"Hey,” a cool but soothing voice says. “It’s great to see you,” as she smiles up at me. She’s wearing a one shoulder dress in a steel gray color with her hair in a wavy half up hairstyle. She chose to pair that with black peep show heels. Thanks to social media, it’s obvious that her sister took some liberties with the maid dresses to set her sister at ease without overshadowing her dress. It’s breath taking to see it and her in person. One of the few things I allow myself is to admit that I think she’s absolutely gorgeous. “We’re glad that you could make it,” Allison says.
It has been almost two years since we last saw each other, and god, do I love that woman. Instead of going straight into college, she decided to take a couple years before deciding what she wanted to do to save money and work through the trauma she’s incurred in the past. “Of course, Allie. The Maid of Honor invited me personally. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Her cheeks flame red. “Yeah. Well…” I’m unable to hear what she quietly mumbles until, “still thank you. I appreciate you being here for my sis.”
“No problem. I still vividly remember the day I came out to your family, and I remember what she did for you.” A complicated mix of emotions causes my smile to slip before I remember that this day is a cause of celebration. “So seriously, if the bride wanted me here, I was going to be here.”
“I’ll be sure to let her know that, and it’s been nice seeing you again.”
“You too, and may I say that you’re stunning in that dress.”
Her ears turn pink, and she stammers out, “Alex picked it out.”
“Well, she did well.” Winking to her, “compliments to the chef.”
“Shut up,” she whines. It’s adorable how cute she is when she’s flustered. Trauma therapy has really helped her. “It’s not my fault that you look ravishing in your tailored suit.”
And just like that, the tables have been turned. I feel my face become extremely hot, and while I turn my face away from her, I know she has a shit eating grin.
Again, I remind myself that she doesn’t love me the way that I love her. It’s not even her fault that she teases me. I haven’t told her about my feelings, and she has little reason to realize since I’ve had a plethora of partners. I was hoping that time away from her would stop them, but my heart has to be connected to my stupid sapphic lizard brain.
The pause is getting awkward, so I think it’s my time to find a seat. “Well, nice seeing you again, but I know it’s getting to be that time. I’ll go find a seat before the ceremony starts.” I smile to her as she lets me go. Thank God.
−
“There will be a brief 15-minute break for the staff to clear the tables before the rest of the night’s activities start,” a masculine voice calls out over the microphone. You know what that means. Dancing. Lots and lots of dancing.
Having dropped off the wedding present and enjoyed the dinner, I can start making my way to the exit. Typically, I love this part of the evening, but I want to avoid any more awkwardness that may arise between myself and Allie.
I see the door to the Hall when I catch sight of Alex running, in might I add are high heels, dragging Allie, who is in much more reasonable flats for this part of the evening, behind her. I idly wonder where they’re going in a rush when I realize that they’re headed straight for me.
“Where the hell are you going?!” Alex seems genuinely mad. “I didn’t send an invite directly to you because I wanted you,” pointing at me, “and little miss ice queen to talk because you’re avoiding each other.” What? I mean I know I have, but that implies Allie has been too?
Looking at Allie’s face, I see the guilt sketched over her features… Shit! She really has been. Neither, she or I make any move to start talking. Alex just sighs while pinching her nose, exasperatedly. “Look. You were both thick as thieves until whatever happened last year. You don’t have to tell me, but you need to work it out. It’s obvious that both of you are worse off than when you were together.”
“Look, Alex,” Allie says. She looks pained as she casts a glance at me. “Nothing happened. Sometimes people just drift apart. She happened to continue her education, and I went directly into the workforce.” She shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant. She fails. At that, Alex narrows her eyes.
Her body posture shifts before fixing her gaze on me. “Is that the case, Sonia? Is that what happened?” My body tenses, and I want to lie. I want to say that, ‘yes. It’s true,’ but I know my face says otherwise.
The look of satisfaction that graces Alex’s face told me that she already knew the answer. “Thought so,” she says. “Thank you for telling the truth, Sonia.” Allie on the other hand looks defeated, but she doesn’t say anything. “Now, do I need to be here to oversee two little girls talking with each other, or can I trust that two adult women to be honest and open with each other?”
“Go be with your husband. Right, Allie?” She nods.
“Awesome!” Alex looks at her sister. “And Allison, don’t worry about the whole being there for the events thing. This is more important. I hope we’ll see both of you out there though. If not, don’t worry. I’ll let mom know that you’re dealing with something more important.” With that, she’s off.
Neither of us make a move to speak and soon the awkwardness is palpable between us once more. “So, huh-” Allison starts to say when the speakers crackle to life.
“Will the newly appointed Husband and his mother come up for the Mother-Son amd Daughter-Father dance?”
“Hey,” I say. “Want to head outside and finish this?”
“Sure. Let’s go,” she says as she smiles.
Heading through the lobby, we see the door leading to the outside. Thankfully, it’s a pleasant day with a slight breeze and low humidity 75 F (24 C) day. The breeze feels good on my hot skin. It may be a nice day, but a bunch of people in a room. I may not know how many were there or actual size of room, but it was probably 5-10 degrees warmer in there than it is out here.
I see a place to lean against, so that’s where I go. “So,” I begin to say. “Alex made it seem like you were avoiding me. Were you?” Yes, I’ve been avoiding her too, but one of us needs to start this conversation. And I gave her the chance in there. “No judgements, I promise.”
She looks guilty before looking down. “I have,” she says, sadness dripping into her voice. “It’s just. You went off directly to college whereas I decided to take some time off school to figure out what I want to do and save some money up so my parents didn’t have to stress.” It’s true. I remember the conversation we had that lone night after her graduation party.
