The cultivators still gathered in the large hall of Lotus Pier, looked on in shock as white smoke seemed to fill the air, coming from Lan Wangji's direction but even Lan Wangji seemed perplexed. The white smoke started to shape a figure and solidify into a physical form.
Gasps echoed around the room once they could finally see the figure and their face.
He was beautiful, carrying a noble and majestic aura. His eyes were downcast, showcasing long eyelashes. He seemed like a beautiful ice sculpture that came to life with humanoid flesh. He opened his eyes slowly and took his time looking around the room before turning to Lan Wangji, the person he was standing next to and gave a soft smile.
"It's so good to finally meet you and speak to you, little brother, and you as well A-Huan. My dear little brothers."
Little brothers??? What????!
Lan Wangji's eyes widened before growing hard. The figure chuckled. "Ah, as to be expected."
"Ah, I'm sorry…?" Lan Xichen had a bewildered, strained smile.
"My apologies, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Lan Xuan. I know you would find it difficult to trust someone you've just met, but I've been by your side the whole time."
"That's Blasphemy! We do not know you and you are not a part of the Lan Sect. You are an imposter, how dare you!" Lan Qiren spoke angrily.
Lan Xuan dropped his smile, becoming serious. "Uncle… of course you don't remember me." Lan Xuan's expression turned sad and he smiled bitterly.
Lan Xuan sighed, and slowly raised his hand. "Allow me to show you the truth from my own memories if you doubt my words."
Towards the round sphere of resentful energy in the room that had been showing Wei Wuxian's memories before they took a small break to breathe and take it all in, Lan Xuan sent a tendril of white smokey energy to form and show his own memories.
30[ish] years ago (?) (Lan Xuan's memories)
"Lan Xuan, come sit by your mother."
Lan Xuan was just brought to his mothers house by his Uncle Qiren, who refuses to open the door and leaves the moment Lan Xuan is inside.
His mother was beautiful as always in her white robes. He didn't understand why she never left and stayed stuck in this place. He was only allowed to visit her twice a month. Once at the beginning and near the end. They would chat about anything, everything except his studies and why she never left her house.
Lan Xuan would cuddle with her and sometimes create origami or draw and talk about the cool places she had seen once and sometimes he would just sit in her arms and she would brush his hair and card her fingers through it and allow him to do the same to her. Or they would sit by the window and watch the outside world together in peace.
He hated how she seemed, like a beautiful bird locked away in a cage. But his mother didn't seem to mind. She never complained. She was always smiling and teasing him.
He shuffled close to her and sat by her side, and leaned into her warm embrace when he opened she wrapped her arms around him. He breathed in her flowery scent as he nestled in her embrace before pulling away.
"My sweet boy," She chuckled. Lan Xuan's cheeks flushed, stubbornly turned away from her.
She teased him and made paper cranes with him and would hum songs and sing to him.
A knock sounded at the door. "Ah, they are here with our meals." She got up and answered the door. He peeked around her to stare at the person and their eyes locked. Lan Xuan flinched at the cold disdain in his eyes. He recognized the Lan Elder as one who speaks with one of his teachers (the teacher that didn't seem to like his mother and would mutter rude things under his breath if he passed by Lan Xuan) and whenever that teacher looked at him, it made him uneasy. This Lan Elder and that teacher seemed like close friends and he didn't trust them.
He didn't tell his mother how one of his teachers said things and gave him strange looks and talked bad about his mother when it was just Lan Xuan or only when he would hear it. He didn't want to trouble his mother or his Uncle Qiren, so he bore their distaste and disdain toward him and his mother quietly.
He didn't like this Lan Elder, or that teacher. They were quite mean when no one was around, always speaking ill of others even when it's against the rules.
Lan Xuan didn't know why, but he felt very uneasy right now, like his gut was telling him something.
The Lan Elder before him, who works in the kitchen, his eyes were watching him coldly, but when the man's eyes turned back to his mother, it was so brief he might have missed it but he caught the look. It was hatred. He'd only seen eyes like that from that teacher.
He watched his mother take the tray with a smile and thank him before closing the door. When his mother sat back down at her table, he stared worriedly at the door, getting a bad vibe that something was very wrong.
It was getting late as he had seen outside the door. Soon his uncle would come to take him back to his room.
Lan Xuan sat back down with his mother who was setting down the dishes of food, preparing to eat it. He had eaten just before coming to see his mother so he wasn't hungry.
His mother was pregnant with his baby brother. Her belly was protruding quite a bit. He wanted to meet this baby brother of his and be the best big brother he could be.
He had a feeling though as he watched his mother bring the food up to her mouth, recalling that fleeting expression of the Lan Elder… "Wait! Mother, can I have a bite of yours?" He asked, scooting closer to her, his stomach in knots. Something wasn't right!
