He was once more in that district, drinking in that same room he liked to reserve and hearing the same sound of qin from Miss Hua. Chang Jin had a sort of melancholia written on his face, having long stopped smiling when he came here. Indeed, he couldn't smile anymore. His unbridled and carefree manners, those boisterous laughs and lengthy tirades he could only express when coming to this place previously, nowadays, could no longer be found. He was too lonely for that. Was it five years already? It seemed so, he already was twenty-one after all and today, so would have been Chang Shun. The corners of his lips lifted a little. It was better this way.
***
It was only when the sun was hung high in the sky that Chang Jin came back home, the bags under his eyes dark, not having gotten more sleep in the pavilion of flowers than at home. The only convenience, at the very least, was that food there wouldn't have him throwing up blood.
In five years' time, he grew skinnier, bonnier, and his 'illness' didn't get better at all. Yet he was still very much alive to the disappointment of his family. Rumors were going wild outside about the debauched first master of House Chang whose business crashed due to negligence and who only knew how to drink and play with women. Chang Jin, aware of what was being said about it, didn't bat an eye at it at all, and neither did he change his lifestyle.
His mother tried to appeal to him, and his father scolded him until his voice was hoarse but at the end of the day, all these fell on deaf ears and no matter which restrictions they exert to prevent him from leaving the house, he would always find his ways to the pavilion of flowers and to Miss Hua's soft voice who would sometimes help him to catch some sleep. God knew his body needed that.
Upon arriving at the gates, for a change, the servants who usually ignored him actually came forward to salute him. Despite their reverence, Chang Jin could still see the disdain in their eyes. He ignored it, way too lazy to care.
"First young master, Master Chang is summoning you." The young man said.
His father summoning him? Right now? For what?
He yawned and continued his road, offhandedly saying, "I'm too sleepy, not going." Either way, as it was, his father was already displeased with him, no matter what, the situation couldn't be worse. He rather not listen to any more curses and admonishments as it was.
Though he was really prepared to return to his courtyard and ingest some sleeping pills, he was still rudely stopped once more by the servant who rapidly caught up to him and stood in front of him, blocking his path,
"Master has expressed that today's matter is of great importance and your presence, once you're back, is very much required."
Chang Jin clicked his tongue and considered the possibility of forcing his way to his own courtyard. Younger, he had been very proficient in martial arts but his sickness forced him to stop the practice. Now, looking at this robust servant in front of him and comparing him to his own skeletal body, he couldn’t really be sure of his ability to win without damage.
“Lead the way.” He finally settled for, displeasure lacing his voice.
Following the servant, he found himself in the main hall of the residence and not waiting to be announced, directly helped himself inside. Apparently, he was the only missing member of the family that wasn’t here yet to this meeting.
Upon entering, he saw the joy on his younger brother, Chang Cheng’s face as well as his mother’s. Concubine Xie was smiling too, but, clearly, she was frustrated. Her son, Chang Xing, wasn’t even trying to hide his displeasure and his words were protesting,
“How can that be, Father? My stores were clearly the ones with the most revenue. Do consider again.”
With a tone of finality, Father Chang said, “My decision is final.”
At that moment, concubine Xie happened to see the standing at the door Chang Jing and he served as an outlet for her anger,
“Great first young master finally deigned to honor us with his presence, how can that be? Is it that, now the result was to be announced, First young master had the time to come back? A pity it has already been given.”
Thrust into the spotlight, he didn’t have much of a reaction and rather observed that of the others. There was ridicule in concubine Xie’s eyes, Chang Cheng seemed to be annoyed with his appearance, Chang Xing didn’t even put him in his eyes, and his father was so angry to see him that he was breathing loudly while his mother was the only one who smiled softly at him, welcoming him back in her gentle voice.
Ignoring the concubine -which made the latter seethe with rage,- he saluted his father and mother before his mother got up and made him sit next to her, taking his hands in hers, asking him how he was feeling while at the same time ordering for her servants to bring in his medicinal soup.
Chang Jin caressed her hands back, smiling softly at her too. He heard, without seeing, Cheng clicked his tongue in displeasure. Although they were born from the same mother, they never really had a peaceful conversation and this younger brother of his liked to pretend he didn't exist. Their two years apart meant nothing for this young man and there had never been a thread of respect while he talked to his elder. It was even worse with Xing who was, though, three years younger than him.
“Good, good! Besides messing with girls, is there anything you know!” roared Father Chang.
