Jessica and James of course have body cameras with their gear in their cars. They check one out for me at the station, and I put it on… awkwardly, as it really wasn't meant for my chest.

I hand out toys - wands of Fireball, Lightning Bolt, and Flame Strike (the Druid version is 4th) with caster levels that match the spells' associated caps (I have no reason to stop at the minimum caster level). I also gift Jessica and James ranks in Use Magic Device so they can actually trigger them.

We head to the most recent location, and head down. Thankfully, the Life Bubble spell specifies fresh air, so we don't need to worry about the scent.  And as predicted, the sewer is remarkably clean, scoured down to metal and rock by the beast we're hunting.

Jessica summons her Eidolon, Lady Kitten, once we're down.  I update Lady Kitten's buffs as well. I can't give her the Shapechange because it requires a humanoid and Outsiders aren't on my Attuned Mysticism list, but there's a spell…

"Lady Kitten, if you had a human form to shift in and out of so you could more readily accompany Jessica, what would you want it to look like?"

The fantastic looking cat considers, "I'm guessing this is an offer, not a hypothetical question?"

I nod.

"Can you do a preview so we can discuss it specifically?"

Well, I have Major Image, so… "It won't be EXACT, but yes, not a problem."

"OK, let's start with a human female…"

I cast Major Image to make a mannequin, and we discuss it for a while, with Jessica making comments and James staying well out of it. In the end, we build a body that could easily pass for Jessica's sister. The same green eyes, red hair, muscular build, freckles, and light skin tone; she goes slightly larger on the chest, making her about average in that department, a narrow waist, and child bearing hips.

And after I cast the spell, I find out why James is looking the other way: the Shapechanger's Gift spell doesn't do clothing. Clothier's Closet fixes that right up, but we discover another issue: The nonhuman form is her natural one, and the absorption clause in the Polymorph subschool doesn't cover clothing when switching to one's native form. Which means they all rip apart when she changes back.

Well… at least they're not expensive. And Lady Kitten needs her normal form for combat anyway.

After hearing the ripping, James pipes up, "I take it we're done playing dress up for now?"

Lady Kitten answers, "Yeah. I'll generally need to dress up at home, and maybe carry spare clothes for when I need to change in the field."

James continues the conversation, "Sounds like a decent plan for normal life. And your basic form is better for this anyway. You charge in and trigger Split, the rest of us hit the copies with area attacks to finish them off as Split cuts their current health in half. Sound good?"

"I don't have a better plan," is my response. Nobody else does either, so we turn on the body cameras, and Lady Kitten sniffs around a bit. She finds a scent readily enough, and off we go.

We keep a marching order: Lady Kitten, me, James, and Jessica. A basic ooze shouldn't be able to seriously hurt any of us, and we are all effectively immortal, but Lady Kitten is doing the tracking so must be in front. I'm just shy of invulnerable, and so take the next. Jessica and James… I'm not sure how they picked their order.

As we walk, Jessica muses, "If we can keep them from killing people, these oozes might be a good thing."

James and I raise our eyebrows at that, so she elaborates, "OK, so rats are a big problem for cities past a certain size, right?"

I nod.

"Have you seen any down here?"

As I consider Jessica's question, James answers, "No, I haven't."

"And this place is practically polished…"

"... which will make maintenance easier, for the most part," James completes.

"One big problem though," I rain on their parade, "We don't have a sufficiently reliable way to keep them from killing the maintenance guys."

James rubs his chin, "You can make stone statues into animated objects, and give them skills, right?"

I can, but… "And force all the existing guys out of their jobs?"

Jessica chimes in, "One of the worst jobs in the world, the tunnel staff in town was short-handed before this began, many of them are now dead, and the rest do not want to come down here due to the deaths. They can easily transfer to above ground positions."

Huh. "OK, yeah, I can do that, then. I'll probably make them adamantine, though."

