(Who came up with such a thing as 'Divine Law'? Was there really someone that stated that they heard this directly from 'God' or...Was it someone who saw 'sins' as 'bad' and used 'God' to state his own wishes? Just a thought...-TLCsDestiny)

 

My first life was quite easy actually.

I was not poor, I was given opportunities to learn and get into a good job. I had a loving family...I guess the saying, 'It's not what you know, it's who you know' led my life into being an easy going life.

I thought then that I knew what 'home' was, what it was like to live and thought I was proud of myself but...

Upon being the same when I was an Angel, by doing selfless and good deeds, I feel like I was missing an entirely different path that I had no idea about.

I had not fulfilled much of what I had wanted to do. I had not married the one I fell in love with, having let her go. I had not cared for giving up my high paid job, to change my happy hobby into my job...I hadn't cheated on tests, taken the annoying CEO's woman who flirted with me. I hadn't gotten drunk enough, I hadn't been dishonest enough, I had...Not been totally upfront with my so called friends by complaining about these things.

I had been...Doing what I thought was 'right'. 

 

What is right?

Is it doing what your parents want you to do, so they stay off your back and say 'I'm proud of you?'

Or was it right to be in a high paid job because I would have money for when I needed it?

The problem I saw with this, was that poorer people still seemed to get by just fine. It wasn't like I didn't know that those poorer people wanted more money, but they accepted the fate of their lives and most of them made the best of it...Well, from what I saw.

Of course I could be wrong here, there might be some really nasty, poor people out there who were completely unhappy with their circumstance and that is why I wanted to get out more...I wanted to see this side of humans...I wanted to see the other side of the fence, the part of the city that was dirty and had yelling...

 

Not being able to choose the family we are born into seems to stay in my mind.

Why was I wondering about something so much when it was something that couldn't be changed?

Surely it was just luck, right? Whether it was bad or good luck, was it luck?

Surely there is no explanation upon the reason why humans are born into the family that they get into, yet, I can't help but think that there's just something more to it!

Was reincarnation real? If reincarnation is real, then do we get born into a life that we deserved from the last life?

I saw it in my first life, that there was some type of karma towards a person and I thought my karma had been good but really...Was it?

Was my karma good and that's why I got a well paid job and got into a nice family?

Yet, why had I lived in such an unfulfilling way? Wouldn't that be bad luck?

Whatever...

 

I started to question 'right' and 'wrong', upon being an Angel and perhaps that is the reason why I had fallen...Perhaps it is also the reason why I have fallen to become a part of a poorer family too...I don't know.

My memories are quite fuzzy, I just know...I know for certain because it's so...Real.

I remember the rules of an Angel, I remember the light and how...Strange and unique the place I 'stayed' was.

 

Before finding out about my long lost memories of my existence prior to my second rebirth, I felt like I had been sleeping.

I just did things and had not thought much upon things. Was it because I was still 'young'?

Whatever the case, my mind woke up upon learning about my memories and I became more spaced out and secretive for a while...I mean, how could I tell anyone? How could I believe in it...Yet, I knew it, I knew the habits of an Angel, I knew the feelings and that way of life.

Good this, good that...

So, what I was seeing, it felt true...

I must have been another type of being that felt lighter and selfless, which is so different to that of humans and how they are both light and dark. Angels had a barrier that one could rarely go over and act in any other way, otherwise, humans didn't have that barrier, they are capable of being 'good' or 'bad'...But, why...Why was there such a difference? Why was there such a line?

 

Being an Angel, the rules came to me easily and I understood straight away why 'bad' things were bad. Even though I had never attempted to greed for something so much that I would steal it, I knew of it as 'bad'. I hadn't lusted over a woman so much that I would rape her, because I knew that it was 'bad'.

It was...So much to intake that, yes, I did see myself become more lonely for a time but through this, I found myself more apathetic, plainly because...If my memories were truly real, and I had not felt 'right' there, then...Why was that?

