Sam had made it clear at this point that he didn’t want to go back on this. So I had no choice but to accept this gift, and hope to somehow make things work out for the both of us.

Kara cleared her throat. “So, I guess first of all I need to know how the two of you feel about your new forms, I think. I knew that becoming a familiar might and likely will change how you look, but I never heard anything about changes this… drastic. This might be because the spell got a little messed up, or there might be some other explanation. Even if we don’t go back on the familiar stuff, there are ways I could make your bodies go back to looking more like you used to. So, basically, what are your thoughts on all this?”

I immediately voiced my excitement. “I love it!” As if to demonstrate, I stood up, jumping in place. None of this was painful in the slightest, it felt amazing. The witch chuckled a little, following me with her eyes. “Yeah, I can imagine that freedom sure is something. However, what about the… other parts? Is it… comfortable? Anything you dislike?”

I concentrated on just the feeling of my body, trying to ignore the general euphoria I was still experiencing just from not being stuck in a hospital bed. It was unusual, sure, but that doesn’t mean it was bad. I didn’t look so terribly skinny anymore, I didn’t mind the curves, and the cat parts were certainly neat. All in all, it just felt right in a way I’ve never felt before. I let myself fall back onto the couch. “Yeah, I don’t mind this. At all.”

Kara smiled, not realizing the bombshell she was about to drop. “Cool. Wanna go by a new name, or..?”

That kinda made my brain just… freeze for a while. Like there was a rotating circle in my head, just waiting for my thoughts to load. Did I want to go by a new name? Being called Jacob always made me feel nothing but awkward, if I was being honest. It always felt like an awkward reminder that I was… me. That I was stuck being this guy who was doomed to die sooner rather than later. And I always thought the doomed-to-die aspect was what made me dislike being called that, and it might have contributed, but looking at things now? Being called Jacob now?

I was no longer bound by my illness, and yet I didn’t feel any better about that name. If anything, the name rang worse in my ears. I hated it, if I was being honest. I had the opportunity to start over, to just be what I wanted to be. And I could stay Jacob if I wanted to. Turn my body back so I looked more like a guy again, keep going by Jacob, maybe even remove the visible cat parts if that’s a possibility. That seemed like the sensible thing to do. But just the thought of going back made me feel sick, almost as bad as I felt back when I used throw up every few days.

I had to face it. Jacob wasn’t who I was. The way I looked, the way people thought of me… that wasn’t who I was. Looking in the mirror and seeing myself, looking like this, pretty clearly a catgirl, not a regular guy or even a catboy? That felt good. That felt right. The cat parts were good but they weren’t what gave me the most euphoria. Though I would miss them if they were gone. Being able to move around was great! But even more than that… my smooth skin I could feel whenever I touched anything, my softer voice that could be both calming and intimidating, the slight curves I could feel… I would be lying if I said I didn’t love this. I loved looking in the mirror and seeing a girl. I loved talking now, after only saying what was necessary throughout my whole life. This was me. I was a girl. A catgirl, even!

Now I just needed a name.

“I’ll… get back to you with that. I’m gonna have to think a bit.”

She seemed a little worried from me just bluescreening on her, but just nodded. “Sure, take your time.”

I looked down at Sam - gosh, that was a weird feeling - and saw him with his knees pushed against his now significantly larger chest, looking down. I felt alright like this, but what about him? His changes were far more significant, and he wasn’t bound to die before all this, unlike me. I tried to read his impression, but it was just… blank? I just hoped he was doing okay. I couldn’t imagine what could possibly be going on in his head right now.

Sam

Jacob’s willingness to accept their body honestly blew me away. Part of me wondered how I never noticed, in spite of being their best friend for so long. But… another part seemed almost happy at the idea that this was also an option. That it was okay to accept this.

As I pulled my legs closer to my body, I realized that this actually wasn’t too bad… I wasn’t intimidating enough to protect Jacob, no way, but maybe that was okay, too? They seemed capable enough of that now, judging from when they glared at Kara… I didn’t want to abandon them, no way, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Jacob up on their legs again.

But also, was this really okay? I just got dragged into this. What if the spell stopped working on me over time and I would turn back because it got all messed up? This was just… all a lot and I wished I knew what to do.

I felt an arm wrap around my back and got yanked out of my thoughts. I looked up at Jacob and saw them stare back in concern and gosh, those green eyes did something to me. I don’t remember them ever looking at me like this before… It was usually the other way around, even if I did try to avoid it because I know they disliked getting special treatment. But this? The look in their eyes was so strong and pure that I couldn’t help but blush.

