‘Once, just once I’d like to walk into one of these tents and find it’s a party, you know with food, drink, people dancing, a girl crying in the corner.’ Jack ranted.

            ‘Is it alien?’ Gwen asked.

            ‘And how,’ Jack wondered. ‘I’m picking up traces of ilmenite, pyroxene, and even Dark Matter.’

            ‘Any idea what it is?’

            ‘Not a dickie bird.’ I huffed, kneeling down on the hard and sharp concrete. ‘It could be a weapon, a bomb…or a stapler.’

            ‘A really big stapler.’ Jack agreed. ‘How’s our friend there?’

            Owen looked up from his pit in the ground, his hands still hovering over the skeleton, pointedly.

            ‘She’s dead.’ He said, talking over the high pitched whirring or his medical equipment getting 3D scans of the site.

            ‘Yeah, thanks Quincy.’ Jack said sarcastically. ‘She?’

            ‘Yeah judging by the size of her skull.’

            ‘How long have they been here Tosh?’ Jack asked.

            ‘From the depth they found them…a hundred and ninety-six years, eleven to eleven and a half months, the earth’s been disturbed so I’m afraid I can’t be more accurate.’

            ‘Well it’s a good thing we’re not looking for the time of death then.’ I joked to which Tosh smiled.

            ‘What killed her?’ Gwen asked. ‘The stapler?’

            ‘Nah,’ Owen grumbled. ‘See those shattered ribs? I reckon she was shot.’

            ‘So let’s get her back to the Hub and find out.’ Jack declared, standing up.

            He held out a hand to me which I took, using it to push myself up. I was a little shaky but I put that down to the concrete being practically decimated and crumbling under my shoe. Jack led me out of the tent that had been set up around the burial site, holding open the plastic flap of a door for me. I was about to thank him when I saw the multiple messages on my phone.

Melinda: Do you think we’re going to shift on the begonia’s or are we set on the lilies? I’m just thinking it might look like we’re planning for a funeral here.

Melinda: Okay scratch that, I’ve seen a beautiful arrangement that has lilies and gib in it and it matches the colour scheme.

Melinda: Chris is wondering where you put his pants but he’s too stubborn to ask. Oh! Also I found another boutique we can go to when you get back, what time do you finish?

Melinda: Okay so apparently you usually work late but that’s okay because this place has late appointments and it’s open to eleven, bit weird but I’m not complaining.

            Chris: You know it’s not too late to make a run for it and elope in Vegas.

            Melinda: I’ve spoken with Wyatt and according to him we can get the venue booked for this winter but you’d have to make a decision within the next two hours so they know to hold the spot.

            Chris: Or we could go to Morocco, how about Hawaii? What about New Zealand?

            Melinda: Helloooooooooo super-secret agent can you text me a three letter word please?

            Melinda: I found my pants

            Melinda: That wasn’t me that said that, it was Chris – ew.

            I had to stop walking to read through all the texts, the cold sun blaring from the sky and making it almost impossible to read the screen. I couldn’t even remember what venue Wyatt had been calling around about, the last time I checked there were twenty-eight options.

 Jack wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

            ‘How are we feeling?’ He asked.

            ‘Well apart from Chris’ family feeling like they’re invading my life, pretty well.’ I said, already clambering into the jeep. ‘That and the wedding planning, I’m meant to be going with the girls this weekend before we go to Gwen’s but I think in the time Chris’ sister, mum and aunts have been here we’ve been to nearly every bridal boutique in Cardiff.’

            ‘Ah weddings,’ Jack smiled. ‘They bring everyone together, especially the ones you can’t bear to be around.’

            ‘It’s not that I don’t like them it’s just that it’s all a bit too much, they want everything to be – you know I have an A2 slab of cardboard in my living room with seating arrangements even though we haven’t got the guest list sorted.’

            Jack jumped in the drivers seat, his eyes flicking back to me in the rear view mirror.

            ‘You deserve a perfect day Erin.’

            ‘Yeah well with my luck I’ll get halfway down the aisle and a fleet of Slitheen ships will crash into the side of us or better yet, a few hundred flying saucers…’ I trailed off. ‘Better stock up on Retcon, we’re gonna need it.’

 

***

‘I’m really sorry, I think your computer might be dead.’ The small voice of Owen said.

            ‘You’re kidding, what happened?’ Tosh asked, skirting up the stairs to her desk.

            I’d been busy replying to all the messages Melinda had sent and dealing with a few rogue flight tests from UNIT to listen in on Gwen and Owen’s fabulous little cock up, but I didn’t know they’d messed with Tosh’s computer.

            ‘Okay, so she said I was no good at sport…hello?’ Owen said as I poked my head around from my own monitor. ‘So I said, “well throw something to me.”’

            ‘What happened to the computer?’ Tosh asked, already seeming quite annoyed.

            I slipped off my chair and made my way up the stairs, trying what I could at her station to turn it back on but the computer screens stayed as black as the sky. Oh fuck, Owen!

            ‘I kicked out the plug.’ Owen admitted.

            ‘What?’ Tosh said, her voice filled with panic. ‘It was running a translation programme I’d written, I’d collated every scrap of alien language we’ve got, and broken it down into binary threads to see if there was a common derivation.’

            Oh Christ she’d been working on that for days, there were hundreds of lines of code on that thing.

            ‘That’s a bit of a mouthful.’ Owen joked to which Gwen laughed.

            ‘Shit Tosh, I’m sorry.’ I said squeezing her hand, moving back to the keyboard and after pressing the on button about a million times, all the monitors sprung to life.

            Although, as I looked for the language algorithm I bit my lip, since I couldn’t find it anywhere on the computer. Fuck had it knocked out the programme or just hidden it somewhere?

            ‘Guys.’ I said pointedly, a hand on my hip. ‘Seriously?’

            ‘Sorry, private joke, um stupid joke.’ Gwen apologised but I just rolled my eyes.

            So those two were still shagging then, I thought.

            ‘We’re supposed to be professionals!’ Tosh exclaimed. ‘We’ve got a job to do.’

            ‘She’s right,’ Gwen said, cutting Owen off before he could say anything. ‘You’re right Tosh, I’m sorry.’

            With that Gwen tepidly headed towards Ianto in the armoury and I had to hold in a scream. I got that they were in a fun friends with benefits thing or whatever this was but why were they making Tosh out to be the bad guy here? She cared about her work and they were just laughing about messing the whole thing up.

            ‘Do you know what Tosh?’ Owen asked. ‘Sometimes I think even that stick up your arse has a stick up its arse.’

            Tosh didn’t say anything, even though I hoped she would so I did.

            ‘Owen if I went down to the medical bay and erased the autopsy findings and then bashed your skeleton’s skull against the wall until it was nothing but ash you’d be pissed too.’ I said, backing her up. ‘You do other shit around here, Tosh does algorithms that take fucking ages to do so unless you wanna re-write it yourself-’

            ‘Oh get off your high horse-’

            ‘Get off someone else’s girlfriend and then we can talk Harper.’ I shook my head, biting my tongue before I said anything else.  

            I didn’t really have a place to judge what Gwen and Owen had going it, since it was none of my business but Harper was grinding my gears. Sometimes he could be a right arsehole. I always thought of him as a brother but that didn’t mean he wasn’t a raging arsehole half the time.

