OwlrageousJones

I haven't done one of these in a little bit, but once again thank you to all my patrons! I love all of you.

I'll be taking a break next week however, so Aspirations of a Future Househusband will resume on the 8th.

My parents' home - my childhood home, where I grew up - hadn't changed all that much since the last I saw of it. The design and exterior was a little ostentatious, and the structure itself was a fairly simple siheyuan - the outer ring of buildings surrounding a courtyard. Just at a larger scale.

My parents themselves… are much the same.

"A-Lian!" My mother, Hei Shuangli, is every bit the boisterous, cheerful woman of my childhood. She's a large woman, round and plump in a way that just exemplifies softness and a love of good food. It's easy to see our family resemblance. "Look at you! You're so skinny, ah! Are you eating properly? You're still growing and getting stronger, you need to make sure you're eating enough!"

She fusses over me relentlessly, ignoring my feeble attempts to get her to stop. "Mother, please," I whisper quietly, "Not in front of everyone else."

My mother's affection remains indomitable and bringing up the topic of my companions - who are just quietly standing behind me at a safe distance, trying to make sense of what's happening - only serves to make things worse. "Aiyah! Such a handsome man - and such a beautiful woman!" she gushes, "A-Lian, why didn't you tell us you were bringing such incredible companions?"

I did tell you is what I want to whine, but I know it'll just lead to more fussing. "Mother, can I-Mother-the guests-!"

Finally she relents, bowing politely to the utterly bemused Zhou Cheng and Tian Mingfei. "Honoured Guests, welcome! Thank you for taking care of my beloved A-Lian!"

"Really more like I was taking care of them," I mutter under my breath but I must've been louder than I thought because my mother responds by immediately cuffing me.

Zhou Cheng is the first to find his footing, returning the bow after a moment to consider how deeply he should - he opts to match her, which is polite of him. "Um. Thank you, ma'am. It's an honour to make your acquaintance. I am Zhou Cheng."

Tian Mingfei mirrors his movements. "My name is Tian Mingfei. It is an honour, ma'am."

"Aiyah, how polite! There's no need for that, really! A-Lian has told me so much about you! Please, call me Auntie!" she coos, waving a pudgy hand - the one that's not holding my collar, at least. "Come inside! Come, come, come!" She beckons them to follow her, and I'm not really given much of a choice as she practically drags me inside.

The interior matches the exterior, in a lot of ways, with all sorts of decorations meant to remind you that the Hei Family has money, in case you weren't aware for whatever reason.

Nothing on the level of the Sect in terms of wealth and rarity, but in Azure Harbour City, the name Hei carried weight, even amongst the local Sect, the incredibly creatively named Calm Tides Sect. Compared to the Heavenly Misty Peaks, they weren't all that powerful, but they held considerable influence in the local area for their mastery of water techniques, maritime formations and just generally being very handy to have when you lived in a port.

If I had chosen to enlist there, I probably would've been given a position of relative importance based on my family alone. I certainly doubt I would've been… mistreated, but that was a low bar to clear indeed.

Servants scurry around us, bowing deeply as we pass, and my mother peppers my companions with questions and queries… mostly about me. I wrote a decent amount about Zhou Cheng in my letters, so she's quite familiar with him second hand, but that doesn't stop her from asking him if I've been studying properly and taking care of myself and eating my vegetables like I'm still a child.

I always ate my vegetables! Or… I did, after I 'woke up'.

Poor Zhou Cheng doesn't seem like he knows how to handle any of this. He's afraid of offending her in some way, I think, which is cute, but really, it'd take a lot to offend my mother.

My biggest concern is that she's going to get the wrong idea about Tian Mingfei.

"We're still preparing tonight's feast," she continues cheerfully, "So I hope you've prepared quite an appetite! The best delicacies and delights in all of Azure Harbour, just for you!"

"Mother, could you-could you let go, please? I can walk, you know, my legs still work."

She pretends like she didn't hear me, still dragging me through the halls. "I do hope you don't mind the climate - A-Lian's letters suggest it was much warmer, but I'm afraid we don't get a lot of that here!"

