“Naoki! Naoki! Hey man, are you alright?”

 

“Huh? Oh yeah sorry, I was spacing out”

“What’s up? Not enough sleep?”

Both Nakai and Katsuo looked at me with concerned expressions. I can’t blame them, I had just been staring at my shoe locker for a long time without doing anything.

“Are you still thinking about what happened with Tomiko-san on the rooftop?” asked Nakai as he took his school shoes out of his locker.

At the same time, there were many students who passed all around us, staring adamantly in our direction…or more specifically staring at me.

“Hey isn’t that…”

“What does Tomiko-san even see in that guy”

“What a rude person to leave her like that!”

Their so-called “whispers” were loud enough to be overheard despite them talking in low voices, almost as if they wanted me to hear it. It was barely the beginning of the school year, and people were already staring daggers at me.

Of course, if it had been any other person, then people wouldn’t care less about what had happened on the rooftop. But it just had to be that Kido was considered one of the top beauties in the entire school. 

“Thinking about Tomiko-san you ask?” I asked sarcastically,  “What could possibly make you ask that?” I said before I slammed my locker with a good amount of force, enough to scare off any onlookers.

“Common man, don’t be like that. You can’t blame people’s curiosity. You literally had one of the prettiest girls in the entire school suddenly call you out like that and you brushed her off.” 

“Not to mention in a rather rude way,” quickly added Katsuo

As I bent down to finish adjusting my inside shoes, I couldn’t help but let out a resigned breath of air.  

“Is that so”

“Besides we’re also pretty curious about what happened between you”

I walked in the direction of my classroom as Katsuo and Nakai followed,

“What is there to even know?”  I asked

“What is there to know?! I don’t know man, maybe the entire MARRIAGE PART?” 

“Listen, my father used to work for her father and I ended up meeting her as a kid because of it, the marriage was just a misunderstanding and then she left to study abroad, and that's all there is to it.” 

Nakai abruptly stopped in the middle of the hallway and looked dead into my eyes, “Wait ...so you’re childhood friends with Tomiko-san?”

“I don’t know whats so foking hard to understand Nakai”

“You are literally childhood friends with the most popular girl in school who happens to be rich  and you aren’t even one bit interested in her after she showed clear interest in you, heck the marriage part didn’t even seem to be a misunderstanding for her!”

Promptly after we waved at Katsuo who had to split off to go to his own classroom. 

“Aaaaagh, I’m so jealous, If I was you I’d be trying to get as close as possible to Tomiko-san”

 

If I was you…I hate that damn phrase so much…

“Why didn’t you at least contact her after she left to study abroad”

“...cause then that happened.”

“...”

“...sorry”

“It’s fine.” 

“Ok, ok, I won’t ask you anymore.”

I don’t blame Nakai, this situation is already pretty hard to believe. A childhood friend AND a promise of marriage? It’s understandable to see everyone’s reaction and curiosity…what doesn’t seem reasonable are the looks people are giving me. I’m the crazy one for not getting closer? As if the fact that she took a promise that we made as children seriously wasn’t crazy itself.

We soon arrived at our classroom door, and from the outside, you could see there were a few students inside such as Inoue in his seat looking out the window.

“Speaking of childhood friends, whatever happened to Kei, last I heard, she was attending your previous school” asked Nakai as he opened the door.

“Kei…?”

His question, and hearing her name again…immediately brought back a searing hatred I had forgotten.

“Yeah man, did you not talk to her? You’re also lucky to know a girl like her! It's straight out of a manga; Friends since childhood, separated during middle school, only to be fatefully reunited during high school under a cherry blossom tree!”

Lucky my ass, the only lucky thing was to have gotten rid of her. It’s all still so vivid in my memories. The name-calling, the insults, the hitting, the ridicule… To think I took it all and never said anything back just because I considered her a friend…

AAAAAGH! It still makes me angry to think about. I was so stupid and naive back then! If I ever meet her again, I won’t hesitate this time. I will say it straight to her face!

“No, that sort of thing didn’t happen between me and Kei, besides it's not that special, you’re also my childhood friend.”

“So you didn’t talk to Kei?”

“...no, we were practically strangers”

“Is that so…well I guess that sort of stuff only happens in mangas and animes”

I wish it did.

As we continued to talk in our seats, the door at the front of the room slid open in a swift smooth motion before a girl walked inside and made her way to the two uf us, the closest people in the room.

“Kurogawa-kun, Taro-kun, good morning”

Kousaka Nino, the student president of our classroom. An exceptionally kind person who would always greet every student in the class. She was a beautiful girl with brown eyes and light brown hair that reached down to her shoulders, while also wearing a headband that kept her bangs from covering her face. Unfortunately, people often compared her to other girls like Kido, and as a result, was called a modest beauty despite being really pretty herself. 