            Toshiko’s eyes drooped to her computer as Owen left, already clacking away at her keyboard but I knew by her eyes that she was upset.

            ‘Hey, don’t listen to him.’ I said softly, leaning on her desk. ‘It was his fault and then got mad at you because you didn’t find it as funny as he did, that’s it.’

            ‘I shouldn’t of shouted at them, I can just start the programme again.’

            ‘And how many hours is it going to take to complete?’ I asked, already knowing the answer.

            ‘At least eight.’

            ‘Which means you probably won’t be here when it’s all…configured.’ I said, not even trying to hide I was no tech wiz. ‘You’re allowed to be upset.’

            ‘I think I’m just going to take my lunch early,’ Tosh nodded, restarting her algorithm and reaching for her jacket.

            ‘Oh Tosh…’ I trailed off. ‘Let me come with you.’

            ‘I’d rather be on my own.’ She told me. ‘I’ll be back soon.’

            ‘Tosh-’ I tried but she was already walking away from me and down the stairs before I could say anything.

            Well that was fucking helpful Owen, thanks a bunch for being an arse, I thought.

            I sauntered back down to my desk, plopping down on my chair and continuing my email to Sarah Jane.

            ‘Ianto?’ I asked, seeing as he was nearby.

            ‘Yeah?’ He said, his head popping up.

            ‘Gwen and Owen are definitely shagging, right?’

            ‘I wouldn’t know.’

            ‘Oh don’t go all gentleman on me, no one knows more about this place than you do.’ I smiled.

            ‘That is true.’ He said proudly. ‘They leave separately, that’s all I’ve seen of it.’

            ‘Oh you know what?’ I asked. ‘Who cares anyway, do you have any plans tonight?’

            ‘No, just going home.’ Ianto said. ‘What about you?’

            ‘Well Chris’ family is still there so I’m planning to stay here for as long as physically possible and then I’ll head home, claim there was an emergency or something.’

            ‘The only emergency you have is the lack of your blue pastel post it notes.’ He joked.

            ‘Well that is an emergency,’ I said sarcastically, already popping onto Amazon to buy myself some more. ‘That will take a whole thirty seconds to purchase.’

            ‘How is everything, with the wedding?’

            ‘Oh well if Melinda keeps pushing on at this speed I’ll be walking in with your invitations tomorrow.’ I smirked. ‘She’s already put the flower order in.’

            ‘When is it?’

            ‘December.’ I said. ‘Chris wanted to get married as soon as possible which means everyone is on overdrive.’

            ‘You’re planning all of this in less than three months.’

            ‘Hey, we save the universe in less than fifty minutes, a wedding should be a piece of cake.’

            I spun around on my chair, leaning forward.

            ‘I think I’m going to ask Toshiko to be my Maid of Honour but I don’t know how, Melinda said I should do this whole gift box for her but I don’t know if that’ll be too much, what do you think?’

            ‘Well she does love white wine, you could do a bottle of that and then a card perhaps?’

            ‘Hm, yeah that could work, nothing too extravagant.’ I nodded. ‘Oh and since you’re coming to the movie night at the weekend, remember it is pj’s only so no fancy hair or make-up, God knows if I need to stay in this full face another five hours I’m going to claw it off.’

            ‘And just when I got my first makeup haul through the door the other day.’ Ianto laughed. ‘I’m heading out to grab lunch in a bit, do you want a hot chocolate while I’m out?’

            ‘Yeah, go on.’ I said. ‘Where are you going for lunch?’

            ‘Oh now that, that is a surprise.’ He said.

            ‘It’s a surprise…but it’s your lunch what part of it would be surprising to you?’

            ‘No, you.’ He corrected. ‘I know you love different foods and since you haven’t made an appointment with David, I thought this could be our thing.’

            ‘I’ve just been busy with all the…aliens.’ I said, actually coming up with a good excuse – reason for once.

            ‘Well then I’ll go and grab the mystery lunch and I’ll see you when I get back.’ He said, trotting back up to his coffee station.

            Well, at least this was a nicer form of therapy – food.

            Surprise food…actually now that I think about it maybe this was a really bad idea. What if he gets pizza or something that has a massive portion size. I’ve had to put up with American portions for the last few days and I was not dealing with it. I hadn’t puked, Chris had made sure of that since he’d stayed by my side for at least an hour after I ate, knowing that if I had the chance I’d puke it up. I didn’t want to throw up every night, just a few of them. I wasn’t a danger to myself.

            Lizzy never thought so either.

            She’s always offer to hold my hair back when it happened, said that it was just a phase and we’d get through it together. She admitted that she did it too sometimes.

            Where was she now? I wondered.

            I’d never followed her band or any of her socials after we broke up, even when I grew up and was curious. Of course I could use my work computer to get into her files but that would be an abuse of my power and position, ethically it would be wrong.

            …One tiny peak wouldn’t hurt anyone though.

            I logged onto the database and put in her name to see if anything would come up and unsurprisingly it did. Holy crap, Lizzy was famous. Her band had been renamed but she still looked the same, well without the blue streaks through her hair and…well her boobs had grown just a bit – not that I was looking – I mean I was looking respectfully. She really was a rockstar. She always said her and her band would make it, I guess I just never believed her enough to check.

            Wait no, that wasn’t true; even in school they were amazing and I knew they’d make it, I just hadn’t thought about Lizzy in years. There hadn’t been the time. My life was consumed with far more important things than a band or worrying about exes. I never really thought about any of them, not after Chris.

            Lizzy was pure temptation and chaos, looking back on our relationship. She had been a bad influence on me but she was exciting, fun and daring. She brought out bravery in me, where I wanted to prove that I could do anything she could, which did include jumping off a bridge into a lake and drinking until two in the morning. I wanted to be a more confident person around her, I wanted to be cool and edgy and go to clubs but that wasn’t me. I was just trying to impress her because of how amazing Lizzy was, I just wanted her to want me in the same way I yearned for her.

            We were completely different people who wanted different things and sometimes, it just doesn’t work.

 

***

 

‘Okay so we have the florist booked, the caterer booked, the band booked, the venue is keeping our slot until they can confirm the date, the groomsman’s suits are being bought and tailored when we get back to the states, the colour and theme are sorted, the makeup and hair artists have been booked – now all that’s left to finalise is the guest list and then the seating chart.’ Melinda proudly proclaimed, as I walked through the door, barely having time to close it behind me as the cold night’s air streamed in.

            ‘Mel she’s just walked through the front door.’ Chris groaned, taking my handbag from me, delicately taking my hand and leading me away from her. ‘Let her breathe.’

            ‘I’m just updating Erin on your wedding, that’s my job.’ She stated. ‘Although I do need the guest list finalised-’

            ‘Melinda.’ Chris stopped shortly. ‘Give her half an hour or hell even time to change.’

            ‘It’s okay.’ I said softly, running a hand through my hair. ‘Um, yeah I’ll have the finalised guest list as soon as humanly possible, I’m just waiting on hearing back from a few people.’

            ‘Hear back?’ Chris asked quietly.

            ‘Yeah I added some more people to the list,’ I smiled. ‘Just waiting to hear but uh yeah…I’m gonna-’

            ‘Is that Erin?’ Piper’s voice yelled from the kitchen. ‘Erin sweetie do you need food we have leftover’s from dinner?’

