yakusu

I tried something in this chapter, so it's a little bit different from previous chapters..

            I cautiously opened my eyes, afraid in front of Nona...I anticipated seeing Nona's face in front of me...Thank the gods, or perhaps I shouldn't thank the goddess again after that, but Nona wasn't in front of me. Instead, it was a ceiling I was familiar with...I was lying in my bed...

            My hands were still trembling...Even though Nona wasn't directly in front of me, I was still terrified by her presence.Suddenly, I noticed some tears pouring from my eyes...I had no idea I was crying right now... My hands trembled uncontrollably as my thoughts returned to Nona. Her presence haunted me, even if she wasn't physically present. I recognised this as tears flowed down my cheeks. Depth of my fear and how it had affected me emotionally. 

            When the door was opened, I instantly cleansed my face, particularly my tears. I didn't want anyone to see me crying. After washing my face, I looked at the door and wondered who had unlocked it...Lady Octavi, I had an unexpected visitor...Seeing her here meant that my father and mother had sent her for a cause...

            She dashed up to the side of my bed, knelt, and whispered, "You have woken up, my lady.."

            I said with a faltering tone, "La..dy…Octavi…you..are…here……"

            "Are you alright, my lady?" she inquired, her face concerned.

            "I…am…alright…"

            It was her eyes that looked at me, and she asked a question I didn't want to hear, "Were you just crying, my lady?"

            "I…wasn't…"

            "You can just tell me…" She sat alongside me on the bed, held both of my arms, and murmured, "It's okay..."I am with you..."

            “I…was…—”

            The door was suddenly opened. Some familiar people appeared: Valaria, Cassius, Adel...and...Crown Prince? 

           I observed the crown prince's...I kept staring at him, and it reminded me of Nona. I could see her terrifying presence, her smile, and her awful presence beside him. He approached me step by step, and hearing his footsteps reminded me of hers...His appearance began to mirror hers as we drew closer, which horrified and panicked me. As the Crown Prince neared, his features began to take on a terrifying similarity to Nona. Fear and panic gripped me even tighter as memories of her ominous presence flooded my thoughts. I couldn't shake the feeling that something sinister was about to unfold. 

            "AHHHH!!" I yelled as I pointed at her. SHE'S ON HER WAY!! SHE'S ON HER WAY!! "SHE'S COME FOR ME!!" I drew my blanket over my head to hide from her... 

            Lady Octavi's voice came to me, and she murmured quietly, "My lady..."Is something wrong??"

            "GO AWAY!!" I just kept yelling.

            "But…He is the Crown Prince, and he has come to meet you..."

            "JUST TELL HER TO GO AWAY!!"
            "It's the crown prince, my lady..."To whom are you referring?"

            I continued telling her to leave...

            I heard footsteps exit the room a few moments later...I peered out from under my cover to see what had happened to her and the crown prince...Only Adel and Lady Octavi remained...I covered my face with my blanket...I looked at Lady Octavi; her face was concerned... "Are you all right?" she inquired gently. "What made you want the crown prince to go?" 

            "........I'M…..SCARED…"

            "Scared?? What frightens my lady? "What are you afraid of?" 

            "SCARED OF DIE.."

            "Die?? Who is going to die?"

            "I AM…"

            Lady Octavi and Adel were both taken aback.

            "WHO'S THREATING YOU IN PALACE, MY LADY?"
            ..

            "NO ONE…I'VE ONLY SEEN MY OWN DEATH..."

            Adel realized what was going on and asked, "Did my lady have a nightmare like seven years ago??"

            "Nightmare??" Lady Octavi asked at Adel.

            "She had a nightmare one night about her dead scenario."

            "Is that true, my lady?" Lady Octavi questioned me, turning to face me.

            I just remained silent in there. When Lady Octavi noticed this, she rose up and exclaimed,

      "Perhaps it's best to bring Sofia here...my lady, she is the one who knows and treats well...However, it will take her five days to arrive.  That isn't enough time..."

            Is there not enough time? What was she on about? "Why does it mean 'not enough time,'" I inquired.

            "I almost forgot to tell you, dear lady...That you have been unconscious for a week."

            I was a bit startled. "A WEEK??"

            "Yes…And there will be a party in the palace in three days...I heard you received an invitation from the Crown Prince...That's why I say Sofia doesn't have enough time to come here..."

            The party...Did I have to go in there? At first, I tried to keep the main character from becoming too close to the crown prince.  However, after witnessing what Nona did to Delia...I was afraid to deviate from the book.

            Lady Octavi was at the front of the door when she left the room. "DO YOU BELIEVE IN FATE, LADY OCTAVI?" I questioned.

            "Pardon, my lady?" she asked.

            “DO YOU BELIEVE IN FATE OR DESTINY?”

            "What is this fate you're talking about?" she said as she went back towards me.

            "For instance, the fate of death—do you believe it?"

            "If it's my fate to die, of course I believe it…"

            "But what if you know you're going to die? Do you want to alter it or prevent it?"

            "Does everyone always change their own course of fate, my lady?"

            "What do you mean?"

            "A lot of people have already changed the course of their own fate, like people are trying to make a sum of coins to change their own lives."

            "That's quite different...Our fate of death is in the hands of the goddess, therefore if you already know your fate of death, do you want to change or avoid it? Even the goddess has made it clear that you will die tomorrow."

            "If it's for my own survival, of course I will try to prevent it…"

            "Even if you face the goddess, whom will try to kill you?"

            "Of course, even though in the end I will die, whether old age or killed, I have altered my own death…"

            "Thanks for the answer, Lady Octavi…"

            “Everything for you, my lady, and how about the crown prince?”

            “Tell him! I need some time and some space…I will be absent from court for now…”

            “What about the party?”

            “I will rethink it again…For now, I want to be alone…”

            “And about Sofia?”

            “You can call her to come here…Is there anything again from you?”

            “I believe that’s it, my lady…”

            Lady Octavi left the room, where Adel still kept staying inside my room. I told Adel, to let me alone in the room and bring the meal to my room, when it’s time for breakfast, lunch, or dinner…Right now, I wanted to stay inside my room…

            Adel nodded at me and left the room…

            On the bed, I just laid on it. After watching, the death of one of the goddesses was surreal for me. The divine being or deity was just easily killed like a mortal in front of her. If a divine being could be easily killed like that, how about a mortal being? Yet, Nona told me that letting mortals kill other mortals meant her paragons would come to try to kill me. Whether they would kill me like in the book or instantly kill me even if it was not written in the book.

            I got up from lying on the bed when I realised something.

            “In that time, Gena mentioned ‘her paragons’, which meant Nona has some of her people as paragons in this world.” I looked at the book on the desk and said, “What happened if all twelve figures are the paragon from Nona, It mean Cassius and Valerie are very likely paragons of Nona…Was I making a huge mistake by recruiting them?” 

            As I pondered over the possibility of Cassius and Valerie being paragons of Nona, doubts began to creep into my mind. What if I had made a grave error in recruiting them? Could they potentially turn against me, just like the characters in the book? These questions weighed heavily on my conscience, leaving me uncertain about the choices I had made. 

            Even though there were some differences between the book and reality, the most obvious were transmutation and the presence of the goddesses. Did all of these bind each other? There would be no transmutation if there were no goddesses. Maybe I needed to learn about this transmutation for the future; I couldn’t always rely on Adel, even though she was so strong, according to Cassius and what I had seen. As I contemplated the significance of transmutation and the role of the goddesses, I couldn't help but wonder if my reliance on Adel was hindering my own growth. Perhaps it was time for me to embark on a journey of self-discovery and learn to harness the power of transmutation myself.