Sunlight streaming in. I blinked a few times in it. Beeping sounds all around me. Tetsu's hand was in my hand, warm. Like a dream. He was asleep on his stiff hospital chair, his head dropped to his chest. I watched his chest go up and down. 

I thought to myself, evaluating things. I had a headache above my left eye. I could feel his hand, which meant my hands weren't numb. I shifted my legs. They moved. My eyebrow raised. I was hungry. 

I felt kind of alert. I felt kind of...good. Better than I had in a while. A long while. 

I didn't want to wake him, though. He was asleep. 

I yawned. Stretched. I guess this movement did it. I saw him move beside me. I looked over at him, in wonder. His eyes opened, and he immediately saw my eyes. He jumped a little bit, and I smiled. Smiled wide. I felt like I was dreaming. There was no other explanation. I felt too good. I only felt this good in dreams. Like I could go anywhere in the world and not get tired.

"You're awake. Hi, darling. How are you today?" He asked, smiling back at me. 

"Oh, I feel good. How are you?" I beamed at him. 

His eyes went huge. His mouth dropped open. He froze. 

"Huh?" I asked quietly. I leaned up on my elbow, giving him a better look. "Are you okay?"

His face crumpled. Suddenly, he was crying. Gasping sobbing. Big tears rolling down his face. "Sana-a," he said between his sobs, "Sana-a..." 

He got up from his chair, dove onto the bed with me.

"What- hey," I breathed, gentle now. His arms grabbed me, and his face was on my chest. He was holding me so tightly. Grabbing me over and over again, from all parts of my back, trying to get a grip on me. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, too. "What's wrong? Darling, what's wrong?"

He hiccupped in his sobs. Crying with abandon. His voice was filling my ears, so loud. I gasped. Oh no. "Did... Did someone pass away?" I asked, so gentle for him. "Who was it? Oh no, Tetsu... Who passed away?" 

He shook his head slowly. That wasn't it. What was it, then?

"What is it, then? Please tell me. Oh, darling. Please tell me what's wrong." 

Small words from him, muffled, because he wouldn't stop holding me so tight. "You don't know what happened?"

"Huh?" 

I looked down at the top of his head. He looked up at me, his face so red. I kissed his forehead, the closest part of him to me. His lower lip trembled, and his face went back down, and I heard tiny crying from him again. 

"I was wishing this would happen. That you would come back. Am I dreaming?" I heard his muffled words. 

"Am I dreaming? What's happening, huh? That I would come back? What do you mean?" I started to stroke the top of his head. His hair felt good in my hand. So smooth and fluffy. Black fluffy stuff. I loved it.

He positioned himself face to face with me, but never stopped holding me. Slowly and with great care, he began to tell me the story. Of how he'd found me in bed with him, shaking. That he and his papa had taken me to the hospital. How I'd been out of it, it seemed, and might not have understood what was going on, and now that was confirmed. That it was my low blood sugar problem, and they were trying to figure out a way to stabilize it. That now it seemed, maybe they had, or had enough, that I "was back". 

"I remember a few things. There was a time, I think you were holding me, and there were whales?" I asked this like a question, because I wasn't sure. Maybe it had been a dream. He smiled, a small silent laugh, maybe, inside of himself. That's what it looked like. Embarrassment?

"I was telling you the story of Cetus the whale. I may have embellished a bit. I said whales were dancing in the sky."

I beamed at him, and he grinned at my smile. "Yes, I remember this! You said there were whales in the stars." I put my head on his shoulder, so happy to remember this, smiling so much. 

"Yes. I was trying to paint a pretty picture for you. I wanted you to be happy. I wanted..." He became quiet. I became face to face with him again, and I saw he was crying. His eyes going more red, shiny. He pressed his lips together. His breaths became fast.

"Don't cry," I said, in a whisper, tears starting to come, too, at his tears. "I love you."

"I- I love you," he said, and my words had been unsuccessful. His face collapsed in his tears again. My hand went to the back of his head, and put his face on my shoulder. I held it there gently, and he held me even tighter. He began rocking me slowly back and forth, as I loved. He cried quietly, and I did, too. We cried for a long time.