            ‘No I ate at work but thanks!’ I yelled back.

            ‘I also left you a dress upstairs!’ She yelled again. ‘For the party the night before the wedding!’

            I slowly looked to Chris.

            ‘The party the night before?’ I asked.

            ‘Yeah…let’s go upstairs, you can get changed and hit me with something in private.’ Chris said quickly, tugging me up the stairs.

            Why the hell was there a party the night before the wedding? Wasn’t it tradition that the night before the wedding I stay at a woman’s house or something? Or my dad’s? My plan was to stay in a hotel with Toshiko and Gwen – hopefully though, Owen wouldn’t be sharing the bed with us.

            It was only when the bedroom door closed behind us, that Chris said.

            ‘My mom arranged this whole thing, basically she wants a party with the whole family over here the night before the wedding, since everyone either catches flights the same night as the wedding or the day after.’

            ‘This is turning into a circus.’ I said. ‘You said you could go to the registry office tomorrow and that would be fine and yes, I was the one that wanted a wedding, just a wedding though not a big white wedding with centre pieces and a band I’ve never even heard of now there’s gonna be a party with a bunch of people I don’t know and…’

            I sucked in a breath, trying to tell myself to calm down.

            If I got overwhelmed this would become even worse so I just had to keep my head screwed on right. However, it was then that I saw the dress laid out on the bed and nearly had a heart attack.

            ‘What is that?’ I pointed to it.

            The colour was dark green with a tight neckline, it looked like something straight out of a 1940’s Hollywood movie but ya know, the repressed housewife kinda film. It had square jet style buttons and a cream undercollar, with diagonal buttonholes.

            ‘That’s the dress my mum bought for the said party…’ He trailed off. ‘I thought you’d like it, it’s green.’

            ‘Radioactive chemicals are green and I don’t like them Chris – what even is this? This is screaming suburban housewife.’

            ‘No it doesn’t,’ He waved me off. ‘You like your vintage dresses and when my mum heard that you did she-’

            ‘Yeah I like them when I pick them, it’s why I barely let you dress shop for me.’

            ‘You never let me shop for you because you don’t like what I pick.’

            ‘No I never let you shop because if you had your way I’d be in a mini skirt and a bralette with a pair of California beach wedges.’ I retorted. ‘I…appreciate what your mum is trying to do here but if this extended family are coming along with friends I don’t want them to think I’m some frigid housewife, cause I’m not.’

            ‘I know you’re not.’ Chris said, inching towards me, taking the dress from my hands. ‘We’ll get a different dress, it’s not a big deal.’

            ‘Why are we having this party in the first place? The wedding is big enough as it is and now I’ve got more people coming it’s going to be crazy and…’ I trailed off slowly because now, I actually saw how tired Chris looked himself.

            There were darker bags under his eyes which were red enough as it was, he had five o’clock shadow and was a little paler than usual. What the fuck happened?

            ‘Are you alright?’

            ‘Yeah, yeah I’m fine.’ He nodded but I knew better, given his eyes flitted to the side.

            I may have a tell but so did he.

            ‘Did something happen at the hospital?’

            He looked down to the ground again, his head bopping shortly for a second before he met my eyes.

            ‘The lift got stuck on the way to the cardio ward and there was only me and another woman in there, she was pregnant and she went into labour but she had a placental abruption which meant the baby couldn’t get any oxygen, which was only thirty weeks at best and then because of that she couldn’t stop bleeding and…she died, they both died and there was nothing I could do.’ Chris said, sounding like he was admitting to some crime. ‘When they finally managed to get the lift doors open there was so much blood on the floor that one of the nurses nearly slipped…’ He smiled sadly, rubbing at his face. ‘I couldn’t get her to the operating room quick enough, I tried everything.’

            ‘I know you did,’ I said, squeezing his hands. ‘You would of done everything you could of.’

            ‘Not everything apparently and now I get to plan a wedding, I get to come home and pick colours for ties.’ Chris said bitterly, pulling away from me.

            He braced against the balcony doors, his head dipping down to his chest as he sniffled in through his nose.

            ‘I get to walk out that hospital but she doesn’t – she wasn’t even in for an appointment she was in visiting her sister, she taught nursery and this was her first kid…’

            ‘Chris this wasn’t your fault.’ I knew I didn’t even have to put that thought into his head, since his expression told me he’d already gotten there.

            Whenever Chris lost a patient he always took it personally, he’d review the entire situation and figure out some miracle way he could of saved them.

            ‘She was twenty-five, same age as you.’ He said through gritted teeth.

            Even though I’d lied and was in fact a year younger, I didn’t think it was appropriate to admit it. The water in his eyes was as clear as glass, even as they dripped in shards down his face.

            ‘Chris, this isn’t your fault.’ I repeated, moving to his side.

            ‘I’m a doctor, my job was to help her and I couldn’t,’ He bit his lip, shaking his head. ‘I had no idea what to do, I didn’t have any medications or packing or anything to stop the bleeding.’

            ‘It…Chris it’s horrific and it’s not fair-’

            ‘See this is why I don’t believe in any kind of God or deity because how is that right?’ He asked. ‘She was twenty-five, had her whole life planned out with a new house and a husband and a family who loved her but then this…’ He slapped his hands on the glass. ‘This, she dies in a bloody lift.’

            I cautiously took his hands, rubbing my thumbs over the soft ridges of his skin, making sure to soften my eyes keep him with them.

            ‘You’re right, it’s not fair, none of it.’

            Chris had always said this and I was always inclined to agree with him. We never believed in God because our jobs had shown us fair didn’t exist, for once death didn’t discriminate; it didn’t blame or serve any kind of justice.

            Death plucked anyone and everyone from Earth, without malice or empathy or bias.

            ‘It’s not fair.’ He said, a gritty sob in the back of his throat. ‘She didn’t deserve this, I knew her for a couple hours and even I knew that, she didn’t deserve to die.’

            I pulled at the back of his neck, hugging him as tight as I could as his body shook against mine, rubbing my hands up and down his back.

            ‘No she didn’t,’ I said. ‘She didn’t but you can’t blame yourself.’

            ‘Then who’s to blame?’ He asked. ‘There has to be someone.’

            ‘Blame God.’ I said. ’Blame the universe, blame fate, blame terrible fucking luck…’ I told him. ‘You did everything you could Chris, you did everything in your power but the universe had other ideas.’

            He blew out a watery breath, pulling away and wiping at his eyes.

            ‘I need a drink.’ He said lowly, slugging over to the wardrobe and pulling out a jacket. ‘I’ll be back in a couple hours.’

            ‘No,’ I said, gently pushing a hand against his chest. ‘You’re not going to get blackout drunk in some random bar, no way.’

            ‘Erin, I need this okay, it’s not like I’m an alcoholic.’

            ‘And I’d like to keep you from becoming one, alcohol makes episodes like this worse.’

            ‘I’m not depressed.’ He scoffed.

            ‘Okay – maybe you’re not but the relief you want to find isn’t at the bottom of a pint.’ I said, trying to think of a way to keep him here.

            I knew if I told his mum about the whole thing she wouldn’t let him leave but I also knew, that Chris would resent me for it. He would also resent his family for keeping him here like some child.

            ‘Well I’m going.’ Chris shrugged, pushing past me.