She blinked at him, before smiling at him. "Of course, sweet boy, come here." She brought the food toward his mouth, and his heart spiked in fear of something unknown. He opened his mouth to take the bite she offered and swallowed after chewing thoroughly.
After a moment, he waited and nothing happened. However, just when he was about to relax, he started feeling terribly sick and a terrible agonizing pain started to eat through him.
Dread pooled in his small stomach, and quickly shouted at his mother before she went to take a bite of the food. "The food is poisoned, Mother! Don't eat it!"
He whimpered. It hurt. It hurt.
Blood was everywhere.
He puked up blood, curling into a fetal position as his mother cried out for help and tried to soothe and comfort him.
He coughed, covering his mouth with his hands as more blood spewed out from his lips. The coughs came again in quick succession and violently, shaking his body with such force he collapsed on his knees, back hunched as he continued to cough and more blood flowed out. His hair turned snow white from root to the ends, from overwhelming stress and pain tearing through his body and the poison spreading through him.
His mother had frozen and stared at him with wide eyes, "Lan Xuan?" She shoved the food away from them and rushed to his side, wanting to hug him but afraid to cause him pain.
He opened his mouth to call out to her, but he could not stop coughing and spitting up blood. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he wanted to scream from the agonizing pain ravaging through his body but his voice seemed to be trapped inside him and unable to vocalize his pain and he wanted to cry out for his mother.
She slowly pulled him into her arms as gently as possible and ran her fingers through his hair softly. She kept speaking to him and humming a song to soothe him as best as she could. He could feel his mother's fear and see the blame already forming in her eyes.
Lan Xuan wanted to tell her it wasn't her fault but only his ragged breathing, and coughs escaped his mouth, blood dripping down his chin.
"My sweet child, my son! I'm here, I'm here. Mother is here. Someone! Help! Help me! I need help! My Lan Xuan!" She screamed for help, not caring for the sect's rules of not shouting in Cloud Recesses when her son was dying in her arms.
Lan Xuan distantly heard footsteps and his mother’s door burst open with a bang.
"What is it? What's wrong?!" Lan Qiren spoke, sounding out of breath and he saw what was wrong, and tried to shield his brother from the sight,, his brother who had rushed out of his seclusion after hearing his wife's screams and followed behind him.
They both stared in horror, fear in their eyes. There were distant voices coming closer. The healers.
Lan Xuan tried to look at them but he kept coughing and spitting up blood and tears fell from his eyes from the pain he was unable to voice. He weakly clutched at his mother's robes, feeling guilty for tainting them with his blood but his limbs grew numb and unresponsive to him and falling down limply at his sides.
"What happened?"
His mother stared up at them, crying and holding him close, her tears mixing with his own as they fell onto his face. "It was me. It was my fault. Someone… tried to poison me. Lan Xuan, the sweet and bright boy that he is, knew somehow that something was wrong and I did not suspect a thing! He asked to have a bite of my meal and I just wanted to indulge him… I… he did it to save me and Lan Huan, his little brother," She whispered, using one hand to hug her stomach and the other to embrace Lan Xuan tightly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. My child..." She weeped sorrowfully, kissing his forehead.
Lan Qiren spun around and snapped at the healers as they arrived to hurry and help Lan Xuan.
They didn't waste time. The poison was not common and very deadly. There was no true name for it yet and no cure. They at least tried to ease some of his pain but there was nothing else they could do. They quickly made their leave to give the family time for themselves.
Lan Xuan saw his mother shake her head in denial. "No, no! There must be something! Qiren, please!" She looked at him desperately and then her husband. Neither spoke. Lan Qiren closed his eyes, sorrow etched into his expression. As much as Lan Qiren blamed her for what happened with his brother and disliked immensely for the crime she commited, she was still his brother's wife and mother of his nephew, and he cared for his nephew as much as she and his brother did but there was nothing any of them could do…
Qingheng-Jun came closer and knelt by his son's side, immense grief in his eyes as he reached out to gently trace his child's face. Lan Xuan stared at his father, pain in his eyes at the agony he felt and the pain he was causing his family.
He tried to speak past the whimpers and whines escaping his throat, past his labored breathing and coughing. His body felt paralyzed and numb to where he couldn't lift his limbs and try to reach out to his mother, father, and his uncle and tell them it was okay.
But inside - he was also scared, so scared and in pain but he was making his family suffer enough. He couldn't let them know how scared he was as he tried to be brave as he did when he saved his mother from eating the poison and saving his unborn baby brother.
He wanted to reassure them… he wanted…
Another round of coughing escaped him, gradually getting worse and he felt numb and yet all nerves were in so much pain and he couldn't stop spitting and throwing up blood. His mother had to turn him so he didn't choke on his own blood and continuously cleaned his face.
