Ch. 11 - Tinea Act I; Body Stuff

"The specific causes of gender dysphoria remain unknown, and treatments targeting the etiology or pathogenesis of gender dysphoria do not exist."

– Wikipedia article on Gender Dysphoria, 2023

 

***

 

I shifted excitedly, unable to control the grin that threatened to split my lips.

"Okay, Tynea. Body stuff."

So far we've essentially touched on three separate topics, your sex change, body enhancements including replacement of your inorganic augs, and dream-therapy-slash-dream-learning.

Three bullet lists appeared in front of me and began filling up with some items:

 

Sex Change

• Class I/II Genetics
  • Human species genome
  • Various other Class I/II genomes
• Class I Viral Editing
  • Splicers
  • Encoded DNA and RNA
• Class I Medical Nanite Dispenser
• Class I Nutrient Dispenser

Enhancements

• Existing Senses
  • Sight
  • Hearing
  • Sense of Smell
  • Touch
  • Taste
  • Spatial Orientation
• Additional Senses
• Replacement of Augs
• Full-body Toughness/Strength improvements
• Flight

Dream-Learning/Therapy

• Class I Dream Therapy
• Class I Dream Learning
• 'In Somnium Volarem' Dream Learning Implant
• Therapy for Acrophobia
• Dream Lessons for:
  • Combat Movements
  • Aerial Maneuvering
  • Terrestrial Vehicle Control

 

"That's a bunch," I said excitedly.

There's some overlap between Sex Change and Enhancement, but yes, there is much to go over. You seem rather interested. Would you like me to go into detail?

"Yep! In layman's terms, please!"

Understood. I'll go through the bullet points one by one.

"Okay!"

The sex change is fairly easy to accomplish. In fact, the technology already exists on Earth, it's just much inferior.

Class I Genetics will supply you with general libraries of various species' genes, as well as scanners to decode natural and artificial DNA and RNA—and other types of encoded genes besides. It is the first step of the tech tree that unlocks the specialized mutation of genetic data. It gives you the What of accomplishing not just your sex change, but also the modification of organics across the board—the ability to identify the correct genes to target.

Class I Viral Editing represents the next step along that tech tree, and gives you the How—the tools with which to do the actual modifying. There are many different ways of changing the genome. Viral Editing is a specialized method that is extremely versatile, but much slower than other variants. If you do not intend to adapt and mutate during combat, then the ability of viruses to meet any and all splicing needs is incredible and incomparably cheaper in the long run.

As you will be unable to engage in trades with me throughout the chrysalis, we will want a couple of reliable medical devices to watch over you. One to manage nanite swarms, and one to manage your nutrition. Single-use versions are cheapest.

Enhancements of pre-existing senses also cost little. There is no reason not to improve them, really. Added sense organs, however, are a little more expensive, but these are the forte of Class II Organic Moonsinger Augmentations. Even just one addition would drastically improve your ability to negotiate danger.

"That does sound interesting. What are my options?"

May I make complementary suggestions later, when you've made other, simpler choices? I believe that'll be most practical.

"Okay…?"

There'll always be opportunities to experiment and add or remove senses, but they can be extremely…overwhelming. I would present options that would let you get used to having your horizons expanded safely, and inform your future decisions.

Well. That was mildly terrifying. Tynea's reticence to share freely was a big red flashy warning. I supposed that having new senses wedged into my brain may indeed call for caution.

"Fine. Next topic?"

Certainly. Human skin is…not perfect. There are better options that are both tougher and offer the ability to grow a variety of saeta, like hair, fur, or scales. These organs can be a little pricey as coverage and versatility increases. It may be best to choose a basic model and utilize Class II Genetics combined with Class I Viral Editing to modify later.

The next two points go together. Toughening your body would generally improve your survivability, but flying under your own power essentially requires it.

I caught your interest in flight earlier today, but would you still like to know more?

"Hell yes!" If I could, I'd be swinging my legs like a child. "Mostly, how? Like, what would need to change about my body?"

That very much depends on the method you'd wish to use. Flight generally is expensive, both in points, but also energy-wise. Then, many methods require less structurally sound bodies, which is not desirable in combat.

Do you intend to remain human, and if so, to what degree? Is it enough to look and feel like a human, or do you wish to remain entirely human?

"Um," I say, stilling my fidgeting as I considered the question. I found I wasn't too squeamish about body modification. How I presented mattered a whole lot more, though, which probably came from all the…dysphoria I'd had to deal with since forever. "I certainly want to keep looking human. I can't imagine myself not being human in the mirror and it would probably keep nagging at me in a bad way. Internally… I don't care. Maybe, human with additions on the outside, and additions with human on the inside? I think that'd be fine."

Understood. If you intend to remain mostly human and look like it, then a method that does not depend on the beating of wings is necessary. The required muscle groups would change your physical shape in irreconcilably inhuman ways. That considerably narrows my options. 

Of these, the Class II 'Origami' Saturniidae Moth Wings best combine your needs and the aesthetics you have shown with the spinneret. These would be anchored to your spine via a complex set of ossein levers, specialized ligaments, and miniaturized musculature hidden within your body. The wings, four of them, are made of fractally folding structures, and instead of providing lift via flapping, they do so via quadrillions of oscillating, chitinous scales. The wings' structure will allow you to fold them as you wish, entirely without obstructing your ability to fly, provided the airflow isn't cut and sufficient surface area is left accessible. They are extremely mobile in all directions and attitudes, but not particularly fast in travel.