            ‘Then I’m coming with you.’ I said simply, grabbing for my bag that he’d tossed on the bed. ‘We go together.’

            ‘No.’

            ‘Why not?’

            ‘Because this is a me thing, a doctor thing.’

            ‘Well-’

            ‘No Erin, you’re not coming.’

            ‘And I’m not letting you get black out drunk and probably whack your head off the floor.’ I stated. ‘Because since we’re all apparently shit out of luck, I’m not taking any chances of you dying, alright? I don’t want a random head bleed from whacking your head off a lamppost because you couldn’t see straight.’

            ‘Erin, I’m going alone.’

            ‘Chris, I’m going with you, I’ll even sit at the other side of the bar if you want but if you think I’m leaving you to deal with this alone you’re wrong.’ I said, opening the bedroom door. ‘So let’s go, bar, drinks, cocktails.’

            He grumbled something under his breath but he sauntered down the stairs and walked out the front door without so much as a word to his family, all of whom were sitting in the living room watching something on the TV. They did look a little concerned but with a smile I said.

            ‘Emergency date night.’ Then with a click, closed the door behind me.

 

***

 

The pub Chris had chosen was actually a night club which I fucking despised but he was going through some shit, so I put up with the shitty techno music. I even sat at a different table from him because he wanted to be alone with his feelings, yes I did think that in a mocking voice but if I was honest with myself, I was the same. Whenever I got too much in my own head I enjoyed quiet time (although Chris’ definition of quiet made me want to rip my eardrums out).

            I sipped my mocktail San Fransisco, trying my best not to watch him like a hawk since he’d pulled me up on it ten minutes ago. I tried to busy myself with my phone and catch up with what my friends from uni were doing, seeing that they’d been posting about going out to fancy dinners and such. If only a fancy dinner and a shitty glass of wine would fix this.

            The ratchet scream of female singer screeched through the club and honestly, I shat myself. Since when did clubs have live music? Geez I really didn’t get out much. The lights shone down on the small stage that the DJ’s deck had been removed from and now had five people standing there, one behind the drums and three with guitars.

            ‘How are we doing Cardiff!’ The singer screamed and the crowd went wild but not me, since standing on that stage was Lizzy.

            Fuck me.

            She wore a little black dress, insane block high heels and a leather jacket, her lips painted blood red.

            ‘My name is Lizzy Hale and we are Halestorm, now this isn’t our first gig in Wales so we’re going to kick off tonight with favourite of yours, this song is called Get Off and a well-known fact is that I wrote this song about one of my exes, bonus points if you know which one.’ She grinned before the rhythmic and constant beat of the drums started.

            The crowd in the club went wild, screaming and jumping as the song began, people rushed past me from the bar and the toilets, all swarming to get to the front of the stage. I pushed my feet on the ridges of the stool trying to look over the crowd for Chris but the hordes of people blocked his table from my view.

            I kept trying to tell myself that he was a grown man and didn’t need babysitting, that he’d survive the length of song without getting himself into too much trouble but I couldn’t help myself. Lizzy out of everyone on the entire planet was on that stage and my fiancé was only a couple tables away from her. I never had to worry about my exes because they’d all moved to London or up north – Lizzy had to of forgotten me by now anyway.

            I grabbed for my black trench coat and slipped it on, since I didn’t want to stay here a lot longer. Chris was on his second and not that he was swaying but he didn’t need to drown his sorrows anymore than he already had and I didn’t need a blast from the past.

            ‘But I know how to twist ya, to bring your knees.’ Lizzy sang and my own heart sunk.

            Okay, first of all that was private and second of all, private! Even though Lizzy’s first time was with me that didn’t mean I wasn’t getting anything out of it. She’d grabbed me by my crotch and kissed me, the smooth lather of her lip gloss smearing across my lips. Then by the end of the night I was washing it off my vagina. That’s what Lizzy had always said after that night, she knew how to twist me, she could have me on my knees like that and I hadn’t disagreed.

            Fuck me, of all the songs she could of picked to write, I was one of them? I mean I’m honoured cause if I was honest with myself, the song was actually kinda good but still! Half the stuff she was singing was stuff that was between us, she hadn’t even asked if she could write a song. I know she didn’t need to but at the same time it was just common curtesy.

            The crowds started to shift a little and I saw Chris’ head emerge through the crowd, he wasn’t watching the stage, more like the bottom of his pint. I couldn’t tell if he was crying, he was barely moving, if anything he looked numb. I didn’t know when the right time was to go over, he didn’t even want me next to him in the taxi, even as we walked down the street he let me walk ahead, if anyone had seen us we’d of looked like strangers. Or maybe, we looked like a couple who’d just had a fight. I wanted to go home, I wanted to grab his hand and take him with me but by the looks of it he didn’t want to move so I bit my tongue and bided my time as the guitars ripped and a new song began, then another and then another.

            Even as Chris’ pint glass emptied he didn’t look any different, he wasn’t standing sure but he wasn’t swaying or even looking mildly woozy from the alcohol. He looked fucking depressed if anything and the scary thing was I couldn’t do anything to stop it, this was the part of his life that I couldn’t understand. I wasn’t a doctor, I couldn’t understand having all this knowledge of procedures and the human body but being stuck in the worst situation, unable to do a thing. Even though my job was filled with death and aliens, I’d never been in that position. That woman was only one year older than me for crying out loud, she was a nursery teacher I’m sure. Jesus now I needed a drink.

            I headed up to the bar firmly deciding this was our last drinks before we left, since if Chris kept going the way he was going he was gonna blackout at any moment. He could tolerate alcohol, he wasn’t a lightweight or anything but I’d watched helplessly as one glass was replaced by another. I paid the barman for the drinks and went to grab them when a warm slender hand cupped my shoulder.

            ‘Now of all the places I thought you’d end up sweetheart, Cardiff wasn’t one of them.’ Lizzy said charmingly, shouting a little over her drummer who was doing a solo on the stage. ‘I presumed miss ivy league was above all these sort of clubs.’

            ‘Hello to you too Lizzy.’ I said politely. ‘Thanks for the song, really I feel fantastic.’

            Sure my tone was a little sarcastic and sure, the song was a bop but if it was all the same to her, she’d put private things in a song and peddled it to the masses.

            ‘Oh come on, I thought you’d of liked it.’ She said grinning, leaning against the bar, the club lights carving out her cheekbones.

            Don’t stare at her tits, I told myself, don’t even think about it.

            ‘I’ll leave you to your show, I’ve gotta get these drinks back-’ In one swift motion she’d grabbed my arm and started  pulling me through the crowds towards the back rooms. ‘Lizzy!’ I exclaimed but the thudding of the drum drowned out my voice.

            She pushed through a black door and down a corridor, my feet frantically shuffling behind her as she tugged me into what I presumed was her dressing room, marked with guitars, clothes and vanity mirrors.

            ‘Lizzy what the fuck?’

            She grabbed my jaw roughly, pulling me in for a kiss, her lips warm and wet as she went deeper, her tongue battling to get inside. I couldn’t help it, before I knew it I had smacked her across the face, the sound echoing through the room.

            She grinned, her hands grabbing my arms and pinning them on the wall behind me, her face only inches from mine.

            ‘I remember you liked it rough.’