And with them looking at me, and me melting into their embrace, I felt something inside of me break. It was, worryingly enough, the feeling of always wanting to be there for them. But I still wanted to be there for them!

I gathered my thoughts. The sentiment that broke wasn’t that. It was different. It was trying to always be there for my sick friend, denying myself the care and attention I needed in the process. I always cared for them, but never for myself. Recently, I stretched myself way too thin just to be there for them every day. And that’s not bad in itself, but the more I thought back on how I used to treat myself, I realized that I just used them as an outlet for all the care I denied myself. Now I finally found it in myself to care about what I wanted, and I felt like I was going to cry because I’ve now accidentally found something I did actually want.

My height has always just been convenient, not for myself, but for protecting Jacob. Even so, there was always an inherent sense of wrongness to it that I stubbornly ignored. I didn’t care for my body, or any relationships outside of my friendship with Jacob. I just went to college and powered through because of a dumb promise we both made back in high school that I knew full well they wouldn’t be able to follow up on by the time I enrolled, but I didn’t wanna disappoint them. How stupid.

I tried to look for anything substantial that I’ve ever done for myself and myself only and came up blank. I couldn’t help but stammer out a little “Oh…”

So, it was decided then. I was going to make a choice according to my own needs and wants for once. I was going to give this whole thing a shot. I didn’t know why exactly I was so ready to accept this, but I decided to just listen to my gut for once. Just roll with this and figure out the details later. But first, I wanted to see what exactly I was getting into. I realized that I hadn’t really seen myself since I became like this, and while I knew deep down that it wouldn’t change my decision, I still just wanted to know what I looked like.

I gently moved my friend’s arm out of the way and got up. “I’m just gonna… go see what I look like since I haven’t done that yet.” After the initial weirdness, I really didn’t mind my voice all that much. It felt right, like it just slotted right into place.

The imbalance I felt in my body has steadily disappeared as I got used to my new size - walking back was a pretty… normal experience, for the lack of a better word and made me almost forget I’d only been like this for about an hour. As I got to the place where I woke up, I could see some of the clothes that fell off me after I came to - my pants, shoes, socks and underwear, lying next to my backpack.

I braced myself for a second, breathing in, then out, and stepped in front of the mirror. I don’t know what I expected myself to look like, but this blew whatever I would have expected out of the water. Though I didn’t know by which measure, exactly.

I definitely expected to look different, just as my friend did, but I could still recognize parts of them as uniquely them - such as their eyes or their smile. As for me, though? I was pretty much unrecognizable. My hair was still roughly the same color and I guess it might’ve looked like that had I gone through and grown it out, but my face was way different, way cuter, looking back at me with an inquisitive look. On top of it were two round mouse ears, and a tail hanging down behind me. I tried moving it, and I could make it swing from side to side. That was pretty neat.

My old shirt was hanging loosely over my body, making for a better approximation of a dress than I would’ve initially assumed. It was hanging all the way down to my knees, loosely covering my body. I could make out the shape of my boobs and hips underneath, my body clearly not fit at all for this old shirt, but in spite of that I couldn’t bring myself to say I hated it. Or even disliked it. In fact, this really wasn’t that bad at all. It was like a weight that I never knew was there had been lifted from my shoulder - in this case quite literally, as I lost probably a good foot of height. But it wasn’t just that I felt lighter… it’s like an inherent wrongness that used to be there was gone.

I moved around in front of the mirror for a while, observing my body. I don’t recall ever really paying this much attention to myself before. I tried making a variety of faces, making myself giggle, I turned around a few times, observed my now smooth legs and just kind of fell in love with this body. It was attractive, sure, but this wasn’t really that kind of love. It wasn’t like I was looking at some other woman. I loved this body, knowing full-well it was me. It was a kind of love I’d never experienced before. I loved moving around in it, I loved how it felt just being me. On the outside one might think I would be more vulnerable now, what with my loss of height, but if anything I felt safer than ever before.

I breathed in, then out, seeing my chest rise in the mirror, then fall again. This was it. I liked this, this was good, this was important, nobody was going to stop me from going through with this. This was just for me and me alone and that was okay.

I looked at myself in the mirror, trying my best to look confident, though all it really did was make me realize once again that I was pretty cute now. With those thoughts in the back of my mind, I braced myself and decided to return to the living room to announce my decision.