I’d actually been thinking of this ever since I got back from the arcade. In the last few days, I felt a certain disconnect from my name, as if it didn’t fit me quite as well anymore. I didn’t know why, it was still the same name I’d always had. Yet, I felt like something else would fit me better. “Julie would be nice.”

“Julie,” Ryan repeated, as his face broke out into a lopsided grin. “That’s a cute name for a cute girl.”

“I’m not a girl,” I tried to say confidently. However, by the way, my voice went up several octaves, it was clear I was flustered.

“Yes, yes,” he said, chuckling.

“I mean, I guess when I’m like this you can call me a girl though,” I meekly said.

“Oh, really?” he exclaimed in surprise. “I just meant it as a joke but if that’s what you want…”

“That’s what I want,” I said. I didn’t know where that sudden burst of confidence had come from, but at that moment, I knew I wanted to be treated like a girl.

“Okay then, Julie,” he said with a smile.

I tried to hide a grin, but it soon became obvious as it spread across my face. I didn’t know why I liked being referred to as a girl so much, but it nonetheless made me happy.

***

I hummed a little in excitement as I walked home, today was a really nice day and I was feeling like I was on cloud nine. I fished the keys out of the shopping bag I had in my arms and opened the front door. I checked myself out a little bit in the mirror standing in the hallway before turning to go to the second floor.

I walked up the stairs, taking two steps at a time out of excitement. I finally rounded the corner and I froze. I was met by Daniel, my brother. His mouth agape, he stared at me with his blue eyes not even blinking. Shit, I had completely forgotten about him. My heart completely sunk as a sense of dread filled every nook and cranny of my body. I was discovered yet again. What a week this was.