'I'm scared… I don't want to die yet. I wanted to be able to see mother and father for a long time and see Uncle Qiren. I wanted to meet my little brother. I don't want to die… but… I am glad I was able to save my mother and protect my baby brother. '
His mother and father were already inconsolable and trying to be close to him and comfort him and his Uncle stood alone in the back. He saw the shoulders that were normally straightened, slightly slumped and his Uncle's expression was… so sad.
Lan Xuan has heard of his mothers crime in the sect and does not know why she did it but his mother was always gentle and kind in his eyes. He knew there was tension in his family because of what his mother had done...but for the first time… he got to see all three of his precious family members all together in the same room, even though his circumstances were not good at all.
They were here for him, because they loved him.
It was getting harder to breathe but he found that the pain was gone, that he could no longer feel pain ravaging his body, and he could taste the blood in his mouth.
He tried to speak, knowing it wouldn't really work, but he really wanted to see the outside. It was winter and cold but it was still beautiful and he loved winter, not to mention he was born in winter.
"What is it, my sweet boy?" His mother spoke gently and his father looked at him. He tried to show them, using his eyes. Outside.
I want to see the outside.
"He wishes to see the outside." His Uncle Qiren spoke again, finally, and had understood what he wanted. Lan Xuan wanted to smile and tried to, and his mother simply cried harder but held him close and she slowly stood up.
"Let's go then." She looked at his father and held Lan Xuan out to him. He heard his fathers shuddering breath and was suddenly wrapped in his fathers big, warm, strong arms. They walked side by side and Lan Qiren followed them out to the sheltered porch. Lan Qiren stayed standing in the back and Lan Xuan wished he'd come closer but he didn't have the energy or breath to ask him since he struggled to breathe. His mother and father sat down on both sides of him and soothed and comforted him.
Lan Xuan was tired and content to watch the snow fall from the sky and see the untouched snow that had already begun to blanket the ground in pure white.
The snow flakes kissed his cheeks and he closed his eyes. He smiled a small smile, he no longer felt completely paralyzed but was still feeling kind of numb but without no the pain, which was nice.
Lan Xuan reached out with a hand, opening his eyes to gaze up at his parents and gift them with his smile, and gently pat their cheeks with his hand.
It's alright. It's alright now.
He looked over at his Uncle Qiren, who noticed and let out a heavy sigh but he still came forward anyway. His Uncle bent down toward him, his usually stern expression soft and his eyes held a gentle light with a deep sadness. He reached out and also patted his cheek with a smile.
His Uncle made a huff but allowed it. Lan Xuan put down his hand and laid in his parents arms, his uncle now standing closer to them and while his mother and father hummed and spoke to him in soft tones, they all watched the snow fall from a gray sky from their porch.
Lan Xuan's eyes drooped, he struggled to keep them open and watched the snow fall for a bit longer but he was so tired. His breath was shallow and his eyes kept trying to close as his vision started to see black spots and gradually grow dark. He reached out a hand, wanting to feel the snowflakes more but he couldn't hold his hand up and it dropped limply in his lap. He felt his mother and father gently brush fingers through his hair and trace his cheeks.
Lan Xuan sighed, allowing his eyes to finally close and he stopped fighting as he felt death draw even nearer and let go.
The darkness slowly pulled him further away until he knew nothing and felt nothing at all.
☆
☆
☆
Madam Lan froze when Lan Xuan's chest stopped rising and he became too still and limp in her and Qingheng-Jun's arms. Lan Xuan's eyes were closed. She trembled, tears falling faster as Qingheng-Jun wrapped fingers around his son's wrist and felt for his pulse.
There wasn't one. Lan Xuan's heart had stopped.
Qingheng-Jun choked out a silent mournful cry. And Madam Lan wailed brokenly into Lan Xuan's unmoving chest.
Lan Xuan was gone.
He was gone.
Lan Qiren closed his eyes, bowing his head. A tear fell from his eyes and he said nothing as his brother and his wife continued to cry.
The snow continued to fall.
☆
☆
☆
Lan Xuan watched over his family, sometimes up close and sometimes from afar.
He was thrilled he got to see his baby brother! Lan Huan!
He spent time going back and forth between his mother and father, spending time with them and watching over them. He sometimes even followed his Uncle Qiren around.
He would watch Lan Huan play and wished he could play with him too. He later got to meet his new baby brother Lan Wangji and he was even more happy.
Lan Xuan was also sad and angry because his mother and father didn't speak to Lan Huan about him or mention him, because they had forgotten. They all had forgotten about him, thanks to his teacher and the other man that wasn't so nice that tried to murder his mother.
They used forbidden Lan songs and made them all forget he ever existed so they could get away with their crime and not be punished. Lan Qiren and other members had tried to find the culprits before then, but were unable to and stopped looking when they were forced to forget.
