Orzella, Elene, and Nella all line up outside the room in the hallway. They wore elegant blue gowns with black corsets. I could tell they were black hosiery with those brown-heeled boots. Each has their long black hair styled to their unique looks. Orzella, hair is braided into a long ponytail. Nella has twin buns for her style. Elene went with twin pigtails. She was the only one of the three wearing glasses. I hadn't known this practical tool was even available in this era.
In my old world, this would have been an accessory to many people who didn't need them. Now, they look like perfect angels compared to their previous attire. I was amazed at their beauty. 'I made the right decision. I didn't know those other four young men or those who died during the attack. What I will do is honor their memory by protecting these three. So they won't have to resort to such things again as thievery.'
"Looks like you're ready. Come on, I heard this would be a long trip," I said.
"Yes, Milord," they said in unison.
'There's a way they can be useful. I'll figure it out. An opportunity they can take advantage of. Every person should have a skill they can use later in life.' They fell in line behind me. It didn't feel right for all these people to follow me, but I was the Count's son. That wasn't going to change anytime soon. Now, I need to make my way to the inner courtyard.
The brief trip through the Castle gave me a better understanding of the layout. Having memories helped, but seeing them for myself was helpful. Lady Aiko and Count Asa are waiting together with Sir Duncan and Josiah. Lord Alfred was there with them, too. He's assembled an impressive caravan. This time a company of our House Guards is escorting us all the way to the Capital. Sir Duncan walks up to me. His armor is different now, matching that of Sir Josiah—a shining white clad of armor with golden outlines. The coat over their chest is the symbol of the Kingdom of Paris. I noticed a dozen other Knights waiting with our House Guard.
"Isn't this a bit overboard for a simple trip to the Capital?" I questioned.
My inquiry is valid. I recall traveling there many times. Yes, the trip is a lengthy undertaking, given that our lands are far from the core of the Kingdom. However, neither of those trips involved a small army of this size.
"I see that you are well, young master. Your performance yesterday evening is the cause for all this protection. I am impressed with your development. To manifest a magic aptitude at your age is magnificent. Not only that, but all your hard work has paid off. The duel we had yesterday proves my opinion that you have what it takes to become a Knight. For that, you get your own horse," Sir Duncan said.
The blonde Knight held the reins of a beautiful black horse of the highest breed. He gave the reins.
"This is Raven. According to my knowledge, she is the fastest horse in the Kingdom for a young Lord," Sir Duncan said.
"I don't know what to say," I said.
"You only need to take good care of her. Now, it's time to depart. The trip is a long one to the Capital," Sir Duncan said as Sir Josiah beckoned the caravan to be ready.
I rode the horse for the first time. It feels familiar. All those stunts I did with horses came back to me. When I rub Raven's mane, it is as if the horse already knows me. Count Asa rides up beside me. Lady Aiko boards her personal carriage. I can't say I was ready for a long journey in a world I barely know, but I'll face it head-on. The convoy rustles to life. Two columns of House Guards rode out on black horses with a dozen Royal Knights behind them. Sir Duncan and Josiah fell in, behind the warriors, with Count Asa, me, and Lady Aiko's carriage. One hundred House Warriors march behind her carriage, followed by seven other carriages. Leading the way is Lord Alfred, accompanied by a group of hoods. Those must be the Guild Mages.
I see the Castle for the first time when the gates open. The White stoned architecture is stunning and majestic. The towers flew the banners of our House use and the Kingdom. A massive crowd of servants bid us farewell. Many seem to shed tears at the departure of a beloved Count. In my mind, I remembered how quickly he enacted justice for those four poor souls. Yet, as we enter the city, more people cheer for Count Asa and Lord Alfred. They wave and call both men's names respectfully.
The settlement itself, called Annedale, is breathtakingly beautiful. The city boasts a multitude of structures that exhibit similar architectural styles. My memories alone bring images of every inch of the magnificent city. Here, there are no slums. Even the typical people experiencing poverty here were well-to-do, considering that to be unusual in the medieval era. It begs the question of where Orzella and her sisters come from.
Annedale is one of many major cities in this region. Allendale, Winterdale, Ellendale, and Primdale are the diamonds of the Martindale family. I knew this region like the back of my hand. Three other grand families rule this region. House Cardoza, Winfield, and McElroy. All branch families to the King like our family. There are so many details about my family and the local area in my head, but that is all I have to say about them. Outside the four cardinal mountain ranges, I knew nothing. I've been to the Capital before, many times. Yet, nowhere else. Was that because my family held great sway in this walled peninsula?' I rode up next to Sir Josiah.
"I have a question. What's outside the cardinal mountains?" I questioned.