We’re both lying flat on the porch looking up at space. It’s a crystal-clear night, all the stars sparkling. “It’s such a great night to stargaze, isn’t it, Sonia?”
“It is. I’ve always felt connected to something bigger, more mystical, when I’m out looking at nature.” She hmms at that, and we’re back to silence. It’s a nice silence where we just quietly enjoy each other’s presence.
“Hate that we’ll be separate, but I’m sure you’ll do wonderful in college.”
“You know,” I ponder. “You could’ve come with. You can work anywhere.”
“Nah,” she says waving me off. “I’m sure you don’t want me messin’ things up with the people you meet. Besides, I have my reasons for staying close to my family.”
I raise a freshly plucked eyebrow that I know she can’t see. “And what are those?”
“Saving money for school and honestly, I want to figure out what I want before spending the big money.” I know what’s unspoken. ‘I don’t want to burden my family.’
“Fair.” I say casually. “America is stupid like that.” A few moments of hearing crickets chirp pass before, “I’ll miss you, you know.”
I hear the blush. “I’ll miss you too, but we’ll be able to see each other whenever you’re back.”
I smile thinking about the future. “True.”
And that’s what happened that first year. We’d hang out whenever I was back in town or when she occasionally decided to visit. It was nice. That all changed when she came out as being in the ace spectrum. ‘I don’t know what I am, but I don't really care about sex. It’s whatever to me.” Coincidentally, I got my first college girlfriend around that time.
“How’s work been going anyway?” I ask.
“Pretty good though I’m quitting soon,” she says. “I figured out what I want to major in and have some money saved up.”
“Cool,” I say with a raised eyebrow. “That’s awesome. Which major and where?”
“Culinary Arts,” she causally says. “Don’t know what my exact end goal is, but that’s definitely the major that I want.” She shrugs. “Maybe I’ll try my hand at starting a business.”
“Didn’t know you were into cooking.” I take a few to ponder her career plans. “And I think anything is possible if Allison Carver has any say in it.” I wink at her and see a blush starting to form.
“Thanks,” she says. “As to where I’m going community college first before transferring out to a 4-year school.”
“Cool,” I say. “Sounds like you’ve got a plan.”
“Yeah,” she says. “What about you? School going ok?”
“Yep. Ol’ school is going well. I’m currently in 2nd year sports medicine, but I haven’t really done much class wise for it yet.” I shrug. “Knew I’d be taking a semester or two off, so I didn’t what to start the truly important stuff. I’m done with the who liberal arts side of school though.”
“You’re taking time off?”
“Yeah,” I smile. “I’ve got my date scheduled for surgery. It’s in three months.”
“What?!” She shrieks out excitedly. “Oh my god!” She bear hugs me. “Yay! I’m so excited for you!”
I chuckle a bit at that. “That’s something I haven’t seen before,” I tease, causing her face to become a tomato. “But thanks,” I smile. “I’m excited too. I’m looking forward to fully having my body match what my mental image is.” That’s true. I may be a demigirl, but I need a vagina damnit! I’m incredibly ready and excited, but I’m also incredibly nervous and fearful. I mean who wouldn’t be. Surgery is a big deal, even if it’s not needed. It is very much for me though.
“Extremely understandable,” she says while subconsciously nodding her head. “I would be too.”
“Yeah,” I say as I trail off.
Neither of us make any move to speak. I think we both know where this is going, but neither wants to start it. After what feels like hours but in all reality was minutes at most, she speaks. “So,” she says before trailing off, looking away. “I’m pretty sure my sis didn’t just want us to catch up with each other.”
I take a deep breath and sigh. “Yeah, I know. You want to start, or do you want me to?”
“You,” she says. “You’re the one that started being weird after I came out as being in the ace spectrum.”
“Fair,” I say. I take a deep sigh again before forcing myself to start. “I got weird because I wanted to respect your identity.” Looking confused, I rectify, “with your sexuality. I like like you in that way and romantically.” I’m starting to struggle, but I keep myself going through my raging emotions. “I know you don’t…experience attraction like I do.” Starting to tear up, I force myself to keep going. “I didn’t,” my voice beginning to shake, “I didn’t want to-” (make you uncomfortable)
She gently puts fingers under my chin, bringing my face to hers. Softly, she quietly says, “Hey, it’s ok.” Gently, she wipes the now leaking tears off my cheeks. “I really like you too,” she says, her face at ease before kissing me on my lips.
And then my brain goes blank. I am absolutely stunned and speechless, so she starts talking. “Yeah, I’m ace, but here’s the thing, what matters is how I feel. Maybe I’m demi or gray. I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. Ever since that fateful semester, you’re the only one I’ve ever had any eyes for.”
Finally, my brain reboots, and I croak out, “Really?”
“Yes, really,” she says. “Why don’t we take a few more minutes to calm down before we go back in there and enjoy some dancing?”
“Sounds perfect,” I say as we hold hand in hand.
‘I don’t know what I am, but I really care about sex. It’s whatever to me.”
might be missing a "don't" in there.
Thanks for the story, I really enjoyed following along as these kids learned about themselves and chose their friends/family.
That I was! Thank you! As I've said, you'll get to see these goofballs in the future as side characters
It'll be awhile though. I've just taking my time and healing (mentally/emotionally). It would be counterproductive for me to release anything right now :/, and I'm just going where my mind wants with writing (several stories 😅😊)