Lan Xuan was all alone now and no one even remembered his existence. The ones that caused his death, even had his name erased.
Lan Xuan could do nothing about it. Many times he tried to get someone's attention, his mother or brothers and let them know he was still here, that he had existed and still did. He tried to find ways to interact with his family but it took a lot out of him and was never truly successful.
And then mother died. Lan Xuan cried, but had no real tears. He met his mother's spirit but she still didn't remember him. She passed on and he chose to stay behind.
He watched A-Zhan struggle to understand and cope with their mother’s death. A-Zhan would kneel for hours throughout the season, waiting for mother to return and open the door for him. But she was truly gone. Lan Xuan struggled too and he tried to be there for both of them and Lan Xuan tried to be there for A-Zhan but it was hard on both of them.
Lan Xuan watched his little A-Zhan, Lan Wangji, from a distance, as he knelt once more, waiting for their mother who wasn't coming back.
He watched a stray tear fall from his baby brother's eyes and sighed, noticing the small hand, twisted and trembling as Lan Wangji gripped his robes. Lan Xuan strode forward till he was behind Lan Wangji and he spun around abruptly, now back to back and Lan Xuan sat down, though they could not touch, just as he had done many times before. "You may not see me, nor hear me, you are not aware of my existence at this time, but I am here. I am here, and I will never leave you, baby brother. Never."
He wanted to stay by A-Zhan’s side and watch over him. When it came time for A-Zhan’s Zither to be made, he made a decision. And what made it even more special was that, the Zither being created for Lan Wangji had once belonged to their mother, who had a Zither, one of the few possessions she was allowed to keep. Her Zither also had a spirit and when she died, the spirit of the Zither died and the Zither cracked, breaking into pieces.
Those same pieces that once made up their mothers Zither, with the same materials-were now being used to create Lan Wangji's Zither and Lan Xuan would bind his soul to it.
Lan Xuan smiled, at least like this, he can be with them and help them.
That was all he had ever wanted and now, he finally could.
"Oh my! Such a terrible thing happened at Cloud Recesses! The poor boy! And they didn't even remember him!" Someone exclaimed.
Many voices spoke out at once, the room became full of disbelief and noise. Lan Xuan smiled patiently but didn't speak at this time.
He looked at Yanling Daoren and Suibian, who nodded to him and Suibian had a welcoming smile.
"That… it can't be!" Lan Qiren's voice shook, but something in his heart was telling him it was the truth. How could he have allowed that to even happen?! How could they not find the ones responsible? They got away with a serious crime in their sect and went even further, to erase all their memories! How..how!
Lan Qiren felt to have aged even more in just this moment. He truly had made quite a few mistakes.
Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji just gazed up at Lan Xuan with wide, shocked eyes that were full of complex emotions.
"We… have an elder brother?" Lan Xichen murmured, eyes wide with shock and hope and fear, many emotions swirling in his chest.
Lan Wangji worriedly looked at Lan Xichen.
Lan Qiren was muttering, "No, no, that can't be! I would have-"
Lan Qiren gasped as some old memories resurfaced, finally connecting the dots.
…..
Lan Qiren stood in the dim light of his room, staring at a small painting that he seemed to have held onto for quite some time but couldn't remember why or who was in the painting. The face of the figure was blotted out. He felt this painting was important to him, but why? Who was this small nameless figure whose face could not be seen?
He carefully placed it inside his robes, tucking it close. He would try and figure out the mystery of this figure and find out who he was to him.
(He tried countless times with no real success)
Lan Qiren had been walking through Caiyi town and his eyes caught something. An Origami. A thought passed through his mind.
'He loved Origami. And he loved to draw and paint. I will buy these for him. And a flute until we craft one for him, he loves the flute.' Lan Qiren put away the things he bought in the moment and paused. 'He? Who was I just thinking about? I could not make out the figure's face. It was not Lan Xichen. Who could it be? Why could I not see the figure's face?'
Lan Qiren felt something was off, there was something important he had forgotten and it disturbed him. Something wasn't right!
What was it?! And the more Lan Qiren tried to remember, his head started to hurt.
Sometimes, Lan Qiren would set two places at his table, one for himself and one for someone else. He did it subconsciously, without thinking, expecting to see a small figure waiting for him with a smile, and he could even hear the fading memory of a child's bright voice speaking to him, telling Lan Qiren that he shouldn't have to eat his meal alone all the time.
And then there were other moments, where in his peripheral vision, he sees a small figure playing while in the room with him and Lan Qiren sighed, turning to gently but firmly scold them for making a mess but stops because he realizes there is no one there.
….