Something major had happened. That much I could gather. Something major had to have happened, for him to cry like this. What was the scope of it? Had I...

"Tetsu," I said, after a long while. He straightened up, looked at me face to face again. So close to me. "Did I... Did I almost die, or- or something? Is that why..." My eyebrows creased. I found myself speechless.

His lip popped out, and the corners of his mouth went down. He let out a sob, and he just nodded. 

Oh. Ohhh. My eyes squinted in my realization. I pulled him close again, and held him. 

"I'm sorry," I whispered into his hair. He shook his head quickly. I was rocking him now, as he was crying again. As I did this, I thought of something better to say. A better meaning. "Thank you," I said.

His arms went so tight I almost couldn't breathe. He let out a long sigh, and his body relaxed. 

"Thank you, Tetsu," I repeated. My chin and mouth were resting in his hair. "I love you, thank you."

 

A couple of hours later, I got the full story. My nurse was amazed at my recovery. They'd finally found something that worked, she'd exclaimed. My doctor came into the room. He was amazed, too. I told them I felt better than I had in a long time. Couldn't believe my energy right now. 

"I know I'm in bed, and if I got up and walked it might be different, but I feel good," I'd told them. Tetsu was in bed with me, and they'd scolded him for that, saying he could pull at my wires. But I didn't care. I had my arm around him, pressing him to me. He didn't want to let me go. I loved that. We were like children, all over each other.

My doctor sat down with us, and told me what was going on. It was much the same story as Tetsu had told me, but different. More medical terminology.

He told me that my glucose level had been dangerously low, and from what I'd just told him about my numbness, it'd probably been at a consistent low for a while. He said that numbness was most likely diabetic neuropathy, but they'd run some tests to be sure. He said, unfortunately, this could be permanent and was likely already having some permanence, but further damage could be prevented if they could get my low blood sugar under control. He didn't want my hands and legs to be fully numb. I didn't either. It really scared me.

Tetsu had rubbed the palm of my hand with his thumb. He'd promised me it wouldn't happen, and we'd attack this. No more waiting. At the first sign of any symptom, anything other than normal, we'd attack the symptom. It didn't matter what was happening in our lives. My health was more important. I'd hugged him for this. That he would say that. 

My doctor went on, and explained that if it wasn't diabetic neuropathy, then it could be something else to do with low blood sugar, especially if it was precursor to my shaking. Something to do with my nerves, for sure. He explained that the shaking was caused by my muscles being starved of something essential that blood sugar provided, and that's why it was uncontrollable, and that my body didn't necessarily need to be sugar starved for a long period for this. So, it was essential that I be on some kind of preventative medication, and it looked like they'd found something that had worked. But, from what Yokohara-sensei had told him, it might not work all the time due to my endocrine disorder. However, what the preventative medication was doing now for me was literally night and day. He repeated he could not believe the difference.

My energy didn't last, though. Around 2pm, I felt pretty tired. So, in Tetsu's arms, I took a nap. I was so happy. He was happy, too. He'd kissed me so sweetly, and I kissed him back. It was bliss. I wanted to kiss him all day, never stop. He seemed to want that, too. He kissed me for a long time, his hand in my hair. His hand in my hair made me fall asleep, our faces practically touching. 

 

He was laughing now. His cellphone was up in the air in front of us, and he was making funny faces. He was taking pictures of us. His arm was around me, and we were sitting side by side on my hospital bed. I couldn't stop laughing with him. I could see us in his cellphone. His face.

"You look like a duck!" I laughed. "Quack!"

"Quack?!" He repeated, bursting into new laughter. "What's 'koo-wa-ku'?!"

"What?! What do ducks say in Japan?!"

"Gaa ga!"

I burst into such loud laughter. My hands went over my mouth, trying to quiet myself, to no success. He was so adorable! He made a duck face at the camera.

"Gaa ga!" He repeated, taking a picture. I fell down to the bed, laughing so hard. 

He picked me back up. He grinned at me, and kissed me. Warm lips. He dropped his cellphone on the bed. His hands were on either side of my face, and his kiss deepened. I tilted my head, and he went with me. I listened to his sounds. Little sounds. Precious sounds. 

