Chapter 2 – Existential Crisis!
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5/21/2024 Edit: Minor changes to correspond with the edits on Chapter 1.

Now then, credit where credit is due. For my magic system, I took some “inspiration” from several series, including:

For Alysara, I wanted to borrow the concept of “Bonds” (as well as several other mechanics), so did I ask Comiak for permission before using them. However, aside from a few names, the inspiration from the rest of the series is not as obvious.

If you haven’t read any of these, I highly recommend them. They are all excellent stories. Ahem, just make sure you read mine first, or follow so you can read it later.

Setting that aside, a portion of the chapter involves Earth, but it’s not a lot. It’s just so Chara can hand out blame get some closure. Now, on to the chapter!

After what felt like an eternity, Chara started to regain consciousness, but her body felt… numb? For some reason, she couldn’t feel her arms or legs. In fact, she couldn’t feel anything at all.

Urgg… Where am I?

Her mind felt like it was surrounded by a thick fog. It was as though she were dreaming.

Wh-What’s going on…?

She tried to open her eyes, but nothing happened. Only darkness.

Huh?

There was no physical sensation of opening her eyelids, no apparent vision, no feedback whatsoever.

Confused, she tried to move her arm, but nothing happened this time either.

Eh?

Nothing happened. She didn’t feel a thing. It was as if she had only imagined curling up her arm but decided not to do it.

Finally awake from her stupor, Chara was starting to get a bad premonition.

She tried to look at her surroundings, but there was nothing there. She tried to focus on her surroundings, but this only conjured up a mysterious dream-like fog, as if she’d been stuck in clouds.

Where am I?

She called out, or at least tried to, but no sound escaped from her mouth. Her unsaid words echoed quietly inside her consciousness, as if trapped within the confines of her mind.

What’s wrong with my body? Eh? Uwaaaaaaaaaa!

Chara intended to scream, but there was silence. She tried to move her arms, but nothing happened. She tried to kick her legs, but nothing happened.

This isn’t right! Why can’t I feel anything? This isn’t possible! What is happening to me…? Why can’t I do anything?

It was like she was a consciousness floating in space.

Could— Could it be that I don’t have a body!? Did I turn into a ghost!? Chara desperately hoped she was wrong, but with the concrete lack of anything, she couldn’t help but assume the worst.

She tried to feel around with her body, but nothing happened. She tried reaching out with her mind, but all that entered her senses was more fog. She tried moving around imaginary objects, but aside from a bit of swirling, nothing happened.

Panic set in as her persistent attempts were met with repeated failures. Deprived of all her options, Chara decided to retrace her steps to see if she could find any clues. As she concentrated on her memories, little by little, a scene started to take shape inside her head.

I remember… I was in a hospital, talking with someone…

It was my friend, Melody…

Melody had come to visit because I was very unlucky and pitiful…

She was cheeky and disrespectful, but also kind…

Then, she brought out some fruit. It was very delicious…

And then……

As she remembered the scene of her eating the apple, her mind started to boil. All of a sudden, her mind was flooded with a torrent of feelings. Anger, sadness, and unwillingness.

The world was really unfair. One week, she was a healthy girl with a future filled with promise. By the next one, she was a destitute cripple, destined for a life full of hardship and misery. Her head hurt so badly that she immediately tried to bury what she just remembered.

Despite her sadness, she tried her best to analyze the situation.

Now that I think about it, I didn't realize it until later but… I remember feeling very itchy and my mouth going numb. Once I swallowed, my throat closed up and I couldn’t breathe anymore…

Wait, isn’t that… Did I get an allergic reaction?

Chara was in disbelief. She was not allergic to apples!

Feeling like this could not fully explain her sudden accident, she tried to consider other factors.

Now that I think about it, I had been on a liquid food diet for days. They even made me drink so much horrendous medicine…

Supposedly, this treatment was intended to make the surgery less complicated, increasing the chance of success, but it still failed in the end…

Could it be that my problem originates from here…?

Chara ruminated on this idea before soon abandoning it. After all, she didn’t know the first thing about medicine. When all is said and done, the most crucial takeaway is that she was likely dead.

Upon this realization, Chara was overwhelmed by a profound sense of sadness.

As the weight of her situation sank in, Chara began to think about all the things she would miss from Earth. She thought of the simple pleasures first. The taste of her favorite foods, like a perfectly ripe strawberry, a slice of hot, cheesy pizza, or a blow of vanilla ice cream.

Then, she thought about the digital world, the internet, with its vast repository of knowledge and endless entertainment. She reminisced about the hours spent immersed in video games, losing herself in fantastical worlds where she could be anyone and do anything.

But above all, Chara missed the people, her friends, and her family.

Dad…

 

***

 

An unknown period of time later, Chara finally pulled herself out of her reminiscence. Although she was still mourning her loss, what was done couldn’t be undone, and it was painfully clear to her that she was likely dead. But if that were the case, it raised the question: if she had died, where was she now? What was she?

She attempted to observe her surroundings, but there was nothing to see. It felt as if the environment was shrouded in a dense, tangible darkness, akin to a fog.

It’s so dark. I can’t see, and I can’t touch. I can’t feel my body or hear my voice. It feels like I don’t even have a body… she thought. It was as though her consciousness was detached from a physical form.

It was at this point that Chara’s thoughts took a turn for the worse.

Assuming Chara died in that hospital, where am I? What am I? Do I even exist?

