Jake let out a low whistle as he glanced around, "The Halls of Justice." He nodded his head a bit then scrunched his nose while looking at Plastic Man, "Bit cramped, don't you think?"

 

Plastic Man shrugged, "It's a space station. Room is at a premium."

Jake nodded, "Ah. Point taken."

 

Guy half stood up out of his chair, both hands on the table as he leaned forward, "What the Hell is going on?"

 

Batman gestured with one hand towards Jake, "You said you wanted to take him to Oa. I anticipated this and talked with Mister London in advance. I convinced him to remand himself into Justice League custody until this matter could be resolved."

 

Jake pointedly held up his hands to show off his handcuffs and waved towards Guy, "Hi there!"

 

Guy sat back down, "Well, you just made my job a lot easier."

 

Superman's robot looked at Guy, "IF... we let you have him." The robot turned its head at an odd angle to look at Batman, "That's why you arrested him. Now if we let Guy take him, it's on our heads."

 

Batman nodded, "I have my reasons."

 

Hawkgirl held up a hand, "Hold it. Everyone. Let's calm down here." She tilted her hand towards Jake, "I don't see what the problem is. If he's innocent of any crimes, he won't be harmed." She folded her hands, "And I'll admit, I have a problem with weapons that are as powerful as a Green Lantern ring, except they are powered by hate and fear. That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen."

 

Jake snorted, "I bet you have a problem with me."

 

Hawkgirl sat up, "And what's that supposed to mean?"

 

Jake opened his mouth but froze. He just stared for a few seconds before turning away, "That's a topic for another discussion."

 

Hawkgirl squinted, "Excuse me?"

 

Jake looked up, "It's personal. I'll be more than happy to talk with you in private sometime, but this isn't the time or place."

 

Batman took control of the conversation, "He's from an alternate Earth and happens to know things about us. All of us." He gave Jake a sideways glance, "In rather disturbing detail."

 

Jake went around the table, playfully pointing at each superhero as he named them. "Bruce Wayne, Wally West, Clark Kent, Diana Prince..." Then, he turned his attention to The Martian Manhunter and spoke in a hushed tone, "I know your secret, but don't worry, I won't reveal it to anyone." He then shifted his gaze to Hawkgirl and said, "Same goes for you." Finally, he pointed at Guy Gardner and delivered a more direct remark, "And... I know nothing about you, other than out of all the Green Lanterns that ever existed, you certainly have the reputation for being the biggest... well, let's just say 'a bit difficult'." Jake then pointed at Plastic Man, "We already talked about his issues." Jake turned to his flexible escort, "Speaking of, what'd you decide?"

 

Plastic Man looked like he was caught off guard, but recovered quickly, "Uh... About my son?" He rubbed the back of his neck, "I went to my ex and she chewed me out right and proper, but she let me see him so... Yeah. I'm going to try and be there for him."

 

Jake bumped shoulders with Plastic Man, "Damn. Knew you had it in you!" He lowered his voice, "Scared?" Plastic Man nodded while letting out a little sigh. Jake continued, "Well, warned you it was temporary. Don't worry. Fear is a good thing. It'll keep you from screwing up." He nodded once, "You'd be a great Dad, just don't project your own hangups onto him."

 

Guy was getting increasingly angry the longer Jake and Plastic Man bantered. He slammed his hands on the table, "What The Hell?" Then threw them over his head, "Am I going insane? What is going on?"

 

Jake looked at Guy while hooking a thumb at Plastic Man, "Plastic Man has a kid, but he and his ex separated and she kept the kid. He's trying to work out joint custody."

 

The Flash looked at Batman, "You're Bruce Wayne?"

 

Jake gave Flash a horrified look, gritted his teeth, then slowly turned to look at Batman, "oops?"

 

Batman made a fist then slowly relaxed it, "We'll talk about this later."

 

The Flash looked at Jake, "And not Wally West."

 

Jake snapped his fingers, realizing his error. "Ah, you must be Barry Allen then, and Wally would your successor," He leaned in and put his hand to the side of his mouth, whispering dramatically, even though everyone could easily hear him, "If he ever disintegrates after getting struck by lightning, don't worry. He'll be alright... Eventually." Jake paused for a moment, then corrected himself with a frown. "Wait, that doesn't make sense," He pointed at Batman and continued, "Because I've met Nightwing, and Wally and Jason were both part of Young Justice together... I think."

