I set an announcement that my flight services will be moving to within my airport terminal on a particular date, and settle into a routine of milking, granting flight, milking, spending time with Jessica, milking, and trying to keep up with the world.

That last one is actually pretty hard.

I find James doesn’t wait for his two weeks to begin his conquering spree… although from what I can tell, nobody in the states actually knows about it. Oh, it makes the news all right… but James doesn’t do a violent conquering. Well, not what most folks would consider violence, anyway; some would, and rightly enough. But what shows up on the news is beyond peaceful… it’s peace talks.

Apparently spontaneous peace talks. Videos of the leaders of the various factions - the Taliban, the Islamic State in Khorasan, and the National Resistance Front - sitting at a big table, talking to each other. Civilly. I largely ignore the actual newscaster doing commentary, and use my very high perception to listen and watch the bigwigs in the background. They’re all eager to write up a constitution that includes everyone. Too eager. After the minute timer needed for a Sense Motive check, it’s quite clear: All of them are Charmed, including their various immediate subordinates. Watching the effects, my skills also tell me exactly which spell he used: Charm Monster. Yes, Charm Person would do it, but Charm Monster lasts days, where Charm Person lasts hours. No violence of the body, ‘just’ violence of the mind. For me figuring it out is easy, for most though… the difficulty class of the check is twenty-five for Sense Motive. A trained psychologist will pick up on that during an office visit every time (that’s the circumstances where they’ll effectively be taking twenty), but almost all of them would need to get lucky to pick it up normally. They’re at the peace talks because James told them to be there. They’re making a reasonably fair constitution because James told them to do so. And he’s magically persuasive. I wonder if he did a variation on Scry & Die (Scry & Charm?) or if he snuck in invisibly? Of course, given that at least two of the three leaders at the table cheerfully use violence to meet their goals, it’s… hmm. Still not sure what I think of it. He’s keeping to the deal, though, and doing exactly what he said he would. So it’s a bloodless coup.

But it is a coup.

And yes, his conquering does push me up another level. Fifteenth brings me eighth level psionic powers (although at that point, most of them are duplicates of spells, there’s very little in the way of new abilities), and I do grab Reshape Reality from a young, drunk Keketar… because being able to shuffle the terrain and buildings around me in a way that is real enough to put up walls is going to be handy at some point. Or not, but hey: It’s basically free due to buffs.

Jessica’s still stuck thinking like a human. I mean, I can see inside us with Improved blindsight, and my perception is high enough that yes, after a week I can make out the little babies growing. But she still wants to see the doctor. OK then…. I’m sure this will be interesting.

We manage to book the appointment together - apparently it's not that unusual for a "lesbian couple" to get inseminated at the same time - not that I’m a lesbian, mind, I'm a guy - nor did we use insemination… or did we? May have to change language a bit. But whatever, we managed a double appointment.

When it comes time for the appointment, things start out perfectly normal. We get there twenty minutes early, fill out the paperwork, listen to the music in the waiting room, get called in… and that's where things start to go wrong.

Oh, the height and weight measurements go well enough. After that, though? The nurse takes my blood pressure. She slips the cuff around my arm, hits the button on the automatic unit, it inflates… and then beeps a few times and deflates. The nurse frowns, checks the screen, and runs it again. It does the same. She frowns a bit more deeply, and gets one of the manual types out, inflates it on my arm, and puts a stethoscope on my arm. After she adjusts it several times, frown deepening each time, I speak up:

"Let me guess… you're having trouble finding my pulse?"

"Yes… which makes it difficult to measure your blood pressure, as that's measured based on how much it takes to stop it completely, and how much it takes to stop just the low end of the pulse from your heartbeat."

"That's going to be a problem, as I don't have a heartbeat."

"That's silly everyone has a …" she trails off, because she moved the stethoscope to my chest, and can't find it there, either. She checks my right side, my left side, under both of my top massive milkers, and the artery on my neck… both sides, with both stethoscope and her fingers, just to be sure. Eventually… "That's… but you're conscious…"

"I am, yes. And I'm fine. I've been this way for a while now."

