The city had built a proper tram system well before I was born, but the original east side trolley from a hundred years prior still ran, protected for its historical significance. It was just as rickety on that Saturday as on any other day. Unlike with the tram, I couldn’t ride the trolley without holding onto the railing.
“I’ve been waiting for this for months!” Gabriel declared, leaning back against the torn leather seat. To Claire, sitting in the crook of his arm, he said, “Lucas and I love the trolley park.”
Gabriel was my best friend and had been since middle school. Him becoming one of the star football players hadn’t driven a wedge between us like I feared it would. I watched as he leaned in to kiss Claire on the cheek, finding myself smiling just a little.
Holding on loosely to me was Eleanor, who was telling me, “My parents are taking me to see my aunt’s side of the family in Manilla over the summer. I’m praying that we get to see some of those world-famous beaches. I promise that I begged so hard for them to let you come with us, but they’re so stubborn!”
“It’s alright,” I replied, nuzzling her hair a little. “I’ll be fine here, maybe pick up a summer job. You have fun with your family.”
The trolley lurched when it hit the familiar gap in the tracks that meant we were almost there. I leaned out the side to spot the swiftly approaching front gate. Garrison Park, named after the capitalist largely responsible for the original downtown district, had been built in the late nineteenth century and just… never went away. There had been attempts to renovate it but the park was fiercely resistant to change. It was more of a picnic area than a park, though it had a few attractions.
Every year, Garrison Park threw together its own little autumn Renaissance Faire. I had gone pretty much every year, and so had Gabriel after we met. It was a cornerstone of our friendship. With only a few years of high school left, there were only a few more opportunities to enjoy this before moving on to college.
Gabriel stood up and playfully punched me a few times in the shoulder, asking, “Are you excited?”
“Dude! Of course I am!” I replied, bouncing on my heels. “It wouldn’t be the same without you, though.”
He grinned broadly and slapped me on the back, saying, “You know I’d never do this without my best friend.”
That brought a little bit of warmth to my cheeks and I had to look away. Gabriel made me feel special in a way that no other guy did. I had friends, to be sure, but I was nowhere near as close to them as I was with Gabriel. He was special.
Not that I’d admit something so sappy in a million years.
It was still early in the morning, but there was a line outside the gates by the time we got off the trolley. I continued to fidget in anticipation while the line crawled forward. Eleanor leaned her head against my shoulder and I took her hand in mine. She helped calm me down.
I loved Eleanor. It had been hard for me to get a girlfriend, but she’d been receptive and helped my parents to stop worrying that I was secretly gay. Not being alone was worth the occasional feeling that she was sometimes too present in my life or needed more than I could actually give her.
Eleanor clutched my hand tightly.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She whispered, “Hmm, just want to make sure you remember which one of us you’re dating.”
“Babe, no, of course I’m going to make time for you today.” I kissed her head. “You mean the world to me.”
We paid our dues and entered through the gates. It was like stepping into another period in time, though one that was uncertain of itself. Old wooden buildings stood side by side with cloth tents, the aesthetic of vintage Americana clashing with the people in costume wielding replica swords.
“What do you want to do first, Gabe?” Claire asked Gabriel.
Gabriel looked around and pondered for a moment. I took in Claire’s outfit. Like Eleanor, she had worn a dress, but also makeup and a pair of block heels. A traditional Renaissance Faire would have been set up in a field with no sidewalks; she’d gotten lucky with her footwear.
“Let’s just look around for a little bit,” Gabriel suggested, wrapping an arm around Claire’s shoulders.
The sight of people in historical costumes had given me an idea, though.
“Before we go too far in,” I told Eleanor, “I think it would be really hot if you rented out one of those historical dresses and wore it for the day?”
Eleanor raised an eyebrow and replied, “So I can trip over myself? No thanks.”
“Come on,” I whine, rubbing her hand with my fingers. “For me? When am I going to see you wearing one otherwise?”
“What about me?” she asked. I cocked my head to the side and furled my brow. “You get to see me in a dress all the time. When am I going to see you in a dress? You should rent one and wear it for the day.”
I laughed and said, “That’s not going to happen.”
