You Can (Not) Make Friends
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‘Damnit, maybe if this kid wasn’t so stubborn, he could’ve lived and I could have gotten information, and we split ways, but he had to be so egocentric,’ David thinks to himself.
“Well, I should probably get rid of the body, and since he isn’t alive, I can keep him inside zero, at least for now,” David says under his breath. Zero picks up Mike's body and puts him into its wide mouth.
David takes off his heat vision goggles and puts them into Zero’s mouth alongside his gun. ‘Later, I’ll search the corpse for any leads,’ David thinks to himself as he takes out measuring tools.
“Now then, it's time to investigate the unexplainable and gain unknown knowledge,” David says excitedly, but before he can get any measurements, David feels the ground tremble.
The doors begin to crack and chip as, suddenly, the ground breaks apart, revealing a dark abyss.
“What the hell is going on? If everything is getting destroyed, maybe someone defeated Bohemian Groove!” The broken ground spreads in cracks and overtakes the ground below David and makes him fall into the abyss.
David continues to fall for what seems like minutes until he lands and his body simulates the sensation of falling but without any pain. David looks around only to see a normal hallway that ends as well as a blue-haired man in a blue hoodie.
“Nooooooo, I can’t believe it, how could this world be so cruel to me?!” David shouts in a fit of rage, tears beginning to fill his eyes as he rolls over crying to himself.
Suddenly David turns pale and he tightly grips his stomach for dear life. "Zero,” says David, barely managing to barrel those words out of his mouth. Zero appears before David who is lying on the ground.
David grips the edge of zero’s mouth, puts his head in and pours his stomach into zero. “Ugh I can’t believe those heat vision goggles are so disorienting”.
‘But at least that pesky fly stopped following me,’ David thinks to himself as he raises his head to see the man staring at him with shock and disbelief written all over his face. “Oh, you must be Xander, right?” David says. “Depends on who’s asking,” Xander says while putting his arm behind him.
David stands up from the ground and dusts himself off. “A fellow child who survived the S.B.O Foundation,” David says with a faint smile, “and by the way thanks for killing Bohemian Groove”.
“Oh, you mean that weirdo. Did he do something to you?” Xander says, tilting his head to the side. “Yeah he trapped me inside an infinite hallway where I found another enemy. They seriously tried to double team me.”
“So are you Xander?” David asks. “Yes I’m Xander, but who are you?” Xander says with scepticism. “My name is David. Let's talk” David says. ‘Best not to talk about what happened in the elevator’.
A sound of grumbling erupts from David, “I’m so hungry!!” David shouts out loud, “what type of person is this weird for no reason,” Xander says with death in his eyes.
“Do you know a place to eat? I’m new to the city,” David says, rubbing his belly. “Good grief, there's a place near here. Just follow me,” Xander says twitching his eyebrow.
The two walk out of the building to see that it's reaching dusk. “So did you kill those flies that were spying on us?” David says. “So you noticed the fly, huh. Yes, I killed it,” Xander says while looking at David, “What do you mean? There were two flies, and each fly was following one of us”.
Xander begins to sweat profusely. His face turns into one of horror. “There were two, huh? This spells major trouble”.
“I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you. The culprit will send more people our way, which would be a good thing,” David says with a smile. “How the hell is that a good thing?” Xander shouts as they continue to walk.
“Well, you see, the more enemies that come our way, the more info we could get,” David says, “I guess I can kind of see your logic, so which one of the steel orphans are you, anyway?”
“Well, you see, I actually don’t remember much of anything from before the s.b.o was disbanded,” David says in a defeated tone. “Huh!!! Are you serious? Is there something wrong with you?” Xander shouts.
“My memories were stolen by a woman called Beyond Rainbow, and I will find her and get my memories back,” David says with clenched fists, “but at least I retained some memories”.
Xander stops walking. “Here we are,” Xander says while standing in front of a fast food chain with the logo JoJo’s Fried Chicken in a pink-to-white gradient colour with a big flashy font.