            ‘I’m engaged.’ I shot out, using my only defence in this situation since I’d saw her boobs and well…fuck.

            Lizzy nodded, almost as if she were musing over the thought. Gently, she let go of my arms and I sighed in relief but then she took my hand, gazing over the ring. Then she snatched the ring, yanked it off of my finger and threw it across the room. I heard the clang but I didn’t see where it went as Lizzy pinned me to the wall again and my breath caught in my throat.

            ‘You always told me marriage wasn’t your thing.’ She said.

            ‘I’ve changed but evidently, you haven’t.’ I said, willing myself to look at her eyes and nowhere else. ‘Lizzy, you’ve got a show and I’ve got a fiancé to get back to.’

            She kissed me again without warning, the warmth in her lips radiating through me as well as a yearning I hadn’t felt in a while. I didn’t even notice that one of her hands had let go of my arm and unzipped my jeans, her slender and long fingers reaching into my pants.

            ‘I won’t tell if you won’t.’ She teased, her nail flicking at my pantie material. ‘You’re so fucking hot.’

            I willed myself not to say anything so I pressed my lips together since I had to admit, I wasn’t even thinking about Chris. Fuck me. Fuck!

            ‘No!’ I said firmly, shoving her chest.

            She laughed, holding her hands up in surrender as she stumbled back.

            ‘Still so fucking frigid.’

            ‘Still such a bitch.’ I retorted, frantically darting about to find my ring. ‘Lizzy what the fuck?’

            ‘Hey, you kissed me back.’ She said.

            Fuck – I had, I’d kissed her.

            Oh I was a hypocrite, I’d been giving Gwen such a hard time and now I’d done – Erin shut the fuck up, why were you thinking about Gwen? I thought to myself, find the fucking ring!

            ‘So what else have you been up to?’ Lizzy asked casually. ‘Did you go to uni for film or whatever it was?’

            ‘Yes.’ I replied shortly, scrounging around underneath the dressed table, trying not to jump with joy when my fingers landed on the familiar metal.

            ‘Erin calm down, it was a kiss and even then it would have been just sex, great sex I reckon.’ Lizzy said, her hand on my back as I stood back up. ‘You know-’

            ‘I am not gonna be the ex you write a song about and then shag whenever you see her.’ I stated. ‘I’m – fuck why did you have to do that?’

            ‘I wanted to see you and remember, you kissed me back.’

            ‘I know!’ I yelled, putting the ring back on my finger.

            Could I retcon myself to forget this? I could do that right?

            I felt disgusting putting the ring back on, I felt like I had to wash myself clean – fuck what had I done? It wasn’t that I hadn’t been thinking about Chris or that I’d forgotten I was in a committed relationship it was just that Lizzy was there and when she kissed me, it was like something had been awoken from inside me. That yearning for danger and the thrill of the forbidden – Jesus she was a woman not the fruit from the bible. I’d dated Lizzy in high school and sure it was a great time but the entire reason I’d broken up with her was because of her band and I wanted a committed relationship – which I’d now fucked up.

            What would Samantha do from Sex and the City? She wouldn’t see this as a big thing, it was just a kiss, that was it.

            ‘Just keep this to yourself, yeah?’ I asked, not even bothering to look back at her as I grabbed for the door.

            ‘I’m in town for a month or so, we could grab something to drink tomorrow-’

            ‘Yeah that’s not happening Elizabeth.’ I stated. ‘I am not gonna have sex with you.’

            ‘Who said I wanted to have sex?’ She asked, her hands on her hips.

            ‘Well whatever this whole thing was I’m not interested in picking up where we left off, now if you’ll excuse me.’

            ‘I want to reconnect, that’s it.’

            ‘You and I have very different definitions of reconnect.’

            ‘What the fuck is up with you?’ Lizzy asked. ‘You’re like an uptight Stepford wife, it’s just some fun Erin, that’s it.’

            ‘I just cheated on my soon to be husband so I’m a little on edge.’ I said, already feeling the sinking feeling of my stomach, which at any moment was ready to fall out of my ass.

            ‘You can never make up your mind…’ Lizzy smirked. ‘I mean you’re Bi I guess it comes with the territory.’

            I sighed.

            ‘Lizzy what we had back then was amazing alright, is that what you want me to say?’ I asked. ‘We had an amazing time and it taught me a lot about myself, we had great date nights and we snuck off in the middle of the night to watch the stars and we were great…we were great.’

            ‘Who’s the lucky guy then?’ She asked.

            ‘Chris, he’s a doctor and he’s currently out there so I need to get back to him.’ I said firmly.

            Why was it that I’d been in a committed relationship for years but as soon as she turned up it’s like none of that mattered. When she kissed me I hadn’t thought of Chris, I wanted her touch, it was warm and rough and powerful – it was nothing like when he made love to me.

            Lizzy held out her hand.

            ‘Give me your phone.’

            ‘No.’

            ‘I’m putting my number in it.’

            ‘Who says I want your number?’

            Lizzy shook her head.

            ‘Okay yes, we dated and it was great but maybe I just want to catch up, have you ever thought about that?’

            This was a bad decision, it had to be. What if I fucked up again, what if Chris found out? What if I’d be an utter idiot and sleep with her? I loved Lizzy in high school, I did but there was a time and a place to reconnect and this wasn’t it.

            ‘I’ll think about it.’ I said, not really meaning it and brashly opened the door, storming out it.

            I tried to be mad at myself, I tried to let the anger be the only thing driving me but I couldn’t, tears of guilt welled in my eyes. I’d wanted Lizzy; when she had her hand on my pants and her lips on mine I didn’t want to stop. Fuck, had I just cheated on Chris? Did kissing count as cheating? If I met up with her again did that count? What the fuck where the rules?

Perhaps don’t kiss someone else when you’re engaged to someone you love, maybe those are the rules Erin! I thought.

I pushed through the crowds as I made my way back out to the club floor and was relived to see Chris still in his seat, mindlessly watching the band.

‘Right come on, we’re going.’ I said over the music, grabbing for his arm.

‘I’m good here.’

‘You’ll be even better at home.’ I told him.

He gave me a look, as if not to test him but I wasn’t going to stay here a minute longer, especially since Lizzy had climbed back on the stage.

‘Chris I’ll call Wyatt to come and get you.’ I threatened.

He squinted.

‘Seriously? Okay that’s ridiculous.’

            ‘It’s really not, you’ve drank like a fish out of water and if you keep going you’re going to hurt yourself.’

            It was true, it wasn’t like I was gaslighting him into thinking he’d drunk more but it was the combination of this and of Lizzy that made my skin crawl, I needed out of here.

            ‘I’ll have a few more and then I’ll go.’

            ‘Chris we need to-’

            ‘Erin just leave me alone, call Wyatt whatever but I want to be alone.’ He said harshly. ‘You don’t understand alright, just go home.’

            On a normal night I would have been shouting in his face about how he shouldn’t ever speak to me like that but tonight, I really couldn’t take anything else on top of it all. He was clearly drunk and probably wouldn’t remember this in the morning but I think that would be best for the both of us.

            ‘I’ll sit at another table alright I just don’t want to leave you-’ I said

            ‘I’m not a fucking child, just go!’ He shouted.

            I pulled back a little at that, he’d never shouted at me like that before.