It wasn't that much warmer - mostly it was offset by a number of Formations and such, I think. The Forest could be pretty humid in the summers, and we got enough sunlight on the Peak itself that everything stayed pleasantly warm.

Here in Azure Harbor, deep to the North, we had two main seasons.

Either it was raining, or it was snowing - today was the rare occasion where it was just cloudy.

"A little cold won't bother us, Auntie," Tian Mingfei declares cheerfully, adapting much faster than Zhou Cheng, "You have a lovely home!"

Mother titters, flapping a hand at her. "Aiyah, so polite! And so beautiful too!" Definitely getting the wrong idea. "I'm so glad A-Lian is making such wonderful friends! We were always worried he would have trouble."

Oh please don't start airing my dirty laundry. Not right now.

"We're lucky to have him," Zhou Cheng offers, which is nice of him, but please don't encourage her. "I can't imagine him having any trouble." Really? You don't remember what it was like? I was a laughingstock for years!

"That's so lovely to hear! It warms my heart to hear that! Ah, here we are!" She practically yanks a door open and gestures into a small room. Hand carved chairs from the finest hardwood surround a round table designed to look like it's being held up by four fish.

Sitting in one chair is my father, Hei Bolin, an absolute bear of a man. Only a little taller than I was, with a truly impressive and well kept beard that drapes down his ample stomach. His face lights up immediately the moment he sees me, practically glowing with happiness.

"A-Lian!" he calls cheerfully, in his rumbling voice, "And friends, as well! Come, come, sit, sit! It is a pleasure to finally meet both of you - I am Hei Bolin, but please, call me Uncle!"

Zhou Cheng doesn't look like he knows what to do with that either, but Tian Mingfei ushers him in after my mother and I, and before long we're all sitting around the table.

I had kind of hoped to maybe use Tian Mingfei or Zhou Cheng as a buffer, but my mother insisted I sit next to her or Dad, so I chose the latter if only to protect myself from any further embarrassment. Zhou Cheng, naturally, sat next to me, and Tian Mingfei to his left.

One of the servant's - I didn't recognise them, personally - swoops in, setting down a tray of tea, and another brings in some snacks.

"It's so good to have you back home, son," Dad continues cheerfully, pouring the tea out for everyone with the careless ease that comes from practice, "After your letters stopped coming, your mother and I were so terribly worried!"

Aaand here's the part I was really dreading. "There were some… there was a situation. It's all been resolved now."

Dad - my father - is not a fool. He's a shrewd merchant, and I know he can see straight through my attempt at omitting the truth. His eyes narrow just the slightest, but neither one of us wants to unpack that right in front of Mother.

Cultivator or not, I'd be lucky if I was allowed to leave the house if she found out the full extent of what happened to me.

"Well, I'm glad to see you're doing well!" he says, continuing on after a moment of silent acknowledgement of my deception, "We have some exciting news for you as well!"

… I don't like their expressions. "Exciting… how?"

Neither of them said anything, but Dad motions to a servant, who opens a side door, revealing…

"This is Hei Yazhu and Hei Yawen! Your new brother and sister!"

A tiny pair of toddlers stand there, awkwardly holding onto the hands of the woman I recognise as my old nanny, Ren Mingzhu. They look at us with the kind of nervous wariness I remember having towards strangers at their age.

It probably doesn't help that I'm gawking. My mind is still trying to get around the concept of siblings.

I… have siblings now. My parents had children! Again! I'm not an only child anymore!

"Congratulations," Tian Mingfei adds cheerfully, breaking the silence.

"Given that you're a powerful Cultivator now," my mother continues, and my brain trips over that as well because in what world did I ever give you the idea I was powerful, "We thought you'd be too busy to inherit the business."

That's… that makes sense, actually.

"And we figured we did want grandchildren someday, you know."

That… makes less sense? "I… I'm sorry?"

