Myphone rings on the way back to Jessica's, and I pick it up, "Hey, where are you?" It's Jessica's voice. 

"On my way to your place now. I packed up my apartment, served notice to my landlord and old boss, yadda yadda."

"That works, the hospital wanted to keep me overnight, so I'm heading home myself now. Ugh. I am looking forward to not having cracked ribs. Oh, and just so you know: Docs are mystified by why the thugs went into their comas, but most of them came out of it already. And they're being very cooperative.  They even refused bail. I think you made them fear me more than their boss."

"Well… I did essentially glare them into unconsciousness while soaking bullets and looking like you. They may think you're Kara Zor-El or something now."

"Yeah, that's a bad thing."

"Well… I have a good lead on a steady source of income that shouldn't raise too many red flags, and only need about three tons of salt and two weeks of work to make you basically unkillable. Can fit James in the same space as well."

"Might need a rush on that."

"Two weeks is rushing things… is delivery to your place OK? I have access to my bank account now, and while I only have about a month's income socked away, I should be getting at least some of my deposit back on my apartment, I'm debt free, and I have a lot less in expenses now. Oh, and before I forget: I have a portable house, it's just pending power and utilities."

"Yeah, should be fine, although weird for how much salt you're ordering. Anyone asks, I'll tell them I have a houseguest who's using it for a modern art project. And… a what?"

"Part of my power. I can spend a minute to open a door that only people I choose can see or use. It leads to a nice house with attached storage. No direct internet, power, water, or sewer yet, but it has hookups for them. I plan to store the salt and do my work there."

"Ah. So… when can I expect my pain relief?"

I check my map app, "Looks like I'm about three miles out, so fifteen minutes. Ish."

"Traffic's bad?"

"Nah, it's fine. I'm on foot."

"What, are you expecting to run flat out the whole way?"

"Yes. I'm doing so now. I could go faster with a spell, but don't really want to attract the kind of attention that comes with breaking Olympic records, and dodging traffic while invisible doesn't seem wise."

"You're not even breathing hard."

"My power has some fun aspects, this is one of them."

"I'll see you soon, then, sweetness."

"See you soon."

We hang up… I really need a matching pet name for my girlfriend. That thought almost makes me stop. Traffic keeps me going, though. Stopping in the middle of the road is bad. My girlfriend. I haven't had many of those, and we've already 'gone to town' - and haven't even been on a proper date. She has taken me places to do things… and she's always paid… which feels weird, as I'm a guy… and I already moved in with her. Am I easy? Oh, right, guys are mostly supposed to be. I'm normal. For a guy. Oversized chest and void between my legs notwithstanding, I am a guy, so I'm fine.  And as soon as I start selling clothes, I'll have the money to take her out to dinner.  That one spell makes me possibly the world's best tailor. Fastest, at least, within the options of the spell.

My train of thought is derailed by actually arriving at Jessica's… our… home, where I see her on the porch, watching me run. Nice that she appreciates my form. What must I look like? Long hair streaming behind me in the wind, my four jugs - finally properly supported - bouncing with each step, my caboose jumping… great, I'm getting worked up just picturing myself.

I stop at the porch, and my lady greets me, "You cut a fine figure. Where did you get clothes tailored for you?"

"A spell, where else?"

"Another illusion?" She seems annoyed. 

"Nah, these are completely real, and can be fitted to anyone, in nearly any style imaginable… although there are some limits. I'm probably going to end up making a lot of trips to Goodwill because it's easier for me to make more clothes than it is for me to clean them."

"So… you could make clothes for me, too?"

"Yeah, nearly anything I can picture."

"What’s the 'nearly'?"

"There’s some limits on how much I can use in the way of gemstones, gold, silver, and such."

"But you could make a silk ballgown?"

"Sure, what color?"

"Ah… how about we fix up my ribs before we play dress up?"

"Oh, right. It's a touch range spell…"

"Let’s go inside, then."

We go inside the house, and I tap Jessica with Celestial Healing followed by Cure Moderate Wounds a few times. Why Celestial Healing? I want to make a good impression, and that one explicitly feels holy. It's practically a worthless spell otherwise, due to the very short duration of the fast healing it provides.

Once she's all better (I use Status to be sure), my lady inquires, "So about that house you mentioned…"

"You don't want help out of the bandages?" Wait, am I pouting?