            ‘Fine.’ I said a little shakily, quickly walking back to grab my jacket and bag that thankfully hadn’t been nicked, then headed for the door.

            I made sure to keep my head down as I left the club, grateful of the cold air that hit me like a brick wall. Even though I hadn’t been drinking, I felt like I was going to throw up so I called the one person who I knew wouldn’t judge me.

            ‘Tosh can I stay at yours tonight?’

 

***

 

‘Listen Erin, it’s not my place to say but if it really was just a kiss then there can’t be that much harm in it and Chris is never going to find out – you love him and this was just a mistake.’ Tosh said, reasoning with me over our wine glasses which were filled with San Francisco mocktails.

            ‘I feel like him yelling at me was cosmic karma.’ I muttered, sipping at my drink. ‘Cause believe me I deserve it.’

            ‘There’s no point wallowing in it because you didn’t take her number.’ Tosh squeezed my hand. ‘You did the right thing.’

            ‘I feel like anything I criticise about Gwen now is pointless, I’m a hypocrite.’

            Tosh pressed her lips together.

            ‘It’s not the same thing, now do you want to call Dominic and I’ll get the bed made up for us?’

            ‘Yeah, good idea.’ I smiled, reaching for my phone.

            Tosh busied herself as she left the couch, grabbing for different things from her hall cupboard as I dialled Dom’s number. He was Chris’ best friend in that hospital and the one person I knew who could understand him.

            ‘Erin, hey.’ His tired voice grumbled through the phone. ‘Everything alright?’

            ‘Yeah everything’s fine, listen stuff happened with Chris’ work today and I’m sure you already know about it, right?’

            ‘Yeah I had a feeling it was going to be one of these nights.’

‘He’s in the Black Bird Club in town and he’s drinking alcohol like water.’ I said, hating I was already grassing him in. ‘I’m just worried he’s gonna hurt himself getting home.’

            ‘Right, I’ll be there as soon as I can, should I meet you outside?’

            ‘Yeah um…I had to stay at a friend’s house tonight she’s been in a bit of a jam recently, she’s just kicked her boyfriend out, can you just meet up with him to make sure he’s alright, he just kept telling me he wants to be alone.’

            ‘Oh yeah course,’ Dominic said. ‘Are you alright?’

            ‘I’m good, just keep an eye on him for me?’

            ‘I will, goodnight Erin.’

            ‘Night.’ I replied hanging up.

            Well at least his older brother was on the case now.

 

***

 

‘Shit, shit, shit.’ I muttered running down the harbour towards the hub.

            ‘Erin, what’s wrong?’ Tosh called, running after me in her heeled boots that smacked against the wood.

            ‘UNIT called me with a code red and I missed it!’ I yelled back, flinging the door open skittishly waiting for Tosh to grab it for herself, then lunged over the desk to press the hidden button.

            ‘Morning!’ Ianto chimed happily.

            ‘Morning!’ I yelled back but it was a little aggressive as I took off running towards the lift.

            I heard a faint “Is she alright?” from Ianto but as I flung myself in the lift, anxiously jumping from foot to foot I didn’t bother to get into it.

            I’d been too busy day dreaming about Lizzy that I hadn’t heard my phone when the warning alarm started ringing in Tosh’s car, who thought it was just my alarm I’d set to get up so turned it off.

            As soon as I got into the Hub I ran over to my desk, nearly skiting across the walkway as my butt hit the wheely chair. After logging in and grabbing for my headset I put through my call to UNIT, wondering what the fuck was going on, since they didn’t inform us of anything, unless it was blatantly obvious, like that spaceship crashing into Big Ben.

            ‘This is officer Erin Swann of the Torchwood Institute, I’ve got a code red, repeat code red what is the situation?’

            ‘Ah, there’s my girl.’ The calm voice of my dad sounded.

            ‘Dad what’s going on?’ I asked, setting up my computer to table verbal notes from my headset. ‘Has something crash landed?’

            ‘No, no I just wanted to have a catch up.’

            ‘…Dad did you bring your mobile to work or your UNIT handset?’ I asked through gritted teeth, bracing my head on my hands.

            ‘My mobile.’

            ‘Check for me.’

            ‘No, I brought my mobile.’

            ‘Just humour me.’ I said a little louder, holding in all my urges to scream at him down the phone, since I had a feeling I’d just ran like a bat out of hell for nothing.

            ‘Fine.’ He grumbled. ‘…See I brought my – oh wait, oh no actually that’s my handset – why does it have your number on it?’

            ‘Because in a state of a code red you call me because the world might be ending and UNIT might need some backup.’ I said, gripping at my headset. ‘Which just to be clear, you don’t need?’

            ‘No actually, I was just wondering how the wedding planning was going – oh! And I spoke with Sarah Jane and I think she’s going to be bringing that new son of hers and a friend so he doesn’t get bored.’

            ‘Dad I’m going to call you back tonight.’

            ‘That’s fair enough, bye now love.’

            ‘Bye dad, love you.’ I shook my head, throwing off my headset.

            Fuck sake, I thought, I just ran all the way here and now as it turned out the world wasn’t ending but hey, at least it will burn off that breakfast Tosh made – I wondered if it was too late to puke it up? Couldn’t be we only had breakfast just before we left and it’s not that long of a drive, would anyone notice?

            Owen sat at his desk, musing over something in his hand whilst Gwen sat at hers, Tosh in the middle. Shit they’d notice me going to the toilet, maybe give it five minutes? Tosh always peed when she came in first thing so she’d hear me retching my guts up.

            Ianto might be keeping an eye on me as well, where was he? It wasn’t like I deserved the food in me right now given what I did last night. That’s what this was, this was a punishment that I was more than happy to take. Maybe it would take the guilt away?

            It was only then that I felt Tosh’s burning stare in my head and I looked up, she seemed a little startled that I’d caught her but she didn’t say anything.

            ‘You alright hun?’ I asked.

            ‘Yeah, I was just telling the guys about this article I found, I’ll bring it in tomorrow.’ She nodded smally, heading to her desk.

            Oh was it going to be about the Incas? That was actually quite interesting last time, I thought maybe she’ll do something on Greek mythology next – oh I needed to get that Percy Jackson book.

            I quickly opened my emails and started going about the usual morning routine, which I needed to rectify since I hadn’t got Ianto’s coffee beans on the way in.

            ‘I’m away to the shop does anyone want anything?’ I asked, grabbing for my bag that I’d just tossed to the floor.

            ‘No thanks!’ The team chimed and I nodded heading back out the large cog door.

            Well apart from this morning, this seemed to be turning out a nice normal day. I hoped it stayed that way.

 

***

 

Five missed calls in the space of an hour.

Eight missed calls in  two hours.

Twelve missed calls in three hours.

Eighteen missed calls in five hours.

Twenty-three missed calls in eight hours.

Twenty-six missed calls in nine hours.

            It was only when Ianto was driving me home that I realised just how many times Chris had called me throughout the day and just how much I’d shoved him to the back of my mind. I’d thrown up twice today and just thinking about it made me want to go for a third when I got home. Chris’ family would be there which meant it would be difficult but I could just say I was going for a shower and lock the door, the sound of the water would cover me.