Dad just nods seriously, as Ren Mingzhu slowly guides the reluctant toddlers over to my-our mother, who bends down to gently whisper to them and fuss over them. "Well, aren't you and Zhou Cheng… allied brothers?"

Eh? "We're sworn brothers, yes," I say slowly, "I don't… see how that's relevant?" Am I missing something here? Zhou Cheng looks as confused as I do, but-Tian Mingfei why are you trying not to laugh?!

What am I missing?!

"What your father's trying to say is we know you aren't seeking a wife anytime soon."

… "Because… I'm… busy?" I offer, still confused. They're not… they don't… do they?

Dad sets his tea cup down, looking uncomfortable.  "A-Lian. We know, you're a…" He's clearly fumbling for the right word, and he gives a concerned glance at the increasingly confused Zhou Cheng. "... cut sleeve."

…

Ah. Well. This is certainly awkward. I have no idea how to react to this, so I just take a slow careful sip of my tea and keep my expression neutral. I guess this means I don't have to worry about telling them, I guess? But I'm more confused on how they seemed to have figured it out, because it's not like I ever said anything.

"But enough about that," Dad continues, brushing the awkwardness aside, "Come meet your new siblings! Tell us what you've been up to, these past few years!"

I glance over at the other two. Well. If they won't comment, I won't. "Well. It's been a busy time since I last wrote…"

After my parents have exhausted themselves of questions - a process that takes at least an hour, even with Tian Mingfei and Zhou Cheng helping - they leave us to settle in and return to their own duties.

Although they still leave me to get acquainted with my new baby siblings, which is something I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around. They, at least, seem to warm up to me soon enough once they get over the initial nervousness, and before long I have one - Yawen, I'm pretty sure, my sister - playing with my hair whilst the other - Yazhu, by process of elimination - tries to hang off my arm like a little monkey.

Thankfully, I'm much stronger than I look, so my arm's in no real risk of getting tired from hauling him around with one hand.

"I can see why you turned out this way," Tian Mingfei notes idly, sipping some tea as she watches Yazhu dangle precariously up until I place a hand underneath him before he falls. It's a distance of a few inches, but still.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment," I retort, ignoring the tugging at my hair. I have no idea what Yawen is doing, but I'm sure whatever it is, I'll manage somehow. I keep Yazhu entertained by using him to do some impromptu exercises, lifting him up and down like he was a dumbbell. I don't know what it is about being a small child that being manhandled is so delightful.

I remember enjoying the hell out of it as a kid as well. I think I remember reading something… about proprioception?

"It was a compliment," she adds cheerfully.

"Good, then I won't have to declare a blood feud."

A tugging at my other sleeve gets my attention, and I glance over to Yawen. "Wan' up!" she declares, with the adorable certainty of small children.

I'd be a terrible brother to refuse her, so I scoop her up with my free hand, carefully balancing her and begin lifting both of them in sync with each other, causing a chorus of delighted giggling. "You alright, Cheng-ge?"

He blinks, seemingly a little caught off guard. He'd been watching me and my new siblings with an intensity that made me a little concerned. Was he jealous? "Oh-uh-I… I'm just a little confused."

"About what?" Please don't say 'how babies are made'. I'm not ready to have that talk.

He purses his lips a little. "Just… what did your parents mean by 'cut sleeve'?"

Actually, I change my mind. Please ask about babies instead. They're… probably young enough that they won't remember any of this, and honestly, they'll learn about it sooner or later. If they grow up knowing, they won't think it's weird. Hopefully. "It means… I'm gay."

Zhou Cheng's confused expression remains in place, however. You're thirteen, Cheng-ge! How can you not know what 'gay' means?!

"It means Hei Lian prefers men over women," Tian Mingfei explains cheerfully. When Zhou Cheng's confusion doesn't seem to abate all that much, she adds a "Romantically speaking."

That seems to get through to him, if the way his eyes go wide are any indication.

I settle Yazhu and Yawen on my lap now that they seem more in mood for a nap, and just let out a quiet sigh. "Thank you, Tian Mingfei."

"Any time, Brother Hei!"