 

"Or was it Tim? Certainly not Todd or that freak Azrael." Jake squinted his eyes as he looked at the ceiling lights, "So, if Wally hasn't grown up yet, but Nightwing did, who's gonna head up Young Justice? Damien?" Jake's handcuffs jangled as he reached up with both hands to tap his chin thoughtfully, "That's gonna be weird."

 

The Flash sat up in his hair, "What's Young Justice?"

 

Batman narrowed his eyes at Jake, "Who's Damien?"

 

Jack looked at The Flash, "I'm getting the impression the Justice League is just getting started. When you start finding more kid recruits you set up ahh... how do I put it?  A Superhero incubator team called Young Justice." He paused then added, "Real creative name, I know." Jake then gestured towards Batman with both hands, "And Damien is your son. When you knocked up Ra's al-Ghul's Daughter? What's her face? Can't remember her name off the top of my head."

 

Batman scowled, "I don't have a-" He abruptly cut himself off. His eyes dropped to the side as he stared off into the middle distance, then both eyes abruptly grew wide as he put things together in his head, "Hold it-"

 

Guy raised his voice to try and regain control of the discussion, "Has everyone lost their mind?" He pointed at Jake while looking around at everyone else, "He knows your secret identities! HOW???"

 

Jake raised a hand, "Oh, I can answer that." Everyone looked at him expectantly, "In my home dimension, you're all very popular TV, movie, and comic book characters. Everyone knows who you are." He then looked at Guy Gardner, "Except you. Nobody knows who you are." Guy glared at Jake. Jake smiled back, "They don't even have any rule thirty-four about you."

 

Wonder Woman looked curious, "What's rule thirty-four?"

 

Jake froze, looking at Wonder Woman with the widest of eyes and appearing like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck, "PleaseDon'tAskMeThat."

 

The Flash saved him by interrupting, "Uh, let's get back to the topic at hand." Wonder Woman couldn't help but notice that Flash avoided looking at her as he spoke. Flash cleared his throat, "So there are movies about us?" He steepled his fingers as he gave Jake a sly smile, "Who's the most popular?"

 

Hawkgirl turned to Flash, giving him an annoyed look, "Seriously?"

 

Jake started counting off on his fingers, "Top three were actor West Batman, actor Keaton Batman, and then the Bale Batman." He looked at the ceiling and squinted as he tried to remember the details, "Then I would say... Reeves Superman or Cavill Superman. Hard to compare. NOBODY liked Superman Returns.  Oh. They screwed the pooch with Batman Verses Superman. That one killed the franchise." He bit his lower lip, "Wonder Woman was good, Aquaman was-" He looked around, "Hey, where's Aquaman?"

 

Most of them looked at each other, "Who's Aquaman?"

 

Wonder Woman spoke up, "He's the king of Atlantis. They are allied with the Amazons. I asked him to come help in the fight against Doomsday. He lost his arm, but he's recovering."

 

Jake blinked, "The dude rules about seventy percent of the planet and you ask, 'Who's Aquaman?' Are you people serious?" He shook his head, "Damn. Well... Honestly. It's for the best. I always liked the version of him that had the harpoon hand. He's much cooler that way."

 

Superman's android looked curious, "Version?"

 

Jake nodded, "Your collective IPs have been rebooted several times. Some things change, and some things stay the same. So I can warn you about some things, but not about others. And some things I'm going to talk about most likely never happened." He looked at Wonder Woman, "For example, in the eighties did you use a magic rock to wish your ex-boyfriend who was killed in world war two back from the dead?"

 

Wonder Woman's expression turned cold, "No."

 

Jake's handcuffs clinked as he pointed at Wonder Woman with both hands, "Good for you. That movie was a train wreck."

 

Guy started to rub his eyebrow like he was getting a headache, "Can we please get back to the topic at hand?"

 

Jake looked up, "Oh. You mean talking about how the Guardians are the most successful genocidal mass murderers of all time?" Jake's expression turned as cold as Wonder Woman's, "Yes. Let's talk about THAT."

 

Guy Gardner pounded a fist on the table. he pointed at Jake while he looked at everyone else, "Can you believe this guy?"

 

Jake sneered, "Afraid of a few truth bombs?" He jogged his head toward Wonder Woman, "I believe her golden lasso compels all those who are bound by it to speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." He turned to Wonder Woman, "If you promise not to ask any personal questions, I got no problem with cutting to the chase."