"Hmm, that is an interesting question, Milord. The truth is, we don't know. The Golden Peninsula is the westernmost reach of the Kingdom. To the North are the cardinal mountains known as the Frozen Expanse. They are impassable for two hundred leagues. The west is the same as the Black Rock Spire. To the south are the Deep Mountains. They sit at the edge of the Black Ocean, the world's deepest, most dangerous ocean—only fools and the insanely brave tread those waters. Finally, the east is the home of the Iron Rock Range. The only passage to the east into the heart of the Kingdom," Sir Josiah explained.
"No one's tried traveling past them? Not even with magic?" I asked.
"Many have Milord, and many have never returned," the Knight said.
'That was unpleasant news. My whole world, up to now, has known nothing beyond the three unknown frontiers surrounding my homeland. A very unsettling prospect. This land is abundantly rich, yet an air of mystery surrounds it.' Then, finally, the walls of the city come into view. Hundreds of feet high curtain walls surround the region's Capital. I almost didn't notice between listening to Sir Josiah and the cheers and chants of the enthralled citizens. As we pass through the enormous gates, the grandeur of this city becomes apparent. Hundreds wait outside to enter as hundreds more leaves in front and behind our convoy.
Outside the walls, the city continues. In fact, we passed through three more of these indomitable walls before finally exiting the medieval metropolis. There had to be well over a million people living here. Maybe even millions. After this is straight farmland and forests as far as the eyes can see, and the bright paved road seems to go on into infinity. It was well-kept, and we traveled. This Kingdom must be insanely prosperous. The present moment is brought back to my attention as the caravan halts. Lord Alfred rides back to where Count Asa and I are.
"Milord, there is an unexpected yet pleasant surprise on the road ahead," the Lord said.
He hands me this black object. Count Asa pulls one out for himself and puts it into one of his eyes. 'Ah, a looking scope.' I do the same and look through the 'looking scope' in the same direction. Ahead on the horizon were the banners for House Martindale. Another convoy was coming this way.
"Looks like my girls are making a surprise visit. It is around time for the Academy to take a short break. I wonder which of them has returned?" Count Asa revealed.
"Perfect timing indeed," Lord Alfred said.
How the MC is handling the whole enslaving the 3 women thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth. He tries to come off as enslaving them is righteous instead of just sentencing them to death. They robbed and almost killed him and his mother, there are no excuses for that. If you will enslave them, stop fretting over it and caring if you're coming off as a rapist or a pervert. I am not sure how to word how wrong it feels, it's like the author is waffling between needing the 3 beautiful slaves for a reason in the story but doesn't want people to think the MC is a gross pervert.
I understand what you are saying, but remember, he frees them from being sentenced to death. He was not the one being threatened with extinction; he is a reincarnated soul from a world like ours where we don't execute people unless the crime is heinous. Asa (the original owner of the body died in the attack), but the person reincarnated has not mentioned his original name, only the name of his wife, who also died in the car wreck. The whole point was to show that his morals are different from those of this new world he finds himself in; thus, he does not comprehend the relationships he has with the people of this world. Anyone from our world dropped into a sudden situation where they have to decide to end someone's life without knowing anything about the world would be cautious, but he only has two choices: Enslave or sentence them to death. Remember, these women are young, not battle-hardened warriors. They were used to carry out an assassination attempt by manipulating them to believe the targets of the assassination attempt were the bad guys.
SPOILER ALERT: He does free the three beautiful young ladies who are 17 at this time, and NO, he does NOT sleep with them while they are under 18 years of age. The girls come from a poverty-stricken part of the country and blame the upper class for being poor. The reason is far beyond your standard noble class and more profound. A person from any civilized modern society would be hard-pressed to sentence underage individuals to death and considered barbaric. Also, remember, the MC is not native to this world despite having the memories of the Asa. There is a disconnect between him and the life of Asa. His mother and sisters strongly resemble his wife, who, to him, he was just with before waking up in this world. To him, his mother and sisters are nothing more than clones of his wife. It will take time for him to come to terms with his new reality, but that does not change how his mind operates now. Also, he has an older sister who is over 18.
Thank you for your comment and I appreciate your feedback.
he didn't have only two choices though. he could have chosen banishment after public shaming for example, where hypothetically if they illegally enter the city again they would be executed on the spot. another could've been life imprisonment which while uncommon in medieval times wasn't ground breaking. (merely refuting your point of there's only two options )
also not all modern world people are soft marshmallows. and some IRL peeps actually have an above 100 IQ unlike our current MC. but nah seriously though, MC really shouldn't be this passive about his situation. he should've confronted his mother(possibly former wife) about his situation even if subtly by dropping hints, asked for if not just plain stated he's to have a longer recuperation period after his mana overload and recent 'trauma' or whatever. etc.
lastly MC having sexual morals? boring! LOL where the character folly at, making bad choices and facing the consequences of those choices are what makes these more slice of life style stories interesting.though that half joke said, i'm guessing the cest comes later and probably with his mother or siblings which is good probably. MC not going full tilt from get go should lead to better character development.
biggest suggestion i can give you author is to have MC's thought have more depth to them. emotion versus logic, analyzing the complexities of his situations and choices to the best of his limited abilities (we get some of this), hang ups and traumas with repetitive or otherwise circular thoughts (severely need more of this), then growth form the established baseline. with some growth being in bad directions (power corrupts and all that). you have most of these to an extent, but i think you'd be better off with double the current amount, and better timing where MC will be broken out of his thoughts while he's still in a fairly bewildered emotional state.
hope my advice helps!