Lan Qiren blinks, a shiny film covering his eyes but he refuses to acknowledge it. And then,, as if a dam has broken inside him, more memories suddenly flowed free after he recalled all those times when he seemed to make room for someone who was there and bought things and couldn't understand why he kept setting a place at his table when there was no one there and Lan Xichen has been too small and Lan Wangji had not yet been born, but it continued even after, when he was alone that he...always seems to be looking for someone or expecting to see a small figure near him.
Lan Xuan… it was Lan Xuan.
Lan Qiren paled. He remembered.
He remembered!
Lan Qiren slowly stood up and faced Lan Xuan, whose gaze was calm and gentle, understanding. Lan Qiren's hands trembled slightly.
"You remembered," Lan Xuan's melodic, smooth voice spoke softly. "It's good to meet you again, Uncle."
Lan Qiren walked toward him slowly and Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji watched with wide shining eyes, because they had never seen their Uncle like this.
Lan Xuan stood where he was, patient and waiting with a gentle smile. His Uncle came to a stop a foot away from him and he could see the trembling of his shoulders. His Uncle was never big on physical affection and never took initiative to initiate it. Lan Xuan stepped a few more inches forward and reached out an open palm - waiting for his uncle to take that step.
He'd been watching them all the whole time and knew how his Uncle was and he had been angry when Yanling Daoren and Suibian had the nerve to scold his Uncle, but they were not entirely wrong - his uncle was not infallible. But he knew under that severe strict manner, the man still had a heart, a heart that was old, worn, and bruised and yet still so strong.
Lan Xuan's Uncle has always clung tightly to rules of Gusu Lan because he knew them best and they were easier to understand. Though even so, even though in a way, he understood his Uncle's position - he could not forgive his Uncle for such a severe punishment he inflicted on Lan Wangji because he defended Wei Wuxian, who as they all have learned is not the heinous villain they keep trying to make him out to be. There is generally always more to things than what meets the eyes on the surface. Things are not always clean cut to be white and black. Lan Xuan even agreed with his baby brother, that there was something more going on with Young Master Wei, he had seen how kind the other was and how he was brave and courageous and a bit arrogant and young hehe was.
Wei Wuxian had always been free spirited and playful and had a big heart. Wei Wuxian had been like a free bird soaring the skies, before the burning of Lotus Pier and tragedies that followed. And Lan Xuan had been watching Wei Wuxian's memories beside them silently and he now understood even more than he did back then. Lan Xuan, like Lan Xichen had in the beginning, still supported Lan Wangji with Wei Wuxian, he only wished his brother didn't have to have his heart broken by the loss of Wei Wuxian.
However, Lan Xuan quickly glanced at Sect Leader Jiang Wanyin before looking away. He knew the secret he hid in Lotus Pier. Just maybe...somehow he could help his brother get a happy ending after all...but first there would most likely be more pain to come before then. Wei Wuxian had suffered a great deal on his end, from the fall of Lotus Pier and up to his death, which Lan Xuan suspected was a suicide. Wei Wuxian always seemed to brush his own pain off when it was serious and liked to always smile, being cheerful and teasing. If there was a possibility he could help bring him back.. Wei Wuxian would go back to resuming to refusing to dwell on the past and bury it and smile, laughing it off.
Lan Xuan sighed at the thought.
When Lan Wangji had been suffering through healing from the whip lashes, he would sing and hum lullabies that their mother would sing to him while he slept fitfully. He had been torn upon staying with Lan Wangji and checking on Lan Xichen and his Uncle and would go to check on them briefly and stay for a few moments before rushing back to Lan Wangji's side.
Lan Xuan remembered before his death, his uncle had always been strict and there had been tension in their family, and it got much worse after he died and they forgot about him, and his uncle became more closed off and more strict and not as tolerant and understanding as he used to be.
He knew in his own way, Uncle suffered a lot. It doesn't excuse his own attitude at times and his words or his judgements that were merely from rumors and things only on the surface. His Uncle was definitely not infallible, it didn't matter that he was a cultivator, he was still inherently human, and humans make mistakes.
Lan Xuan still held out his hand, kept his smile as his Uncle tried to pull himself together. His Uncle lifted a hand and finally reached out and gripped Lan Xuan's hand tightly. He could see the wet sheen of his Uncle's eyes and didn't comment on it.
Lan Qiren gripped his eldest nephew's hand, hoping to convey what he was feeling.
Lan Xuan dipped his head in a slight nod and that small smile.
He understood. Lan Qiren exhaled with a shaky breath and closed his eyes.
The cultivators in the room had gone silent and stared at them.
Lan Xichen got to his feet without thinking and slowly came closer to them, and Lan Wangji followed his cue.
Lan Qiren turned to Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji, "WangJi, XiChen, this is Lan Xuan, your elder brother. He is who he says he is...I have finally remembered. And I know the people responsible for Lan Xuan's death." Lan Qiren's expression became hard and cold.