 

That's right if anything I’d rather date someone like Kousaka, compared to someone like Kei who always resorted to violence to get what she wanted, violent girls are the worst.

“Kousaka-san good morning” 

“Mornin’ Kousaka!” says Nakai after me

“There was quite a commotion about Tomiko-san huh, I wonder what that was about?” she asked. But it didn’t seem she was feigning ignorance, she seemed genuine in her lack of knowledge.

“Ahahaha, you don’t say,” I laughed while averting my eyes

Suddenly, the door at the back of the classroom slammed open, halting the conversation from going any further. From outside, a girl walked in with heavy resounding steps. It was a face I had recently decided not to get involved with. A girl with blazing long red hair, sharp eyes and a nasty attitude that contrasted with the innocent star-shaped pin she wore on her hair.

“HIEEEK!” The surprised shriek of Kousaka filled the room.

“Homura-san! What happened to you?!?! You’re covered in bandages!”

“Huh, oh Kousaka-san, nothin' much, some punks from the neighboring district picked a fight with me this morning”

“Are you alright?!”

“Don’t worry I kicked their asses”

“But Homura your uniform is covered in blood splatters!”

“Huh? Oh, I guess so, don’t worry it's not mine”

Talk about trouble.

 

“That’s not what I mean!”

“Hahaha, chill out Kousaka, I'm fine, class is about to begin anyways”

Kousaka would proceed to let out a defeated breath of air, while Homura would make her way to her seat at the back next to Inoue.

“Morning Homura,” Inoue would try to greet

“Don’t talk to me uggo”

“Sorry”

Inoue buddy I will forever be indebted to you, it was like he took a bullet for me.

“Alright everyone take a seat! Class is about to begin” the teacher would announce.

“Next week is the start of the club fair, if you are in a club please make sure to remind your club leaders to participate! If you haven’t joined one, then please do so! Clubs are mandatory and the school isn’t accepting half-assed clubs anymore, like the going-home club Nakai”

This guy…

“Common teach don’t put me on the spot like that” Nakai would say as everyone in the class would laugh and giggle.

“Clubs huh…I guess I’ll have to start thinking of one to join”

 

------------------------------------------------------

As I walked back home, I kept thinking about what club I should join. A sports club? Probably not, I need my energy for when I get home. An arts club maybe? Well, I'm not really into drawing…

I’ve never felt particularly passionate about anything, even last year I was simply part of the literature club, although I can’t really call myself a member when I would always end up being dragged out by those three one way or another.

Well, I got time, there's no point stressing over it. Life is too short and hard enough as it is than to stress over something small. I’d rather enjoy the peaceful ambiance of walking back home. The clean and fresh scent of the riverside, the soothing sound of water gently trickling against the rocks, and the soft orange glow of the sun reflecting on the crystal clear surface of the water. 

I wonder why can’t most days be like this, peaceful and quiet. Sometimes I want to lie down on the slope filled with patches of grass for hours as I stare into the sky without a thought in mind. 

“NAOKI KUROGAWA” 

Aaaand there it is.

I stopped dead in my tracks, unsure if I even wanted to turn around. But after I did, the familiar silhouette of an extremely beautiful girl was before me. The sun hit her back, creating a shadow in front of her and once again, she stood there in a confident pose with her hands on her waist. Her hair was a yellow canary and…oh right we went through this already.

For a second time I found myself confronted by Kido who suddenly called out to me. At least this time around there was nobody to watch us.

“Tomiko-san…nice to see you again,” I said, attempting an awkward smile, “…Sorry about just leaving you on the roof like that…I hope it didn’t affect you that much…” 

“Whatever may you be talking about? It didn’t affect me in the least” She responded dissmisively.

 

But it was clear, the lower part of her eyes were swollen and puffy, while her eyeball had hints of irritation. I felt bad, it was as if a knife had been thrown into my conscience, twisting around with every passing moment. If i didn’t before I definitely felt like an asshole now. 

Kido had also seemed to noticed me observing her face. As if to hide the undeniable proof of her crying she looked to the side and continued, “Hmph! No matter, It was my fault in the first place for suddenly calling you out like that in front of everybody, but after I had some time to reflect I finally realized it”

“Realized…what?”

“Hehe, no need to be so stiff Naoki, there’s no one around us anymore. No more annoying onlookers, no more pests, so there’s no need to feign ignorance anymore.” she declared with a proud and confident smile on her face as she interlaced her arms.