He parted from me, his large eyes taking in every part of my face, searching. I could feel my own blissful expression. My eyes were half shut. My mouth was slightly parted, exposing my teeth a little bit. 

"I love you," he said, breaking into a grin. "Ah, it feels like I'm dreaming. I'm not dreaming, right? Please tell me it's not a dream."

"I love you, too. I'm not sure if it's a dream, but if it is, tell it not to end." 

"Okay, I will." He drew me in for another kiss, and I sighed in it. His mouth was beautiful.

 

I was tired again in the evening. That was okay. All day, there'd been interspersed moments of feeling so good. Tetsu had remarked on this, that this was such progress. He was so proud of me, that I felt so good. Now he was laid on the bed with me, and we were in our customary pose. In this position, I had a purple rose in my hand, and I'd been teasing him with it, putting it on his gorgeous nose and he'd blow at the rose, trying to blow it away to make me laugh. I enjoyed watching his lips pucker to do this. He'd kissed the rose, and it was such a beautiful image that I'd smiled and sighed in it.

I was tired, but not sleepy. I thought that was a strange change. That I could be tired and not sleepy, my body tired, but not my brain. I was alert. 

Tetsu chose to call his family now. Tell them the good news. I was excited. Apparently they'd been pretty worried. 

He decided to video call his mom. We waited as the phone rang. Her face popped up on the screen. We both looked at her. "Hello!" We said together. And she just started crying. Her face crumpling the same way Tetsu's had early this morning. She ran to show the phone to Tetsu's papa, who was in the living room. We saw her running down the hallway. Tetsu told her to be careful.

Tetsu's papa was amazed. He was so happy to see me. His mouth was wide open, shocked, grinning. I'd never seen that expression on his face. 

"Call Natsuko! Call everybody!" Tetsu's mom said loudly to his papa. "Sana is awake! Oh! Oh, Sana, how are you feeling?! Is everything okay?! When did you wake up!" She started squealing, so happy. We saw Tetsu's papa take his cellphone out of his pocket and start dialing. She stood next to his chair, so they were both in frame. 

Tetsu answered for me, because I was tired. "Sana woke up around 5:30am. At least, that's when he woke me up! He said, 'I feel good, how are you?' to my morning greeting and my mouth dropped open in shock!"

"You cried," I chimed in. 

"Of course I did!" He said, astonished, looking at me. "If you only knew!" He looked back at his phone. "He's so awake! The doctor said it's the preventative medication they put him on. Sana is much less tired than usual, too! He's been up practically all day. He's tired now, but not sleepy. Isn't that wonderful? Maybe his being so tired has been this all along? We thought it was your heart causing it," he said, looking at me again, "but maybe it was blood sugar?"

"Maybe," I agreed. I'd honestly agree with anything he said, especially when he was looking at me so happily like that.

His papa appeared to get someone on the phone. He was in a video call. "Natsuko! Look!" He exclaimed. He pointed his phone at us. Natsuko's face was there. Her face went into shock. 

"Sana!" We heard kind of quiet come from his phone. She just started screaming, jumping up and down. In her frame, we saw her husband walk into the room. He said something we couldn't hear, and she pointed at what she could see. "Sana is awake!" We heard her say. She kept screaming. His face went into a surprised grin. So happy. 

They were so all so happy for me. It made my heart go up in butterflies, and fly into my throat. I was getting all choked up. 

Tetsu's papa turned the phone to himself. "I'm going to call Naoko now," he told her. We heard her say a tiny, "okay!" 

"Can we come to the hospital? I know it's kind of late. Visiting hours aren't over. Is that okay?" Tetsu's mom asked, in frame again. Tetsu's papa looked like he'd gotten Naoko on the phone. 

"Naoko, look!" He said. He pointed his phone at us again. Naoko's mouth dropped open. But she had such a different personality than Natsuko, despite having the same face. She started crying. I saw Tetsu's nephews were in the kitchen with her, having dessert. 

"Hi," she said, so tiny. We could barely hear her. 

"Hi," I said to her. 