James furrows his brow, "Where do you get…"

Not wanting this on official records, I answer telepathically,《I've reached a point where I can make arbitrary materials out of nothing thanks to the wording of Fabricate. I can make a proof of concept model in less than an hour, but production models will take a bit longer due to control limits on the method I use for proof of concept.》Verbally, I go with, "I have my ways," while looking smug.

It doesn't take too long for us to find the ooze. Despite Lady Kitten being in the lead, I see it first as we round a corner. Not because of my superior darkvision, but because of my Perception skill. You see, it's a Gelatinous Cube, a ten foot tall ooze in the basic shape of a cube, and it is just shy of invisible. Won't Split, but Lady Kitten doesn't really need to worry about getting killed, and the paralytic poison and acid should be neutralized by my buffs on her, so she should be fine with the plan anyway. I call a halt while we're still outside of it's Blindsense range.

"Hold up, I can see it just ahead. Here…."

I tag it with the Glittterdust spell, highlighting it in glowing sparkles. That would also blind it, but they already can't see, so that aspect doesn't do anything. Everyone else follows through on the plan, and it works beautifully on the ooze in front of us. Lady Kitten slashes it up, Jessica and James blast away with Flame Strike, and it's dead in a round.

Which is just enough time for the four hiding in pipes well above us to fall on top of us.

Not that it does much. We all take our shots at the beasts as they engulf us, but I don't get injured at all, while the two detectives and Jessica's pet cat are sufficiently warded that they only sustain a few scrapes. Painful, and they are obviously bleeding within the monsters, but Greater Celestial Healing does it's job, and the wounds start to close quickly. Resist Energy prevents the acid from doing anything, and Freedom of Movement prevents them from being paralyzed or held in place, so Lady Kitten starts clawing up the beast from the inside while Jessica and James continue blasting away with Fireball wands (yes, they switch). Me, I have to worry about splash damage (I bypass immunities, wands don't) and so just use Maximized Scorching Ray and a regular Scorching Ray maximized via Divine Providence.

We of course have four more toasted ooze corpses in short order.

We do run into a "problem" though. Resist Energy protects all equipment just fine, while armor, shields, weapons, and magical equipment is additionally protected by your hit points if not specifically targeted. Normal clothing is not any of those, and the cubes didn't just do acid damage. Jessica's shirt and bra are gone, as is James shirt. James turns around and pointedly stares at a wall, denying me a view of his muscled chest - although his back is nice too. I turn to Jessica, who is looking at me and humming a bit, a goofy smile on her face. I am enjoying the view of her pert points jiggling joyfully free… but James is here too, and the cameras are rolling.

So I cast Clothier's Closet in a nearby alcove, and hand Jessica a hanger with a replacement outfit to match the one she was wearing, making sure to have one for James on the same rack.

"What’s this for?" Jessica apparently hasn't figured out she's topless yet. Which makes sense; Life Bubble keeps you feeling comfortable in all but some very extreme temperatures, and the Resist Energy set I have on her would protect her completely from anything short of a blast furnace or a bath in liquid nitrogen.

Well, she is my girlfriend, so I can tell her in an unusual manner… I step up to her, cup her chest with my free hand, and roll her milk tap between my fingers, "I'm enjoying the view, but you're usually a little sensitive about such things, and we're on camera."

She bites her lip and moans at the sensation… before turning beet red and snatching the hanger, quickly turning around and getting dressed. As she does, she clues me in: "Look down."

I do, and… oh. My four fantastic funbags are exposed too. Eh, I'm a guy, what's it matter? But if it makes her more comfortable… I cast a Persistent Seeming on myself to get illusory clothing, and give Jessica True Seeing.

What? She's my girlfriend, she's allowed to look, and I like that she likes me.

When Jessica finishes getting dressed, she speaks, "I am covered now, partner."

As he turns back around, I hand him his hanger, and he dresses up. We dig out the recording devices - turns out we weren't on camera, as all the straps broke, and the lenses shattered when they hit the ground - but they seem to still be running. We stop them - they aren't getting more useful video anyway - and head back outside.