 

I was not sure if it was real at first, but after a while of seeing myself do the same type of habits, like that of watching others and shaking my leg, I couldn't help but think that it was at least me that I was feeling and seeing in those memories...That this dream, this memory, felt entirely real.

Then, of course, my life turned upside down...

My life as an Angel coincided with that of my life as a human. As something easy as complaining over not being able to have some chocolate wouldn't be something done as an Angel and my so called 'habit' from being an Angel stopped me in my tracks.

It simply made things harder for me for a time.

...Fourteen, I got my memories, but it wasn't until nearly fifteen that I accepted them as real.

 

 

My new mother and father got worried about me then. They thought I was becoming obstinate but they were too poor to take me to what they thought I apparently needed...Which was a therapist...

I ventured into thoughts of that...I really wondered what the therapist would say to my memories. How would they act?

But...I couldn't help but think that they would think that I'm crazy because...This is not normal.

I have not heard of anyone else going through this, and to be honest, the Angel world was really not all that popular when I think about it.

To become an Angel, did someone have to be easily manipulated?

Did they want you to be closed minded and not think too deeply?

Whatever the case, it seems that my life as an Angel had most definitely ended now and the biggest problem was trying to go beyond the boundaries that I used to have...It was like a rubber band holding me back but honestly, it made me more excited to go beyond that Angelic barrier!

I wanted to complain, I wanted to be sneaky! I wanted to be selfish and lazy!

 

Upon being what my parents worried about, I only grew to have more and more questions.

I wondered why I had to wait so long to have sex.

Why did I have to be eighteen? Why have my parents given me an age limit?

Did they think I was not responsible enough?

Age, is worldwide...

Can't smoke till this age, can't drink till this age, can't have sex till this age.

I mean, I'm not going to have sex with every chick I meet and at any age! I'm not a paedophile, I'm also not one that would rape but...

Age...

 

I feel responsible, most likely because of my last human life.

I had a family to take care of, I had a job to keep, I had to pay the bills!

With those memories, I also remembered a lot of stuff and found that I really could get away with paying less attention in class and still pass.

And that meant that I got into trouble a lot!

Talking, talking about hot girls, talking about going out with me 'mates', whatever it was...Then, sometimes I would get into trouble for rocking my chair, interrupting the teacher, and boy did they hate that!

I was sent to the office a few times and they even tried to make me clean up the school!

 

I didn't clean up the school like they thought I would! I not only stated that they already had someone getting paid to clean the school but I called my parents and they made the principal agree to give me another punishment.

No wonder my 'parents' were thinking I was so obstinate...

But really, I wasn't going over a line...I'm not talking about that Angel line, I was talking about my own.

There is a line...It's my conscious.

I don't want to do things I regret, I also don't want to do things that would make my life a living hell! But neither was I going to clean something for free!

 

As an Angel, the 'Deadly Sins' were very well known!

Now...Well, I guess they might have been imprinted into me, so I'm trying extra hard to overcome them...I don't know why all of a sudden that the 'Deadly Sins' were no longer such a huge factor to me...Was it because I believed that you could still lust and not cross a line? That you could still get angry, just like every other human in the world...

Honestly, I didn't understand how a human could live without the 'Deadly Sins' and perhaps...Perhaps that thought alone gave me that one way ticket back here...Who knows...

I might not 'lust' over a hottie that much that I eagerly strip her down and talk her into having sex with me, instead, I'll lust and flirt! Just like getting angry, I won't punch more than one hole in a wall, considering how many walls there are in the world, it wouldn't be like I'm living off my anger!

...There's obviously a difference to living with the 'Deadly Sins' and not crossing a line to completely living by the 'Deadly Sins'!

Seriously though, now that I think about it, the 'Deadly Sins' I think only were meant for Angels because humans do them all the time and are they being hit by lightning or anything?

Yeah, that's my opinion and I'm sticking to it!

 

So, my 'line' or 'boundary' was different to that of an Angel, but also that of a Demon.