            I’d been texting Chris throughout the day, to let me know if he needed anything or if he needed me to come to the hospital for a chat but from his voicemails he just wanted to talk about last night, the very thing I was trying to forget. I knew his outburst wasn’t his fault, he was grieving and depressed and honestly, I think space would be better. I’d even gotten David’s number written down for him in case he wanted to talk to someone. I didn’t want to leave him on his own but he made it clear last night he wanted to deal with alone.

            ‘Tosh said you were staying at hers last night, everything alright?’ Ianto asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

            ‘Yeah just Chris, he had a tough day yesterday…he got stuck in a lift with a pregnant woman who went into labour and they uh, well they both died and he’s taken it really hard, if anything it’s good his family’s visiting, they’ll know what to do.’

            ‘Are you alright?’ He asked as we pulled up to my house.

            ‘Course.’ I smiled brightly, grabbing for my bag and hopping out his car. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow Ianto.’

            With a short goodbye I headed inside, locking the door behind me however as I did, I realised something completely alien; the house was almost silent. Only the blur and grumble of the tv sounded from the living room, the lights were on but as I headed through to the kitchen to dump my keys, I peeked in through the closed door to see Chris and his family huddled around the kitchen island.

            ‘She’ll understand Chris, if anyone will it’s her.’ The soft voice of Melinda said.

            ‘Who we talking about?’ I asked casually, walking into the kitchen since I knew listening to this one sided conversation would do more harm than good.

            The whole family looked up with smiles on their faces but not Chris, he wore a solemn expression.

            ‘Did something happen?’ I asked, fuck had someone else died at the hospital?

            ‘We’ll leave you to it.’ Chris’ Aunt Phoebe said, leading the family from the kitchen.

            Okay, what the fuck was going on? Shit what was I meant to understand? Was he going to call off the wedding? Post-pone it or scrap it all together? Did he find out about last night? Was he going to leave?

            ‘I’m sorry about last night.’ He started, bracing his hands on the kitchen island. ‘I was upset and I shouldn’t of shouted at you like that.’

            ‘Oh it’s fine,’ I said, my heart still thumping in my ears. ‘I knew it was because of what happened, I didn’t take it personally and you needed time alone.’

            ‘Yeah…’ He trailed off wiping at his eyes. ‘I um – last night I kinda trashed our bedroom.’

            ‘What?’

            ‘It’s fixed now I just got angry with myself and well the room got trashed…we’re going to have to get new curtains but I found something, we found something when we were clearing it up.’

            Fuck.

            ‘What?’ I asked, leaning on the counter.

            Chris lifted a bag onto the desk, it was a black duffle bag and it belonged to me. As he zipped it open I held my breath; there were three sets of clothes, two wigs, coloured contacts and passports, all with different names on them. It was only when he pulled out the three guns and various sets of ammunition clips that I nearly fell over. Fuck he’d found the go bag. It wasn’t anything important, it was a bag for emergencies in case I needed to run.

            I thought that was the worst of it too but then he reached into his pocket and pulled out the empty tin foiled packet of the Retcon tablets I kept in my bedside table.

            Shit.

            Then he pulled out another gun and from the markings I knew it was the one that I kept hidden under the bed.

            ‘Are you hiding from someone?’ He asked finally.

            ‘No there’s…that’s just a go bag in case something happens.’

            ‘None of these passports have your name on them, not even your birth name Erin.’ He said, meaning Sturgeon. ‘I know I said I’d support you and I do but what the hell kind of a job is it you do?’        

            ‘Did Wyatt put you up to this?’ I said without thinking.

            ‘No.’ Chris shook his head. ‘I want to know why you have this many guns in this house, I want to know why the Retcon pills are gone.’

            ‘…I used them at work, we ran out-’

            ‘Cut the bullshit.’ Chris snapped. ‘Did you use these on my family?’

            ‘No.’ I lied. ‘Chris why would I?’

            ‘Because of this.’ He said, slipping out a brown folder from the drawer and pushing it over the island. ‘Wyatt came clean, said he hadn’t closed the investigation – see we all thought it was a bit weird waking up at the dining table but that’s when Wyatt saw the date stamps on this case file and knew something wasn’t adding up.’

            I took the casefile cautiously, opening it to see everything from Wyatt’s computer that I’d deleted – he had paper copies, fuck why didn’t I think to search his stuff? Fuck!

            ‘So what do you think?’ I asked, trying to mask my emotions as I closed the file. ‘You said you knew who I was at the hospital, that all of this stuff doesn’t matter.’

            ‘That’s not what I’m getting at.’

            ‘Then what are you?’ I asked in return, clawing for an answer.

            Had I really screwed us up?

            ‘Are you in danger?’

            ‘No.’

            ‘The pictures of Sarah Jane’s house, with that new son of hers she adopted…’ He trailed off. ‘I know when you’re scared and that photo-’

            ‘I had to rally all the hospitals and prepare them for the worst of course I was scared there was mass hysteria and now what? Wyatt hasn’t shut this down and you’re cool with it?’

            ‘No of course not.’

            ‘I could go to jail for this.’

            ‘I know.’

            ‘What’s Wyatt going to do now, since he thinks I’m so dangerous?’ I asked. ‘Did he tell you to call off the wedding?’

            ‘Yes.’

            ‘And did you agree?’ I asked without a moments hesitation.

            ‘…No.’

            I sighed, a weight falling from my shoulders.

            ‘You know I thought Wyatt would trust me in time but he really doesn’t.’

            ‘Can you blame him?’ Chris asked gesturing to the spread across the kitchen island. ‘He doesn’t know you like I do.’

            ‘What does your family think of it?’ I asked. ‘Since they were all in here and seen…this.’

            ‘They think you’re a spy for the British government, they know the cut on your head and the burns on your skin aren’t from a rock climbing accident – from their own deductions not mine.’ He said. ‘They care about you but they’re worried.’

            ‘Well they shouldn’t be, if anything it’s been increasingly quiet at work.’ I said.

            ‘Did you drug my family?’ He asked again. ‘Did you find this and then drug us to forget what happened?’

            ‘Are you hearing yourself right now?’ I asked. ‘Of course I didn’t drug you.’

            Well I felt like the worst human being on Earth, there was probably a very special place in hell being reserved for me right now.

            ‘Then why did we all wake up at the dining table the other night just before you came home from the countryside?’

            ‘I don’t know, I came home from work and Melinda met me at the door – I don’t know what happened.’

            ‘I just want you to admit you did it.’

            ‘I didn’t do anything!’

            ‘Wyatt showed me his computer, the entire folder he was sure he had on you there was gone!’

            ‘I don’t do his admin Chris!’ I shouted back. ‘I didn’t do anything to you or your family!’

            ‘Well it didn’t just disappear!’

            ‘Chris I didn’t know he had the investigation still open, do you think I’d of been this calm around him the whole time if I knew he had?’

            ‘Just admit you did it!’

            ‘I didn’t do it!’ I yelled back.

            I grabbed for my house keys that I’d set down on the table, already heading for the door.

            ‘Where are you going?’

            ‘Work.’ I answered.

            ‘Erin-’

            ‘The CIA has kept an open and ongoing investigation into an officer of Her Majesties Secret Service, after being told to shut it down.’ I said. ‘I’m going to do some damage control and keep us both out of fucking prison.’

            It was only when I reached the front door that I saw Wyatt, standing in front of it.