"There aren't any. They stopped doing that, apparently it makes it difficult to breathe deeply, and that’s needed to prevent other problems.  Been a while since I had broken ribs, so it was a surprise to me, too. But I'll absolutely want to play a little dress up with that clothing spell of yours. And you'll need good measurements." She winks.

Her wink makes me feel warm, especially in my middle. It's nice.

She smiles, "So, the house?"

"Right, yes," I focus, and Jessica waits patiently while I stand there doing seemingly nothing, and after the one minute passes, a faint shimmering appears in the air at the wall I selected, four feet wide and eight feet high. I bow and add, "After you."

She steps through, and I follow… only to find her with her cell phone already out standing in my "driveway".

"No signal, huh," Jessica looks around, "So where is this place, exactly?"

"We're in a small pocket reality, a space outside all dimensions you're used to. The conditions outside the 'door' don't affect anything in here, so yeah, no signal. I plan to hook up to utilities by way of running wires and hoses through the 'door'."

"So I'm out of my jurisdiction, then?"

I pause. Well, she did want to play dress up, "Yes. I am the law here, and your outfit is totally in violation. You'll need to remove it immediately."

I get a "Yes Ma'am!" as she starts taking off her clothes, "But whatever shall I wear?"

Grinning at her tone, I open the door to the "house" and use the doorframe to accept Clothier's Closet, creating a "Noble Outfit" that looks like Cinderella's ballgown… as imaged by an adult film company. It will support her girls pushing them up and together… but not cover them. It's got a long, flowing skirt that balloons out from her waist… to the sides and back, with no covering for her carpet or legs. Small rubies are woven with gold thread into a pattern around her bodice, designed to draw the eye. It even comes with glass stiletto heels. And the dress is silk, dyed to perfectly match her hair, of course.

"Will this do, mademoiselle?" I ask with a flourish. 

"Certainly," I hear as she starts putting it on, putting her pert pink parts on display, "But do you fit this dress code?"

Eh, I can, "In a moment, I just transitioned between realms…" I dismiss and re-cast Clothier's Closet, and make an equally ridiculous outfit for myself. A black silk dress with a few front straps to support and show off my four dark orbs, a high collar lined with black pearls mounted in silver, semi-transparent sleeves, and a poofy skirt in the exact same style as the one I made for Jessica. I also include black sequined stiletto heels. I'm immortal. Breaking my neck is a setback, not a problem. I can risk it.

As I start to undress, I ask myself: Am I really willing to put on something like this? I finish stripping, and look at Jessica, who is almost finished dressing herself. If it means I get to see that again? Yes, absolutely. 

I figure out how to put on my ridiculous outfit (it's basically a fancy cape with some ties) and slip into my heels. I stand unsteadily, and look Jessica in the eye as I feel my cheeks warm up. Hers are quite red as well.

We both laugh. 

"OK, these are truly ridiculous outfits, but I must admit the cloth feels good on my skin," the detective tells me through her embarrassment, "And you look amazing. What are these made of?"

"I can assure you,you look better. Yours is silk, rubies, and gold. Mine is silk, black pearls, and silver."

That gives her pause, "And they'll last how long?"

"Forever, theoretically.  They're perfectly mundane," although these ones did come out of a very hormonal imagination. 

"And you can make this kind of thing at will?"

"Yes, but it has to be clothes, there's a limit to how valuable any one of them can be, and I can only do it where I can setup the rod, which can't be more than ten feet long."

"That's… not much in the way of limitations."

"It's not, no. Gemstones and precious metals sell pretty well, so I was planning on harvesting the materials and selling those to jewelry makers."

"You could also sell the dresses directly."

"Yes, but not quickly. I understand they go on consignment, and sit there in the store until someone buys them. Gold, silver, and gemstones? Any gem or precious metal dealer will take those immediately. So I have an income stream ready to go, all I need is an ID. How's that coming along?"

"James dropped it off this morning. It's in an envelope on the kitchen table when you're ready. For now… do you think you can navigate your house in heels?"

I take a step, and fall on my very well padded rear, "Nope," I reply as I take them off and stand up, going barefoot, "It's not a skill I have. At least not for heels that high."

Her face still red, Jessica speaks, "Well, let's see this house of yours."

I lead the way. But we get distracted in the bedroom.