"It's alright, Uncle, that can wait." Lan Xuan spoke reassuringly. The culprits responsible were still at Cloud Recesses. They had not come with those from their sect that had decided to come and witness the memory viewing. Perhaps it was better this way.
They were not aware that the truth - was finally out.
Lan Xuan wanted to repay them in kind and sometimes certain methods, and even death is far too kind and merciful for the likes of people such as those two, who allowed their hatred to rule over them.
Lan Xuan had watched them over the years as well. He saw how they truly were. They didn't even feel remorse over the fact that they killed a child, because he was not their intended target and so they used his death to blame his mother some more but never attempted to kill her again because they didn't want to get caught and be punished like cowards.
No, his mother had died from some untold illness, or that's what everyone else was told. No one truly knew the truth.
No one but Lan Xuan. Not even his Uncle knew or younger brothers.
She died from the illness she contracted from grief that never went away, even if she didn't remember who she was grieving for, she knew something was wrong and her health dwindled and before never really minded not being able to step a foot outside.
Her health took a turn for the worst, and she died of a broken heart.
Lan Xuan had been with her the day she died, watching over her and had watched her health get worse and there was nothing he could do but watch her die.
All he could do, all he wanted more than anything then, was to be with his family, be with his brothers and look out for them as best as he could.
And now… they could finally see him.
He took a moment to study both of his brother's, who kept staring at him, their emotions were no doubt all over the place. He itched to hug them. But...considering how they ended up being raised, they didn't get much physical affection, except when mother had been alive and they only got to see her once a month. Lan Xuan had gotten to see her twice a month, a third time in secret sometimes which his uncle had actually allowed back then.
Uncle Qiren wasn't huge on physical affection...and their father when he had been alive hadn't been either, all the way up until his death due to the Wens attacking Cloud Recesses.
Lan Xuan loved physical affection, and he wasn't overboard about it. It was part of his love language to those he loved, that were a part of his family, his 'life'. But most of his 'life', after he died, he was unseen and no one ever heard his voice. It made him want to hug them even more but he had to show distance and patience, because they were not ready for that and this was all sudden and overwhelming. They needed time to get to know him and let the knowledge sink in.
It felt good to finally show himself and be seen.
Lan Xuan also took in all the eyes currently staring at him, and he took no notice of the lecherous, depraved and shamed Jin Sect Leader on the ground who was also looking at him with lustful eyes, and who looked terrible from Yanling Daoren and Suibian’s anger from before.
Lan Xuan also wanted to teach him a valuable lesson, but it would have to wait.
Lan Xuan waited while the room settled down and his eyes caught Jin Guangyao's. Lan Xuan's eyes narrowed just slightly as anger rose in him.
Lan Xuan focused on Jin Guangyao. "Do you still intend to scheme for the sake of your fathers attention? You know it will get you nowhere, and he won't be alive much longer. And you dare use my brother and manipulate him into helping your schemes unknowingly at that, because you were already planning ahead - isn't that right?"
Lan Xuan walked toward Jin Guangyao, robes fluttering with movement. "Allow me to make myself very, very clear. If you ever, and I mean ever pull any conniving stunts, I will personally dispose of your existence. And it will be in the slowest and inconceivably excruciating thing you could never even possibly imagine. Do you understand me?"
Everyone in the room went very still. Chenqing and Suibian didn't feel any less terrifying, though, with Lan Xuan, he was like the embodiment of winter, made of ice. The air in the room truly did turn much, much colder to the point where they could see their breaths and even with their golden cores, it was hard for them to feel warmth as the temperature seemed to have dropped so low. There was thin ice spread like spider webs from beneath Lan Xuan feet as he stared at Jin Guangyao.
Lan Xuan lifted one hand and ice droplets formed in the air, shaping like flower petals and circled around it as he twirled his fingers.
"Lingchi is a thousand cuts by a sword. Imagine what a thousand petals and more could do. And not only that, but to also melt and seep into the open wounds and slowly force you to freeze to death from the inside out. And I have excellent control over my abilities and I can drag it on for however long I wish. However, that is only one method of many I'm sure I can think of and put to good use." Lan Xuan spoke softly and gently patted the other's shoulders, with a gentle smile on his face, though you could feel the frost emanating from him.
"Cross me, and I will show you the true meaning of fear." Lan Xuan spoke in a matter-of-fact like tone, though his voice was still gentle and soft and he never raised his voice. Not even once and even when he promised violence, if anyone should dare go against him to hurt those he cares for, it was all with that smile on his face.
A few cultivators shuddered as chills erupted along their body, and they warily retreated as far away from him as possible, watching with wide eyes. They did not want to cross him.
Lan Xuan casually turned from Jin Guangyao and walked away, flicking away the twirling ice petals with his fingers and letting them evaporate and the ice beneath his feet slowly receded along with his footsteps as he rejoined his brother's.
