I turned my eyes to the vile enemy that caused the downfall of all my plans, hopes, and dreams. He was currently twisting his features into a frightening glower, lips vaguely upturned with triumph. A long, even scar stretched from his forehead, over his right eyelid, and to the corner of his lip. To finish his roguish look, a falcon with disheveled feathers rested on his shoulder and was preening itself continuously as though out of sorts. 

I blinked slowly at the man as he held me in the air.

I want to say he’s a local bandit, but I recognize him. The thought of blackmailing him over the illegal hunting flashed through my mind, too bad there were no witnesses. I was thinking of many things I could say, but I couldn’t say any of it because my collar was, at the moment, choking me. The pressure of my body weight pressing against the fabric did not make for a comfortable experience, and I scratched at my neck involuntarily.

The man clicked his tongue. He let my feet touch the ground, twisting an arm behind my back instead.

He spat out the words, “Aren’t you impressive!”

I rubbed my throat and prepared to use a few sloppy formalities to act as though he hadn’t been sarcastic.

“No, no. You’re the one who’s really too impressive…Climbing up here so swiftly, acquiring your falcon, then having the leisure to watch before dragging me up by the collar. I could not even hear your footsteps approaching. You must be exceptional at the martial arts¹Not really a wuxia/fantasy setting, using the term 'martial arts' loosely so I can make fight scenes more exciting, blocking arrows and all that jazz..”

Admittedly, I was so focused at the time I wouldn’t have heard if an entire army on horseback galloped over while beating war drums. The man seemed to be examining every contour of my figure. his free hand patting along my waist belt. He wouldn’t find anything. No weapons, no money, no poison, no lubricant. I may as well be naked.

“Could you kindly release my arm?” I asked. It was throbbing; The circulation is getting cut off.

He did so, but a firm grip was kept on my wrist like a shackle as he walked me away from the ledge. Until, for the nth time, I stood in the middle of the dreadful plateau. The angered magpies squawked warnings from the trees. Thank you, magpies, I appreciate your support.

I broke first the silence. “I…will return to the capital…all right?”

He stared me in the eyes, then drawled out a few words that dripped with suspicion.

“No plans to admire the mountain tomorrow?”

Perhaps it was the mental state I drifted into then, but below the cliff the man had seemed other worldly and his gaze alone could unsettle me. Now I found that he was a man like any other, albeit an enigma on first meeting. I wondered if it wasn’t enough for him to stop me here and now? He can feel like he did a good deed. But why follow it up into tomorrow? That’s nagging.

“You’ve disillusioned me…” I roused a self-mocking tone, “This foolish one²There are a number of ways to humble oneself when speaking to a superior, 'foolish' indicating his ideas/actions were lesser than Zhou Liang's. tired himself climbing the mountain once. I won’t dare to do it again. Our meeting must be a strange fate, how can I go against it?”

“You won’t?” he took a finger and scratched under his falcon’s chin. “If not for my Biao, you would’ve gone against it.”

I smiled as placating gesture. “Let’s not split hairs. General Zhou is too kind to an insignificant person. You probably have other matters to attend, so no need to waste your time over this. Rest assured I will not take your kindness for granted.”

I happened to run into a prodigious general of the empire in the middle of nowhere.

Zhou Liang got his renown after his contributions in the war at Eagle plains eight years ago. He had already been favored by the Minister of War, a close friend of his father’s. Once he was promoted, he never stopped winning, his military rank increased within the next three years and he was bestowed the title of regional commander of the Eastern Division³The jiedushi (translated as regional commander) were regional military governors. Powerful jiedushi eventually became de facto warlords and overrode the power of the central government.. Not long after, the glorious emperor turned antsy and kept him busy at the border with funding that created a more precarious balance than the precipice I stood at earlier. General Zhou hadn’t returned to the capital in quite some time due to a war with the Khanate⁴A political entity ruled by a khan. Typical for people from the Eurasian Steppe and it can be equivalent to tribal chiefdom, principality, kingdom or empire. at Fei Xuan pass in the Northeast, but that didn’t prevent me from remembering who he was.

Zhou Liang raised one eyebrow, then let it drop. “You know me?”

“My son admires you greatly, and I have seen you pass through on the way to the emperor’s palace.”

“A son?!" His pupils contracted, expression condemning me. Seems I hit a sore spot. "Why did you-” his grip on my wrist tightened, “—you better feel remorse! Your family depends on you to survive and live a good life. Even if they can get by without you, they won’t forget about you. There’s no replacement for a father. Get it?!”

I whispered, “…I know,” then gave a hopeful smile, eyes glazing over as I recalled my children with fondness. “You’re right…my family is waiting for me to return. I’ll go back, please let me go back!”