 

Wonder Woman looked a little surprised at the request, "That... isn't exactly common knowledge, but yes. The Lariat of truth can compel people to speak what they believe to be the truth." She looked around, "I prefer not to use it unless I have no other option, but if you wish..."

 

Jake arched his eyebrows high, "The Guardians are going to murder me. You're damn right I wish to use the lasso. I'm fighting for my life here."

 

Guy crossed his arms, "A bit melodramatic, Hotrod."

 

Jake looked back, "Am I?" As Wonder Woman stood up, Jake turned back to her, "By the way, you of all people should know how horrible the truth can be. Stick to the relevant topics and don't ask anything personal or about each other. Out of context, some of my shaky knowledge might ruin friendships." He briefly glanced at Hawkgirl, "There are things to discuss, but let's be delicate about it, shall we?"

 

Wonder Woman, holding her Lasso firmly, carefully considered Jake's words before acknowledging them with a nod of agreement. She motioned for Plastic Man to step back, positioning herself to throw the loop of her Lasso over Jake's head and securely cinching it around his upper arms. As the loop tightened, an astonishing transformation took place. Two swords materialized in Jake's hands. In his right hand, a brilliant steel sword ignited into blazing flames, radiating heat and power. In his left hand, the Fell Blade revealed its true form, a plain blade with a hilt enveloped in simple leather wrappings. The blade itself was unadorned, lacking any embellishments or even a crossguard. It measured only two feet in length and was perfectly straight.

 

Perfectly.

 

It was the straightest blade ever.

 

In fact, if you looked at it, you could not help but realize it WAS perfectly straight. Both edges of the blade were perfectly parallel, and yet, somehow they came together to form a point. The odd thing was, you knew the blade was right. The blade was true. It was the truest thing you ever saw.

 

The rest of reality was lying to you.

 

The burning blade laughed, "SUCH PURITY! SUCH BEAUTY! THE TOUCH OF THE DIVINE!"

 

Jake looked down, his head turning from side to side to watch the blades, "What's going on?"

 

The red ring growled, "YOU'RE AN IDIOT!"

 

Yellow spoke quickly, "The lasso can affect multiple targets. That would include your self-aware equipment, MASTER." It spoke that last word with as much condescension as it could muster.

 

Jake would have done more to take control of the situation, but he was having trouble of his own. He gritted his teeth in pain as his whole body started to ripple and shift. It felt like his whole body was melting under some sort of pressure. Everyone watching was shocked as it looked like Jake's body was being twisted and warped into a new form. It only took a second, but in that second, Jake had shrunk significantly in size.

 

The fell blade started to speak in a sing-song voice, "Ahhh... My love. It has been an eternity..." The blade twisted in Jake's hand and tried to loop the end of the lasso that Wonder Woman was holding around itself. As it moved, the Lasso reflexively jerked out of the way as if it was a young girl repulsed by the lecherous touch of her creepy uncle, "Embrace me, Veritas! lEt uS Be ToGeTHeR FoReVeR!"

 

Wonder Woman didn't want to find out what would happen if the blade touched her lasso and with a flick of her wrist lifted it up and off of Jake. The sword tried to take a swing for the lasso, but the blazing sword interfered. Both swords impacted and metal rang out in a discordant din.

 

"FOUL CREATURE!" The Holy sword exclaimed, "WE SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WITH YOUR MASTER!" The two blades started to grind against each other, edge on edge. Molten metal started to drip from the point of contact, causing the carpet to burst into flames with every drop, "A MISTAKE I AIM TO CORRECT!" The leverage of the two swords grinding against one another was enough to force Jake's hands apart, shattering the handcuffs in the process.

 

The Fell Blade just giggled as it repeated over and over, "SingForMeSingForMeSingForMeSingForMe-"

 

Jake let out a shriek as he yanked the two blades apart, "Put Them Back In Storage!" His two rings each flashed. The swords vanished.

 

Regardless of how brief Jake's contact with the lasso was, it had caused most of the mental blocks in his mind to shatter. He clutched at his head as he was assaulted with unlocked and unwanted memories. Combined with the strange physical transformation, it was simply too much of an accumulative shock to his system for him to endure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jake collapsed into welcoming darkness.