Tetsu's papa turned the phone back to himself. "We're going to the hospital soon. Want to come with us?" He asked her, not waiting for us to say yes. I began to giggle at his. Tetsu laughed with me. 

"I'm so happy you're laughing," he said, brushing my bangs away from my face. I looked at him adoringly.

 

In thirty minutes, Tetsu's entire family was in my hospital room. It was like a party. Visiting hours would be over in twenty minutes, but they were so happy just to be there. My nurse had come in to check my blood sugar, as she did periodically. She'd been surprised, so many people in here. When it was revealed my blood sugar was ninety-seven, they'd all rejoiced like I'd scored a goal. I'd laughed and suddenly everyone was laughing. It was amazing.

When the loud speaker announced that visiting hours were over, they'd all come over to my bed one by one to hug me. Even Tetsu's nephews. Tetsu told them about some baseball cards, and that I liked to collect them. 

"I don't think I ever told you that," I said, confused. Honestly, I thought it was kind of a childish habit of mine, so I hadn't told him. 

"You told my papa and he told us," Tetsu explained. I blushed. 

His nephews were excited, though. They wanted to know what I had. I laughed at their enthusiasm, and said I'd show them when I could retrieve my collection. Tetsu said we could soon, and that he wanted to see what I had, too, surprisingly.

"But, Tetsu, you don't like baseball," I said, my eyebrows creased in confusion.

"YOU DON'T LIKE BASEBALL?!" His nephews cried out, looks of disgust on their faces. The whole family had burst into laughter at that.

"Oh my god, Sana, that was a secret!" Tetsu was doubled over in laughter. "Now they hate me!"

"Whoops," I giggled. He laughed at this. He liked that word.

"If you tell me you don't like video games, too, I'm going to throw up," Shinji said, matter of fact-ly. Tetsu tousled his hair.

"I like video games, don't worry."

"Then how come you suck at them?"

"Shinji!" Naoko gasped. 

Tetsu just laughed so hard. We laughed together. 

"Don't encourage him! That's terrible!" Naoko said, looking concerned still. She took Shinji by the ear and he made protesting noises. Naoko and her family said goodbye to us, and she repeated how happy she was that I was doing so much better. They waved goodbye, and everyone waved goodbye to them.

Natsuko said goodbye to us and her husband said he was so relieved I was doing well. I was touched by this. We hadn't interacted much. I wanted to get to know him better. They left. Now it was just us and Tetsu's parents. 

"When do you think you'll get out of here?" Tetsu's papa asked. 

"We're not sure," Tetsu answered for me again. I was grateful. "Sana has to get some tests. The doctor says he's concerned that he has something called diabetic neuropathy. Sana said his hands and legs have been going numb, and that's really what led up to this. His hands and legs had been going numb off and on for a few days before this. It was a signal that his low blood sugar condition was getting bad, and we didn't know. He might have some permanent nerve damage. So, the doctor is going to check."

"Oh no," Tetsu's mom said. "That would be terrible. I hope it's nothing permanent."

"My hands and legs feel okay. I can feel everything and move them well. I don't know," I admitted.

"Mm-hmm. They also want to observe him for a bit to see if the medication will really work. They're keeping him here to be safe. That's a good thing," he continued, squeezing my hand. I smiled at his hand squeezing my hand.

"Well, you seem to be doing a lot better than before. That's the main thing," his papa said. 

"Yes, that's true," his mom agreed.

My nurse popped her head into my room. "I'm sorry, but visiting hours were over ten minutes ago. I wish I didn't have to tell you that you have to go. I know this is such a happy occasion. Please do come back tomorrow. We'd love to have you. But, Sana needs his rest now."

His parents nodded their heads. His mom rubbed my back, smiling at me. His father took her hand and his other hand was on her back, in a mock push. 

"Okay, okay," she said, starting to laugh. They were so happy. Smiling so much. They waved goodbye to us, and we waved back. 

As soon as the door closed, Tetsu turned off the lights. He came back, and slid into the bed with me. He put the blanket over us, and wrapped his arm around me, getting close, face to face. He nuzzled his nose to mine, smiling. I could see his face with the light of the streetlamps streaming in from outside. I nuzzled back, and I couldn't stop smiling.