"What do you mean by folding, exactly? I get origami, but I'm not entirely sure how that applies to…insect wings?"

They'll need a surface area in the multiple dozens of square meters to lift you, much less maneuver in combat. That's like having a super-size parachute permanently attached to you. Since that's decidedly impractical, they were designed to fold down into much smaller geometries.

"So they literally fold like origami? Like paper?"

Yes. They can be made to look like a fluffy poncho, or jacket-and-skirt combo, or something else entirely. It prevents getting stuck outside every door, too.

"Ah, that would've sucked."

Indeed. Moving on. Strength and toughness enhancements are fairly straightforward and hugely popular among the Vanguard for good reason. Your wings will determine the criteria you must meet. Immunity to injury from falls at terminal velocity is cheap and I'd suggest considering that the bare minimum for flight.

Finally, dream-learning and dream-therapy. The two may share an implant. Dream-learning is the most basic version of flash-learning and quite affordable. The implant will manipulate your dream phases as required to achieve a learning effect according to the selected knowledge you wish to acquire. 

"Why's that basic? What does advanced look like?"

Advanced flash-learning methods isolate areas of your brain and force them to dream even while you're awake. The upside is the ability to acquire skills at all times. The downsides are occasional flashes—hence the name; the technical nomenclature is entirely inappropriate for marketing—of mildly irritating intrusive thoughts while the knowledge and skills settle. And exponentially higher prices, of course.

"Of course. We'll stick to dream-learning, then. That's a no-brainer with the chrysalis putting me to sleep for days."

And that's the list explained. May I suggest we begin designing your new appearance?

"Okay. Can we start with me, my genes, as a woman?"

Of course.

The bullet lists moved to the side, then disappeared entirely and were replaced by a bunch of settings and sliders instead, video-game style.

The sliders are simplistic controls designed to make drafting easy. Voice commands will work too, if you prefer.

Tynea rendered a woman my age in the center of my view, along with a silhouette of myself to compare.

She was a little smaller, her eyes below the level of my chin, perhaps a meter seventy. Much like myself, she had pale central-European skin, deep black hair, and ice-blue eyes. Unlike me, she also had breasts, a much tighter waist, and nice hips leading into pretty legs. The breasts looked like…breasts. Like they'd be fun. Average, I guessed? But the waist was quite nippy and the way it curved into the hips and butt was amazing. She'd make any dress she wore look luxurious. Especially while walking.

She did feel like me, but also not.

I pondered that for a bit, but it only hit me when I played with the age slider.

"Oh, of course. Should've seen that coming," I said as I set my age to twenty.

What is it, Aden?

"Well, you see, my wish to be female comes from two connected experiences I made over and over again early in my life. I didn't fit in, and pretty much every boy anywhere would…bully me. My father did nothing to protect me. Nor did he teach me how to defend myself. So, they all knew I was an easy and safe victim. As is typical of children in that kind of situation, I started rejecting myself, thinking I mustn't be worth being helped or liked if nobody bothered.

"Simultaneously, I watched as the girls were treated gently and loved by the adults—and moved to a nearby place called Himmel. Heaven. We boys could watch, but we couldn't enter. They'd have mothers to hug them, and they'd constantly get together, celebrate birthdays, you get the idea. The girls didn't bully me, but of course as a boy I wasn't allowed to join them either. So…that told me that I had to be a girl if I wanted to be treated the same as them. But I wasn't. You can probably imagine how that turned out."

Yes, I believe I can. A child's development is extensively defined by their parents' ability to raise them appropriately. A lacking guard of their charge's mental well-being against a damaging environment is one of the more usual modes of failure. Your situation…has enough precedent that I'm able to extrapolate.

"Yeah. I'm thirty-four years old now. I've had plenty of time to grow up and get better, and I did. But no matter how much time passes or how much work I put into it, those experiences formed my foundation. I haven't been able to shake that childhood loneliness. The ways I adapted to being bullied…and other dangers I faced.

"So the wish to be a girl, or more precisely, to be loved, is emotionally, like, six years old. It's not compatible with adult me. That means that woman me is stuck somewhere in between the two, and twenty feels right. She's too old to really be a child, but too young to have distanced herself from it." 

I see the logic. There are treatments available in the dream-therapy catalog, if you wish to address this issue.

"Yeah, no. To this day, I remain isolated. I'm just more aware of it, and I have some control over what it does to me. And suddenly, there's a whole journey opening up in front of me? I'd like to take it. It feels like I'd be missing out on something I've had no opportunity to discover my entire life. I don't think I want to be a samurai to make things easy on myself. I want to be a samurai to make them possible."

As you wish, Aden.

I sensed no judgment from Tynea. I thought she had expected that answer before she even offered the choice. Or perhaps she simply saw no advantages worth pushing to other choices I could've made.

I added the spinneret tail to twenty year old female me, and played around with the sliders and colors, but I ended up with the same colorless fuzz again. There was just something about how it could change shades...

Playing with the, uh, boob sliders, as well as the facial feature sliders, was strange as hell. Somehow that pulled me from my earlier happiness and I began to feel unsettled on some level. Like I'd lost some sort of magic.

I knew there was more, something to figure out. But for now, I decided that maybe I could stop there and leave it for the next iteration.

 

***