Xander and David walk into the restaurant. Bright fluorescent lights beam through the room and the smell of food fills their noses as well as the sounds of oil cooking and the crunchy chicken.
David looks around in amazement seeing the lively environment, “You have cash, right?” Xander asks while picking out a table. “Yes I do, a full 50 bucks,” replies David with a thumbs up.
Xander signals to David to come over to a table with a red and black plaid tablecloth with a menu. The two sit down on the black chair across from each other.
“I’ll be getting the food at the reception, but you should probably pick something,” Xander says, “and you’d better look at the prices thoroughly”. David picks up the menu and reads through it.
David notices a spicy section and browses through it. “No way. There's a thing called the grim burger, and it has 3,500 calories plus a million scovilles. That's what I want,” David says with a glow in his eyes.
“You do know that it costs 25 dollars if you don’t finish it within an hour, right?” Xander questions. “Yes, I know, but if I finish it within an hour, I get it for 5 dollars”.
“Alright, I’ll go order,” Xander says as he leaves the table. A few moments later Xander comes back, “It may take a while for our orders to be made, so what can you remember about the sbo?” Xander says, sitting down.

“Well, first of all I know that it was a living hell though I don’t remember the specifics. Secondly I know I had seven friends who died but I can’t remember their names I also recall the person called Mr. President being an important person. Hmm I think that's it”.

“Do you remember anything more?” Xander says. “Yeah though, I did do some research, but only eight out of the thirteen children were actually interviewed and they all said it was a horrible place, that's it, no specifics about it”.
“I could fill in the blanks for you, though it will cost you something,” Xander says with a deadpan expression. “And what is it you want from me?” David asks with a smile creeping into his face.
“I am in search of a cursed weapon,” Xander says while looking into David's green eyes, “and I suspect you know how I can get one”. David’s smile creeps even wider. “I never knew a sinner from the city would be so crazy as to want such a thing.”
“The weapon that is a culmination of technology and tradition, the very weapon that combines progression and regression. Are you sure you want a weapon that has made all those who wielded it before you go mad?”
“You are absolutely insane and I like it. I accept your offer,” David says with a devilish smile. Xander also has a small grin on his face. “Then lets shake on it. You get me a cursed blade and I help you get your memories back”. The two give each other a firm handshake.
A man in a bright pink uniform with text that reads JFC in an exaggerated font, in his hands he holds two silver platers. “Enjoy your food. Beverages are on the way” the waiter says as he places the silver platters on the table and walks away.
“So what do you want a cursed weapon for, anyway?” David says with an amused expression. “I have my reasons; you’ll just have to wait and see,” Xander says.
“No fair, I wanted to know,” David pouts, “well, food’s here, time to feast.” David puts his hands together and closes his eyes “I thank you fairies of the stars for giving us power to go beyond. In death we console and in death we shall return and reunite with our mother Eve. In the face of death we celebrate and dance to the choir of angels. In the land of the dead we embrace simplicity and return to nothingness, but resist the allure of death.”
David removes the metal cover to his silver platter revealing a hulking burger with a gigantic piece of fried chicken and pristine crispy bun. “No way!!! I knew it would be big but not this big, and the chicken is so flaky plus they completely slathered the burger in that absolutely gorgeous sauce”.
David picks up the titanic burger by the bottom and takes a giant bite out of it, covering his mouth in sauce and crumbs. “Mmn thich ish sho ghood,” David says as he continues to stuff his mouth.
David beats his chest as he coughs, quickly grabs a glass of water and chugs it in one gulp as he gives a sigh of relief and, slams the emptied glass on the table.
“What did you get?” David says as he wipes his face with paper napkins, Xander with a staggered expression. “Did you just eat a fourth of that giant burger? I had to train my spice tolerance for 2 years, yet you’re just ignoring the spice,” Xander says, his frustration mixed with disbelief.
