“Dad!” Jodie shouted, her voice echoing. “C’mon over here!”
“Little busy, Jojo!” Victor shouted back from across the room. As far as Mitch could tell, he was playing some sort of makeshift bartender role with the homebrew stuff that Jodie brought.
“You’re checking IDs?” Mitch joked as he walked past the small gathering.
“This is a reputable establishment, Mitchell!” Victor retorted, then squeezed past the crowd and caught up to him. “Did you know that the drinking age in the Dominican is 18? These poor kiddos.”
“You can buy wine in France when you’re 16.”
“Too bad for you, huh? Came over here and had to wait an extra 5 years!” He gave Mitch’s back a hard slap. “Oh, I remember being so pissed when I first came here at 19 and found that out. Not that I couldn’t get it, but…” His head whipped around, and his voice lowered to a whisper, “We can discuss that at the after party.”
Mitch snorted as Victor tossed him a wink. “Alright,” he conceded, then slowed his pace to crawl as Victor peeled away to meet Jodie. Hanging back, he set the cutlery on the snack table, half listening to Jodie’s affectionate roast. The other half of his attention was on the cupcake that he’d been placed in charge of. Not interested in being the gentrified confection’s assigned ward, he considered also putting it down and walking away. As the scales heavily tipped towards going through with abandonment, the birthday song’s chorus broke out.
“Sweet party,” came a voice -yet again- from behind him, with an accompanying hand on his left shoulder; this time, he didn’t jump, which merited being self-congratulatory.
“Jodie knows how to throw ’em.” Mitch didn’t even have to look to know it was Avi, but he considered that whole manners thing and tipped his head to acknowledge him. Then, realizing that he could be relieved from his duties, he lit up. “Oh! Hey, this is for you.” He fumbled to free the cupcake box, which he pinned between the sling and his body to secure it. In hindsight, a bad move.
“I can-” Avi laughed. He reached towards the box, getting his fingers on it.
“No! No, it’s-” Mitch instinctively wrenched away. “It’s fine, I-“
“It’s cool, dude. Got it, see?” Avi removed the container with no harm nor foul committed; for no discernible reason, Mitch stood hunched and tense, ready to bolt away after the close contact. As Avi focused on opening the box, he willed himself to loosen up and to stop being so frantic. “Oh wow, did you actually go out and get a vegan cupcake for me?”
“Well uh…Jodie did, actually,” Mitch impulsively lied, unsure why. Of course he’d been the one to go to the stupid hipster bakery and paid out of pocket for an overpriced vegan dessert. He’d been earning his damn keep, after all!
“I’ll be sure to thank her,” nodded Avi, and the stress melted out of Mitch, draining to the floor and congealing into a sickly puddle; if he lifted his shoe, it’d probably make an awful squelching noise from the manifestation of his non-existent ego. His complete and total aversion to affirmation was bizarre, but fuck if he could figure out why he was wired like this; it didn’t make him feel good to have it, nor did he feel any better when he was denied it, either.
It probably had something to do with expectations and trauma, but this wasn’t the time or venue for that type of self-reflection.
Applause erupted when the song ended. Avi took a break from delicately extracting the cupcake to join in, and Mitch took the opportunity to study his face for a fleeting few seconds. He wondered if his neurosis was just as transparent with someone that hardly knew him. There was no way that he didn’t come across as a total freak, but how was he supposed to fix that at 29 years old?
Maybe that’s why he got cheated on.
No, still not the time to do that.
“This is so nice!” Flimsy cardboard defeated at last, Avi looked over and beamed. There wasn’t a hint of reproach in his expression or body language, so maybe Mitch’s awful reaction or minor deception weren’t as bad as he assumed. At the very least, the end of the world hadn’t been triggered just because he was socially inept.
“Yeah,” Mitch agreed, quickly looking away. “I think it’s from somewhere that’s pretty close to the house. ‘Frosting’ or something like that?”
“Oooh! Does it have chalkboards everywhere, and a logo with a big ‘X’ in it?”
“You know the place?” Mitch with a raised eyebrow.
“Nah, just guessing. Places like that all the same, though, aren’t they?” Avi put the cupcake to his mouth and took a bite. Despite exercising caution, he still got crumbs in his beard, which he wiped away. After swallowing, he remarked, “But this is great. Wanna try some?”
“I’m good,” Mitch shook his head. “Thanks, though.”
Avi shrugged, then wandered off in Jodie’s direction, and Mitch backed away even further, to the outskirts of the crowd that popped up all around. His nerves, jittery and swollen, were only mildly calmed the further he retreated. Victor spoke loudly, thanking everyone for coming, and thanking Jodie for putting the entire thing together. But Mitch’s hearing faded in and out, and he scrambled to get away, ending up in the kitchen again. He slumped onto the grimy loveseat that was jammed in there and rubbed his eyes.
“What the fuck,” he grumbled, frustrated that he couldn’t keep his shit together for more than a few minutes at a time. It’d been a good day, surrounded by friends that he assumed cared about him, or at least tolerated him. There wasn’t any feasible reason to become overwhelmed so quickly, so heavily.
Yet, all that he wanted to do was cry. The specific trigger that brought this dismal emotional state eluded him, so he chalked it up to just needing a little solitude to gather himself.