I suppose...I was just being a human.

I envied the rich, I lusted, I was lazy and whatever...So very human!

'Leon, get your ass in your room right now or I'll spank you!'

Yeah, maybe my mother is more of a pervert then I am!

'Leon! Didn't I tell you to take out the trash!'

Hello mother dear, don't you see I'm totally into being lazy here!

...It's obvious that she doesn't understand me...

So, I'm guessing parents yelling at their kids was normal too. Did I really have something to worry about? Did I cross my 'line'?

Nope, I'm still good!

 

 

In my quest to try and answer my questions, I ended up feeling better as the time went by.

My prior human life, of being a goody two shoes, was not at all part of this human life...Nope, this time I'm a neutral to bad one shoe...Or something like that...

I ran like a mother fucker when I stole some smokes from the convenience store. I felt exhilarated!

I don't think I felt that way because I had stolen, no...I think it's because I did something known as bad and  gotten away with it!

To be honest, if it had been a chocolate, instead of smokes, I still might feel great because of it!

The strange part about all that was that I decided that I didn't want to smoke because I didn't like the taste of it, but in no way did I regret stealing them!

Perhaps I'm one of those weird humans...

Having felt that exhilarated feeling, knowing that I could have had the cops after me...Ah, it was a story to tell the kids...

Actually, with all my interesting, little antics, I started to become popular, even though I was known to be quite an apathetic person...

 

I don't get it...

The girls seem to really like 'bad' boys...It was true!

Why is that? Is it because of that 'elated' feeling? Like when I had stolen smokes?

Was it because they think they'll have more fun if they are with a 'bad' boy?

Whatever the case, this was different to being some type of nerd with no pussy in the immediate area.

...Oh wait...There was one girl, haha,I forgot about her!

In my first life, I didn't have many interested in me in my teenage years but look at me now!

First base, which to me was kissing, came too easily!

 

This girl, that girl...Whatever girl...

Really though, I had to teach a few of them, making me glad that I had a prior life and knew how to dominate in the kissing department!

But...It was getting beyond second base that seemed to take more effort than my lazy ass wanted to admit!

Second base, to me, was touching over the clothes...That third base, of going under the clothes, seemed to make all the girls shy and run away.

You know girls...You were born naked...And flat...

Surely though, I must be getting closer to getting laid!

Didn't I learn any techniques in my last human life!?

 

I was fit because of all the trouble I was getting into, I had short brown hair, a cheeky grin...I really wasn't all that hot but I suppose I was someone that a girl could look at every day, I suppose...

Hell, I wasn't sure hey.

'Do I look hot to you?' I had asked my mates one day and honestly, seeing them laugh or look strangely at me made me want to laugh myself!

Yeah, the chicks dig me and you know what, that 'lust' deadly sin was breaking me down!

Flirt, flirt, flirt.

Half of the fun when young, was flirting!

When I was older, flirting rarely ever happened! Even when married!

I had my own woman and all in the first life but flirting seemed to pass by like an old fart!

 

Oh yeah, I wanna play the playboy so much that even the idea of it makes me excited!

When Angel, there's nothing sexual...Literally...Nothing!

Absolutely jack shit, nothing!

How I've missed it!

No wonder I'm the usual horny teenager now...And I've already gotten to sixteen years old!

Come on, shouldn't I have lost my virginity already!?

 

 

So...In my sixteen years, of my second life, I had already done things completely different to that of my first life.

I have found that it is exhilarating to do more, even if it is stealing...

It'll be 'A story to tell the kids'...

'This one time, your father stole smokes...'

Should I add that I quit smoking the same day that I started?

'Believe it, I was stubborn when I was a kid...'

I'll only say that when they themselves are being stubborn, otherwise they might get the wrong idea and never take out the trash!

Actually...I miss telling my kids stories...Like I want to be remembered or something.

I want my kids to brag to their mates about how I was when I was young...Why is that?

So strange...

Yet another question...