"Oh, fuck me," I whined.

"Yeah?" Adam called out from the kitchen.

"I'm not talking to you!" I called back. I sighed and put down my razor.

I was sitting on the toilet in our bathroom, shaving my legs. I had started shaving pretty quick after I started wearing leggings. I had never had much body hair, but it still felt weird, like my leg hairs were getting tangled up in the super tight, stretchy fabric. So, I started shaving my legs, and then figured I looked kinda strange with just my legs shaved, so I ended up shaving my arms, and my pits, and then pretty much all of my body. I had felt a little nervous about shaving my private parts, but I figured no girls would want, like, a mouth full of hair if I ever convinced one to go down on me. I ended up compromising and leaving a neat little triangle of hair. Over all, I thought it looked pretty good!

It had only been a week since the last time I shaved, so I was pretty much just tidying up this morning. I had just finished making my little triangle nice and neat when I got the email from work.

REMINDER: Quarterly Employee Review Meeting, 4:00 PM today.

"Fuck me," I groaned again.

"What's up?" said Adam, poking his head around the door.

"EXCUSE ME!" I shrieked, leaping up off the toilet and clasping both hands over my dick and balls. Adam whipped his head back around the corner.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he called out, "I thought you had finished showering!"

"I'm shaving, you ass!" I yelled back. I grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapped it around my waist. I was still kind of thrilled that after a couple months of diet and exercise, I actually had a waist I could wrap a towel around. I already had my hair wrapped up in another towel, after shampooing and conditioning it. "Okay, I'm covered up."

Adam entered the bathroom sheepishly. I stood with one hand on my hip, my chest still heaving a bit from the shock of getting walked in on.

"I'm really sorry," he said, "I was in the kitchen, I thought you said "Come hug me," or something, and..."

"And my sweet prince just had to come and deliver the goods," I teased.

"I can never say no to a beautiful princess in need," he retorted. After that one morning when Adam had watched me working out, we had both kept up the pet names joke. So far, Adam hadn't cracked, and I didn't really feel like stopping either.

"Well don't worry about the hug, because I was actually saying "Fuck me," Adam," I said. I held up my phone, "I just got an email from work. Apparently they want me to come in for an employee review."

"I thought you worked from home?" Adam said. He leaned back against the side of the door. He was just wearing shorts and a white shirt, along with the plain black apron he always wore for cooking. He looked great, like a muscly blacksmith on the cover of a romance novel.

"I do," I said. About a year and a half ago, I had realised that 90% of my data entry job could be done automatically with some pretty simple code. So I had done it, and then realised that sharing this information with my boss would probably result in most of my coworkers losing their jobs. I figured the safest thing to do would be to keep it to myself, but I used my secret to make myself the most efficient worker, and used my leverage to ask my boss to let me work from home. Now I let my code handle all the work while I played video games or did aerobics. Perfect. Almost.

"I forgot this meeting was coming up," I said, "It'll probably be totally chill, I'll just go in, they'll congratulate me for being so efficient, and then I can go back to slacking off for three more months."

"So what's the problem?" Adam asked.

I held out my arms, letting my chest jiggle freely, "What am I gonna wear? I only have, like, one set of nice work clothes, and they're gonna be insanely baggy now."

Adam grinned, "They totally are. Nice work bro."

He held out his hand for a fist bump. I rolled my eyes. He kept smiling at me, so I eventually broke and fist bumped him.

"Okay, thank you," I said, "But I guess I'm actually gonna have to leave the apartment and go shopping."

Adam's jaw dropped, "You haven't left the apartment in three months!?"

"Shut up!" I laughed, "Just in the past couple of weeks. I'm always just wearing, like, a sports bra and leggings, or panties and an old t-shirt, or something. I can't go outside like that! Besides, you make all my food, I buy new video games online, we already have every Michelle Champion DVD... what would I go outside for?"

"To hang out with people?" Adam said.

I shrugged, "I prefer talking to people online. Then they don't have to look at me."

Adam sighed, "Mel..."

"I know, I know," I said, "Okay, fine. I am going to leave the apartment today, just because it's so important to you. And because I am contractually obligated to. But after that, I'm locking myself up for the next three months."

"So sad," sighed Adam, "A beautiful princess locked away in a tower."

I grinned, "Okay, fine. Today's Friday, right? You're still going clubbing tonight?"

"Actually, a guy who used to work at the gym just opened up a new bar. I was gonna check it out. Maybe actually meet someone who doesn't just want to... y'know," Adam shrugged, but I could see by the way his cheeks reddened that this was actually a big deal for him.

"That's awesome, dude!" I said. I punched his shoulder, "Okay, my meeting is at 4, it should only take half an hour tops. I'll go buy TWO outfits today, then come straight back here after the meeting to change and we can go to the bar together! I'll totally be your wingman!"

"Bro, yes!" said Adam, "I'll be your wingman too, we can help each other get laid!"

"Haha, great," I said. Inside I was kind of freaking out. I REALLY wasn't comfortable in bars, and I was hoping Adam just wouldn't mention me getting laid either. I still didn't feel ready to talk to girls. I was getting stronger and more toned, but I had so much extra fat on my arms and legs, and my chest and butt still felt huge. When I was really in shape, then I could go for it. But there was no way I could lose my virginity looking like I did now.

But Adam didn't need to know that, so I just smiled and nodded. Adam went back to the kitchen, and I finished shaving, then exfoliated and moisturised to make sure I didn't get any ingrown hairs or anything. After I finished moisturising, I took my hair out of the towel. It was nearly dry, so I sprayed it with a little texturising spray and put it into a fishtail braid, so it would be nice and wavey when I undid it. Ever since Adam had complimented my hair all those weeks ago, I had been putting more effort into styling it, and apparently waves were super stylish right now, especially with longer hair like mine.

I didn't really care that much about how good I looked for my review. But I definitely didn't want to embarrass Adam when we went out. Poor guy really needed to end his dry spell.

So that meant I had to go shopping.