“I'm not sure what you mean…”

“You can let your guard down Naoki, there's no one around us anymore. I realized it, you must have been too shy to admit that we knew each other in front of everyone, aren't I right?” she said as she pointed at herself with her thumb and a proud smile that could power an entire city.

“...” 

“So common Naoki, there's no need to pretend anymore. You can go ahead and admit that you remember me”

I couldn’t understand why she was so hell-bent on getting me to remember her anyways, and that made it all the more difficult, all the more painful.

“Tomiko-san…”

“Go on say it”

Regardless. My answer remains the same.

“...I don’t know what you mean.” 

After uttering that sentence, the bright hopeful smile that Kido had, faded away. She slightly lowered her head and her bangs covered her eyes.

I began trying to play it off, making it seem as all this was one bad misunderstanding, “Maybe you got the wrong person you know! Hahaha, it happens often, or maybe you got my name confused with someone else’s, there's all sorts of things that cou-”

“Why?”she suddenly cut me off.

“Huh?”

“Why do you pretend to not know? Why do you pretend to not recognize me? Why do you pretend to have forgotten?” she said with a heartfelt voice that showed the slightest hint of trembling.

Kido unexpectedly began to walk closer, until her face was just inches from mine. Her emerald eyes glistened as she stared intently at me, while an adorable frown formed on her face. Her long, fine eyelashes framed her eyes, and her cheeks held a soft, rosy hue. While the sweet and delicate fragrance of peach surrounded her, Her lips were plump and-

<<Get ahold of yourself man!>> I screamed to myself in head, trying to hold onto the little composure I had left.

I began to slowly back up, trying to create distance once again, “I don’t know what you mean Tomiko-san,” but my attempt to make distance was in vain, as she continued to closely follow me.

<<Too close! TOo Close!!>> I panicked in my head with the sight of a beauty such as Kido, staring right at my face.

“Are you embarrassed to know me Naoki?! Do you just hate me now!? I know you remember me. I overheard you and Nakai speaking this morning.”

<<Damn it. I got too careless again.>>

“So please answer me Naoki… and don’t run away,” she suddenly exclaimed, firmly and tightly holding onto my shoulders and taking me by surprise.

However both Kido and I had not realized how close we were to the slope of the riverside, and as a result, we would fall backwards, rolling onto the small green hillside. 

Upon stopping, I would find myself below Kido, who was on top of me, fiercely glaring at me with her emerald eyes, as she continued to pin me down. Her hair had cascaded down to the sides, casting a shadow over my face.

My heartbeat was going crazy, I could feel the surge of adrenaline flowing through my body. So trying my best to stay calm I asked, “Um…Tomiko-san…could you maybe get off me?” but to no avail.

“It’s Kido.”

“What?”

“I said it's Kido, it’s always been Kido, you keep saying Tomiko this, Tomiko that…as if you didn’t call me Kido before…I don’t get it” she said as her voice began to tremble and her grip on me tightened.

“All the times you visited me, all the times we spent together, all the memories we made together…all the promises we’ve made.”

<<Promises?>>

“I’ve been alone for a long time…always feeling like I don’t fit in…always the subject of jealousy… I missed you… for a long time.”

<<Don’t. Please don’t tell me this>>

“I wanted to see you again, so I was planning to visit you one day, but then!- Then I saw you transferred into our school. I thought it was a miracle, it was as if fate itself wanted to reunite us! I thought I would get to see once again the one person who meant so much to me and who understood me…what a fool I was wasn’t I?”

The silence hung heavy in the air, her eyes looked at me as if they were pleading, desperately looking for the one thing she wanted to hear.

“...So I will ask one, last, time Naoki-kun. Do you remember me?”

“...”

I knew…that the words I was about to say to her, were more hurtful than any insult I could throw at her. I knew, that these three words I was about to say, I could come to regret very dearly. But I had already made up my mind.

“I…” 

<<I’m sorry>>

“I don’t remember.”

Kido’s eyes slanted upwards, and her eyes began to glimmer even more than before, but she quickly clenched her teeth before something threatened to spill.

Releasing her grip on my shoulder, she murmured, “Sorry for troubling you.”

Without batting an eye and trying to hide her face as much as possible, she got up as fast as she could and began to run away, not looking back even once.

I sat up and extended my hand out as if I wanted to reach out to her…as If I wanted to stop her.

But I didn’t say anything…I had no right. And I watched her fade into the distance.

I let out a deep and profound breath of air before falling back into the grass. Who nows how much time had passed after that. I simply stared at the clouds up above, thinking. Just like I wanted I stopped a bond from forming.

I'm the worst.