Chang Jin paused in his movement, his mother gripped his hands gently before he patted the back of her hands in a reassuring gesture. Without lifting his head, he reminded,
“Wasn’t it Father who said that I shouldn’t touch matters related to the stores years ago?”
Indeed, it had been so. Shortly after Chang Shun's death, a robbery occurred in the first master’s principal store and priceless things disappeared overnight. Father Chang who was waiting for an opportunity to take those stores back, used it as an excuse, accused Chang Jin of negligence and divided Chang Jin’s store between his other two sons: Chang Cheng and Chang Xing.
“You dare talk back now?! Mei Ren look at the good thing you raise!”
“Master calm down, think of your body. First young master is just momentarily muddled by second young master's Shun’s death,” soothed concubine Xie.
If she didn’t talk it would have been better but now Father Chang blows his top.
“Momentarily? When wasn’t he like this, ah! Chang Shun’s death? Wasn’t he my son too! Don’t I grieve? Wasn’t he everyone’s brother here? Do you see Xing’er and Cheng’er acting like that!”
Madam Mei, who had always had a way to make her husband’s anger receded after skillfully using his profound link with the dead Chang Shun couldn’t do it anymore. Concubine Xie had said her words deliberately to prevent her from doing so.
“Husband, don’t be angry,” she tried anyway-
But Father Chang wasn’t willing to wait and angrily left, not even bothering to listen. Concubine Xie gloated and left, her son following behind. There were now only Mother Mei and her two sons in the room.
“You should have just stayed where you were, what did you come back here for?”
“Cheng!” scolded Madam Mei, “Apologize this instant, what happened to you?”
But the other didn’t care.
“Mother I am leaving first” he said before exiting the room too.
“This child really,” she sighed concernedly.
Chang Jin just smiled. It seemed that for Chang Cheng he was even more of a nuisance than before. After all, having this kind of wastrel as a brother really wasn’t doing him any good, rather it only served to tarnish his reputation and that of the family.
“What happened?”
Mother Mei had a troubled expression.
“…That… don’t be angry... Your father said that his successor would be Cheng’er.”
Jin laughed lightly, “What’s there to be angry about? Hadn’t I always known I wouldn’t be chosen? It’s good that it’s him. He has a quick grasp of the situation and isn’t as impulsive as Xing who only cared for the highest price out of a deal. Cheng made long-lasting contracts this year and brought many new clients. Really a good choice.”
Now that this person was the successor, would he persuade their father to send him far away? Jin had heard the boy discuss this with their mother some months ago but she had managed to placate him at the time. Now what?
Jin stared at the medicinal concoction his mother’s servant just brought before grasping his mother’s hands in his, looking intently at her.
“Are you happy?” He asked with a smile.
“En” the older woman acknowledged, “very happy.”
“That’s good.”
She slowly retracted her hand and took the bowl to feed him personally, “But if you start to care a bit about yourself too, I will be happier. You really can’t keep up like that. Your father is already so angry. Who knows if tomorrow he won’t chase you if you continue. So be good from now on, for Mother.”
Jin took the bowl from her and drank in one trait, not responding. It could be taken as him not agreeing. His mother sighed again, in disappointment, before patting his hand, saying softly, “Jin” she muttered, “Mother had really wronged you. But now, let Mother take care of you, alright?”
“Mother needs not to worry too much. I am taking my leave now.”
As he left the room, the smile he harbored previously died and as he touched his lips, he wondered why exactly he felt that sense of disappointment that shouldn’t be here. Obviously, he had long known it but… he couldn’t have helped himself wishing even if it was just for a bit.
***
Chang Jin’s courtyard wasn’t worse than that of the two other young masters of the house. His mother had seen to it that his father didn’t mistreat him. However, there were barely any servants around. The first young master himself didn’t want them anywhere near him, so they only came to clean, provide food, take away the plates, or when they were called. Jin directly went to his bedroom, though tired, he was unable to sleep and start looking around for his sleeping pills. Beside the bottle of sleeping pills, there was another one, half full. He clicked his tongue remembering that they couldn’t be used both at the same time. He had to wait at least four hours after ingesting one to ingest the second. Thus, he put the second pill in his mouth and went to bed. Though he knew sleep certainly wouldn’t come, he still went under the blanket and willed it. He tossed and turned for almost two hours before getting up and leaving once more.
He hadn’t really had any destination in mind, just felt suffocate at home. His feet took him to the graveyard and in the end, he advanced where his brother’s stale was.
For everyone not in the known, five years ago, this younger brother died, calcinate in his store. The man had shouted at the top of his lungs as he burned but he couldn’t be helped, trapped in the sea of fire, people had been unable to save him and could only present a thoroughly burned body to his family.