“Why not?” she asked, pouting. “You’re my boyfriend. You have to.”
“What’s going on?” Gabriel asked.
“I want Lucas to wear one of those Renaissance dresses and he’s being stubborn.”
“I’m not going to do that.”
“Come on. You like dresses. You’re always commenting on my fashion. Aren’t you interested in trying it out at least once for yourself?”
“No.”
Gabriel chuckled and said, “I dunno, dude. I think you would look pretty good in a dress.”
Heat rushed to my face and I wrinkled my nose, exclaiming, “Not you too!”
Claire said nothing, just watching with doe eyes.
“I’m not–Fine! Fine, I’ll wear a dress.” I couldn’t look at any of them. “Let’s just get this over with.”
It took a few good minutes to find a dress my size. The lady, to her credit, didn’t bat an eye even though it took me a long time to stammer out my request. I ended up with a long green dress with poofy short sleeves.
“Looking good,” Eleanor teased when I stepped out of the changing room.
“Yeah, man! You can really rock the medieval look.”
I felt my vision blur a little bit, but choked the tears down. I’d seen myself in the mirror; all I could see was a man in a dress. Them making fun of me only made it worse.
“Let’s go,” I mumbled.
Nobody could tell how miserable I was, thankfully. Eleanor kept leaning up against me and poking fun at how “pretty” I looked or calling me her girlfriend. I had to bite my tongue to stop from snapping at her.
People were staring at me. Strangers. This was not how I wanted my annual trip to the Ren Faire to go. I knew that, if I could stamp down on these feelings, I could still enjoy my time with my best friend and girlfriend. And Claire.
“I wish you had longer hair so I could braid it,” Eleanor cooed.
I forced myself to chuckle and replied, “not a chance.”
“You’d be so cute, though.”
“I’m a man, Eleanor.”
“Real men are okay with being a little feminine.”
“They also set firm boundaries.”
She snorted. “Spoilsport.”
I sighed and scanned around. We hadn’t found anything that really caught our interest, yet. At some point, I wanted to go on the Old Mill ride with Gabriel. It was practically a tradition at this point.
A tent had been set up that I didn’t remember from years past: a fortune telling booth. There didn’t seem to be a line. My future was always hard for me to envision; anything past high school felt like the great unknown. Tarot cards and palm reading had always interested me because of that even if I couldn’t explore them myself.
“I want to check this out,” I told the others. “I’ll catch up to you after.”
The sign outside said that it was only five dollars a reading, so I peeked inside to see a young woman sitting in a fake Romani outfit at a small table. The tent was lit by a large light bulb hanging from the ceiling. The smell of incense was overwhelming.
“Come in, come in,” the woman told me. “Sit down. Let’s see what the future has in store for you.”
I had expected tarot cards or palm reading, perhaps even astronomy, but I had never heard of the method that this lady used. She placed a deep spoon of wax over an open flame and poured a small bowl of water. When the wax was hot enough, she dribbled it into the bowl and watched it harden on the bottom.
“What do we have here? I see that you are a strong young man, but you face struggles sometimes. Now and again, it feels like something is just off center and needs to be corrected, and you struggle to put a name to what it is. I sense an older figure in your life, possibly multiple, who are a source of conflict and perhaps uncertainty.” Lucas nodded. “You are at an age where you stand on the precipice of a great change in your life. It will be up to you to decide whether to embrace it or reject it, but remember that letting things remain the same will also allow your internal life to stagnate as well.”
I left with a scowl on my face. That hadn’t been helpful at all! I found the others standing around and eating funnel cake. Eleanor and Gabriel frowned when they saw me approach.
“Dude, are you alright?”
“What’s wrong, honey?”
“Just a stupid fake fortune teller,” I mumbled. “It’s not important. We’re here to have fun, aren’t we?”
“Yeah, exactly.” Gabriel nodded, wrapping an arm around Claire. “Let’s forget about scam artists and just enjoy our time together. This is easily going to be the most interesting double date we’ve ever had.”
Claire nodded.
Eleanor kissed me on the cheek and said, “You don’t need to worry about the future, anyway. All you need to know is that we’re always going to be together.”