As she tried and failed to look around, she ended up putting way more thought and consideration into these questions than she was willing to admit. Currently, she was surrounded by darkness so deep, that even if she was spinning in circles, she wouldn’t have noticed. The only thing that was constant was an indistinct fog that felt like it was clouding her senses.

Is… Is this reality…? Could this be a dream…? Am I really conscious …Or is everything part of my imagination?

In a state of great confusion, Chara was starting to lose her grip on reality and doubt her own existence. Although she wouldn’t find out until later, right now, she was in an extremely delicate situation and at risk of disappearing entirely.

 

***

 

Meanwhile, the council of Chara was having their own all-hands-on-deck meeting. Hundreds of imaginary Chibi versions of herself were sitting in a council room holding a very important discussion. The acting chairwoman mini-Chara who was in charge of directing the meeting was already starting to get dizzy from all the twists and turns in the discussion.

“Aren’t you all panicking a bit too much? We could just be in a coma.”

The surrounding mini-Charas audibly gasped.

“I’d rather be DEAD than spend another millisecond on a hospital bed!” shouted the mini-Chara representative in charge of the outdoors faction that had been steadily gaining popularity.

Many of the mini-Charas nodded to show their support.

“What if when we were in the hospital; an evil scientist turned us into AI!” shouted the mini-Chara in charge of using R*ddit.

“““AI!??!!?!?”””

Dozens of mini-Charas cried out in outrage and horror with a couple of them fainting from fright.

Suddenly, one of the mini-Charas gracefully leaped onto a desk, immediately gathering everyone’s attention. Once she was up on her pedestal, she washed over the entire council room with her gaze while letting out a laugh full of derision as if to make sure all the other council members knew she was looking down on them.

“Tsk. Tsk. Are all of you stupid? How can we be an AI if we aren’t even artificial?! Do these mommies look artificial to you?” said the mini-Chara in charge of using Tw*tter “X” in a mocking tone while pushing up her breasts with one arm and wiggling her right index finger.

The acting chairwoman: …

The rest of the mini-Charas: …

After a long moment of dead silence, the doors burst open, and two mini-Charas dressed up as security guards burst into the council room. After the two security guards chased Tw*tter-in-charge around a desk like a child, they dragged her outside the council room while kicking and screaming.

Peace had returned to the council room and justice had been served.

Meanwhile, the mini-Chara acting as chairwoman lowered her head with anger and helplessness. She clenched her tiny fists as if she was the one who had to bear with all the world’s many injustices. Just when it looked like all hope was lost, and the acting chairwoman was ready to declare the verdict that they might not exist; a pair of murmurs traveled across the silent council room.

“Hold on a second. How can we be a figment of our own imagination?”

“That would presume we exist! But if we are not real, then what are we?”

“Who was that?” said the mini-Chara acting as chairwoman with slight hope in her eyes.

It was then that the pair of mini-Charas in charge of watching YouT*be videos at 3 am raised their hands nervously. All the other council members including the chairwoman swiveled their heads in their direction.

“Uwaa! Ah-hum… I… I think it was in a YouT*be video about philosophy. ‘I think, therefore I am,’ if I remember correctly…” said one of the two girls with spirals spinning in her eyes from all the sudden attention.

Although the pair of mini-Charas didn’t remember the specifics like who came up with the proposal, they knew that there was a philosophical argument that argued that the ability to think was proof of existence. After all, it’s impossible to doubt one’s ability to think because the act of doing so requires one to think. And so, the existence of oneself is not dependent on the existence of a physical body or anything else.

The mini-Chara acting as chairwoman happily announced the verdict of the discussion.

“We Exist! We exist one hundred percent!”

““““CHEERS!””””

The council room burst into cheers and everyone in attendance popped open bottles of dopamine that they pulled out from somewhere for a celebration. It was in such a festive atmosphere that one of the younger council members decided to pour cold water on everyone’s enthusiasm.

“Ah umm… if we exist, then why can’t we see anything?”

““““““………………””””””

All the mini-Charas in the council room glared at her.

The chairwoman snapped her fingers. Without warning, the doors to the council room burst open once again and two security guards came storming in, except for some reason; this time they were holding kitchen pans.

“Uwaaaaaaaaaaa!”

She was never seen again.

 

***

 

Having concluded her group therapy session for a party of one, Chara finally calmed down and let out an internal sigh of relief.

Normally existing was something that people took for granted, but she was starting to get delirious from the lack of stimulation. At this point, she was cherishing every form of validation she could get.

Assuming I’m real, what am I?

Chara continued to ponder over this question for quite some time.

As she explored her new existence, she realized that her identity was not tied solely to her physical form. It was a part of her personal history and experiences, shaping her essence. In this intangible realm where she had nothing to lose except herself, Chara’s memories became her anchor. It was as though her thoughts, emotions, and memories became her identity.

Even without a physical body or any other identifying characteristics, Chara found pride in simply being herself. Although she wasn’t aware, as she focused more on her memories to reaffirm her self-identity and existence, something inside of her started to change, for better and for worse.

Eventually, her mind started to wander again, and she couldn’t help but wonder if she might be going insane.

It’s okay, the brain loses around 10,000 neurons every day. That mini-Chara was just especially unlucky. Also, there is only one Tw*tter “X” brain cell. Now it is gone.

If you like the story, make sure to add it your reading list. It gives me strong encouragement.

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