“Well, the cooks back home make food way spicier than this, so I will ask again what did you get,” David says with a smile on his face. Xander opens his platter to reveal a normal sized chicken sandwich with a box of sweet potato fries with a small metal container with sauce.
“I also got some cola for us if you want it,” Xander says as he takes a fry from his plate. “Ooh what's that?” David asks while eating his giant burger slowly, “It's one of the best tasting drinks but not so good for health”.
“Oh, right. There's something else I need to tell you. I know the nickname Observer is important to my identity, and Bohemian Groove knew that name, so finding his master is key”.
“You could've told me that before. Well at least we have a lead, plus the fact that we were the only ones that were being spied on, which means that it might have something to do with the sbo”.
The man in the JFC uniform comes by their table. “Sorry for the delay. Something happened in the back,” he says with two glass cups with a frothy dark drink.
“Thanks a lot,” Xander says with a nod, as the man walks out of sight. “There's still something amiss. How do you know I have access to a cursed weapon?” David questions with an eyebrow raised.
“I’ll only tell you once you hold up your end of the bargain,” Xander says with his index finger on his lips. “No fair, you are such a horrible person,” David pouts as he takes a giant bite out of his burger.
Xander continues to eat his fries, savouring each bite. The two continue to eat and talk about the most random things.
“Oh, man I’m so full. I feel like my belly could burst open” David says in a sick voice. "Well, that's what you get for eating so much food,” Xander says condescendingly.
“Oh, right what’s your phone number?” David says while slowly taking the final sip of his cola. “It’s 420 656 982” Xander says as he stands up. “Alright got it, thanks”.
“Let's go then,” Xander says. “Ok, but just tell me the ending to Professor Rock The Animation, please” David asks. “No you’ll just have to watch it till the end”. “oh so cruel”.
The two exit the establishment. “I’m going this way,” David says as he points to his left. “Well I go the other way. See you later and make sure to live 100 more years”.
David walks the other way. He begins to chuckle to himself. “Ha, I could never live that long, even if I become fate itself”.
David continues to walk through the bright city for 3 minutes until he gets to a tall, rectangular building with a black banner in front of it with Tour de l'Avarice written on it with a white big bold font.
He enters to find a simple black and white interior with a lobby area as wall as two silver elevators in front of him. 'Stick said I should go to the 16th floor'.
David presses the up button on the elevator and one of the elevator doors opens. David walks in with a dull expression and looks at a mirror in the back of the elevator. “Do I always look so apathetic? I got to change that.”
The doors to the elevator open. David walks out and goes left until he gets to a door with 1605 written on it. David looks down to see a combination padlock integrated into the door.
“He said the code is 2100,” David mutters to himself as he puts in the code. A tick sound is made and David opens the door, and walks in to a pretty, spacious interior.
David looks around the unfamiliar environment to see an open space with 2 couches, a coffee table with stools next to it as well as a big tv screen, with a punching bag in the corner. “Is this a living room?”
David looks around more and sees a walled-off kitchen with an open way near the entrance. In the kitchen David sees a dining table, with decorations on it and a bit further there is a fridge with cupboards lining the counter as well as a stove oven with a microwave next to is, and a sink across from it.
“David, you're finally home,” shouts an excited voice from behind the kitchen just beyond his view. Suddenly, a man with bright blonde hair appears, wearing a black yukata with yellow accents.
He jumps in for a hug but David skillfully dodges. The man barely catches himself from face planting into the door. “Why did you dodge your big bro’s hug? I missed you so much. We may not be related by blood but we're still brothers”.
“You really get on my nerves, Stick Fisher, and we literally just talked 3 days ago. Plus on top of all that you jammed all the knowledge of the city in 1 month and sucked all the life away from me, making me study for hours on end. I am not happy to see you”.
“Geez, you didn't need to say it like that. Anyways welcome home,” Stick says with a smile.

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