He wasn't saying anything, considering it with a hand on his chin, making cold sweat break out on my hands.

I said, “I have offended you…I've been rude. I accept my punishment.”

“You haven’t. I won't punish you!” He smiled with more than a little maliciousness. “While you do sound genuine, and there’s no hesitation in your mannerism...I don't know if I can simply let you go. You lied a lot earlier, may as well assume you’re lying.”

…fuck.

He continued, “I’m returning to Xi’an City tomorrow. Before that, I’ll talk with your family. If you’re facing some troubles, I may be able to help. It’s in your best interest to tell me sooner rather than later.”

“Thank you, General Zhou. But…” I lowered my gaze. If I feel exhausted, I must look exhausted. “…can we discuss it after descending the mountain?”

Zhou Liang gave me a careful look over, then nodded. He began leading me along. If I convince him not to do this, it’s suspicious. If I wait for him to lead me into the capital, my lie will be ousted. Who has a son? Not me. I used to have a grandfather, a mother, a father, two brothers and three sisters.

I waited with patience as the hold on my wrist eased. We were closer to the edge of the forest on the plateau, now.

“Ouch!” I jolted to a stop. “I stepped on something…”

Zhou Liang turned just as I finished pulling back a fat pine branch.

I slapped him crisply in the face while twisting my hand out of his grip.

“Hey—!” He grimaced from the branch, but as expected of a general, he could still throw out a hand and grab at me.

I scampered in the opposite direction, but Zhou Liang’s footsteps thundered right behind me. We’re running over a mountain together, how romantic. He caught up fast, so I tossed my outer robe at his head. It flew up like a big blanket while I wound through a grove of trees, and I hoped the time it bought me was enough to gain a distance. 

I heard a slash as his sword cut it down. By then I made it halfway across the plateau and sprinted towards the tree line. I wasn't sure what I would do afterwards. The only thing that's certain is the wild satisfaction I felt slapping the General in the face. So I kept running...

Thwack!

My entirely body recoiled backwards. I was pinned in place.

As I looked behind myself for the source of the sound, I found a short arrow that pierced through the sleeve around my upper arm. I couldn’t get it to budge. It’s hard to tear fabric, but I jerked at it like a fish on a hook.

By the time I’d almost finished Zhou Liang stood directly in front of me with a spectacular red line across his face. We stared at each other in a dead lock of sorts, but when he moved, I braced myself thinking I would be clobbered in the face or stomach.

Nothing. He merely pulled the tie from his hair, put my wrists together behind my back and bound them.

Frowning, he said, “Showed your true colors? Didn't expect you'd be such a weasel! Then I’ve decided, you'll come to my residence for period of time.”

This…this…is even worse than getting beat to pulp. I felt my legs go weak.

“I can’t dare impose," I said.

Zhou Liang paused, then smirked, seeing I was back to pretenses. “Don’t be humble. I insist! There are plenty of empty rooms and accommodations for one person. Work, of course, is waiting for you.”

No...please, not work. Didn't he hear me shout over the mountain earlier, saying I didn't want to work anymore? As I reeled with depression, leaves and twigs sticking out from my hair, Zhou Liang yanked out the arrow, grabbed the tie of my sash, and pulled me along again like he was walking a donkey. We had nearly reached the spot on the plateau where I first came up the weedy path, then would be descending the mountain …

I tried to use several more excuses, but nothing worked. I could tell him my whole life story and he'd probably shrug in disbelief. But there's not much else I can do besides talking. Zhou Liang is a martial artist, military maniac, all too powerful for my feeble arms and legs to resist. I faltered, my heart squeezing and breaths thin like I never stopped running. 

The truth of it is that I should have waited for him to bring me into the capital. I could’ve spun more lies and had a better chance at escaping if I’d cultivated a little more trust first. I didn't want everything to be ruined to be ruined like this, but the longer I stood near Zhou Liang, the more fear, dread, and hopelessness gnawed at me like a dog eating scraps off a bone. The thought of descending the mountain is…terrifying. I'll lose the closure and rest that I've anticipated.

I stopped walking, but he just pulled with more strength. My heels dragged futile lines in the dirt.

“Why do you have to do this? We’ve never met previously, can’t mind your own business?!” he didn't gave any response to my panicking, probably having seen it thousands of times from prisoners and what not.

I grabbed a tree trunk. “Let go! Even if you go to these great lengths, it doesn’t matter. I will still-”

“-ridiculous!” he pried my hands off the tree with a stern glare. “I’m doing this because people like you piss me off. I’ve come up here, gone to all the effort of keeping you alive. Since you don’t have the courage to die in front of me, just give in and reform yourself!”