Jin caressed the name on the stale, another sigh escaping his lips. In this world, the only person who had really been a brother to him had certainly been this little one. Was it selfish to say that he missed him dearly?
Unbeknown to him, there was a shadow behind him that was looking at his back with eyes glazing with fury, breath seething with hatred.
***
In five years, Chang Shun had had the time to change. He had started with his name, taking the old physician’s family name, which also coincided to be his birth mother’s name, thus he became Luo Shun.
Luo Shun was very different from Chang Shun. He didn’t cry, didn’t stupidly laugh with anyone and most certainly never said anything as disgusting as ‘elder brother is the best’.
Hiding from eyesight, he thought long and hard about how to make those who made him suffer pay. Old Luo was very enthusiastic about helping him and while hiding him and nourishing him back to health, the old man also taught him about the art of poison. He was, apparently, much more proficient in it than in being a physician.
And so, since he left the city with the old man five years back -when he had been strong enough to travel after his wound- it was his first time coming back. He had come to the graveyard to pay respect to his mother and to strengthen his resolution. Who would have thought that he would meet with the person he had come to hate the most?
Though he had been injured at that time, the old physician had helped him inquire around. Naïve as he was, he had thought to let his father know about the misdeeds of Chang jin and helped him. But Chang Jin was very swift and before he knew it, the news of his death was all over the city and even a corpse had been found. His family thought they buried the real second young master thus for him, there was no place to go back to anymore. There was no way Chang Jin hadn’t known he had escaped that night. It could only be said that he did it so that Shun couldn’t stand in front of his father. Suspicious as the man was, even if his own son was right in front, he would still say it was a scammer. With how things were, there was certainly no one who would be vouching for him, certainly not that dear mother of his.
The old physician reminded him that maybe it was better to make himself forgotten for a time. Since he had made such a bold move, that first young master had certainly prepared assassins for him. They better leave the city first. So they did.
It was in those tough days of seeing his own funeral procession that Shun finally conceded to the physician’s words and nursed a thirst for revenge. For five years, it had been his driving force.
***
Chang Jin stayed in front of the grave for a time, before turning his heels and… considering things, he returned to the Pavilion of Flowers. Even though his father forcibly took away his stores to distribute and even distribute Shun’s stores, Jin’s wasn’t out of the means to have money. He had some dealings outside known by only him and his mother who was also eager to give him money without even needing to ask her.
He once more asked for Miss Hua. However, he was told that she was sleeping at the moment. After all, she had accompanied him all night long. The manager asked if he could recommend another woman, but Jin just waved him away, ordering a room and just some old wine to keep him company.
With the passing of time, everyone within the pavilion started wondering if the first young master Chang would buy away Miss Hua’s freedom. Such devotion he had for her, more than six years already, they just couldn’t help but talk about it. Still, even today, nothing of the sort happened.
Once the wine was here, as he was prepared to drink, Jin vaguely remembered his little brother’s nagging about drinking on an empty stomach. He smiled lightly, before ordering food as well.
Recently, he was fighting to keep the things he ate down for most of the time, he would find himself throwing them up right away. So Jin ate slowly but halfway through his bowl, he frowned. He was feeling fainter and fainter.
The door to his room opened and a man wearing all black came to sit in front of him. Upon recognizing his face, Chang Jin’s eyes widened in disbelief. That reaction seemed to satisfy the newcomer, as he bent down and filled the empty cup with wine.
“Long time no see elder brother, I trust you've been well.”
The voice was more mature but without a doubt, it was really Chang Shun!
Jin’s bowl broke as he unconsciously knocked it down while backing away, seemingly stricken with disbelief.
“You! How can you be here!”
“What is wrong? One would think you’ve seen a ghost.” Shun laughed.
Jin who had gotten up felt his feet give away under his weight and as he fell, his gaze never left Shun.
“Is it you?” His brain geared rapidly and he looked at his food, “You drugged me.” It wasn't a question but a certainty.
There was no intention of denial in Luo Shun, “The same one you used on me five years ago.”
Jin’s eyelids were already heavy. Realization dawned on him. He couldn't help but mumble softly, “Are you going to kill me?”
"What do you think?"
Jin stared for a while before his eyes reflected something akin to acceptance,
"I think...", he smiled, fighting the urge to sleep, each word coming more and more soft and slurred, almost indistinguishable "You've grown up into a dashing young man." He finished in a whisper and finally couldn’t control his body anymore, dropping unconscious.