....
Lan Xichen was shocked and surprised, and warmth filled his chest. He trusted A-Yao, and yet as everything kept slowly being revealed, he started to feel sad and disappointed. Lan Xichen had also never seen anyone defend him so vehemently, for the sake of protecting him.
(Lan Xichen felt heartbroken and betrayed after learning that A-Yao had been trying to use him...someone he believed in and trusted… used him.)
Nie Mingjue felt rage rise within him and wanted to charge forwards and wrap his hands around Jin Guangyao's throat but Nie Huaisang clutched at his arm and held him back.
Lam Xichen… knew Lan Xuan was angry on his behalf, wanting to protect him. Just like Elder brothers do for their younger siblings. And Lan Xuan didn't hesitate. Lan Xichen felt a bit awed. He looked at Wangji beside him and chuckled. He seemed to be feeling somewhat the same thing. It would not be instant or simple...but they had a family member they never knew about and he had been by their side the whole time. Slowly, Lan Xichen felt hope that could bridge the gap between them.
Lan Xichen also had more...negative feelings, and being reminded of them as well... he... Well, he just had to push them down for now and later...he would... he would talk with Lan Xuan and see where it would take them (and maybe he could finally unload all his pent up feelings and the thought he may have failed Lan Wangji and not have been a good older brother). Lan Xichen didn't know what was on Wangji’s mind either but when they had time and were alone, would they talk.
That talk would have to wait.
…
"Chenqing and Suibian have also made it clear so far and even the memory viewing itself has done so, so far, to show the truth of Wei Wuxian's feelings and memories of his life. A life you helped ruin. I stand by Lan Wangji’s belief in Wei Wuxian, as well as my own. I saw from Lan Wangji's side as well as my own perspective, that Wei Wuxian was not some evil villain constantly up to no good. You all were fooled and led by the nose from two men, one who wanted to be Chief Cultivator from the start as soon as the Wens were out if the way wanted more power himself, and one of his children who was sickeningly desperate for his fathers acknowledgement of his existence."
"I was born into the Lan Sect, and after my death, I've stayed and watched from my brother's side and I can see things more objectively than others and I am not so quick to believe in made up rumors about someone, without getting to know them and their side of the story. I do not care about someone's background. I care for their actions, and their choices, their character and how they treat others," Lan Xuan paused before continuing, " I will attest to the fact that I am not okay with the Lan's Sects punishment of my baby brother and I am well aware of all our sect's rules. Nevertheless, it was punishment for a man who defended someone he held dear in his heart."
Lan Xuan looked at his Uncle. "Even one that has a powerful core can still die under many whip lashes, from lashes and blood loss, or infection and fever or someone so full of heartache and grief that it makes them want to die… I was there when Lan Wangji was punished. I have been by all of your sides the whole time! Watching and trying to be there for you in the only way I could! None of you could see nor hear me. I have been there, especially for you Uncle, I know how you are. I know the rules of our sect and our traditions are important, but are they truly more important than family?
"You saw Wei Wuxian as a vile, supposed evil man because he no longer cultivated the righteous path and because of the rumors and how his actions seemed in your eyes, but your view had been obscured and tainted by others and prejudice. Wei Wuxian, powerful in his use of demonic cultivation, was at heart, a man that was only trying to survive and help others, and not let innocents be blamed for crimes they never committed. Whenever Wei Wuxian attacked, he was always cornered and provoked or merely trying to defend himself or others. And he had no golden core. And he survived Burial Mounds with help of Yanling Daoren, and relying on resentful energy. Without it, he would have died. And Lan Wangji, all he has ever done is follow the rules and he was also trying to follow his heart and he wanted to help someone he loved. Because of how things unfolded at Nightless City, Jin Guangshan was whispering in your ears, and a foolish young man shot an arrow at Wei Wuxian with clear intent to kill when Wei Wuxian had not even attacked. And you all have now seen his memories of Qiongqi Path, they attempted to assassinate him on the spit, for a curse he didn't even place, because it was all orchestrated so carefully. Once again… who was truly wronged? Who was the instigator? And Lan Wangji, punished for simply defending someone he loved, because he was the only one who believed in Wei Wuxian and trusted the Wei Wuxian he knew was good.