            ‘Wyatt you need to move.’ I said, motioning for him to do so.

            ‘No, you don’t get to run to your superiors, not after this.’ He said.

            There was something different about his voice, the way he spoke wasn’t with anger like before but with authority. One that I would strip away if he didn’t move.

            ‘You could go to jail.’

            ‘Not if I have a worthy investigation, which I do.’ He said quietly.

            ‘I am trying to save your ass here.’

            ‘I doubt it.’ He replied, his eyes flickering behind me for a moment. ‘Sorry Chris.’

            ‘Wyatt you swore.’ Chris said, his footsteps running through from the kitchen.

            ‘Erin Sturgeon you’re being held under arrest by the Central Intelligence Agency of the United States of America, under the 283 Act of two-thousand and one.’

            ‘What?’ I asked, my own eyes bulging as I saw the cuffs in his hand. ‘On what charge?’

            ‘Espionage, drugging and assaulting and officer and preventing the course of justice, you’re also being arrested for suspicious activity and manipulation of British media.’

            ‘I’ve done nothing to the United States, you don’t have any sort of grounds to do this.’ I stated.

            ‘Wyatt, you swore you wouldn’t do this, we don’t know the entire story.’ Chris said, he reached for my hand but I didn’t take it, my eyes burning a hole in Wyatt’s head.

            ‘You want to arrest me, then do it.’ I said, dropping my keys and bag on the floor, holding out both my hands.

            Wyatt nodded taking my hands and pulling them behind my back, the cuffs clinking and scratching against my skin.

            ‘This is fucking insane, you can’t arrest her!’ Chris yelled, his hands already trying to pull Wyatt off of me. ‘Wyatt you – mom!’

            ‘Oh I sent everyone out for dinner, you’ve not got your backup this time I’m afraid.’ Wyatt sneered, opening the door and shoving me out of it.

            I nearly fell over from his brute force but as he walked me down my own drive towards his car, I held my head high.

            ‘Erin I didn’t know he was going to do this, he said we could talk it out!’ Chris shouted after me, running after us.

            I didn’t say anything in return, since I knew this was going to end badly for Wyatt instead of me. My name, my real name always sends alarm bells ringing at Torchwood, especially at Jack’s desk. My presumption was he’d take me to a police station, where I’d be put in holding until he could transfer me to the states, not that it would happen.

            ‘Wyatt let her go for fuck’s sake!’ Chris yelled, grabbing for Wyatt.

            In one smooth move, Wyatt walloped Chris across the face, sending him straight down.

            ‘Chris!’ I yelled seeing blood spurt from his nose but Wyatt grabbed the back of my head slamming me into the back of the car.

            I cried out, the thudding reverberating to my head so insanely that I didn’t even feel myself getting put in the car. I felt my head hit the lush leather seats and heard the mumbled shouting of Chris, following by another scuffle but then I heard the engine roar and felt the vibrations of the car moving.

            ‘You think you’re so special, you think you’re above it all but you’re not.’ Wyatt said, his voice sounding from the drivers seat. ‘You think I’m stupid, that I didn’t make copies.’

            ‘You work in a cubical, you asshole.’ I spat, pushing myself up to sit. ‘You think you’re gonna get a promotion out of this, don’t you?’

            ‘I will get one, once they see that the British have been withholding vital information on the drug market and it’s use, who knows how many you’ve made to forget.’

            ‘I already told Chris and I’ll tell you the exact same thing, I didn’t drug you.’ I said, not even bothering to make my escape out the car. ‘Where are you taking me?’

            ‘You’re being put in a holding cell until I can get everything in order.’    

            ‘And you don’t think my bosses won’t have something to say about that?’ I asked. ‘That my colleague’s wont notice when I don’t turn up to work tomorrow?’

            ‘You let me worry about that.’

            ‘You assaulted me too ya know, you bashed my head against a car.’

            ‘You were resisting arrest.’

            ‘You punched my husband.’

            ‘Chris will never marry you, he may agree to marrying into a government secrets family but he didn’t think twice about asking us to do so too.’ Wyatt said.

            Fuck me, this had taken a turn.

 

***

 

‘Name?’

            ‘Lady Erin Sturgeon.’ Wyatt answered for me.

            Lady? Since – oh yeah Queen Victoria – werewolf, yeah it was coming back to me now.

            ‘Just Erin Sturgeon.’ I grumbled.

            The police station was cold but bright, the stained white bricks made the place feel like an insane asylum rather than a prison. Wyatt had brought me to the local police station and even though I wasn’t the biggest fan of the idea, I knew that my name in the system would raise a few alarm bells, especially if Wyatt was under as the arresting officer.

            ‘Can he even arrest me, he’s American?’ I asked.

            ‘Sorry, this is a bit above me.’ The man behind the desk said, pulling out a large leather book, scribbling away at it. ‘Any medical issues, disabilities?’

            ‘Yes, cerebral palsy, I would of brought my wheelchair but I was too busy getting my head slammed against a car.’ I answered.

            ‘Let me get this right, you assaulted and arrested her?’ The man asked Wyatt.

            ‘She was resisting arrest.’ Wyatt answered simply. ‘I’ve cleared this up with your supervisor over the phone, she’s under my custody.’

            The man huffed, flicking over the page.

            ‘Is there anyone you’d like to call?’ He asked me.

            ‘Yes.’ I answered.

            ‘She doesn’t get one.’ Wyatt said quickly. ‘She dangerous.’

            ‘You’re telling me a woman that’s meant to be in a wheelchair, can kick your lights out?’ The man asked. ‘She’s been leaning against the counter for what little support she can get ever since she arrived mate, anymore of this and I’ll have you arrested for abusing your power and a prisoner.’

            ‘What’s your name?’ I asked the man, since he seemed to be the only one of my side here.

            ‘Andy.’ He answered.

            Wait, wasn’t that Gwen’s old friend from her work? I heard her on the phone sometimes, he was her police contact she always went to when we had spooky shit. She called him after the whole cannibals in the countryside incident.

            ‘You’re Gwen’s friend, aren’t you?’ I asked.

            ‘You know Gwen?’

            ‘Yeah I work with her so I’ll tell you what, my name in your system will probably start ringing alarm bells anyway but give her a call for me would you?’ I asked. ‘Tell her that Erin’s psycho soon to be brother in-law arrested her because he’s got a small penis and is trying to compensate for his lack of seniority.’

            ‘…Word for word?’

            ‘Word for word.’

            ‘Right you are, Elaine could you escort this one to the cells, I’ll make a phone call.’ Andy nodded.

            A female officer came from the office at the side, she looked a bit peeved off as she took my arms, leading me to a cold cell. The lock opened with a clunk but just as she went to take the cuffs off, Wyatt said.

            ‘Leave them on, I don’t need her escaping.’

            ‘This isn’t The Shawshank Redemption.’ I scoffed. ‘Also I want it on record that I’m not responsible for the hell you’re about to reign down on yourself.’

            ‘Noted.’ Wyatt said as the police officer left and the cell door slammed shut.

            Fuck me, Chris was really gonna hate me after all of this wasn’t he? What was his mum going to think? Was Chris okay? I just saw a spurt of blood before my head was slammed against the car – Wyatt hadn’t broken his nose right?

            Weirdly enough, this wasn’t the first time I’d gotten arrested.