@loshi1505 Wow, this advice is going to help out on all our stories, its way better than asking for advice on reddit. This is probably the best advice and feedback we have received. We've been being so cautious because most all the threads I read on reddit bash authors for having MC's that don't fall into a certain category and that they have to be the way they want them to be. I've never gotten any good feedback asking questions related to MC's. They all have to be like what everyone sees in manga and anime.
@Beyltwinsauthors for some reason, lots of people think they want self insert characters. yet for some reason it seems more well established characters are generally more popular. for kicks to ~totally~ make myself look like a redditor and because they're actually good references to study, take light yagami from death note for example. he's not your generic jap self insert study fetish harem romcom MC, he had goals (starting somewhat noble). and he planned to fallow though on a reasonable amount of them even without the death note. then while he faced ups and downs power eroded his morals. (which is good 'bad' development i talk about)
the one thing i'd advise to be aware of though is how much the second half of death note light changed and became an idiot after the anime director changed. with the focus shifting form the characters folly and 'bad' growth to a more moralistic oriented overtone. hyper focusing on lights god complex and in turn making his character an idiot compared to his former self. what should have happened imo, is his realization of his 'perfect society' is complete his protege has been well trained, and light is almost ready to step down. but he finally comes to the realization he is the last monster that need slain. he doesn't want to kill himself, so he spirals into an existential crisis over all the sh*t he's done and how wrong he's been. and starts destroying what he created bringing about his own (semi-desired) downfall in the process.
another (better imo but) slightly less popular series i'd recommend would be code geass. damn near EVERY character in code geass lelouch of the rebellion is well defined and actually matter as you track their movements though the story. lelouch the MC is similar to light yagami but makes more hard choices that he'd rather not make than light does. also note lelouch is EXTREMELY goal oriented he supposedly planned to do his hostile takeover in some form or another with or without the power of geass he was gifted. and a character with the best folly in that series would be lelouch's long time rival and best friend suzaku. but the thing to pay most attention to is the emotional growth both are pretty much forced to go though. sometimes forced due to their own choices, other times forced by the choices others have made for them.
yes i know i'm doing no more than what some redditors have done probably, but i'm doing my best to explain 'why' i'm citing these series as good/decent reference material. instead of just citing them and saying be more like them. so i hope you can read into my take on these series, the characters themselves, and maybe even the complexities and failings of the plots provided.
good luck author bros!
Thank you for your feedback. We really appreciate it more than you realize. Code geass is one of my favorites. We’re working on another series that is a cultivator system or the leveling system. I’m not sure what the term is, but we’ve read and watched a lot of anime's like those lately. The new story is already 30 chapters in but we haven’t posted it yet.
@Beyltwinsauthors sorry to say but your new story doesn't sound like my taste at all. good luck though.
when it comes to power fantasy stuff i'd say [The Eminence in Shadow] would be more my cup of tea, as it's partially a satire. where the serious parts have MC abandon everything in his pursuit of power and looking 'cool'. i've not read the manga or LN of it and only seen the anime, but i'm still convinced there's some reality altering effect going on where the typical plot armor of 'MC is almost always right' about his guesses and BS posturing.
but anyways, i took a quick look at your profile page to look at the series you have published. and i must ask, are you going to be fine with how many stories your writing for? one of the typical traps WN authors seem to fall into is making a crap ton of series and never finishing a single one of them. sometimes burn out getting to them, other times life or mental issues. pretty much all the time they just up and make a new account to repeat their folly as well, thus not even building up a name and consistent reader base for them too.
@loshi1505 We plan on finishing all the ones we have posted, and we are ahead by several chapters on all of them, we just take a little more time to edit them before posting them. Many are already finished but not posted to completion. On Wattpad, only three stories are not complete, the rest are already finished. On Webnovel, only two stories are posted, and the other ones are all past chapter 30, and we will only post after reaching chapter 100 in any of them. Since 150 is the minimum requirement for a contract, that is the standard we go by, but I am not sure if we will do another contract story. Not finishing a series is one of our biggest worries, which is why we try to stick to a monthly posting schedule to give ourselves time to write. That’s probably why updates on ScribbleHub and Wattpad have been slow. The series on Webnovel requires daily updates and at the moment, we are only chapter 110 and are heading towards ending it at 150 or a few chapters after that.
Any other stories we plan to post will be well ahead in chapters, and we will focus on the story plots and characters. Especially the MC. Again, thanks for your feedback.