"But… you're dead…"

"I can assure you, I'm not. It's OK. Just write down 'equipment failed to read' or something for your official records, and you'll probably be fine."

"That's… ok, I don't see many options… unless you want a crash cart?"

I shake my head, "As I said: I'm fine."

The nurse moves on to my lady, and things go better with her. At least for the blood pressure and pulse. Her temperature and blood oxygen goes fine too. For me, though…

She takes my temperature, takes her own, takes mine again… then does the same with the blood oxygen measurement device, and sighs.

"OK, so… the thermometer says you're room temperature. And there's no air in your blood, assuming you actually have any. And you have no pulse. Are you an android or something?"

I sigh, "Or something. You've seen me on the news, yes?"

"Well, yes, but… you still have to have biology…"

Jessica starts chuckling.

I reply, "One would think… but no, the rules you're used to don't apply when I'm involved. Some of them won't apply for Jessica, either."

"Right… well… doctor will want a sample for the hormone test…"

"Yeah… neither of us produce liquid waste…"

"No cups, then. OK… well, I'll tell the doctor you're ready…."

The nurse leaves the room, and we wait. And wait. And wait. I even know why we're waiting. I can hear the doctor and nurse arguing. Seems the doctor doesn't believe the nurse on the results, and is alternating between accusing her of being lazy and being incompetent.

So I break up the argument; Fleeting Spell and Persistent Spell on Greater Scrying, followed by Message, gets me in on the conversation as a disembodied whisper, "OK, so… first off, I can hear you both from the examination room. It's not very professional to argue with your staff where the patients can hear," actually, they have pretty good soundproofing; I just have really good hearing, "Second… if you really think she's being lazy or incompetent, you're welcome to try taking my measurements yourself. You'll get the same non-results."

Both the doctor and nurse jump at that, and look around, so I talk to them more, "Oh, I’m still in the examination room, along with Jessica. I just have the means to talk through walls when I like." Or across continents, planets, or planes, but I don't want to get into that conversation right now.

"I'll… see you in a minute, then?" The doctor is still looking around, trying to find the source of my voice. She looks a little weirded out.

But she comes.

And yes, she repeats the routine with the automated blood pressure cuff. And the manual one. And the stethoscope all over my chest. And her hands on my neck looking for a pulse. And the thermometer on both me and herself. And the oxygen monitor as well.

The doctor sighs, "Well… I guess I owe her an apology. Umm… are you even human?"

"Technically? Yes. For your purposes… probably not even close."

"Right… well, that's going to cripple my ability to diagnose anything. So you can't pee in a cup…" she did get some information from the nurse, "... blood draw OK?"

I shrug, "I don't bleed, and my skin would break a chainsaw. Jessica can bleed, and her skin is not as tough, but you'll probably have trouble there, too." I have Hardness twenty and damage reduction ten, she has damage reduction fifteen… although the Change Shape might turn that off, I'd have to check. Regardless, we're both pretty hard to hurt.

"Right… well, then… do you know how far along you are?"

Jessica volunteers that, "It's been two weeks since conception."

The doctor seems flummoxed, "And you know you're pregnant how?"

My turn, "Magic."

She pauses, "OK, for most people, I'd laugh. I'm going to accept that as valid for you."

Better answer than most, "Thanks, I guess."

The doctor continues, "But I can't do much for you right now, other than point you at some literature, tell you to eat and drink right…"

Jessica interrupts, "Neither of us actually need to eat or drink."

The doctor blinks a few times, then she continues, "Right. Because magic. Well, if you come back in another four to six weeks, I can do a sonogram to confirm things medically. Otherwise… congratulations? Sorry, you've got me REALLY off my game."

I chuckle, "Yeah… I'll take the literature, at least. Probably will want that sonogram appointment."

The doctor nods her head, "Right. Just book an appointment with my secretary at the front desk, he'll have a standard pregnancy packet for you, we always keep a bunch on hand."

We say our goodbyes, book the appointment, and warp home… right from the waiting room.