I smiled softly, then turned and said, “Thank you, Gabriel. That’s exactly what I needed to hear.”
Briefly, I caught Eleanor’s expression falling, but it was back in a flash.
While Garrison Park had a stage area, several additional stages had been set up for performers to show their stuff. One was a stage magician dressed up like he was out of the middle ages, prancing around and pulling things out of his sleeves. There were some seats in the back and we plopped down to share our funnel cake and chatter quietly.
Eleanor insisted on feeding me so that I didn’t get any powdered sugar on my dress. My face burned. I could take care of myself! No boyfriend worth their salt was okay with being treated like this! But I didn’t want to fight over this, so I opened my mouth and just clutched the folds of my dress tightly.
After a few minutes, we fell into silence and watched the magician as the performance grew more elaborate. He kept making callbacks to earlier tricks, so even as I found myself growing bored something new would hook me in. I hadn’t been drawn into a magic show since I was seven.
“Now,” the magician said, gesturing wildly, “I need a volunteer from the audience. I’m not picky about men or women as long as they’re pretty.”
That got a chuckle from the audience, myself included. Eleanor stood abruptly, startling me, and started waving to get the magician’s attention. I had never seen her so invested in something like this. It only dawned on me what was happening when she started pointing to me.
“That young fellow in a dress back there!” the magician said. “Come on up here!”
The audience was watching me. I gulped, paralyzed. Eleanor was helping me to my feet. I wanted to protest, but was afraid of causing a scene. By the time I made it up on stage, I was shaking from nerves.
“Well, young man, have I got a treat for you.” The magician pulled out a deck of cards and splayed them out, face down. “Pick a card. Any card at all!”
Card tricks? Was that all he had? I pulled out a card and showed it to the audience; it was the King of Spades. The magician simply nodded and turned away from me to keep talking to the audience. He moved his hands around a lot and kept reminding me to hold on tightly to the card so the audience could see. Where was this going?
“...and if I show you the card in my pocket–” The magician took a card from his vest. “–you see that it is actually the King of Spades. In fact, the very King of Spades our dear friend was holding before!"
What?!
I looked at my card. It was the Queen of Hearts! How had he done that?! There was never a moment where he’d come close to my hand! I’d never taken my eyes off of the card!
“What?!”
What was wrong with my voice?!
“Let’s thank this little lady for providing her assistance,” the magician said, taking the card from my numb hand. “You may return to your seat now, my dear.”
I stepped off the stage while my shaking hands reached up to grasp the long strands of hair that were in my face. They brushed up against a bra that I hadn’t been wearing before, and I had to resist the urge to scream. By the time I made it back to my seat, I was seeing spots.
“Are you alright?” Eleanor asked.
Not trusting myself to speak without throwing up, I nodded.
“You look a little pale,” Gabriel said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Do you need water?”
I nodded again. He offered me a water bottle and I took small sips from it. Everyone was staring at me while I was staring off into distant space. When I handed the water bottle back, I opened my mouth to breathe deeply.
“That was just a little scarier than I thought it would be,” I said in a soft, shaking voice. “I was nervous, that’s all.”
Eleanor grabbed me in a loose hug, insisting, “I’m sorry I pressured you, Sarah. It’s alright now, though.”
I winced. No. No, it most certainly was not.
As soon as the show ended and the magician stepped off stage, I rose to my feet and locked in on him. The others asked “Sarah” where she was going while I picked up the pace. My target had disappeared through a curtain behind the stage and I grit my teeth.
Someone grabbed me by the arm.
“Sarah, where are you going?”
“Let go of me, Gabriel. I have to talk to him.”
“Babe, relax. Did he say something to you? Did he do something bad?”
“I just have to talk to… Babe?”
He was frowning, his brow knit. I looked past him to Eleanor and Claire and only then realized that Claire was wearing a different outfit: pants and a loose tee shirt with sneakers. Her hair had been cut too. Before my eyes, she and Eleanor exchanged a brief little butterfly kiss.
My stomach dropped out as the world started to go dark.
Oh wow, taking the card doing the transformation, never seen that one before, that was neat :D Also oh no this poor baby!