"Lan Wangji should have never been forced into that kind of situation, to choose to let his family kill the man he loved in front of him or defy them, and should they attack, have to fight back. Which he did. You chased after him, and sought to kill Wei Wuxian and when Lan Wangji refused to stand aside and allow it, you expected him to stand there and let you attack Wei Wuxian? The man he loves or his family? And while you chose to side with Jin Guangshan and the majority, believing the rumors and their lies without knowing the whole story or Wei Wuxian's reasons… well by that point it was already too late. The damage was done. I was by Lan Wangji’s side as he took the punishment. I knelt by his side, trying to alleviate his pain and watched his blood flow down his back in rivulets as his back was nearly flayed to ribbons! I was by his side when he heard of Wei Wuxian's death, my spirit was with him when he fled to fed any last Remnants of Wei Wuxian at Burial Mounds, but everything that was left, the other sects sought fit to take that which never belonged to them, from a man they drove to his death. And even begin to use the inventions he had created. Including our sect," Lan Xuan continued, his voice carrying heavily throughout the room. "I sat by Lan Wangji’s side as he lay, trying to heal from his wounds and grieving terribly. He never heard or saw me of course, as I sang to him and stayed with him and tried to help him heal and lend him my strength. There was a single night he was alone where he had a fever so high, I didn't know if my help would be enough to save him from clutches of death, and from his grief that only made it worse. I kept him alive, after Lan Xichen had come to check on him and his wounds and Lan Wangji asked him to leave, for Lan Wangji’s situation became grave after that Lan Xichen left that night. So I lent him my strength and kept him alive as someone came to check on him again and realized Lan Wangji's condition and finally healers had to come again to keep him stable and Lan Xichen lent his strength. I watched you from his doorway, Uncle, I saw your regret...but do you see now, Uncle? Of course you do, what a ridiculous question." Lan Xuan sighed before turning to Lan Wangji, his youngest brother. Lan Wangji was staring at him with wide eyes again, mouth slightly agape as though he wished to say something.
Lan Xuan bowed to him, realizing it might not have been best to speak all of that allowed before all these cultivators. It seemed, he caught swept up in the moment, riding in the wave of his tumultuous emotions and he couldn't stop. There was plenty he still wanted to say, but he never planned to say those thing he spoke of in such a way, though his tone had no inflections of his emotions, he was excellent at hiding them, but some of his words might have obviously given him away.
Or could be taken the wrong way. He did not hold a grudge against his uncle or anyone of his sect really. But his youngest brother, Lan Wangji, never aired his feelings and Lan Xuan, with their connection, knew Lan Wangji's emotions and heart more than many, except maybe his brother Lan Xichen. Lan Wangji never spoke of his pain he buried so deeply, or his anger that he tries to deny. It was all amplified through Lan Xuan.
Lan Wangji didn't blame his uncle or his sect, he had accepted his punishment and let it be. His anger is toward those who hurt Wei Wuxian and drove him to his death and his anger at himself for not being strong enough or not realizing sooner just how much Wei Wuxian needed help. All of this filtered through Lan Xuan and combined with some of his own feelings of anger and sadness and at how unjust it all was. He didn't even want to discuss the Wen Remnants deaths and how horribly disrespectful everyone had treated their bodies, carelessly tossed into the blood pool at Burial Mounds.
Lan Xuan, for a short time he had left Lan Wangji side and followed and went to Burial Mounds- and saw for himself (though he couldn't be separated for very long). He had also witnessed them all get cut down mercilessly before leaving.
What about their justice? They never got theirs. And these people had been claiming righteousness until now. How pathetic.
They had no right to speak of justice.
《☆》《☆》《☆》
In the beginning, when Lan Xuan had become one with as well as the spirit of Lan Wangji's Guqin and Lan Wangji gave his 'Guqin' a name.
. . . .
"WangJi."
At the name his brother gave the Zither/him, Lan Xuan, the spirit - opened his eyes.
…
He watched over his brother. He learned as his brother learned, grew as he grew, and became stronger with each passing day as his brother’s golden core grew bigger and stronger.
《☆》《☆》《☆》
Lan Xuan met his brother’s 'friend' - the focus point of his affections-, named Wei Wuxian, and Suibian, his sword spirit.
Suibian was super friendly and outgoing, very social, just like his master.
Lan Xuan, however, as he grew alongside his brother, while he also had some quiet aloofness and a seemingly cold outer shell, found it much more fun to be mischievous and a bit devious. When A-Zhan wasn’t using him, the Zither stored away, Lan Xuan would walk around Cloud Recesses and tease some of the Lans though it was one sided since they could not see or hear him.
A gust of wind that swept papers away, and a few other...harmless pranks, sometimes scaring a few adolescent Lans and enjoying their reactions and mystified looks of confusion.
Other times, Lan Xuan let himself rest in the green meadows, or where the gentian flowers bloomed, and gazed at the expansive sky, reveling in the peaceful, serene feeling of nature and the quiet.
He was still always sure to keep his guard up and appear the moment his brother called out to him, the moment the strings were pulled taut or simply touching the Zither, it only took mere seconds to reappear by his brother's side whenever he needed him.
Lan Xuan did not know the storm that would soon find them in the very near future.
It's always calmest before the storm.