Everything was clear after that first time. We engaged in a mental struggle and I had the upper hand, but his glare alone was enough to for me to make a retreat. Zhou Liang is the entitled and satisfied victor. It wasn’t that I didn’t have the courage, but because he was there, that’s why I couldn’t do it…I believed it shouldn’t be something a person is forced to see. If only he hadn’t been there.

Seeing I didn’t agree with his words, Zhou Liang gave a scoff of disgust. My world spun as he flung my body over his shoulder like a cloth bundle, when I hung upside down, the wind seemed to rattle my eardrums and there was an incessant ringing.

“Why?” asked Zhou Liang. Of course, this blunt question could only be referring to one matter. The one that puzzled the majority of people in the world that plodded along, getting by in this way and that, thinking of matters like storing rice and wooing a girl.

I pretended not to hear him. After a silence, there was a hard slap on my butt. I bit my mouth to avoid the humility of crying out in pain. 

“Answer!” Zhou Liang was saying it like he'd slap my butt a few more times. 

Likewise, I wanted to slap this General in the face with a tree branch one-thousand times over. I mumbled, “I don’t know.”

“Someone threatened you?”

“No.”

“Guilt?”

“No.”

His voice now gained an undertone of gentleness. “Someone hurting you?”

“Yes. You’re hanging me upside down.”

Zhou Liang only paused before continuing to his next question. “Is it-”

“No, no, no! I don’t know!” I struck my knee to the side in hopes of hitting his face.  

Zhou Liang was not hit. “All right,” he drawled, having mastered the way of speaking with lordly condescension, “I won’t ask more right now. Don't get too riled up, you're older, after all. Take care of your body.”

"..." Great, because if he kept asking, I’d go insane.

Unlike what he wanted, there is by no means a single, clear answer. If there was one, I’m not so stupid to be clueless about it.

The Fang family originally had three sons. Out of them, two died. For my eldest brother, the timing was uncanny in that he had caught a severe illness right before his marriage day. Just a few years later, my second brother died in an accident. Father refrained from trying to have another son for a long period. He believed that he committed some heinous wrong in his past incarnation that caused all his children to have a thin life⁵薄命: Died young.. If he had another child, it too would end up cursed.

For many years, I kept up responsibility for my family. I couldn’t help but love both my father and my mother, even though the relationship between us was so convoluted my head would ache, too knotted to fix itself, and much too disingenuous. Or that’s what I half tried and half pretended to do.

From the fact I’m on this Plum Blossom mountain—the answer to how it turned out is clear, right?

People I knew liked to rise in status, get the best food, women, and drink, luxuries on top of lavishness. Great destinies, grand dreams, and so on. Yet when I climbed up in rank and wealth, the contentment I found was like watered-down liquor. If I went to a banquet where everything was peaceful, where I was surrounded by friends, drinks and merriment, it was about as enjoyable as counting rocks.

I spent each day trying to use up time. Finish up work, eating, getting drunk, having trysts without caring. I didn’t know what I wanted, but I knew that it wasn’t what I had. Even a certified loon such as I can do that much introspection.

…so I abandoned it all.

I left my family. A few years later, I left my occupation. Didn’t care if it was wrong or right. At that point I was already a manipulative rich scum.

I thought maybe I could go somewhere else, try something new. Instead I just spent money and idled around every day as a bum, adding another negative descriptor to my character. This is a little harder to elucidate…taking three years to climb up, only three days to crash down⁶Hard work is easily wasted once one sets foot on the wrong path.. It’s akin to the legendary Mt. Penglai⁷蓬萊仙島 (lit. Penglai Immortal Island); Paradise; a fabled fairy isle on the China Sea, home to immortals. that reaches the clouds and hides in the sea; even if there was something of value waiting at the peak, I couldn’t muster the will to start climbing for it.

What I need is a pot of Meng Po’s soup⁸孟婆; 'Old Lady Meng' is the Lady of Forgetfulness in Chinese mythology. She created a bowl of soup that would allow spirits to forget the suffering of their material life. The brew induces instant and permanent amnesia..

In any case, it wasn’t as though I was weeping in despair and regret as I leaned over the cliff, hoping that anyone would come say they cared. It was the opposite, I finally reached some kind of conclusion by climbing Plum Blossom Mountain. Every thing was wrapped up. I felt the rampaging winds hit my skin down to the bone and pointed to the heavens proud and smiling. Then there was thrill and ease and lightness in my heart.

It felt soaring…it felt good to be alone, and good to be done.

There isn’t anything wrong with that.